Should people in a relationship discuss their sexual past? I'm uncomfortable hearing about boyfriend's past.
Q. Hi everyone, I had a question and I hope you can answer. If you are in a relationship with someone, is it alright to ask about their sexual past? My boyfriend was telling me about the women he has been with and it made me a little uneasy. H...
A. 29 January 2014: To answer your first question, I would hardly consider it a violation of privacy to ask someone the odd question about their past when they've been volunteering information themselves.
I've never been one to ask about a boyfriend's sexual p... (read in full...)
If he loves me why can't he say the words? Should I talk to him about this?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months. He's absolutely wonderful and we spend as much time as possible together. I sleep over 4-5 times a week. Pretty much been playing house. Clean house, home cooked meals etc. but besides that we genuinely ...
A. 29 January 2014: No, I don't think you should force the issue. For whatever reason he clearly isn't ready to say the words. Just because you've said them doesn't mean he has to.
He treats you well. You're happy with him. It's only been three months. What's t... (read in full...)
I've been feeling really ashamed of myself about some things and I wondered if I could have some reassurance or honesty
Q. Hey, I am a 17 year old girl and I've been feeling really ashamed of myself about some things and I wondered if I could have some reassurance or honesty. I wouldn't consider myself as slutty because I'm not that kind of person, I have morals, ...
A. 28 January 2014: This is not a long post by any means.
Promiscuity is rather subjective, but I wouldn't consider you promiscuous by ANY stretch of the imagination and I don't think most people would either.
A word of advice though for future relationships or... (read in full...)
My BF wants me to go to the same college he does, but that's a ways off and I can't say yes.
Q. My boyfriend has asked me if I would go to the same college as him I'm 17 he's 17 and I don't want to say yes because I feel like college is a time for me to be free ad explore and I love him I really do but recently he asked me if I would marry him ...
A. 27 January 2014: Already?? That was fast.
... (read in full...)
My BF wants me to go to the same college he does, but that's a ways off and I can't say yes.
Q. My boyfriend has asked me if I would go to the same college as him I'm 17 he's 17 and I don't want to say yes because I feel like college is a time for me to be free ad explore and I love him I really do but recently he asked me if I would marry him ...
A. 27 January 2014: I agree that his being a father at age 17 says a a lot about him.
My advice is to keep this simple and just tell him you haven't decided what college you'll be attending and marriage is too big a step and too far off in the future for you to be th... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat?
Q. Why do men cheat?? Ive had thought my partner of 4 yrs was cheating on me ... in November he moved away 50miles to work saying he qohld come bk every weekend. Well he sumtimes came bk bit also only for a day or one nite ans half the day I kept ...
A. 27 January 2014: You're biological need to eat takes priority over your urge to procreate but I'm sure you don't go about stealing food from the grocery store. ... (read in full...)
Was this saleswoman inappropriate??
Q. I was recently in a gas station on the way to work, quickly getting a drink, it was 12pm and I was in my work uniform. I dont often go to this station but it is close to where i live. The woman behind the counter (40-48) approximately I...
A. 27 January 2014: I'm referring to her comment about you looking pale and tired, not the mistake about the night shift. The latter was harmless and I wouldn't think twice about it. ... (read in full...)
Was this saleswoman inappropriate??
Q. I was recently in a gas station on the way to work, quickly getting a drink, it was 12pm and I was in my work uniform. I dont often go to this station but it is close to where i live. The woman behind the counter (40-48) approximately I...
A. 27 January 2014: I think she was extremely rude, but not trying to be. I was wondering about Aspergers myself.
It's generally ill mannered to offer any unsolicited opinions about someone's appearance, even compliments because what WE might think is flatteri... (read in full...)
NEVER will do anything for a woman unless there is sexual intention involved.
Q. I had a discussion with a friend today about my upcoming trip, and she said that men NEVER will do anyhting for a woman unless there is sexual intention involved. I told her that I had and have plenty of guy friends. She asked me to think under w...
A. 27 January 2014: Ask yourself this. If you were very physically unattractive, how many of these guy friends would you likely be friends with today?
They may not all expect sex, but often times their friendship is based on sexual attraction. This is not my armchair... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat?
Q. Why do men cheat?? Ive had thought my partner of 4 yrs was cheating on me ... in November he moved away 50miles to work saying he qohld come bk every weekend. Well he sumtimes came bk bit also only for a day or one nite ans half the day I kept ...
A. 27 January 2014: I’ve confused nothing. I've simply noted that throughout history there has been an uncanny similarity between dominant male preference and 'scientific fact’.
Do I think these scientists consciously and deliberately falsify data to satisfy a person... (read in full...)
How to friendzone a hookup?
Q. I met this guy at a party last semester and we really hit it off!!! we hung out a few times and ended up having sex twice... unfortunatly the sex was terrible and his pen15 was ridiculously small... it makes me really sad to say but it kinda ruined ...
A. 25 January 2014: You don't. The friend zone is for friends. Those who only want sex will just move on. This guy has buddies. If he wanted more, he'd seek out other guys. What he wants is sex and if you're not willing to put out he really has no further use for ... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat?
Q. Why do men cheat?? Ive had thought my partner of 4 yrs was cheating on me ... in November he moved away 50miles to work saying he qohld come bk every weekend. Well he sumtimes came bk bit also only for a day or one nite ans half the day I kept ...
A. 25 January 2014: The facts don't support the 'scientific' explanation.
Men who wear condoms or pressure their pregnant mistresses to have an abortion are definitely not trying to perpetuate the species. And let's not forget that a lot of these men are sneaking... (read in full...)
Why on earth do women agree to an FWB situation?
Q. After reading so many posts here and seeing what girls and women do around me, I have a question, why on Earth women agree to FWB situation?? I understand if casual sex just happens once, in a heat of a moment, once very rarely and it's not a no...
A. 24 January 2014: I know this question is a bit old now, but I`m going to chime in anyway.
Some of these women hope that friends with benefits will grow into something more meaningful, but I suspect what most women want is to enjoy the companionship of men, on ... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat?
Q. Why do men cheat?? Ive had thought my partner of 4 yrs was cheating on me ... in November he moved away 50miles to work saying he qohld come bk every weekend. Well he sumtimes came bk bit also only for a day or one nite ans half the day I kept ...
A. 24 January 2014: Do you remember that feeling you had when you were first dating? The risk, the excitement and the escape from the mundane? Well, he wants to have that feeling again and there is nothing new and exciting about someone you've known and paid bills with ... (read in full...)
Is his contact with the girl from the AA meetings violating their open relationship rules?
Q. Ok- I am posting for my best friend because it is an issue she is struggling with and came to me for help/to talk. I'm not sure exactly what to tell her. She is engaged and living with her fiance. They are in an open relationship and have been to...
A. 24 January 2014: I would consider their acquaintance a violation of the spirit of the law, but not sure whether it's a violation of the wording. That depends on how they define 'dating'.
If, for example, her boyfriend has a one night stand and his subseque... (read in full...)
How does FB determine the suggestions for "people you may know"?
Q. my boyfriend is 36 he loves me so much and i had never seen such a romantic love in my life,i dont go to details and to make a long story short i know he is not that type of person to pay attention to anyone else, we know each other for 10 years he ...
A. 24 January 2014: Here is a link that should answer your question. If I've understood it correctly it Facebook doesn't just refer those with whom you have mutual friends. It also recommends anyone with whom there might be a similarity, such as employer, location or ... (read in full...)
Why would a guy check out a woman's profile if he wasn't interested in dating her?
Q. I wanted to ask why a guy would check out a woman's profile if he wasn't interested in dating her? I went on a date with a guy who was interested in me in the beginning he complimented me constantly and told me how much he liked the way I look, but ...
A. 21 January 2014: If a woman looks at your profile does that mean she's a lesbian and wants to date you?
Looking can mean all sorts of things, but in this case I wouldn't read more into it. If the man wanted to see you that badly he'd be calling you and making a... (read in full...)
I need to reassure my husband who is feeling insecure about his penis size..what should I say?
Q. I have a question I have been married for sometime. I have only had sex with 2 guys the first guy I was with was somewhat bigger than my husband and we had trouble. My husband and I were talking about sex and the past and I mention that the first ...
A. 21 January 2014: I think the solution here is to take the focus off how your husband feels and put it in the middle where BOTH of you exist.
A simple 'I said I don't know now stop asking' would suffice. It's perfectly reasonable. Allowing your irritation to show ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a pee fetish but now comes up with excuses when I offer to indulge it!
Q. Hi everyone! So my bf and I have been together for almost two years were both in our early 20s. My boyfriend recently told me he has a pee fetish, he basically likes watching porn where girls pee in random places or in public. Recently I noticed ...
A. 21 January 2014: OP, what do you suppose would happen if you said what you had to say and went about your business un-phased?
All this crying and hyper sensitivity is a smoke screen to avoid whatever it is he doesn't like. And you caving in the way you do is do... (read in full...)
I feel neglected in this "unofficial" LDR
Q. This unofficial relationship is driving me crazy! Here it goes, the guy and I live 4 1/2 hours away from each other. We divided soon, we want to get serious. I had sex with a man while we weren't really "talking" and he got upset. We promised after ...
A. 21 January 2014: I think that if you're not getting what you need with an online boyfriend you should put an end to the arrangement and find someone local. And don't bother saying anything to him about the second incident. ... (read in full...)
I stood him up twice due to anxiety and now I don't know how to fix things
Q. I was supposed to go on a date with this absolutely amazing guy and I told him I couldn't make it... This was only because I suffer from anxiety issues and the thought of going on a dare with him prettified me. I know I'm always ok once I'm on the ...
A. 21 January 2014: Before you contact him again you should figure out what you're hoping to accomplish. That will help you decide if and how you should proceed.
He may accept your explanation and it may soothe his anger but what would change? As far as he's con... (read in full...)
Her dating our friend's brother on the sly seems like a betrayal
Q. So, this is not necessarily about me. It is about my best friends Elen and Leila. Leila and I have been close for four years, and then we met Elen, and have all three been close for 3 years. I've even stayed with Leila and her family for a couple of ...
A. 21 January 2014: I can understand Leila might not appreciate her brother having a fling with one of her friends but it really isn't any of her business.
Tell Elen you don't feel comfortable keeping this kind of secret and that you don't want to hear any more abo... (read in full...)
This habit is killing me from the inside!
Q. hello .. i am 21 and a virgin... my problem is that though i do gymming and practice yoga at times .. i have a bad habit of masturbating on every alternating days. i don't have any girlfriend . i watch too much of porn and i can't stop myself from ...
A. 21 January 2014: Whether or not you masturbate too often is subjective. If YOU think it's excessive then I have to assume the frequency is affecting you negatively somehow.
So instead of taking on a huge 'for the rest of my life' endeavour I suggest you take eac... (read in full...)
Does he deserve a second chance?
Q. We dated for a two years it was great until the last 6 months. He started to mistreat me such as not wanting to hang out with me and talk down to me. I broke up with him and went no contact for four months. He recently sent me flowers apologized ...
A. 20 January 2014: Nope. He should have made better use of the first chance.
It's great that he's finally learned to appreciate what he had. He can apply that valuable lesson to the next woman he dates. And you can walk away secure in the knowledge that no one g... (read in full...)
Is he interested or not?
Q. 2 weeks ago on a Friday night I went out in a nightclub in central London and met a 24 year old banker, who is single and a nice guy. I am 21 years old and go to university about 2 hours away from London. My home is in London (where my parents ...
A. 20 January 2014: You should do nothing and carry on as if you hadn't met this guy. He may be busy and he may be interested in you but not enough to worry you'll be scooped up by someone else in his absence. If and when he does contact you again, be cheerful a... (read in full...)
Why would a guy ask this question" do you think you are pretty enough for me?"
Q. Why would a guy ask this question" do you think you are pretty enough for me?" Please help me understand why the guy I am seeing might ask that? I'm really not sure it came out of no where he texted that to me and I answered as truthfully as I could ...
A. 20 January 2014: Ready to be more serious? Um...that would not have been my first guess. Especially since he asked it out of the blue via text.
He wants you to start doubting yourself so he can have the upper hand.
Toss this one back into the sea. ... (read in full...)
I expressed my feelings about the relationship and he called me psycho!!!
Q. Hello all. I've been in a relationship with a man for the last 7 months. We have had plenty of ups and downs but currently we are in a down trend. I sensed he was pulling away about two weeks ago because he had a lot going on in his life. I offered ...
A. 20 January 2014: Here is a link to the question you submitted on October 12, 2013.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-treated-me-badly-so-why-do-i.html
... (read in full...)
I expressed my feelings about the relationship and he called me psycho!!!
Q. Hello all. I've been in a relationship with a man for the last 7 months. We have had plenty of ups and downs but currently we are in a down trend. I sensed he was pulling away about two weeks ago because he had a lot going on in his life. I offered ...
A. 20 January 2014: 1. No, I do not think you were right in expressing your feelings about the relationship because a) you're not in a relationship with this man* and b) you've been badgering him with texts and emails about your feelings for the past several months. ... (read in full...)
No contact from boyfriend for 8 days...
Q. I haven't heard from my boyfriend, of 3 years, since the 9th (8 days). No text, call, message, absolutely nothing. The last time I heard from him he told me he loved me and I'm pretty sure his phone ran out of time the next day which makes it a ...
A. 19 January 2014: I'll be as positive as I can but you're still not going to like what I have to say.
If this were a normal, healthy relationship I'd say call him just to make sure he's ok (though if he weren't you'd have heard about it long before now).
... (read in full...)
My head is going nuts and he has left me confused!
Q. I wrote here about a week ago about a guy I'm dating, it isn't serious I don't particularly want it to be serious I just want to go with the flow kind of thing enjoy the moment take things slow. Last night we went out and had a great time decid...
A. 19 January 2014: Actually it IS that simple. In fact it's more simple now than it was before. The man is clearly a cad. Not getting too serious too soon is certainly wise, but telling someone that you don't care if you ever see them again, and that you're not ... (read in full...)
How do I let him know his behaviour is not acceptable?
Q. Hi guys. I'll try to be as brief as possible because this is complicated. So, I met my current guy two years ago through a mutual friend and very quickly we became inseparable. He was the best boyfriend I ever had, beautiful, romantic, and totally ...
A. 19 January 2014: Clearly his behaviour IS acceptable. To you anyway or you wouldn't keep taking him back.
He acts the way he does because he has nothing to lose. Not hearing from you for a couple of months gives him the space he wants and when he wants you back... (read in full...)
He has left me dangling and my life is on hold.
Q. My boyfriend and I split up three weeks ago he has serious mental health issues and said he cant sustain a relationship as he coudnt think straight . He said he was going to get help and in the meantime has seen me three or four times and says he ...
A. 19 January 2014: What is stopping you from making a decision?
Given the circumstances, and the fact that he has done nothing to improve those circumstances, I'd say the decision is all but made. You just need to accept it and move on with your own life.
... (read in full...)
She has a boyfriend but tells me her relationship is falling apart! Should I make a move?
Q. Hi! A year ago I posted here with regards to the break-up from hell. Well, I can safely say 12 months later that's all in the past Moved on with my life and it's all going well. So there's this new girl. Problem is... she has a boyfriend. Yep, ...
A. 19 January 2014: Keep your distance. We hear about the falling apart relationship so often here it's become cliché.
She's not married to the guy, doesn't have children with him, their finances aren't tied up so why is she still with him? If she wants it over you... (read in full...)
I feel furious and totally used!
Q. Hi, I'm just wondering what people make of this, because I feel so angry when I think about it and I need to off load. 2 years ago now, met a girl while out. It was like love at first sight if you know what I mean. We went on a date and it was ...
A. 19 January 2014: I don't think she used you, OP. I do think she was sincere and did feel strongly for you, but she became easily overwhelmed. A relationship carries a lot of expectations and I think she believes she needs more space than a normal relationship will ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a problem with me tanning
Q. Recently I arranged a tanning session at the pool with a few friends. But my boyfriend doesn't like it when I tan because he says that other guys would be staring at me. While I get where he's coming from and his unhappiness. I can't help but feel ...
A. 17 January 2014: Do not try to reason with him. The more you try, the more you validate his position and weaken your own.
You don't try to reason with someone about needing to use the washroom, do you? So treat this with the same non-negotiable-sorry you feel tha... (read in full...)
He wants to be friends, but don't friends wish each other happy birthday?
Q. I told a sweet, decent guy I had liked him for a long while (over facebook, only cause I hardly get to see him) about a month ago. I'm a little embarrassed about it... I had told him every single quality I found admirable about him and while ...
A. 17 January 2014: You will most likely get over him completely to the point that looking back you'll wonder why you were so enamoured of him now.
What you can do to help yourself get over him sooner is see his flaws and short comings. When we're attracted to someo... (read in full...)
Potential boyfriend is demanding to know my past, and then comments negatively!
Q. I've been talking to a guy that I met through a dating website for almost 3 months now. We live across the country so we haven't met yet but we text all day and skype pretty regularly. For the most part, things are pretty good with him and I feel ...
A. 16 January 2014: Yes, it is highly unusual for a potential boyfriend to be this interested in and this demanding of sexual details from your past.
He is clearly more interested in who was between your legs than with what is between your ears.
This guy is n... (read in full...)
He wants to be friends, but don't friends wish each other happy birthday?
Q. I told a sweet, decent guy I had liked him for a long while (over facebook, only cause I hardly get to see him) about a month ago. I'm a little embarrassed about it... I had told him every single quality I found admirable about him and while ...
A. 16 January 2014: Not necessarily. I don't go out of my way to keep track of every friend's birthday so I can contact them and wish them well.
I think the guy is tactfully keeping a safe distance because any sign of affection from him could (and likely would) b... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a pee fetish but now comes up with excuses when I offer to indulge it!
Q. Hi everyone! So my bf and I have been together for almost two years were both in our early 20s. My boyfriend recently told me he has a pee fetish, he basically likes watching porn where girls pee in random places or in public. Recently I noticed ...
A. 16 January 2014: I second Tisha's answer and I'll add that just because he liked something for a while doesn't mean he'll always like it. Interests and tastes can and often do change.
I don't think you did anything wrong. I suspect he's either satisfied that cra... (read in full...)
He never wanted us to travel there, but now he's going to a conference??
Q. Hello everyone, my boyfriend´s told me he applied for one work conference that´s held in New York and I really got mad at him. Why? Because my all-time dream is going to NYC and everytime I asked him if we´d go there, all he ever said was "hell no, ...
A. 16 January 2014: I think you're over reacting.
I can understand being disappointed, however there isn't anything stopping you from going with a friend or relative in the future. I know you'd prefer it to be with him but that doesn't mean it HAS to be with him... (read in full...)
How to find a balance between social media and real life?
Q. This is more a coping with stress question than a relationship one, but they're both linked. My cellphone is stressing me! It's taking a toll on my emotional wellbeing. It started after my 4 best friends created a group chat on WhatsApp. It was ...
A. 14 January 2014: Delete the WhatsApp for starters. You said yourself that most of the time it's idle chatter about nothing important so you're not missing anything. You're not likely to lose touch with them since you have so many other ways to communicate.
Keep ... (read in full...)
| *iar's friends
These are mutual friends, so *iar has
added them and they have added *iar!
|
