My feelings died for him, will they come back?
Q. Hi all, Please, I need some advice. I have been in a relationship for 12 years, and am now 28. It has been a mistake from the start, but I did love him. He has spent alot of time critisizing me, bad mouthing my family friends, my ways, and tryi...
A. 13 February 2008: What is it you love, if it has been a mistake from the beginning it does not sound like it's worth salvaging. He can say the kind words and do the right things now that he is faced with the dilemma of being alone, but if he really loved you he would... (read in full...)
Obsessed or in love
Q. I've known a guy for about 9 years now, and I can't seem to get over the fact that I really do have feelings for him. He and I have been through a lot, he's even treated me like dirt. Not without reason, I will admit, I did do stupid things to ...
A. 13 February 2008: Did you ever really try in these relationships, was your friend still on the scene at this time? Do you actually love this guy for the qualities he possesses or do you love the idea of him? Perhaps it is the fact he has always been unattainable? Ev... (read in full...)
I finally got free.
Q. I finally broke up with my emotionally abusive ex. But why didn't I break up with him at the times where it was really ugly between us-like when he was being unreasonable and getting mad at me because I wouldn't smoke or get drunk (which I don't do ...
A. 13 February 2008: Maybe you felt so low when you were that unhappy that you just weren't strong enough to do it? Maybe you felt that you needed to help him through his behaviour, as much as it angered and upset you? Maybe you still had hope in him and thought it c... (read in full...)
What to do about telling my mum
Q. I am wondering if I should tell my mum about this new guy im dating. I am 18 years old and yes I know that since I am an adult I do not have to tell her, but it would be nice to be able to open up to her and have her blessing. And also my mum is ...
A. 13 February 2008: I think you should tell your mum, it sounds like you have a great understanding with her, plus it never hurts to have the perspective of someone who will be completely honest with you. I think it's very possible to do well in your studies while ma... (read in full...)
Have I ever had an orgasm?
Q. This is gonna sound weird but im not sure if ever had an orgasm... does this lack of certainty mean that ive actually never had it...?It feels great when we make love and sometimes I feel like thats almost it and im sooo close but there is sth ...
A. 13 February 2008: Definitely doesn't sound like you've had an orgasm. Masturbate, you will definitely get there and it will improve your sex with your boyfriend.... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to try and make this work again??
Q. I've recently started seeing someone for two weeks. It felt like we relly clicked and had alot in common. We spent alot of time together and opened up about our past to each other, including our past relationships. I found out he is a very insecure...
A. 13 February 2008: Doesn't seem like it's going to work at the moment.
You should have been honest about going out with guys at work, by lying about it you're suggesting you have something to hide.
You're also allowing him to project his past experience into you... (read in full...)
How do I move on from someone that had an affair with me?
Q. I just need some advice on how to move on.i was in a long distance relationship for nearly 2 years,with a guy who lives with his gf.i didnt know in the begining and only found out a few months into the relationship.he always said hes only there ...
A. 13 February 2008: The best revenge is nonchalance.
People only do nasty things when they still care.
If you plot something to get him back it will just consume you, and you will lower yourself to his level. Cliche, but it's true - do you want to be able to say that... (read in full...)
Now I'm ready for something real and I want it to be with one of these guys, should Ii bother waiting for either of them?
Q. I'm really discouraged with this love thing lately, there is one guy who we really have something going on the chemistry thing but he lives far away from me we talk occasionally but I really want to be with him on the other hand I really care about ...
A. 13 February 2008: Instead of looking for something, wait for someone. Jumping into a relationship just because it is something never works.... (read in full...)
I feel like I have made a fool of myself...and there is an age gap too...what should I do??
Q. Im 16 i have been talkin to this guy online; i added him on facebook. Anyway, his profile said 20 but i thought i'd add him anyway. Somehow theres been an error in my account and its been displaying me as 19. We got talking and really clicked....
A. 13 February 2008: I'm a 21 year old female, most of my male friends are about 23 as is my brother and I would be absolutely mortified if any of them were to go out with a 16 year old - the maturity level is very, very rarely the same.
Honestly I cannot imagine why ... (read in full...)
How can I stop feeling jealous of his gorgeous ex?
Q. I'm dealing with some stupid, irrational jealousy here... or envy, I don't know, I feel inferior compared to his ex even though I shouldn't! This guy says I'm his first love. He has endured several problems to be with me (actually he's jealous of ...
A. 12 February 2008: You are not better than her, just as she is no better than you! You are obviously much better suited to your boyfriend.
I've had my fair share of relationships with guys of various appearance, some absolutely gorgeous in the typical sense of the ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to go to the doctor?
Q. ok so here goes my b/f has like a knot on his arm he says it has been there for as long as he could remember i have tried to get him to go to the doctor but he wont how can i get him to go or what could it be...
A. 12 February 2008: Tell his mother! Hehe, well that's what would work with my boyfriend, though he would go if I asked him to anyway.
All you can do is express yourself as clearly as possible, tell him it would make you feel a lot better if he got it checked out to c... (read in full...)
I can't quit shaking when he's around
Q. Is it possible to have a very short relationship and connect on a level of intimacy that literally makes you shake (no, vibrate is more the correct word, i think), as soon as you are around that person? And I dont mean butterflies when you like ...
A. 12 February 2008: Things are new, it seems like an extension of the standard nerves and butterflies that most people get. I'm sure it's difficult but try not to think of it, it will fade when you become more comfortable around him.... (read in full...)
15 and wanting children
Q. hey guys im 15 years old and i really want children, i have a part time job in year 10. when im not working or going to school im watchen childrena and i have been since i was 8 years old id cook dinner clean the house. the ages i normaly whatch in ...
A. 12 February 2008: You are very young. If you really love children then you should want to do the very best for a child you have. It would be selfish to have one now just because you love kids when you're not equipped to handle it financially.
Finish school, stud... (read in full...)
After 5 years together my boyfriend is losing interest, what can I do?
Q. After 5 yrs together my boyfriend seems to have gone off me. I look the same and am the same person. We were so close once although we have had problems but now he says he no longer loves or fancies me but then at other times he shows me affection ...
A. 12 February 2008: "he says he no longer loves or fancies me but then at other times he shows me affection and initiates sex."
He says he no longer loves you, Just because he shows affection or initiates sex at other times does not contradict his statement of not l... (read in full...)
Shall I continue talking to this man?
Q. Hi, i registered for online dating 3 days ago and messaged a selection of guys my own age,(26) and got no response, and got messages from some unsuitable people. i was just about to write it off when i received a message from a guy who it said ...
A. 12 February 2008: Sometimes people don't come in the packaging we imagined they would, it's not bad just different. I think you should keep in contact with him.... (read in full...)
Why can't I seem to deal with her history?
Q. Hello everyone, i really need some help, i feel as though i'm losing my mind. My girl friend and i have been together for almost 3 years and i can't get over her sexual history.. She is 30 years old and we met on a one night stand. The following ...
A. 12 February 2008: Here is how I look at it, I'm with a guy that hasn't had any other partners and while on one hand it was nice for him to be experiencing it all for the first time with me, on the other hand I worry there might be that side of him that wants to ... (read in full...)
Why does my teacher treat me so horrible?
Q. Why does my teacher treat me so horribly Everything I do she picks up on and pulls me to shreds. Today she held the dinner queue for 5 minutes when there was only 4 of us left to go in because I was at the front she was going to let them in till...
A. 12 February 2008: Some people just shouldn't be teachers. Who knows what it is she dislikes about you, but obviously she has formed quite a grudge.
I would tell you parents about it, which is a difficult subject to approach - I think a lot of parents would assu... (read in full...)
I tried speaking to him but not getting anywhere
Q. Hey guys, I've been with my husband for 5 years but only married for 5 months. We have a little boy together which I love more then life itself. Since we've been married I've been extremly unhappy. He smokes marijana everyday, sometime more then onc...
A. 12 February 2008: If he won't respond to you verbally maybe leave him a note expressing how you feel?
What a frustrating situation. For him to be behaving this way/punishing you because you had his son.. he doesn't sound like a very nice or mature person.
You s... (read in full...)
I care too much for him but at the same time I want my family's approval, only that my parents disapprove of my bf! Please advise.
Q. Please, I really need some advice on this topic I am 21 years old and come from a pretty traditional Italian family. I live at home since I am finishing up my degree. Recently I started dating this guy from work and am crazy about him! He ma...
A. 11 February 2008: You are not being selfish at all! Your parents are being completely unreasonable. There are a million worse things you could be doing, you are in a committed relationship with someone that loves you. They are the ones making the situation complica... (read in full...)
Only 3 days ago I met a nice guy online, and I feel like risking my 3-year relationship for him! What should I do?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 and a half years but about three days ago I met a guy on a chat line, he has been very nice to me and I started to get feelings for him. I love my boyfriend very much and don't believe in cheating but I ...
A. 11 February 2008: If your relationship with your boyfriend isn't working, you should end things with him based on that, not because some other guy of three days is a sweet talker. Jumping out of a three year relationship right into another one? Not a good move. Y... (read in full...)
I've heard that condoms aren't very good when you want pleasure so should we use one?
Q. I've been in a relationship with a lad for about 2 years now and I'm ready to sleep with him. I'm 16 years old so I'm legal, and I'm on the pill. I've heard that condoms aren't very good when you want pleasure. Since I'm on the pill is it okay to ...
A. 11 February 2008: Here is a site with some statistics on the pill http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/femalehormone1.html It's not 100% effective, and especially at your age I would not want to take any chances with it!! Has your boyfriend been tested for STI's, a... (read in full...)
He sounded really funny on the phone when I called him, should I be worried?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for a long time. Recently we went on a break but that only lasted a couple days and we're back together again but it seems like things have changed a little. Okay, a lot! I hung out a couple nights ago and ...
A. 11 February 2008: To me, it seems strange. Usually after a break if both people still want to be with each other things should be better than before (if only temporarily). The fact that he is withdrawn is a little troubling. I say trust your gut instinct. ... (read in full...)
How can I comfort him when he talks about his troubled past??
Q. Let me first of all apologize for this being long... So me and this one guy like each other and have gotten to be best friends. I have fallen in love with him. We have talked about dating, but he says once he gets everything that he is going th...
A. 11 February 2008: The fact that he is continually opening up more and more is a good sign that you are saying the right thing now. I think when we open up to people, there is no set response we are expecting to hear - it's just having someone to listen, to care. H... (read in full...)
Can't live with him or without him...which option is the lesser of two evils??
Q. Hello I've been browsing this site recently to see if I can get an answer to my problem. I'm in a relationship with someone I love I guess I would call him the love of my life so far. I've been with him a few years now but it is very up and down...
A. 11 February 2008: When you break up sometimes is it him you are missing, or the benefits of the relationship? (Companionship, affection etc) I'm young so my experience is very limited, but love and being suited to one another are very different things. A good re... (read in full...)
Only 3 days ago I met a nice guy online, and I feel like risking my 3-year relationship for him! What should I do?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 and a half years but about three days ago I met a guy on a chat line, he has been very nice to me and I started to get feelings for him. I love my boyfriend very much and don't believe in cheating but I ...
A. 11 February 2008: It is EASY to make someone feel loved and wanted and gorgeous on the internet within three days of meeting them. What's difficult is maintaining a relationship of three years. I'm going to make an assumption here and guess that the online guy is f... (read in full...)
I tried speaking to him but not getting anywhere
Q. Hey guys, I've been with my husband for 5 years but only married for 5 months. We have a little boy together which I love more then life itself. Since we've been married I've been extremly unhappy. He smokes marijana everyday, sometime more then onc...
A. 11 February 2008: Did he smoke marijuana daily before you were married? Are these things that have only been happening since you were married? When you try to talk to him - are you approaching him angrily or calmly? As much as he may be angering you if you appro... (read in full...)
My gf calls my best friend "hun," is that a form of flirting?
Q. hey just want to know what you guys think, i just got back, i was away from my gf for a year and 4 months; i was reading some of her msgs and that's when i seen msgs of her calling my friend hun, for example "hun dont worry about it" - would u say ...
A. 11 February 2008: I don't think its a flirty thing, maybe if she only uses affectionate nicknames like that with him - but all of my female friends call me (and others) hun, sweetie, babe and I assure you they are not trying to flirt with me!... (read in full...)
22, My mother is ruining my life! What should I do?
Q. I have one more question for the day/night. Ok. My mother treats me like a 2 year old and I'm actually 22 and she baby-sits me and she won't let me do things like go out with my friends or anything. I have to come home at 10 or before she gets home ...
A. 11 February 2008: Your mother only has as much control over you as you allow her to have!
Have a rational, well thought out discussion with her. You are 22, having friends is not a BAD thing! Having friends is a necessary thing, socialising with these friends ... (read in full...)
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