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female
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anonymous
writes: Okay, this is an embarassing question for me to ask because I really like to think that I know better. My best friend is a gay guy. He has sex with guys (quite often), but he has also told me he's curious about what it would be like to be with a girl although he would never do anything with anyone he knew because he wouldn't want to hurt them. He goes back and forth on the "bi question" first saying that no one is bi and then that everyone bi. He's flirty with me, which I know is completely normal for a gay guy to be with a girl and so I don't read into that. The thing is though that sometimes it goes past flirty. hen he is drinking he can get a little intense with me, he has tried to french kiss me, but I didn't kiss back. He has tried to kiss my chest, has grabbed my chest and butt, has (when drunk and I was sober) begged me to kiss him and when I said no and turned my cheek for him to kiss me he kept kissing me and trying to get to my mouth. He seems to want to be touching a lot of the time when we're sitting next to each other or sleeping. So I guess my question is could he be bi? I'm not sure if it's just wishful thinking on my part, becuase since he has started all of this I've realized that I can be sexually attracted to him. I just don't let anything happen because I don't want to ruin our close friendship. Opinions?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): P.S. It would be nice to get some responses from any gay guys out there who might have some good perspective on this.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): Well, the problem is that I'm not sure if he's actually bi, in fact I'm pretty sure that if I asked him if he was bi he would say no. And the thing is I would be inclined to believe him because (and I hate to say this because it makes me sound like a huge fag hag even though I hate that term) but three of his gay friends have tried to kiss me (and not just in a on the cheek or lips non-sexual way) as well. I don't think they're all bi. I'm just confused.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): You are merely experiencing the feelings of sexual excitement around this bi friend of yours. IF you just want a close friendship, not a sexual/ dating relationship then tell him that. I don't see what the problem is. If he is bi, he will always be a emotional and a health risk for you. Also, if you knowingly date and have sex with a bisexual man who seems to have a preference for males, don’t be shocked if he continues to keep acting on that preference. You may be setting yourself up for hurt. I say, keep him as a friend. Don't allow it to go any further.
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A
female
reader, Tine  +, writes (16 August 2006):
 truthfully it sounds as though your friend is at that confused part of his life where he doesnt know what he is and by trying things on with you he thinks it will help him decide. I think your absolutely right not to take things further with him, because of your friendship and also think about the consequences if you to do get together then he decides its not what he wants and by that time you will have become emotionally attached to him and you will be devastated. I say try asking him exactly what he hopes to achieve by trying it on with you and await for his answer.
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