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... Send *ine a private message | | | *ine's profile:hiya all! well my name is Tine and im from Belfast, in Northern Ireland... the place isnt exactly the best place in the world, with all the trouble but its where i call home. I'm 23 and unfortunately i don't know it all, however i've had enough experiences to make me the person i am today. I've had my heart broken on several occasions, and i'm sure i've broke hearts myself - no1 is perfect!
The one thing that makes me happy is seeing others around me happy too and i feel that my work is never done unless i know absolutely everyone around me is feeling 100%.. what kind of person would you be to let all those around you fall down?? At the minute i am working full time but also at college studying to be a Social worker, not just for kids though, for the elderly also, i have a lot of time for them.
I absolutely love giving people advice on anything really and i do admitt that i don't know everything, nobody does but as the days go by i learn more and more and as i learn i pass that knowledge on to others and it gives me a buzz to know that i have made someones life better, even if its just by the slightest bit!! Also one quality that i have that my friends love is that im honest and straight talking, if you ask me a question the only way i know how to answer it is honestly. And i find that i am the one my friends and family come to first for advice. so hopefully that should help you lot out there!! |
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17 years together and I feel lonely and like he wants something else...
Q. I have been with my partner for nearly 17 years. He has allways been flirty, but in the last few years he has been going down to our local and talks to the bar staff. If I asked to go with him I am usually sat there on a bar stool watching him. ...
A. 1 September 2006: i think you should stay, 17 years is an awful long time and it does only sound as though your partner is only trying to go out and do different things. You should trust him and go along with his decisions to get out of the house and do differnt ... (read in full...)
Ive turned into some who doesnt care about anything since she left me...
Q. i have just broken up with my girlfriend and i realy loved her. she messed with my mind and now i have turned into a person that dosent care anymore about life or anything. how am i supose to get over her? ...
A. 31 August 2006: there is no straight answer or way to actually getting over someone, it'll come naturally however sitting around doing nothing will do you absolutely no good. All you'll be doing is thinking of what went wrong and how you can turn back time. You ... (read in full...)
I said no to his mate but my ex still fell out with us both!
Q. Im Confused. Please help me. I went out with a guy.. lets call him george, and after two weeks i ended it because i had loads on my mind, then a few week later his mate asked me out, i said no, but despite this, my ex fell out with me and his mate. ...
A. 31 August 2006: well all you can do is ask him why he is faling out with you when you havent done anything wrong, infact surely you did the right thing here by saying no, shouldnt he be feeling happy?? Maybe he is just jealous that his friend is showing an interest ... (read in full...)
I feel rejected and alone...can anyone help help me
Q. im having a really hard life at the moment. My brothers are leaving home to travel for a year, i will miss them so so much. To top it im moving schools and everyone has already forgotten about me :( i feel so rejected and alone and no one ...
A. 25 August 2006: nobody will have forgotten about you, they are probably just giving you time to settle into your new school and then they will try and contact you, however if you feel that strongly about it then y not contact your friends first? im sure you will ... (read in full...)
He suddenly asked if I would be ready for a baby ? He doesnt know im still a virgin!!!!
Q. Hi, I have been seeing my b/f for 5 months.He told me he loved me 4 months into the relationship. We have not been 'intimate' yet, shall we say and I realy want to but the thing is he does'nt know I am a virgin.(He isn't) Anyway.... Yesterday i...
A. 25 August 2006: you shouldnt feel pressurized into doing something that you dont as though your ready for doing! If your not ready to have sex then just simply tell him that you dont feel ready yet and would he mind leaving it for another while. as for haivng ... (read in full...)
Are all men really only after one thing ?
Q. Hi. are all men after one thing? I'm a youg 27 odd year old and I'm too afraid to sleep with a guy for the simple fact that they are using me. My father brought me up to believe all men were after one thing. from learning this I don't plan on let...
A. 25 August 2006: well not all guys are like that however it is very hard to spot a good guy from the bad guy the first time you meet sum1. However whenever you start into a relationship you dont have to have sex straight away and by takin gthings slow at teh start ... (read in full...)
Why so many arguments?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. We love each other very much but lately we keep arguing, I dont know what to do?...
A. 25 August 2006: do you think that maybe you are spending far too much time with your boyfriend?? if so then i think that its because you are with each other too much to have something to talk about. if you are with someone too much then you wont have anything ... (read in full...)
All she goes on about is work work work.....
Q. I know this might sound a bit petty but when i see my partner she constantly talks about work its like i ask how was your day and then i get a full run down off her working day.But it dont stop there its almost the topic of conversation and when i ...
A. 25 August 2006: maybe she just feels as though work is a huge part of her day and she wants to share it with you because you have been apart. If you hate it that much dont ask her about how her day was, try telling her a bit about yours or even just steer off the ... (read in full...)
Since we have lived together we argue, and its stressing mum out!
Q. I feel really stuck at the moment. Im with my boyfriend who ive been living with for the last 5 months or so. We have never stopped arguing since that point and i know we need space to clear the atmosphere and have time doing things apart, bu...
A. 25 August 2006: Living together is hard work, your living in each others pockets day in and day out so its hard for there not to be arguments. First of all id ask why your boyfriend doesnt have a job? Is he unable to work? If so then is there not some hobby that he ... (read in full...)
The dreaded ex!!
Q. she dumped me 11 months ago for her married boss with 3 kids and i was devestated. Now im trying my best to move on but she keeps texting me virtually every week and finding any excuse to try and strike up some sort of conversation between us,i have ...
A. 23 August 2006: your just right it isnt good for you, im starting to wonder myself has she really regretted the decision she once made. If she has then she probably thinks that you will take her back if she continues to show an interest in you. If you are nearly ... (read in full...)
I told my boyfriend that I wasnt excited about our relationship anymore, now hes very distant and I regret it... Please help!!
Q. Dear Cupid, I recently made the mistake of spilling some feelings I had to my boyfriend. What was going on was, since we've been together for quite awhile, I was feeling a little bored with our relationship and not very excited anymore and I told h...
A. 23 August 2006: by letting him know that you werent hapy then it has obviously made him feel that it has been his fault and that is why he is acting like this. You should try to get the excitement back never mind going back on what you said. It was how you felt at ... (read in full...)
I can't get my girlfriends past sex life out my head
Q. Hi - hope you can help. Have been going out with my girlfriend for 5 months and just found out that she has been a lot more sexually active than I - sleeping with at least 14 different partners (she is 32). I think this is a lot personally, I am ...
A. 22 August 2006: i think that your girlfriend just wanted to be truthful with you about her past and i think that you should be grateful to her for being so honest. by regretting her telling you this will not only encourage her to keep her past to herself from now ... (read in full...)
Would I now be referred to as a tart!?
Q. I met this boy who i was talking to for a couple of weeks and went to his house and we was talking to each other. We started kissing for hours, then he fingered me. Am i a tart? ...
A. 22 August 2006: being honest no i wouldnt personallt classify you as a tart, its not as if you had just met the guy that night. You had been talking to him for a while and whatever happened that night between you two is your business and nobody elses. I wouldnt ... (read in full...)
She left and said she doesnt trust me and isnt sure she wants to be with me... what to do now ?
Q. For the past 6 months, my partner and i have been having difficulties. She left me a few days ago and moved back in to her parents', leaving the home we shared together. she says she no longer trusts me and isn't sure she wants to be with me, but ...
A. 22 August 2006: why is it that she doesnt trust you?? did you do something to break her trust?? Maybe she is just sick of all the difficulties that you have been having recently and has wanted to move back in with her parents to give herself some time to get over ... (read in full...)
I'm trapped! If I dump my bf of 3 years, my family will be devastated! What can I do?
Q. I feel so desperate i dont know where to turn. I have been wanting to end things with my boyfriend of 3 years (who lives with me) for a few months now, and normally i wouldnt hesitate, as i know i will be fine on my own, but he has made himself ...
A. 22 August 2006: well yu cant stay in this relationship for the sake of your family, it is you who needs to be happy not your family. It is YOU who will have to go in this relationship unhappy and it'll not be fair on you. However it is great that you are thinking ... (read in full...)
I don't want to have sex with my bf! He wants it and I am scared he will hurt me if I turn him down! Please help me!
Q. hi, im 16 and im going out with a boy, but he wants sex and i dont want to i want to wait until im 20 or even marriage but he keeps pushing me into it and im suppose to see him tommorow and night and do it but i don't want to, i can't tell him beca...
A. 22 August 2006: no i dont think that you shouldhave sex with h im at all. First of all a guy who slaps a girl is nothing but a coward. Second of all if he treats you so bad then he definately doesnt deserve your body. I think it s time you should stand up to him ... (read in full...)
After 2 and 1/2 years, she dumped me ..today. I am devastated...Need help coping!
Q. my girlfriend of two and a half years just broke up with me today. she said she isn't in love with my anymore. i'm devistated and don't know how to cope with it. any suggestions, please?...
A. 22 August 2006: the one and only thing that i feel helps with breaking up with someone is for you not to sit around and be devastated all the time. Fair enough she was the love of your life however i know that life does go on. Sitting around thinking about it will ... (read in full...)
I lied about my age!!
Q. Hello, A few weeks ago I met a boy who I instantly got along with. He told me he was 18 and so I lied about my age and said i was 17, a year older as I'm actually 16. At the time I didn't think I would see him again, so i didn't think It would ca...
A. 22 August 2006: i done the same thing with an ex and being truthful you cant keep onto this secret for very long. Because it will always comeup and the further you let it drag on the more lies you will have to tell and someday it will all get on top of you and it ... (read in full...)
Is he flirting or just messing with my head? Help me-what should I do?
Q. How can I tell if a guy at works likes me. I think he flirts with me and we get on real well. Were both single but I dont want to make a move in case im reading the signs wrong then it will be uncomfortable working togther. Basically he talks to me ...
A. 22 August 2006: well how about when he says things like that then say something like "well we should go out one night and i'll wear it for you" just to see his reaction. Don't just come out with it outta the blue like but as you having a conversation and flirting ... (read in full...)
Does he want a casual relationship or a serious one? He keeps giving me mixed signals! What should I do?
Q. hi, im 18 and im seeing this guy who's 30 he has a daughter whos 8, he seems really caring but i dont know whether he wants a casual relationship or a serious relationship, and the thing is there is too much people that will get hurt if we are ...
A. 22 August 2006: sounds as though this guy is confused, he doesnt know what he wants. So why not ask him? you'll never find out his true feelings about what he wants and what he doesnt, if you dont ask him. and you can't keep being expected to know what these mixed ... (read in full...)
He's waiting on his ex gf to decide whether she wants him back...but I love him! What should I do?
Q. my husband left me and my two children around 8 months ago and I had a really difficult time until I met a guy in April. I have totally fell for this guy but have only seen him around once a week since we met as he works away. He has just come out ...
A. 22 August 2006: this guy sounds as though he is using you to a) pass the time in which he has to wait on his ex's reply and b) to take his mind off her. Think about it, if all he ever does is talk about her to you how do you think its gonna change if you were ... (read in full...)
Boyfriends mum is suss that we have had sex. Tell her?
Q. well me and my boyfriend had sex and his mum keeps makin hints as if she nos like the other day she was in the car with my boyfriend and she asked him if i was on the pill and if we were virgins we havnt told our parents and are scared to abit cos ...
A. 22 August 2006: well it sounds as though your boyfriends mum genuinely cares and i think that you might as well tell her to confirm her suspicions. If your boyfriend is straight with her from the beginning then he will be able to build more of a trust with his mum, ... (read in full...)
I was clingy and paranoid so she ended it with me but she said there is a second chance in the future!
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me for being clingy and paranoid every now and then, but i've stopped being clingy and paranoid now. After that I asked my her for a second chance to prove myself to her and she said that she DOES believe in second ...
A. 22 August 2006: i think you just need to give her the space and time that she wants, by doing this you are not just letting her get over the way you have got on but you are also giving her time to realise how good your relationship was before all the trouble ... (read in full...)
My ex knows I want her back, so why is she insisting on dating another guy?
Q. Hey, I am struggling with an ex-girlfriend who I want to start again with. A couple of days ago, she wanted to go back out with me again. When she brought it up to me, I told her I'd need a little more time to decide on it. The next day, she brou...
A. 21 August 2006: maybe you've kept her waiting for your answer for that long that she has thought that you were gonna say no, therefore she has went to someone else. Either that or she has been only to you just to see what you would say. i say you should tell her ... (read in full...)
We were in a committed gay relationship for 9 years but now he doesn't feel the same love for me...
Q. I am a gay male and have been in a committed relationship for the last 9 years. Even though I knew deep inside, my boyfriend just confirmed that he no longer feels the same love for me. He says we have grown apart and only considers me his best ...
A. 21 August 2006: i think that being in a long term relationship, like you have, both people within it have to keep the spirit alive in order to survive. having said that you have went for a couple of years now without that physical side of being together then it ... (read in full...)
An incident in my past makes me freeze up when my boyfriend talks about us having sex!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and lately he has started giving hints about when and if we should have sex. I freeze each time he mentions this because of what happened when I was 15. I have a sister who is 2 years older than (I'...
A. 21 August 2006: well if he loves you for you then he will accept your problems as well. Truth is that he may no think its as big of a deal as you think it is. The past is the past and if you both love each other then i dont see why you should let this get on top of ... (read in full...)
Ive taken two tests and they both say negative.. what should I do ?
Q. dear cupid, im having a bit of a problem,i am an female and my problem is i think i might be pregant. i have missed two periods well nearly three now. i have taken a pregancy test well two actually and both came back negative. what do ...
A. 17 August 2006: the d.i.y tests that you get in the chemist arent always accurate thats why they advise you to buy 3 of them. however i say that if you still havent had a period then you should visit the doctor because when they test you they take 2 tests so then ... (read in full...)
He left me for this other girl, came back to me, then left me for her again! Why?!
Q. Our relationship was so perfect and other couples were so envious because we were so good together. But one day when we went to a house party my boyfriend got chatting to this other girl and from then on our troubles started. I found out that he ...
A. 17 August 2006: i really do want to get over him so bad but it hurts that he is now living with this other girl and im stuck in the house that we made our home, alone. After 8 months i wouldve thought that i would have someone by now but i dont. I did used to be so ... (read in full...)
How do you tell a friend you've fallen in love with them without risking your friendship?
Q. How do you tell a friend you've fallen in love with them without risking your friendship? I'm too scared to say anything to a male friend of mine. We had feelings for each other since we were classmates in college, but I knew he was uncertain about ...
A. 17 August 2006: well either way like you have to let him know how you feel because if you dont you'll regret it for the rest of your life! You say that you send each other emails, how about emailing him and let him know all your true feelings right then and there. ... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty that I have to tell my bf I want to go and see my family? I fear he will flip out!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and I am ment to be going back to my home country [Australia] for Christmas this year. The trip will be about 5 weeks in total and im not sure how my boyfriend will react when i tell him. I havent ...
A. 17 August 2006: no you shouldnt be feeling guilty at all - this is your family you are talking about and by the sounds of it your boyfriend was just using you as an excuse when he met up with his ex. If he really missed you that much he wouldve been phoning you non ... (read in full...)
He had an affair and hasnt broken off contact with her, what should I do ?
Q. my husband has had a affair which I have forgiven but he cannot seem to break off contact with her, advice please....
A. 17 August 2006: doe she know that you know about this? truth id be absolutely livid if i were in your situation. You cannot carry on keeping this inside and you gotta let him know that for one you know and two you aint happy about it. If he had an affair with this ... (read in full...)
My good friends are backing away from me because I don't look that cool. What should I do?
Q. i have a bunch of really good friends at school..im 15 by the way. But recently we are not that close anymore and they dont really want to go anywhere with me..i think it is because they want me to look a bit "cooler" in public ..please help! ...
A. 17 August 2006: a good friend is not someone who judges u on the way you look or act, they should take you for who you are. If you not that close then i wouldnt be bothered, you shouldnt have to change who you are for people to like you because in the end you'll ... (read in full...)
We broke up and I still love her and am still sleeping with her!
Q. please ladies help me I going crazy. Me and my ex girlfriend were together 4 about a year. After 2 months of being broken up and no contact she called me out of the blue and we hung out one night and had sex with each other. It's been about a week ...
A. 16 August 2006: maybe she just likes the fact that you are at her beck and call whenever she wants a quickie. Truthfully i think that to avoid getting you heart broken and tramped on even more you should just walk away. She is playing with your emotions, by ... (read in full...)
Can we get back our sex life naturally ? or is it too late for us ?
Q. Im really concerned that there is no way back for me and my man. We have been together for 3 years are in our 30's and just lately all we do is argue over sex. I feel unwanted and not sexy and he says its me thats feeling that way and thats not ...
A. 16 August 2006: first of all it is never too late in a relationship to spice things up or even start a fresh. If he always saying that he is too tired then why not ttry it on in the morning? He hasnt an excuse then because he is just awake. There are endless things ... (read in full...)
Hes still seeing the ex and is VERY much in contact! Should I stay or walk away ?
Q. I have known my partner as a friend for 4 years. We became an item on New Years Eve then at the end of January he called it off to go back to his ex. he was back in feb and we gave it another go. We were happy and got engaged in June, then went ...
A. 16 August 2006: if you want to always be wondering whether or not he is still phoning texting and seeing this other woman then by all means stay with him. It sounds as though this guy wants to have his cake and eat it. There you are the love of his life who he ... (read in full...)
I'm on the pill, 3 weeks on 1 week off. Can I get pregnant having sex, on the week I don't take the pill?
Q. I'm on the pill to help with my painful periods but i am now also using it as contraception. With my pill you take it for 3 weeks then get a week off. What i want to know is if you have unprotected sex on that week off do you have the same chance of ...
A. 16 August 2006: yes! it is possible for you to get pregnant in the week that you dont take the pill so be extra careful, use other means of protection. Also in the first 2 weeks of taking the pill you are advised strongly to use other protection (even though you ... (read in full...)
After a year with my BF, I feel butterflies for someone at work!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for over a year now and recently iI'e made a new bunch friends at work who are great. I've been out with them a few times - there's one guy that really makes me smile and gives me butterflies when I think about him!! I ...
A. 16 August 2006: it seems as though the "honeymoon" period in your relationship is over and your wanting that spark back again, and feel that you can get it elsewhere with this person at work. Think about it, do you really want ot take things further with this ... (read in full...)
I feel second-choice to everything else in my girlfriend's life!
Q. In the last three days my girlfriend has been unfair, in my opinion. I was with her Monday evening and she got a phone call from her dad at half 9ish and she said she had to go home to see her cousin who she hadn't seen in a year and because ...
A. 16 August 2006: i feel that you are being a tad too selfish, your girfriend seems to have genuine reasons for not seeing you, and i think also that maybe she just wants a bit of space - could it be that you are wanting to be with her 24/7?? By not coming back at 2 ... (read in full...)
My gay best friend keeps trying to touch and kiss me! Is he bi?
Q. Okay, this is an embarassing question for me to ask because I really like to think that I know better. My best friend is a gay guy. He has sex with guys (quite often), but he has also told me he's curious about what it would be like to be with a g...
A. 16 August 2006: truthfully it sounds as though your friend is at that confused part of his life where he doesnt know what he is and by trying things on with you he thinks it will help him decide. I think your absolutely right not to take things further with him, ... (read in full...)
All people see are my FF breasts, they forget im a person!! How can I get people to see that im more than my boobs!
Q. I'm a girl, who i feel, is intellegent and has a great personality the problem is a men (and sometimes girls) don't seem to be able to get past the size of my chest. I am a natural FF cup and it really gets me down people automatically assume i'm a ...
A. 11 August 2006: you know what i am in exactly the same boat as you, dont you just wish that sometimes they would disappear so that people can find out about the real you. Lately i have been trying everything in the book but what i find mostly works is by not ... (read in full...)
Should I stay over my ex's house?
Q. I'm still speaking to my ex boyfriend and we've decided to remain friends but now, he's inviting me to spend the night at his house. I'm so confused, I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to stay because he's going through a rough time right ...
A. 8 August 2006: well if he is going through a rough time at the minute then stay with him to show him that you are a good friend to him however stay in a completely different room to him so that it wont be a case of the both of you waking up next to each other, ... (read in full...)
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