A
male
age
41-50,
*oodmanlost
writes:ive been in a relationship with a girl for 5 years. we live together, we're not married and have one child(10 months) together, and two more that she had in a previous relationship(8 and 4), that i now care for. i fell out of love with her a while ago but stayed in the relationship because of the kids.I do truly love her but im not "in" love. well i just found out my girlfriend who is 26 cheated on me with a 54 year old married man! i read emails where they were in love and they had sex and sent naked pics back and forth. there were thousands of texts between them in 3 months. they called each other boo and sent love and sex songs back and forth.well i approached her about it and she said she made a huge mistake and she wasnt in love and him being 54 disgusted her and she did it because i wasnt making her feel special and he pressured her. i just want advice on what to do from here. i didnt ask her to marry me and wasn't in love but i didnt cheat on her and took care of her. now i dont want to lose her but at the same time i think i should leave. please help! i know i need it!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dangerously Enthusiastic.  +, writes (18 December 2012):
 I don't know if I'm just miss reading it but if you've been with her for 5 years yet she has a 4 year old from a previous relationship, does this mean she cheated on you?
Anways, I think It's best if you move on. There might
be too much water under the bridge. Will you ever trust her again or will you always be hunting for something? Make sure your child and step children are ok during this situation.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (18 December 2012):
If you stay you are a fool.
Also, please get married before children next time. Nothing religious, its just better to have commitment to each other before needed to jointly commit to a child.
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A
male
reader, goodmanlost +, writes (18 December 2012):
goodmanlost is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for the answers. they were helpful. my heart is broken because the relationship she had with this 54 year old man was more than she and i ever had in 5 years even when we started, so i was and still am jealous. but i know this man and he knows who i am. he is not even handsome. she even put him down. if she did with and to me all she did with and to him id never be here. but thanks youve helped me get a little closer to what i should do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): There is no relationship, and has not been for a while. You dont love her and clearly she does not love you. This relationship has run its cause and its at the end of the road. I recommend you end things and you and this woman should find people that can truly love yourll and want to commit.
A child is no excuse to stay together as the child deserves a stable relationship rather than a coexistance relationship.
It is a good possibility that you both will stray from this "relationship" as your needs are not being met.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (18 December 2012):
You certainly shouldn't stay if it's going to be the same old relationship. You have to decide that you want to make things better. I don't blame her for cheating, even though it's wrong as she obviously needs affection and attention just like most people.
If you have no interest in strengthening your relationship it's time to end it even with kids. Just try to make it a good break-up for their sake.
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