A
female
age
22-25,
*bigail221
writes:the guy that i've had a crush on finally asked me out, we've been dating for almost a week. and i think he's cheating on me. he's been texting my friend ******** and she's always getting him horny. at first, she said she was happy for us both because we really like each other, probably love each other. but now she's saying that i'm creating drama and she's jealous. i've also found out that he "loves" her, and "misses" her and "wants to be with" her. he isn't the player type, and i know he loves me. but he keeps texting her. she is saying i start all the drama but she's the one who is getting him to cheat on me. all i'm wondering is...why is she doing this to me, to my boyfriend, and to herself?
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crush, horny, jealous, player, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2012): He's lying to you. Dump him. He will only continue to lie to you.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (29 March 2012):
 Teenage drama, that's all this is, teenage drama.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 March 2012):
 Everybody makes their own luck. If you chose to believe to such a blatant bunch of crap, there's no lucky charm that can help you.
I used to work for a suicide prevention organization and hotline, and when you deal with suicide and self-harm threats , the most ethical, normal and natural response is NOT to romance the person in distress, or to sext them. If you take the threat seriously, you refer them to a doctor or counselor, and/ or warn their parents, you don't carry on a sexting fling with them . Talk about " sexual healing " ! Your so called b/f is either a liar , or an idiot, or both, and if you are willing to settle for a guy who's already cheating on you in the first week of your " relationship ", then you are MAKING your own bad luck.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (29 March 2012):
 I wonder, who told you that? Who told you that he was only talking her down from suicide? Did she tell you? Or did he?
That sounds like a bunch of bologna to me. But even if it is true, he made an explicit choice to say "I love you, I miss you, I want to be with you". And besides, was she really trying to commit suicide, why didn't he tell you - her friend, so that you could help? Why didn't he take the threat seriously and turn her towards a hotline, counselor or parent? Instead, he tries to get into her pants?
He is going to keep breaking your heart. Don't let him take advantage of your trust!!
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A
female
reader, Abigail221 +, writes (29 March 2012):
Abigail221 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've currently found out that my "friend" is being very jealous and rude, and my boyfriend was on;y saying that so that she wouldn't kill herself.
Background info: she's done tried to do it before. I forgive him slightly, and we're still together, but i have a feeling he's going to keep breaking my heart. wish me luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): He is a player,and you have only been dating him for a while,you dont know the guy well , and your "best friend".. well i hope she is a friend after all..cause this is not what best friends do.. im 17 and i tell you,if he really was into you he wouldnt have done that .. and if she was really a close friend she wouldnt have done that either, so right here youre involved with both wrong people. So back off shit cause theyre both wrong,face them together and let them know that they cant fool you. Its a shame theyre doing this to you..
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (28 March 2012):
She isn't doing anything to you, aside from being a lousy friend. But she's single - she's not committing a crime. Your BOYFRIEND is the one who is the screw up! He's committed to you! He should be able to resist advances, no matter who they're coming from. If he was more loyal to you, he wouldn't be messing with her, despite her trying to "get him horny". He's the one saying he misses her, he loves her, he wants to be with her... that makes him the criminal. She didn't force him to say those things, he said it because he wants to get into her pants.
Drop your scumbag boyfriend and don't shift all the blame to a (albeit terrible) friend.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 March 2012):
 *She* isn't doing anything to you. Focus everything on your crush. He keeps texting her. He IS the player type if he's saying anything to this girl besides "BACK OFF". He wouldn't get horny unless he wanted to be so.
She's interested in your your crush and will use dirty tactics to get him. But your crush likes the two of you fighting over him because it's good for his ego. Do you really want that sort of playing?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 March 2012):
Because she's 13 - 15 years old.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): Hi Abigail221 - although I have no doubt you are feeling powerful emotions, I can assure you that you do not love your boyfriend and he does not love you. Not after a week - simply doesn't happen - only in the movies - trust me!Your friend is not behaving well and you should tell her that. You should tell your VERY NEW boyfriend the same.Your every instinct is telling you that their behavior is wrong, or you wouldn't have contacted DearCupid. So, very important life lesson here Abigail221, which I think you have already realized - ALWAYS trust your instincts.You deserve to have good, loyal, honest people in your life - your friend and your boyfriend are not behaving like good, loyal, honest people. Find another friend. Don't be in too much of a rush to find another boyfriend tho' because, to be honest with you, your friends will stay around for longer and (usually!) bring more joy into your life with less strings attached. Hope you make the right decisions, Abigail221! Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): Nobody can make anyone cheat who doesn't want to cheat. You ahve been dating a week, that is way too fast to be saying that it is love.
he isn't the player type
Yes he is, he is cheating on you telling your friend he loves her, misses her and wants to be with her. So he is playing someone here, that makes him a player.
she's the one who is getting him to cheat on me.
Did she put a gun to his head and told him she would kill him if he didn't cheat with her? No so she hasn't made him do anything, he has decided for himself to cheat on you.
If he loved you, he wouldn't cheat on you, if he respected you he wouldn't cheat on you. I know you don't want to hear this but he has made his decision to act in this manner, and no matter how you try to justify him or explain why he isn't to blame the fact is HE is to blame. I am not saying she is not wrong for doing what she has been doing, she is wrong, but he is the one who started a relationship with you, he is the one who is in the relationship so if he is cheating he is responsible for his actions. The best advice I can give you is walk away from them both and realise he is a player. I know it hurts but you will only get hurt worse if you continue a relationship with him.
As for why is she doing this, because she can and he is letting her. My question is why are you letting both of them do this to you?
Good Luck
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