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He lied to me about being married and now I feel wrecked!

Tagged as: Cheating, Family, Friends, Marriage problems, Sex, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 February 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 26 February 2014)
A female Saint Lucia age 30-35, *limtrim107 writes:

Hi, I met this guy who seemed to b really nice he treated me pretty well I don't know he was a married man, we had sex a couple of times but within 3 months he felt like he needed some space to study about a month, I felt hurt like i was gonna a lose him, he told me he was single and that he was n officer and had slot of work to do, I gave him his space though after I started missing him I messaged him eveeyday but he dint reply so I asked my friend to add him on whatsapp to see if its just me he's ignoring, so she did,he spoke to her nice told her that he is single and and is n accountant, right away I felt like I have been lied to I didn't know the truth. So I got really angry and tell him off I argued slot n cried to he never responded, the guy never had to study he lied about where he lived his job and everything there is I soon moved on n forgot about him .after a while I got back in contact with him and We had sex I still had feelings for him.bbut then he cut his neck trying to tell me the truth he told me that his girl friend is n officer Honestly I still didn't know he was married. I went on FB and searched his name and I got him with his wife .they had a pic at their wedding. I feel used and betrayed I never wanted to ever b with a married man I so got to know that he is a pastor at a church and is not n officer nor n accountant, he was a Butler at a hotel. He lied about everything, I was left hurt emotionally bruised,o need him to know that I kno the truth I want him to apologize to me upfront I'm not sure water to do plzz help?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 February 2014):

Honeypie agony auntSorry, from reading your post it seemed liked you had sex AFTER finding out. Either way the dude is bad news and will waste your time and feelings.

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A female reader, slimtrim107 Saint Lucia +, writes (26 February 2014):

slimtrim107 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I found out that he was married after having sex with him the last time honeypie not after I got to know,than for the advice guys well appreciated.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (24 February 2014):

Honeypie agony auntCUT him out of your life, WHY on EARTH did you get back in touch after you ALREADY knew he was married? THAT is not OK, you should have told him to go fly a kite or jump in a lake - instead you SLEPT with him? WHY? You thought he would leave his wife?

Don't play the victim. You made a choice to sleep with him even AFTER you knew he was married.

I would also tell your friend to delete him.

He sounds like a loser. Don't let a loser USE you.

By the way, Why does he owe you an apology? The one he OWES an apology to, is his WIFE.

JUST cut him out of your life 100% and next time you met a guy, look around a little (like on Facebook) met his friends and family BEFORE having sex. That way you won't repeat the same mistake over and over.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (24 February 2014):

YouWish agony auntYou found out that he lied and tried to pick up your friend, and you STILL had sex with him after knowing this???

Now he's a student, officer, accountant, a Pastor (God help us all) and a butler? I'm guessing he's unemployed.

At what point does any of this become your fault as well as his? Block him and never see him again! You have to get rid of him. No more sex. No more obsession. You already know he's a fake, so what more is there to say? If you have sex with him again after finding out he's MARRIED, then that is all on you! Having sex with him after finding out that everything about him is a sham is on you too. You can't be a victim if you go into it with eyes open. You could when you didn't know any better. THEN, you were a victim. Now, you have full knowledge.

So have nothing more to do with him! Sex is just sex. There are many other truly single guys out there, and a 10-minute sex session isn't worth throwing your life away for.

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