| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I am bringing bad luck to my boyfriends.
Q. Hello, I have a strange problem and I really hope I can find any answer for it or somebody who is having the same. So, everytime I fall in love and have a relation with some boy, he starts to have so much bad luck (for example lost work, broken lap...
A. 5 October 2013: I think the case is rather that you pick bad boyfriends. When you're not in a relationship with them you don't see/hear about the bad situations they get themselves into- Causing a road accident is NOT bad luck, that's being a bad driver and not ... (read in full...)
He's always back and forth on how he feels about me. How should I handle this?
Q. Any advice appreciated! I met a guy about 6 weeks ago on a night out. He was really into me, asked for my number and was texting a lot. It came out that he hadn't long been dumped so I kept my distance but started to like him through spending time ...
A. 5 October 2013: Red flag. If he was so worried about entering a new relationship then why did he hit on you and flirt with you? It doesnt make sense. Id back off completely and find a real man who knows what he wants. Life is too short for this. Let him be to ... (read in full...)
Tiny boobs and a wierd vagina
Q. Hi please help! One of my labia minora is stretched, saggy and gross! Is there anything I can do and if not is it weird Also my breasts have been stuck at a 32a for a year now what does this mean? (My mother is a c aunty is a d as is cousin does t...
A. 5 October 2013: You are still developing. Breast can grow from any time between 10-20 really. I didnt get my full size until I was around 21. So be patient, let things grow and then have a second rewiew at 20. If you are still worried then, go see your doctor and ... (read in full...)
Guys: Would you have sex with a woman on her period?
Q. What are your opinions on period sex? Especially guys... Would you have sex with a woman on her period? Would you do this only if you were in a relationship with her and care about or love her? Or would you do it with a random woman if you wa...
A. 5 October 2013: I would not have sex while on my period unless it was with someone I trusted. And so far Ive only had sex with my current boyfriend while on my period. Because he cant keep his hands off me and doesnt care. Other boyfriends of the past didnt try to ... (read in full...)
Yells, screams and is needlessly hostile to me. How do I deal with my BF when he is like this?
Q. Needlessly hostile boyfriend, hard to deal with. I'm on my last nerve with my boyfriend, and I feel like I have no one else to turn to. We've been dating for over a year, and we're both 21. This weekend was supposed to be a good, fun couple of days ...
A. 5 October 2013: You can do better. Being single is even better than this. Ask yourself if this is good enough, if you are happy. You only live once, settling for "better, but still bad" will be like throwing your life away. Learn to be independent. Dare to be on ... (read in full...)
I know which one I want, but I cant tell him to leave!
Q. the love of my life, 'mike' and i have been together on and off for 3 years. over the times we've broken up i've been with other people, but it was always short lived and we always have stayed in touch. when we broke up the first time he went home ...
A. 4 October 2013: Honestly, you and Mike are not soulmates. There is no such thing, and if there was you wouldnt have been on and off. Youre in an on and off relationship, thats what you are. Not a soulmate relationship, an on and off relationship. Big difference. ... (read in full...)
He spends more time online and in chat rooms than with me - what should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm on the verge of tears, I have no idea what to do. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and soul, but lately he's become so enamored with this virtual chat game called IMVU. He spends more time on that game then he does ...
A. 4 October 2013: Gaming addiction. My ex was like this, but with WoW. Google gaming addiction for further info, and read up about it. Not much to do I am afraid. I had to leave that relationship. It only got worse with time, to the point he didnt even notice I was ... (read in full...)
Can you get over a lack of physical attraction if the person is great enough?
Q. How do you get over not having a physical attraction to someone? I met the most amazing guy. Which is not something I say easily or throw around, I have been married and never talked that way about my ex husband. We have been talking for a fe...
A. 2 October 2013: You are not shallow! Obesity isn't healty, and few are attracted to that. Uts very basic, same as symetrical faces are more attractive. It is a sign of health. When choosing a partner we want a healthy one, instinctively. You dont choose what you ... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 2 October 2013: So you dont want her to leave her boyfriend, but you want to "work towards" becoming a couple. So... Katie is a bigamist? Ah, that explains it all!
... (read in full...)
Do some things come with time?
Q. I've been seeing my current boyfriend for nearly a month. We've both never had a serious relationship before. I have always chosen men who are abusive, and this made me very afraid of committing. But, my current bf is the most amazingly intelligent, ...
A. 2 October 2013: I think a month is too soon to expect everything to have come out. You are both holding back, and he needs time to open up. Laughing about something can be just as intimate as crying over something. Not everyone will relax and let you see them in ... (read in full...)
How can I make him understand that my life is not just an extension of his?
Q. I have been with my bf for about two years now when we met I had moved to the city and so didn't know anyone but my aunt here who's no help to me whatsoever. The problem is I haven't made any friends since we got together we do everything he wants ...
A. 1 October 2013: Pardon the typoes, writing on my phone.... (read in full...)
How can I make him understand that my life is not just an extension of his?
Q. I have been with my bf for about two years now when we met I had moved to the city and so didn't know anyone but my aunt here who's no help to me whatsoever. The problem is I haven't made any friends since we got together we do everything he wants ...
A. 1 October 2013: Break up and go home to your friends. If they are true friebds they will ve there for you. You cant live your life like this, and it will not change. He will not change. Do the things you need to do to be happy! Its your life after all!
... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 30 September 2013: Where does she get her income from?
There's no "what the hell" about thinking she could be a single mom. Lots of women are.
Look, you're in love, but that doesn't give you an excuse to be stupid. Why is it unlikely that she could be a singl... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 30 September 2013: We're not trying to make a fool out of you, but actually trying to help you.
You're really caught up about this girl, you've fallen madly in love with her. That's why you don't see the really weird parts of this story, how unlikely this scenario... (read in full...)
My mom doesn't think I should take my expensive purse on vacation with us! How do I address this?
Q. I recently purchased a $400-valued Coach handbag and I carry it everywhere with me. My family and I are visiting relatives in east Asia this winter, and my mom is concerned that my handbag will attract unwanted attention and thieves. While I ...
A. 30 September 2013: Tell her its your loss if it gets stolen. So that is your worry, not hers. You just need to show her you are an adult who takes responsibility for your actions. Meaning if it does get stolen (or whatever else she worries about) you will not cry to ... (read in full...)
How late is too late to start dating in the modern world?
Q. How late is too late for guys to enter the dating game and start looking for a relationship. 25? 30? 35? I mean, to really just START! Never been on a date before, never had sex, maybe never even kissed a girl. This could all be due to many combi...
A. 30 September 2013: Women are no different from men in this regard. Some have lots of experience, some dont. Some will want an experienced man, but most wont care if hes "fresh". Its too late to start dating if you're dead. Anytime before then is fine. Dont create a ... (read in full...)
How much should I dress up or make up for my FWB?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I have a fwb with this guy who I really fancy! He knows How much I fancy him, but we both know it will not become anything more. I'm just wondering how much effort should I or shouldn't I be putting in into our sexy time? I...
A. 29 September 2013: If that is the case then no worries. It sounds like you aren't really that experienced, or maybe insecure like so many girls are. We're trained from childhood to "please the man", which annoys me to no end.
But I will tell you that nothing ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure how to tell my girlfriend I'd like to have time to spend with my friends.
Q. I'm not sure how to tell my girlfriend I'd like to have time to spend with my friends. We have opposite schedules at the moment for the most part, so she thinks I have all this free time when she isn't around when I really don't. In fact it makes...
A. 29 September 2013: You need to talk to her about this. In a real conversation, and not just on the phone when you try to tell her you want to hang out with friends. You need to talk to her prior to any plans you make with friends. She clearly doesn't have that many ... (read in full...)
Vibrators - are they all penetrative?
Q. Hi, We've discussed vibrators and wanted to know if vibrators have to be inserted? my wife always has clitoral orgasms and is not comfortable with anything being inserted into her. Having a brief look, it looks like they need to be penetrative w...
A. 29 September 2013: Vibrators are not penetrative. That's dildo's. Sure you CAN insert the vibrator, but they are for most part designed for external stimulation. You use it in whichever way you like, to be honest. Just because something might look like it should be ... (read in full...)
Going to meet my online girl and would really like to lose my virgnity with her
Q. hello. i'd really like your opinions and advice on my current situation... this is going to be a bit long, but PLEASE bare with me. i am 24 years old and STILL a virgin and it's frustrating. i'm not a bad looking guy by any means. i've b...
A. 29 September 2013: I'm going to try and not be so blunt, but would you do yourself the favour of thinking with your head and not with your .. well, penis?
Look, there's two ways to see this. Either this girl is amazing and a great friend of yours who you respect ... (read in full...)
How much should I dress up or make up for my FWB?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I have a fwb with this guy who I really fancy! He knows How much I fancy him, but we both know it will not become anything more. I'm just wondering how much effort should I or shouldn't I be putting in into our sexy time? I...
A. 29 September 2013: Mind if I ask you some questions instead?
Why do you act like you are offering yourself up for this guy, and act like you "should" do anything? Why can't you make up your own mind and do what YOU want to do? Why is what you want supposed... (read in full...)
Is it safe to go to a music festival alone?
Q. Would you go to a music festival alone? I moved to a new city a few months ago, and haven't made any close friends yet. Since moving here, I have missed out on a few events that I've really wanted to go to, but have ended up just staying home ...
A. 29 September 2013: "Also, if you're really concerned about being harassed by men, you can reduce the risk of that by dressing conservatively."
This is misinformation. A rapist doesn't care what the woman wears. When I was dragged into the bedroom of a guy at a par... (read in full...)
Yells, screams and is needlessly hostile to me. How do I deal with my BF when he is like this?
Q. Needlessly hostile boyfriend, hard to deal with. I'm on my last nerve with my boyfriend, and I feel like I have no one else to turn to. We've been dating for over a year, and we're both 21. This weekend was supposed to be a good, fun couple of days ...
A. 29 September 2013: At your age it is so hard to see the simple truth: he is not someone you should be in a relationship with! Yes, there are things in a relationship that can be worked on, but only when both parties actually want to, and it is something minor. Like ... (read in full...)
Is it safe to go to a music festival alone?
Q. Would you go to a music festival alone? I moved to a new city a few months ago, and haven't made any close friends yet. Since moving here, I have missed out on a few events that I've really wanted to go to, but have ended up just staying home ...
A. 28 September 2013: I just remember one time I went out in Moscow to go clubbing, and I was 17 or 18 at the time. I had a male friend who was supposed to stay with me, but he ditched me in the middle of the night without even saying good-bye. He'd had a drink or two ... (read in full...)
Is it safe to go to a music festival alone?
Q. Would you go to a music festival alone? I moved to a new city a few months ago, and haven't made any close friends yet. Since moving here, I have missed out on a few events that I've really wanted to go to, but have ended up just staying home ...
A. 28 September 2013: I've gone before, alone, and I don't think it is any safer to go with other people. What makes the difference is how much you plan to drink and how late you plan on staying. Whether you are alone or with friends matter little. When with friends, if ... (read in full...)
What's the difference between "real sex" and soft, vanilla-porn?
Q. I have yet to be in a relationship or, as pathetic as it is to admit, have sex (mostly because - and it's not a low self-esteem thing - I'm unattractive; women aren't interested in me, never have and it seems like never will; I get it, and I'm okay ...
A. 28 September 2013: It's a low self esteem thing.
Women all over are dating men who, in my eyes, are unattractive. So that just tells you something about beauty being in the eyes of the beholder.. and it's a fact. So, it's got to be a self esteem thing.
Besides... (read in full...)
Do you just let your ex become a stranger?
Q. My ex isnt willing to see me with someone new and i dont want to see his either so we defriended each other on facebook (FYI: It was a bad breakup) We are in different countries so we will never ever see each other again. Do you guys just let your ...
A. 27 September 2013: Yes, I let all my exes become strangers. I also have an ex in another country and we're not friends on facebook and we don't have any friends in common either. For all I know he could be dead and gone, that's how little I know about him these days. ... (read in full...)
He didn't celebrate my birthday. Am I overreacting if I break things off?
Q. I have been dating this guy for about a month now. As far as I know, we have been seeing each other exclusively. Things have been going well this far until my birthday yesterday. I had a birthday dinner with friends scheduled for the day before my ...
A. 23 September 2013: Overreaction. Youve dated one month. You dont know for sure you are exclusive. You only hinted towards celebrating with him. Why should he make plans, it was your birthay, not his. Even my bf of two years wouldnt dream to tell me how I should spend ... (read in full...)
Can't stop cheating on my boyfriend -- why?
Q. I'm 25 and have been with my boyfriend for 9 years, but I can't stop cheating on him. Our relationship is really good and we love each other so much, he isn't romantic but he is such an affectionate guy. I've been looking on line to try and ...
A. 22 September 2013: Have you been in therapy for the sexual abuse? It is quite likely an unresolved problem, and cheating could have turned into your way of protecting yourself. Not that it excuses you, but if you understand the cause you might stop it. In what ... (read in full...)
Why do guys pretend like they are looking for a great personality when it's really just physical attraction they are looking for? Why don't people just admit the shallow truth?
Q. From experience and observation, I know for a fact that a huge majority men do NOT give a crap about a woman's personality. They just instantly know whether they are going to put up with a woman's crap or not. If you find someone physical...
A. 22 September 2013: What sort of experience do you have with this? The only experience I would think would be proper to conclude that all men are shallow is if you have two different bodies and you date the same men simultaneously and they put up with x amount of crap ... (read in full...)
He would make plans with me, then disappear and turn off his cell.
Q. hello I have a guy friend.he met me once. he would always make plans with me. but he wouldnt turn up on the day we make plans. Its always he who makes the plans. but finally when i call him on the day he made the plan his cell is off. goes direct...
A. 22 September 2013: You are making plans with him if you agree to meet him, don't you know that? Even if he is the one who initiates, you agree to meet him, thus you are making plans with him. Stop agreeing to meet him when you know he doesn't make an appearance.
... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity but neither have a good place for it.
Q. I am about 17 years old and i have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I feel like i am ready to have sex with him but i haven't discussed it with him. I feel scared that if he says no that things will become uncomfortable between us and ...
A. 22 September 2013: Why are you not comfortable at your own house?
Maybe look into cheap hotels and take a weekend away? Or go camping?
I'd much rather do it at my own house in my own bed though, than somewhere else, but that's just me. But I understand it if... (read in full...)
I ruined his birthday, but is it justified because his friendship with his ex was out of line.
Q. I'm talking to this guy and every now and then he goes and hangs out with his ex girlfriend. He knows that I don't like it at all because when hes with her I tell him not to speak to me. He tells me that hes sorry and hes trying to end things on a ...
A. 22 September 2013: Btw, in case people think I condone the OP's behaviour, I'm not. Yes, the reaction is childish, but she's young. We all acted that way when we were her age. But never the less such a reaction doesn't come from nothing. Even if it wasn't clear from ... (read in full...)
I ruined his birthday, but is it justified because his friendship with his ex was out of line.
Q. I'm talking to this guy and every now and then he goes and hangs out with his ex girlfriend. He knows that I don't like it at all because when hes with her I tell him not to speak to me. He tells me that hes sorry and hes trying to end things on a ...
A. 22 September 2013: Young Americans are the only people I've ever heard of who were so self righteous about "their day". You didn't ruin his birthday, and his birthday is just as special as any other day. You are right to be honest and upset at him when he does things ... (read in full...)
He would make plans with me, then disappear and turn off his cell.
Q. hello I have a guy friend.he met me once. he would always make plans with me. but he wouldnt turn up on the day we make plans. Its always he who makes the plans. but finally when i call him on the day he made the plan his cell is off. goes direct...
A. 22 September 2013: He does it because he doesn't care if he meets you or not. You're just not that important. But he wont tell you to your face, so he keeps saying he would like to meet you, instead of just being honest.
Stop making plans with him unless this is ... (read in full...)
Why do guys like to do this in sex?
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy for 6 months now. When we make love I am very satisfied however he enjoys masturbating onto my face or into my mouth. I just don't get it. Why do guys think this is so great?...
A. 21 September 2013: Eh, you add whatever meaning to it that you want. Plenty of guys like a finger up their butt, but if it came out in public everyone would say it means they're gay.
Same goes for this being degrading to women. It's only degrading if the parties ... (read in full...)
URGENT adivce: is this too weird or should I just leave it?
Q. So the story, I need your honest opinion- I know its long, but you need to understand the context if it all. We're in our mid 20s and have been studying together for the last year and a half. We're not friends but we're friendly- we have done gro...
A. 21 September 2013: You have to be direct, sorry. Guys can be REALLY dense when it comes to this. But there are several ways around it, the best way would be to make it seem like it was all his idea.
"Hey -insert name-, it was great seeing you -insert day you last... (read in full...)
Why do guys like to do this in sex?
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy for 6 months now. When we make love I am very satisfied however he enjoys masturbating onto my face or into my mouth. I just don't get it. Why do guys think this is so great?...
A. 21 September 2013: I never had a boyfriend who liked/wanted to try this. So my guess is your boyfriend has been watching a lot of porn. This is what they do in porn. And people in general like to try out the things they've seen others do. Same with me, I've seen this ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's mother is dying and says he is letting me go.
Q. so my recent boyfriend of the last two months told me that he thinks i should move on because he has a lot going on right now with his mom's failing health. I don't mind being there for him regardless of how much he has going on. What should I do? ...
A. 21 September 2013: He's pulling back and letting go for his OWN sake, not for your sake. He doesn't need another person to think of and care for, he's obviously got enough with himself right now. But for whatever reasons, he is the one who doesn't want you to be his ... (read in full...)
I am scared to leave him after he said that he would kill himself.
Q. im in need of advice. i been with a guy for over 6 years and is been a roller coaster, i sometimes was happy sometimes wasnt, we dont live together but that was the plan to move in together, we met in new york but his choice of living was florida ...
A. 21 September 2013: If you take his threat seriously and actually think he might commit suicide then contact the police and alert them. That's what you do. You don't stay in a relationship with someone who tells you they will kill themselves. You end such a ... (read in full...)
Need more money making options after maternity leave.
Q. I have had a wonderful 9 month's off work with my beautiful baby and in 8 weeks my maternity leave ends and I have to go back to work. Before my daughter came along I enjoyed work but now I feel so depressed about it that every time I think about it ...
A. 21 September 2013: Wow, so in your country fostering brings in just as much money as the 12 hour shifts you said you had to take? Or how many kids would you need to foster to get enough money? How many "in and out" siblings will you give your daughter in HER best ... (read in full...)
URGENT adivce: is this too weird or should I just leave it?
Q. So the story, I need your honest opinion- I know its long, but you need to understand the context if it all. We're in our mid 20s and have been studying together for the last year and a half. We're not friends but we're friendly- we have done gro...
A. 21 September 2013: You arent putting anyything "out there" unless you stop hinting and say it directly. Only players can read a hint, normal guys need girls to be more direct. Ask him if he would like to meet you and suggest a time. And since hes not big on fb, ask ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
