A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunts. I had sex without protection with some guy a month ago. Before we had sex he told me that he loves me so i just went with the flow. The next morning he bought(he is working) me morning after pill to prevent the chances of me getting pregnant. Then i had some of pregnancy symptoms after that like nuasea and no periods. I told him and he was supportive saying we will get through it together no matter what. I believed him but i wanted to know so bad if i was pregnant or not so i went to the doctor they took me blood test and it came negative. I call and told him we were both relieved but then he started to show less interest in me. He would call after 2 days or text me in the morning just to say hi but not like he used to before we slept together. After a week i asked to see him he told me that it seems like dating me is a hard job that i demand a lot from him. I asked him if he wants to be with me he said yes then i asked him if he could come lastnight he said he would come. I waited on him at my place where we were suppose to meet he never showed up. Then he calls me at 10pm to tell me that he has many girlfriends and two kids two baby mamas, so he wants to spend time with one of his baby mama. I wrote him two long texts to tell him he can go plus he does not deserve my love. So now i feel like an idiot for trusting that guy. I thought he is a nice guy, i thought he was special because he said he would pray for me when i felt pain and the pain would go away. He prayed for other people too. I loved that i never thought he would dump me like that im hurt how do i handle this? Im in the middle of my univesity exams i cant concentrate. Help
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male
reader, WickedPoet  +, writes (6 June 2016):
 To me the important part of your message is the conclusion. Your exams are more important at this point than any guy is. That should be your focus as it will strengthen your chances of doing well and has the added bonus of crowding out these negative thoughts you are having because of what happened. The boy (and rest assured he is just a boy) is obviously irresponsible and is just trouble for any woman right now. You are extremely lucky to not be dealing with a pregnancy or an STD. Let him go and be glad you dodged a bullet. It was just a mistake brought on by the combination of a lot of things going on in your life. When you work through what matters to you and what you want you will attract a different kind of guy. I will apologize on behalf of that guy. We are not all like that. You deserve to be respected, emotionally supported and treated fairly. You were not here. Now open those books and get to work. The future is calling and you can make it bright for you. Then better guys will come into your life. Good luck on your tests.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 June 2016):
 Think of it this way, OP
AT least you are NOT one of his baby-mommas! A guy who doesn't BOTHER to use protection when having sex and CARES so little for the woman that he think taking a Plan B is like taking vitamins.... He really IS NOT worthy of your love, emotion or affections.
The symptoms you felt were not pregnancy symptoms, but the pill making your body shed the lining of your uterus thus preventing a fertilized egg from implanting. These pills should NOT be eaten like candy. Buying & using condoms (and that goes for both men and women) are a MUCH better idea. I think a guy who already HAS kids with women he isn't married too who is THIS careless is someone to avoid.
Guys like him are a dime a dozen.
Someone saying I love you, isn't a given that they ACTUALLY do love you and WANT to be with you. You need to go SLOW when meeting guys, get to know them well, know that they MEAN what they say. That their actions match their words.
And maybe you need to consider getting on birth-control (yet still use condoms) - because it IS naive of you to think that because he prayed for you and he said " I love you" that having unprotected sex is a good idea.
You need to think before you act.
Learn from this mistake (and yes I will call that guy a mistakes) and next time... do better. That is really all you can do.
And DO well in school, don't let some guy ruin YOUR future.
...............................
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