A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:now being a freshan in high school, dating is fairly useless. I like this girl and we are great friends, so i decided i wanted to date her. i have given her gifts, hugged her, and put my arm around her all in order to get her to like me a little more. recently she said when she dates she gets bored within a week, and she doesn't really trust men. but the thing is that i often catch her smiling at me or saying im her best guy friend. so my question is: does she like me or not? or am i just doing something wrong? answers appriciated!
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (24 February 2014):
 You need to slow down there lover-boy. Don't FORCE yourself on a girl, putting your ARM around her and giving her gift is not the way to go with a girl.
Don't GIVE gifts to MAKE her like you, because that means the GIFT comes with a "string attached". Tit for tat (an equivalent given in return)is not right. Giving someone a gift doesn't mean they now OWE you something, such as attention, a gift or FEELINGS. OK?
If she says she doesn't trust men, I would take it with a grain of salt, given her age. Because (no offense) you are NOT a man yet. It might just mean that she isn't READY to date, isn't interested in DATING you or any boy right now. And you know what? THAT is OK. She has already told you she isn't into dating.
Instead of trying to FORCE the issue of you LIKING her, why not just be a friend to her?
No more gifts, no more hugs, no more arm around her. Now at some point in time, YOU will find a girl who WANTS a boyfriend. And if SHE is OK with it, you can HUG her and put your arm around her, hold her hand and give her gifts, but NEVER force it on a girl. And NEVER give a gift expecting something in return. (tit for tat).
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 February 2014):
 You're not doing anything wrong! However, her "I don't trust men" may be her 13-15 year old way of telling you that she doesn't have feelings for you like that, which goes hand in hand with saying you're her "best friend", which reinforces you in the friend zone.
Just back off a bit with the putting arms around her, no more gifts, and consider that she may not be the one for you. Or, if you're brave, instead of trying to get her to like you more, tell her up front that you like her as more than a friend, and does she feel the same about you specifically? It'll either be yes or no.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (24 February 2014):
 Get you a little more??
What more are you talking about? If she is in the 13-15 age range like you, really she's still a kid and maybe she isn't ready for a relationship and maybe she feels uncomfortable with the pressure you are giving her with the gifts and the touching an all.
'She doesn't really trust men?' that is quite a statement from a young girl and you have no idea why that is and you have no right to know.
I am sure she likes you as a school friend and there is nothing more than that, but if a girl is holding back or saying no 'to more'...seriously, you need to listen.
Be a friend, hang out, but stop putting your hands on her and buying her stuff...she isn't ready.
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