A
male
age
30-35,
*nddenial
writes:ok so my fiance and I have been dating nearly a year and we've been friends almost like 2 years. We've had ups and downs but for the most part it's been great She's my better half and I love her. Hell she's my fiancé! Anyways she shows me and tells me she loves me I don't doubt it or anything and the sex is great. The problem is that I've always caught her talking or flirting with guys. She told me that it wasn't serious and she only did it when we were into it. Not really a big deal I saw the messages and it wasn't anything serious but I'm a very prideful guy I believe in honesty and loyalty above everything and I told her this since the beginning. I've also caught her in a few lies...anyway last week my phone broke and I was phoneless till Thursday and so I only text her like 2 or 3 times a day those days....anyway on Thursday when I got my phone she ignored me all day and night I finally text saying that I was assuming she's breaking up and she still ignored me so I go confront her and turns out she was out with her friends and later admitted that she talked to one of the same guys I caught her flirting before and also caught her in a lie when I found out she had history with him. Well I proposed 2 months ago and told her that anything like that as my fiancé would result in a break up because marriage is more serious or whatever...and she did it...Also all of Thursday and most of Friday she was being a nasty like she didn't care and and it was all my fault because I'm so controlling and have a strong attitude what she didn't know is the whole time I had a surprise planned (which is ruined) I finally told her and she completely changed her attitude and started apologizing...I mean this engagement was a really big deal and I feel betrayed and I'm not sure i can be serious anymore what should I do I mean I was crushed and heartbroken and I love her with everything but this is unexeptable to me I kind of suspect now that she cheated I'm stuck at crossroads.I don't know what to do! if I do break up how do I do it? And how do I break up with someone you love and can't stand to be without??? Or do I just let it go and this happen over and over?????
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 March 2013):
 I'm a big fan of waiting for turbulent times like this (what you describe) to play out before proceeding any.
If you cannot reconcile and be comfortable with the way(s) that this girl is acting toward you, then, ultimately, you and she may part ways...
IF, she really is in to you and wants to be your wife/partner.... then she will decide that she has to show that... in the manner(s) that you've told her you expect.
HOW things go for the next 6 months may well tell you that one of those paragraphs (above) applies....
SO, what's six months????
Good luck....
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (30 March 2013):
Call of the engagement and work on your issues with her before you decide to go for the long run. You invested all this time with her already anyway, what is a couple more months or weeks to see where things go.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (30 March 2013):
 First you talk about how great she is then you start accusing her of lying and cheating... Which is it? Either you love her and trust her or you don't. To be honest you come across as very controlling and a little to immature to be getting married. If you love her treat her with the respect she deserves. There is nothing wrong with her talking to and flirting with guys that's harmless! As long as she doesn't do anything - so do you have evidence she has cheated?
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