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We're having sex, he has another girl and I have feelings and a third girl is spreading nasty rumours.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Friends, Sex, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 April 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 4 June 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

This is a little bit long winded so i do apologise in advance.

I went to the pub one with my friend and she introduced me to one of her guy friends and kept teasing us both that we are both single. That night i plucked up the courage to message him and we hit it off like fire. We started getting close and spent most of our days together in which my friend started to get jealous almost. She then had been messaging both me and this boy asking where we were and if we were together in which we told her the truth that yes we were together that night and just went for a stroll along the river. The next day i arrived at the pub with another friend of mine to get a long message from the boy saying that my so called 'friend' had spread rumours around his work that we had slept together that night, which was completely wrong ill admit it. I tried not to think about it too much until the next day when my friend has messaged me saying that she was infact 'seeing' this boy (which is not true) and fancied him so when she saw how close i was getting with him she got upset and all that. We talked it out and were fine after however the guy is no longer in contact with her as hes mad at how she spred the rumours etc.

About a week had past and i was still really close with both of them. I did end up sleeping with the guy which i have no problem with and nether does he. My friend started to become obsessed and started stalking where we both went. It got so bad that she showed up to the pub where i was with my friends and the guy and just sat with us and joined us. SHe later left as it was a very awkward situation.

Recently i have just found out that she has spread nasty rumours about me to my friends and old work pals and i feel like they have all turned on me and its not fair as it isnt any of their business.

Aswell as that situation i slept with the guy again and he told me that he was seeing someone else. When we started having sex together we did promise each other that we would only do this if there was no feelings between us, which there wasnt at the time. However, now that i seen him with this other girl ive started to catch feelings and feel lonely when hesnot with me as ive lost all my other 'friends' due to these rumours.

Ive gotten to the point where i just dont know what to do anymore.

View related questions: jealous, stalking, teasing

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A female reader, Mystrijaded86 Australia +, writes (4 June 2018):

Mystrijaded86 agony auntThese people will bring nothing beneficial to your life now or in the future and your much better off without either of them.

Your female pal especially is a concern she sounds to me like a very insecure malicious individual so steer very clear and always be wary of her motives in the future.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 April 2018):

Honeypie agony auntCut then BOTH out of your life.

He is a cheat (who probably wasn't as "single" as he claimed when you met) He is done with the drama.

Your friends (true friends) won't judge you without talking to you over some lame rumor.

So give it a little time and then talk to your friends (not THAT girl - the one you who started all the drama and not him). It won't be long before there is something else going on that has people talking.

And OP, don't have casual sex. It's not worth it.

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