How to find a balance between social media and real life?
Q. This is more a coping with stress question than a relationship one, but they're both linked. My cellphone is stressing me! It's taking a toll on my emotional wellbeing. It started after my 4 best friends created a group chat on WhatsApp. It was ...
A. 14 January 2014: Delete the WhatsApp for starters. You said yourself that most of the time it's idle chatter about nothing important so you're not missing anything. You're not likely to lose touch with them since you have so many other ways to communicate.
Keep ... (read in full...)
I have a fantasy, but is it too 'out there' to share with her?
Q. I have a strong desire to cum in my girlfriend's long hair, but I know it will be really messy and difficult to get out. How can I bring this fantasy up to my girlfriend? Do you think she will think I'm weird? If you are a woman would you allow a ...
A. 14 January 2014: You're very welcome. ... (read in full...)
I have a fantasy, but is it too 'out there' to share with her?
Q. I have a strong desire to cum in my girlfriend's long hair, but I know it will be really messy and difficult to get out. How can I bring this fantasy up to my girlfriend? Do you think she will think I'm weird? If you are a woman would you allow a ...
A. 13 January 2014: OP, I'm going to amend my answer somewhat.
After re-reading this, then reading Honeypie's answer and recalling all the posts we get from women who've been approached by boyfriends and husbands with similar fantasies and think they're obliged ... (read in full...)
His comment about the other girl really has me doubting myself
Q. Why do I feel this way? I'm I overreacting? So my boyfriend is on holiday and he's staying with his friend and he has a female roomate. We were talking and I asked how the girl is. He said they get on really well. They went shopping toget...
A. 13 January 2014: I misread this and thought it was your current boyfriend who made the remark.
OP, don't set yourself and your boyfriend up by asking if another woman is pretty. Your boyfriend knows why you're asking so it just makes you look insecure and give... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is still friends with his ex friend-with-benefits. Am I selfish or obsessive in my response to this situation?
Q. I'm not sure if I am acting selfish and obsessive or if I'm acting as most girls would in regards to my current relationship. I have been dating my boyfriend since last summer. I had a boyfriend for 2 years before my current boyfriend, and we had b...
A. 13 January 2014: You are acting as any man or woman whose partner constantly dangled a recent bed buddy in front of them would.
Your boyfriend is a cretin and both of you women are a couple of mugs. While you two engage in this silly competition for a man who ... (read in full...)
Would you be ok with your girlfriend travelling abroad with friends?
Q. my gf and i have been in a ldr for almost two years and we are about to close the distance and move in together this year. first step before proposing ;) we asked different questions to each other to make sure we would exactly what we are getting ...
A. 13 January 2014: My husband and I are fine with one travelling abroad with friends because we're not party people. For us it really would be a sight seeing adventure. We seldom drink and don't drink to excess when we do and neither of us is likely to go off with ... (read in full...)
His comment about the other girl really has me doubting myself
Q. Why do I feel this way? I'm I overreacting? So my boyfriend is on holiday and he's staying with his friend and he has a female roomate. We were talking and I asked how the girl is. He said they get on really well. They went shopping toget...
A. 13 January 2014: I hope you tagged him with a frying pan. In all seriousness, OP, this really is a dumpable offense. What he did was so completely disrespectful it defies belief. To show you this kind of disrespect is bad enough, but to do it for all to see is be... (read in full...)
I have a fantasy, but is it too 'out there' to share with her?
Q. I have a strong desire to cum in my girlfriend's long hair, but I know it will be really messy and difficult to get out. How can I bring this fantasy up to my girlfriend? Do you think she will think I'm weird? If you are a woman would you allow a ...
A. 13 January 2014: All you can do is ask her but be prepared to drop it forever if she refuses.
You could sweeten the pot by offering to wash it out for her, perhaps treating her to a hot scented bath in which she gets to just relax while you clean up your own mess... (read in full...)
He cheated on me and isn't trustworthy! Do I take him back?
Q. I recently had a breakup after a 1 year long relation .he cheated on me for another girl but now he keeps on sending me texts and calls me and says he wants me back and he's sorry.on one hand i want to go back but on the other hand i feel like he ...
A. 12 January 2014: Do not take the ex back. He had a whole year to make a good impression and he choose to blow it. That's his problem, not yours. Cut ties and don't speak to him again. He's not your friend.
The caste thing may be unreasonable by our standard... (read in full...)
Should I date my ex's brother?
Q. My dear cupid friends please I need your help now. I met a guy in September and we started dating for almost a month. Our date was perfect and we had a lot of fun but there was things like him smoking that I didn't like so I asked him to stop and he ...
A. 12 January 2014: Tacky. No, I do not think you should date him. And I don't think you should even hint about love with someone you hardly know.
OP, you must be more formal in your dealings with men until you know them well. You're opening up way too soon here.
... (read in full...)
Found sexual pics of my fiancé and his ex on his computer and not sure what to do or where to go from here....
Q. The other day I was uploading pics on my fiancés laptop and came across a file that had pics of him and his ex having sex and her giving him a blowjob. It was by far the worst thing I ever saw. I am 5 months pregnant too with our first child. There ...
A. 12 January 2014: I agree with the suggestion that he store the pictures of his ex some where you can't stumble upon them. Really he should have done that to begin with.
I can appreciate having some photos as keepsakes. The benign ones I mean. I still have photos o... (read in full...)
He asked me to leave my Bf. But is it love or lust with this other guy?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and in recent events he stopped being there for me. Its a long distance relationship so its understandable he gets busy with work but it become all he cares for. Certain things have occurred where i need...
A. 12 January 2014: First, why is your boyfriend long distance? Is he (or are you) away attending school or something? Is there a set date for one or both of you to relocate?
Personally, unless you're married and one of you is temporarily stationed abroad I don't se... (read in full...)
He is a really great guy...but why wont he divorce his ex?
Q. So, I am really very torn. I have been with my boyfriend for a year...and he has been separated for 2. They have no kids and she left him. He excuses for not applying is 1. No money and 2. Not wanting her to fight for the house (although as I s...
A. 11 January 2014: I wouldn't say another word about it to him. Instead I would quietly start extricating myself from this arrangement.
Your relationship, as it is now, is all your boyfriend wants but he doesn't know how to say that without losing you. He wants se... (read in full...)
He is cheating on me emotionally with his ex what should I do in this situation?
Q. I am dating a guy from last 7 months. But I have recently discovered he’s been emotionally cheating on me with his ex. He broke up with his ex (as she only dumped her) nearly one year ago. Only after that he started hitting on me but now a days he ...
A. 11 January 2014: You're more heavily invested in this relationship than your boyfriend is. He told you not to think of the future and he is still, clearly, hung up on his ex.
I think you should bow out of this gracefully and move on.
... (read in full...)
Did my poem scare him away?
Q. I wrote a poem for a guy I really like. We have had some good conversations but since it was his birthday I decided to write a poem on how great a person he is. The problem is its been about a week and a half and he has yet to respond. The poem said ...
A. 11 January 2014: I think the poem was a bit intimate. If it had been light hearted/tongue in cheek/humorous it might have been ok, but extolling his virtues is like a romantic serenade. That's my opinion. Others might disagree, but I do think it's intimate.
Don't... (read in full...)
I don't wish to lose my wife nor my friend!
Q. Hey everyone, I know this is going to sound bad but I really need some help. I have been married for 4 years with two lovely children, and although I love my wife and kids to bits I can't stop thinking about a friend of mine. We get on really well ...
A. 10 January 2014: For starters, there's the golden rule. Do unto others...
You wouldn't appreciate your wife associating with another man she had feelings for so show her the same courtesy you would have her show you.
It's only a matter of time before your wife... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is bringing me down, what should I do?
Q. I am on the verge of leaving my boyfriend of 9 months. It's been a rocky road as he is going through a divorce. There is no love lost but he can't seem to get things sorted out even though his ex has a new family. He is very up and down and was...
A. 7 January 2014: Then you have your answer.
Your boyfriend doesn't compliment your life. He just brings you down. He may not be an evil person and there may be some explanations for his behaviour but the results are still the same. It's not good for you to be ar... (read in full...)
My friend is marrying my brother and doesn't want to talk to me anymore!
Q. My friend started to date my brother some time ago, they started to plan for a baby and she's now pregnant, and they recently got engaged as well. We all spent Christmas together, but somehow things just seemed.. weird. I was looking forward to ...
A. 7 January 2014: Act the way you would if she weren't there, whether you're alone with her or in a group.
No need to be hostile. Just focus on the others you're with and if you're ever alone with her, act like you're by yourself. Limit your conversa... (read in full...)
Why is it bad to send ex a hate letter?
Q. I wrote a 3 page letter telling my ex how much I hate him. He had records of cheating and every time I forgave him and took him back. He's a liar and never changed. I'm so pissed and don't deserve after what I've done for him. So people said don't ...
A. 7 January 2014: 30-35?
If your ex wasn't concerned about earning your respect he isn't likely to be concerned about earning your contempt.
Sending him a hate letter gives him the satisfaction of knowing he had a greater impact on your life than you had on ... (read in full...)
I love him but don't want his life.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and our relationship is great. We've been through so many problems before and now he said he wants to marry me soon. Problem is, we come from totally different background. Our lifestyle and environment is a...
A. 7 January 2014: If I'm not mistaken you posted a very similar question not too long ago, but in that one you mentioned your boyfriend had cheated on you and you were still concerned about that. Was that you?
Given the different backgrounds and the fact that he ... (read in full...)
What would you consider cheating?
Q. I have a question for everyone. Would do you consider as cheating? I am divorced and single and have started dating again. I am talking to a new guy mostly texting and he is very interested in me but is uneasy about me talking to other guys he consi...
A. 7 January 2014: Talking to other men is not cheating when you haven't agreed to become exclusive, but I would tone it down with the flirting.
Being too familiar too soon will cause problems down the lin. It gives others a very poor impression of you and raises d... (read in full...)
My daughter's boyfriend is 31 years older than her!
Q. I have a 19-year-old daughter, an only child; she's in university studying medicine, and wants to work in the NHS. It's not her university I'm writing in about, but her choice of partner; he's 50, and a bathroom salesman. I'm not criticising his ...
A. 6 January 2014: I hit `Enter`too early....
Anyway, her mates will likely serve as your accomplices especially if the man has nothing to offer them and he`s seen to be depriving them of their friend.
... (read in full...)
My daughter's boyfriend is 31 years older than her!
Q. I have a 19-year-old daughter, an only child; she's in university studying medicine, and wants to work in the NHS. It's not her university I'm writing in about, but her choice of partner; he's 50, and a bathroom salesman. I'm not criticising his ...
A. 6 January 2014: Chances are she`ll lose interest in him before she`s done with university so I agree that you should let this run it`s course.
I recommend you let her do most of the talking, and ask questions conversationally where appropriate. Asking question... (read in full...)
What did he mean, "you don't have to sell your soul"
Q. Hello, I have been having an affair with a separated man. He has been separated for 5 years but remains in close contact with his wife who lives close by. She has never found anybody else and always hopes they will get back together. He has been ...
A. 6 January 2014: I`m going to take a different tack here.
Your lover is not a young man eager to settle down and start a family. He`s a seasoned man on the verge of retirement who has spent most of his adult life in various commitments (wife, children, job, car... (read in full...)
I was put on hold for his friends!
Q. Should I end my relationship with my boyfriend?. He said that he would be with me on new years eve. He said we would have a meal together at his place. He also said that we would spend the whole day together. He contacted me at 11.00am that day, ...
A. 6 January 2014: I responded before I saw your follow up.
My advice would have prevented this latest episode, but what`s done is done. At least you no longer have any doubts about where to go from here.
The man is a specimen. He is absolutely obnoxious and to... (read in full...)
I was put on hold for his friends!
Q. Should I end my relationship with my boyfriend?. He said that he would be with me on new years eve. He said we would have a meal together at his place. He also said that we would spend the whole day together. He contacted me at 11.00am that day, ...
A. 6 January 2014: Not harsh at all. Do I recommend that everyone break up this way? Of course not, but in some cases silence sends a stronger message than does an official break up.
The subtext of the silence here is 'There will be no discussion, no explanat... (read in full...)
I was put on hold for his friends!
Q. Should I end my relationship with my boyfriend?. He said that he would be with me on new years eve. He said we would have a meal together at his place. He also said that we would spend the whole day together. He contacted me at 11.00am that day, ...
A. 5 January 2014: Ignore all messages he sends you. Better yet, block him and change your profile so that only friends can contact you. You can always change it back months from now when he is well and truly gone.
... (read in full...)
He has been sleeping with my best friend but wants another chance!
Q. My boyfriend who is18 slept with my best friend during our entire one year relationship . He says that he is sorry and doesn't know why he did it bit wants me to give him another chance...
A. 5 January 2014: He should have made better use of the first chance, especially seeing as he had a whole year.
Send him packing. No explanations are necessary and don't get into any discussions about the past. Just cut him completely out of your life along wi... (read in full...)
We need to set some ground rules for our trial separation!
Q. I am 16 years older than my BF. We met 9 years ago and our relationship escalated quickly to the point of him moving to Texas from NY and building a house for us and my two kids. We have had our ups and downs. Mostly with his maturity. He was 21 ...
A. 5 January 2014: I would suggest no conditions and no guidelines.
For one, it would defeat the purpose and encumber you both with unrealistic expectations. And for another, how would either of you know these conditions were being met by the other?
OP, you... (read in full...)
I was put on hold for his friends!
Q. Should I end my relationship with my boyfriend?. He said that he would be with me on new years eve. He said we would have a meal together at his place. He also said that we would spend the whole day together. He contacted me at 11.00am that day, ...
A. 5 January 2014: New Year's Eve was three days ago and I'm guessing you still haven't heard from him. And this is not the first time he's done this.
Then it should be the last time. Dump him without a word. Just move on. When he doesn't hear from you after a ... (read in full...)
How can I cope with the pressure to marry?
Q. How can I become immune to the social pressure from family and friends to get married and 'settle down' already? I'm in my twenties, in a happy longterm relationship and still studying. We have a three year plan regarding starting a family. I ha...
A. 4 January 2014: You make peace with it by seeing the benefits in it.
... (read in full...)
Do I wait around for him till his ex moves out?
Q. Hi just wondering if you could help me with this situation i have been friends with a man i like for about a year now he was married but they are separated but still living together till she moves out. He has told me he likes me and wants to be with ...
A. 4 January 2014: Until his ex is completely out of the picture, physically, emotionally and legally, you're a free agent.
Don't wait for him. If you're still interested and available by the time he's ready, then go out on a few dates and see where it leads. I... (read in full...)
I'm going for a physical and am a little embarrassed that doctor will see I am bald "down there"!!
Q. I'm a 41 year old male. I have a Dr. appointment coming up in a few weeks for a full physical (haven't had one of those in quite awhile). I've been doing a full pubic hair shave for the last couple of months. I'm feeling a bit embarrassed that my ...
A. 3 January 2014: I know that line about the glitter and the gyn.
A lot of men go Brazilian these days so unless your doctor graduated yesterday, he or she has seen plenty of shaved men.
Years ago at a spa the woman giving me a facial was telling me about... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend cheat with this random facebook girl?
Q. My boyfriend and I have gotten extremely close over the last 6 months or so. However, before that, we weren't so close - we only spoke every couple of days, whereas now we're inseparable. My boyfriend and I go to different universities, but in the ...
A. 3 January 2014: If this girl had something she really needed or wanted to tell you should she would have found another way to reach you long ago.
I think the nature of Facebook allows folks to add people they don't know as intimately or wouldn't approach... (read in full...)
I went to the movies with a male friend. Was that cheating on my boyfriend?
Q. I've been friends with this guy for 2 years and 2 weeks ago he told me he's never had a gf before and that I was the first girl that got close to him and he developed feelings for me, I reminded him I have a boyfriend that I love, he said he was ...
A. 2 January 2014: There is nothing wrong with going to the cinema with a friend in general. It was this particular friend and the circumstances.
... (read in full...)
I went to the movies with a male friend. Was that cheating on my boyfriend?
Q. I've been friends with this guy for 2 years and 2 weeks ago he told me he's never had a gf before and that I was the first girl that got close to him and he developed feelings for me, I reminded him I have a boyfriend that I love, he said he was ...
A. 2 January 2014: There is only one reason a 'friend' makes this kind of confession to someone who already has a boyfriend. And that is to lure them away from that boyfriend. He may have known it was a long shot, but to him it was worth a try.
And you've rewarded... (read in full...)
His communication is really inconsistent
Q. Dear cupid...How much time do couples usually spend together talking or hanging out? I'm asking this because I notice my boyfriend's communication with me is inconsistent. Like some days he will be very talkative and really wanting to spend...
A. 2 January 2014: Your boyfriend sounds normal enough to me. People do go through moods. Sometimes we're outgoing and talkative and other times quiet and reflective.
What does stand out for me though is you 'always making sure he's okay' and 'always being there fo... (read in full...)
Is she done or just needing time?
Q. After a magical 4 yr relationship my ex dumped me just before Christmas. We had a rough year of fighting bc her ex took the kids away and there was a lot of stress and court appts. I was stressed bc I started a new job. She talked about marrying me ...
A. 2 January 2014: It sounds like she's done.
She has too much going on to be able to commit to another relationship. She finally has her children back so she'll want some down time with them, but she'll also have visitation with the ex to deal with and more cou... (read in full...)
Husband said he was just looking for friends, but I'm suspicious
Q. A little background of my situation. I have been married for almost 6 years. After about a year of happy marriage I found my husband talking with and exchanging nude pictures online. I confronted him and he apologized and promised it would never ...
A. 2 January 2014: Forgiveness would be the least of my worries here.
Your husband is clearly determined to indulge himself with men and you can't rely on him to be forthcoming, to use sound judgment or take appropriate precautions. I doubt very much he's using an... (read in full...)
Do women ever regret breaking the good guy's heart?
Q. Hello, why is it when men meet what it seems a nice women, they start to like they find out that their, exs treated them bad, abuse them, beat them , they say they want to be treated good, but when you do, they dump you an go back to the guy, who ...
A. 1 January 2014: OP, some women and men (you'd be surprised how many) return to a toxic former lover because it's a terrain they know and can navigate. I suspect such a person sees that toxic lover as the physical manifestation of their own inner critic and if they ... (read in full...)
I'm meeting my ex so she can get closure from our breakup but its making me very uncomfortable
Q. Hi, I never thought I'd resort to asking online, but I realize what I really need is an outsider's perspective on the situation. I'm bisexual, btw. Basically, this summer I started going out with a woman and although it was fun in the begin...
A. 1 January 2014: DO NOT MEET THIS WOMAN.
I cannot stress this enough. Under NO, repeat NO circumstances do you meet up with her. She is extremely self centred, violent and dangerously unstable. She may not have hit you yet, but make no mistake she IS violent.... (read in full...)
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