I'm a married man but became utterly obsessed with a young co-worker. We've been friends for a while but I just can't stop thinking that I'm destined to be with her
Q. Hi, I am a married male with children, and I love my wife very much. I hired this girl (who has a boyfriend) who was almost 20 years younger than me for a 1 year term. She is extremely sociable, and has a good relationship with almost everyone she ...
A. 15 December 2007: I am glad you are coping by yourself. I am glad to hear the good news, congratulations to you that you have proved yourself a wise person to get out of this situation before ruining your marriage and career.... (read in full...)
My husband posts dirty ads to get off... Will this pattern repeat?
Q. I met my 2nd husband a year ago and we have been married for 4 months now. 5 months into our relationship i found a recent an email on his laptop to a female colleague where he was prompting her for an answer if he would want sex with her again as ...
A. 27 November 2007: I know so many married guys that their whole life is dedicated to womanizing. They are otherwise normal, successful persons.
It is not a matter of threapy. Threapy for what? He wants it, he tries and and if he finds a chance he does it. He is us... (read in full...)
He complains that I'm "too wet" when we make love!
Q. I've just divorced my husband and met this man 18 years older than me. I am 45. This man is very good in bed. I've got turn on without minutes and gets very wet. He complains he couldnt feel anything when I am wet. He talks like its my fault ...
A. 27 November 2007: I understand him. Because when you are wet, the penis moves with mouch ease and with less friction (which actually provokes nerves of pleasure on boths sides) So it is supposed that penis is large enough and vagina is tight enough the wetness woul... (read in full...)
She's got another guy and I missed my chance. Should I be friends with her, then?
Q. Hi, I think I may have missed my chance with a girl I have a bit of a crush on. She was on the uni dating site, and I'd seen her around a couple of times. Have thought about contacting her but something inside of me was always holding me back....
A. 27 November 2007: If I were her boyfriend I wouldnt like it that her ex is contacting her. And in deed you still have feelings towards her. Do not be the third person.
But there is nothing wrong in being warm and nice towards her chance encounters. This will kee... (read in full...)
I want my married gf..not my long term gf..what can I do?
Q. hi i'm dating someone for 3 years but have been seeing a married woman for 1 yr. i love them both but its the married woman i want to be with. she's now pregnant and even in spite of this i want to be with her. she wanted to leave her husband about ...
A. 27 November 2007: 'i just dont deserve her and she deserves more than me.' when I feel these kind of expressions I sense insincerity (I also used them occasionally) Man...If she is really good for you and you thus loved her you would go for her and be with her... ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want her but wants me! What should I do?
Q. i met this guy in 1995 on holiday we have been in contact ever since, he now says he isnt happy with her and want to be with me. what do i do?...
A. 27 November 2007:
Do you know the other girl? Are you friends with her?
Do you like this guy? Do you love her?
If you are not friends with his current girlfriend and If you like him and want to give it a try, why not...
But if you know the girl, or friend... (read in full...)
I'm a married man but became utterly obsessed with a young co-worker. We've been friends for a while but I just can't stop thinking that I'm destined to be with her
Q. Hi, I am a married male with children, and I love my wife very much. I hired this girl (who has a boyfriend) who was almost 20 years younger than me for a 1 year term. She is extremely sociable, and has a good relationship with almost everyone she ...
A. 26 November 2007: Please give it up.I am confident you can do it. ... (read in full...)
How can a woman love, yet cheat time after time?
Q. I am wondering if someone could enlighten me? Would be nice to get female answers. Why would a woman cheat time after time,go through the same denials and say the same things,yet swear her love,accuse her boyfriend of cheating,show violent ...
A. 26 November 2007: -some women (and men) have split personality, to varying degrees. The person who is f.. around is one person, one life and the person in denial and accusing her boyfriend is another. It may be a deep or medium level split personality. It is a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend acts like a spoilt brat and only cares about himself during sex. What can I do about this?
Q. Hi, i wonder if you can help. I'm a 21 year old female and my partner is 28. we have been dating for 2 years and are living together in his appartment above his family home in his country. (greece). Its very hard for me here as its a small island ...
A. 26 November 2007: You have every reason to leave him. But you are not even talking about it. why doesnt it occur to you?
everybody talks greek, it is a differnt culture, you cannot even have greek lessons, you dont like his family hes been an asshole...And you keep... (read in full...)
Should I cut my losses with a guy that doesn't want to commit?
Q. Should I cut my losses? S and I have been dating for several months now. I'm 26, he's 31. We have fun together, we spend a lot of time together and I love him. We do have little quarrels but as a whole it is a great relationship. The only problem ...
A. 26 November 2007: Many men -including myself- do not like the idea, procedure, responsibilites and even talk of marriage. We like it this way free and away from official social responsibilities.
Those kind of men, though wont resist marriage as it comes naturall... (read in full...)
I cannot be close friends with my ex whilst I still love her. I would love to have her back, do I talk to her about this and how?
Q. Hi there, I'm a 22 year old guy who has just split from his second ever, and longest, relationship. I basically have rarely if EVER really liked a girl enough for a relationship, I cannot stand someone who is easy or who has had many sexual ...
A. 26 November 2007: I am surprised you delayed making love throughout this relationship and as I understand it did not happen. She almost openly said she wanted sex with you and you as the man did not do it. How much more you would expect it to continue sexless. Sex ... (read in full...)
He makes me feel secure and wanted, but when I think about his age I wonder if I have taken a good decision. He's 18 yrs older.
Q. I am 45 and my husband is 50 just divorced and I met this man 18 years older than me. He has been supportive throughout my divorce. He has just recovered from colon cancer when I met him. He's got no children. He said I am a huge boost to him and ...
A. 26 November 2007: I think he is a mature, experienced, easygoing nice person. He makes you happy. He makes you feel secure. wanted. You should feel great. You are middle aged woman and he is old. I mean you are both beyond your youth. In this case, I think really, ... (read in full...)
I am 40 years old and my husband of 23 years has told me he wants us to seperate... I am devastated!
Q. I am 40 years old and my husband of 23 years has told me he wants us to seperate, I am devestated (an understatment) things havent been good between us but I was really trying to make things work, However he is adament that it is over. I cant ...
A. 25 November 2007: He made you beg. You accepted and let him know that you are the weaker party here. You even accepted the fact that he openly slept with another girl, and you still beg him to be with you. You are the losing party here.
It is hard for you to win. ... (read in full...)
Is it incest if you were related through great grandparents?
Q. After being in a relationship for about 2 and a half years, it fizzled out, but that wasn't to mean that the break-up wasn't messy, and a lot of heartache caused. That was 4 months ago, and i haven't even been interested in getting involved with ...
A. 25 November 2007: Not at all!!!
Look at the Royal Faimilies in Europe!!!! All of them are related!!!... (read in full...)
Should I move closer to be with her?
Q. Ok, so I met someone on holiday who I really like, but she lives 300 miles away. What do i do? First of all I would explain that this was an unplanned holiday given to me by a friend who was taking his girlfriend, now ex. It was intended to be a...
A. 25 November 2007: I would caution you in taking a hasty decision to move closer to her. It is a big decision for you and for her and I do not think the time is ripe in your relationship for this. You dont know each other you have not gone through the usual life ... (read in full...)
I'm a married man but became utterly obsessed with a young co-worker. We've been friends for a while but I just can't stop thinking that I'm destined to be with her
Q. Hi, I am a married male with children, and I love my wife very much. I hired this girl (who has a boyfriend) who was almost 20 years younger than me for a 1 year term. She is extremely sociable, and has a good relationship with almost everyone she ...
A. 25 November 2007: Thank you for this very consistent, honest and sincere question. I full symptahize with your situation and I do understand you and your feelings also. Dont worry you do not need to see a thrapist. These are all human conditions. You will get over it ... (read in full...)
My best friend has been flirting with me lately and putting his arms around me, what should I do next time he does it?
Q. my best friend has been flirting with me alot. hes been sitting next to me at lunch, always wants to be by me and stuff like that. then when i was walking in the hall he came up to me and we started talking. then when it got all quite he put his arm ...
A. 25 November 2007: It is clear you are into him also. It is great. As a man I would advise you to put your head on his shoulders. ... (read in full...)
My husband treats me bad. Now I am in love with his best friend. I was told it was noticeable from both of us, our gestures etc.
Q. Me and my husband have been married for 11 years now and our marriage has always been rocky. I got pregnant and I felt we had to get married. I do love him, just not the way I should anymore. In the last year, his best friend has become my best ...
A. 25 November 2007: As I see nothing wrong happened yet. But it may happen any time. This is a kind of situation which I describe as ugly and unethical (falling in love with your boyfriends or husband's best friend) but unfortunately people fall in those traps. Anyw... (read in full...)
Can't stop thinking about a girl who is proud to be a heartbreaker.
Q. Okay, so I'm looking for advice here, or at least some opinions of people who can relate. I'm totally nuts over a girl who I barely even know, and I have no idea why. I went on a few dates with her several months ago, and she cut off contact with...
A. 25 November 2007: You ask the question you know the trouble looming you know the absurdity of this situation and you know the consequences. These types of girls are the girls whom you should be at most f..king and dumping. It is hard to dump them but when you can... (read in full...)
Suspected: The Cheated Becomes The Cheater...?
Q. Hi All, I appreciate all the comments on my original post about the break up (http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-get-loads-of-attention-from-other-girls.html). Yesterday evening I found out she’s been seeing someone else for the last month ...
A. 24 November 2007: You are lucky that you got out of this mess. You are a good mate and deserve better much better. I am certain you will meet that nice person. It is not going to be easy to get over this I know. But it is not your fault. You were only good to her.... (read in full...)
My girlfriends past annoys me. How can I get over that?
Q. Hello there, Im think im going nuts over silly things , i fell in love this summer with an amazing girl shes 24 and Im 27. i was working as a scuba diving instructor and one of my brothers mates rang me and asked if he could bring his new girfrien...
A. 24 November 2007: We make choices and we live with them (Bill Murray, Groundhog Day). I would feel exactly the same as you if I had chosen a girl who has been -in front of my own eyes and just recently kissing and almost sleeping with a guy I know-. The night she ... (read in full...)
My long-distance boyfriend has said he'd change because he doesn't treat me right and I have a male friend who fancies me, how should I handle all this?
Q. I just started at college 3 months ago and I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of over a year. Lately he has not been treating me well and I know he is constantly flirting with other girls. I was ready to break up with him but ...
A. 24 November 2007: I dont believe long distance relationships are worth the effort. It brings a lot of troubles mentally financially and on the way they end sadly -mostly-.
He is not making a caomparable effort anyway and he is flirtious with others.
Common ... (read in full...)
His sexy talk makes me feel cheap
Q. my boyfreind talks dirty to me whenever i give him a blow job and its making me feel cheap. i dont mind it sometimes in bed, it can be hot, but he does it nonstop when im giving him oral sex. he says stuff like do you love my big co*k, and suck me ...
A. 24 November 2007: make a deal with him. Tell him to do it when you (better when you) wish it. There is no degrading issue here dont worry on the other hand.
As for the deal I am pretty sure he will agree. He will know it is best to do these things when the woman so... (read in full...)
My mom's dressing.
Q. Hi, I am Jasper. doing my UG. My family are a very good and decent family living in a village. We are a middle level family living in the tradition way. My problem is about my MOM. She is around 50 years old and working as a teacher in a ...
A. 24 November 2007: Read below once more PGGSYD: She is suffering!
'Mostly I feel I want to die when people's eyes points her navel this happens when I go with her out. Another thing is my I see some friends staring at her and passing comments(I have heard it).
D... (read in full...)
She feeds my insecurities by showing signs that she still feels for him, how can I get this off my chest when she wont speak about it?
Q. I've been in a serious relationship for just about 2 years. I adore her and I know she loves me. OK. i'll get just down to it. Her ex!! He was her first and i know she was crazy about him and I know she still thinks he's the 'perfect' guy. i ...
A. 24 November 2007: My friend. in all honesty no man would accept the attitude that you are trying to SWALLOW. She disrespectfully and without any concern and care towards you said openly she loves him and thinks he is the best. She not only loves and wants her she ... (read in full...)
I'm checking men out...and it is unsettleing me.
Q. Hi, Im a 32 year old guy and recently ive noticed something disturbing thats been happening to me. I'll be at the movies or something and I'll say to myself, George Clooney is a good looking bloke or whoever was in the movie at the time. And Im d...
A. 24 November 2007: It is perfectly OK. We men also compare ourselves with other men and because our male culture we are not supposed to think or say these things and find other men handsome. I think the fact that you are questioning yourself about these inner thoughts ... (read in full...)
She's got me hooked
Q. I met a new work colleague 14 months ago. I noticed her intelligence and quirky sense of humour straight away, although I wasn’t immediately attracted to her. During the passing months I have come to realise she’s such a beautiful person in every ...
A. 24 November 2007: Well it is unfortunate that have fallen in love with her. Probably your feelings are simply fascination admiration, because you dont know her fully and you dont know her in private. But in anycase we have situation. First things first, you need to ... (read in full...)
Confused......
Q. I am married with three children. I have a very demanding job and work long hours. My husband is away abroad for months at a time-sometimes up to six months. He claims it is business related but I feel ignored and used. I have to pay all the bills, ...
A. 24 November 2007: Does he asks you how you manage home kids and yourself during his long absences? No I guess no...His answer to his long absences sound defensive. In any case they are unusually long and I understand he is not a sailor or marine. is he?
You a... (read in full...)
If a guy passes on sex, does it mean he isn't that interested?
Q. I am dating a japanese guy and I'm Australian living in Tokyo, it's so difficult, I have invited him over the last three nights but he hasn't come over, all legitimate excuses but if a guy passes on sex, does it mean he isn't that interested?...
A. 23 November 2007: All the japanese men -even the married men- have a strong interest in sex. Like any men all over the world. AJapanese men must be crazy to pass you by and avoid coming to your place. yes I think he is crazy and he is not interested.(all things being ... (read in full...)
Will I trust again?
Q. I have just found out that my finance that I have been with for over 12 years has been cheating on me for about 1 month. I found out when I received the cell phone bill and this odd number was all over the bill. He denied it so then I really ...
A. 23 November 2007: You may not find a solution nor may you find comfort or inner peace by constantly suspecting him, checking his emails or mobile phone bills. It is torture. It will lead you nowhere but break up or break down. You need to tell clearly and openly how ... (read in full...)
My mom's dressing.
Q. Hi, I am Jasper. doing my UG. My family are a very good and decent family living in a village. We are a middle level family living in the tradition way. My problem is about my MOM. She is around 50 years old and working as a teacher in a ...
A. 23 November 2007: Your mother represents you also and you represent you mother especially in a small community these things matter and you mother MUST take into account what the community around you and her thinks of. You are 100% correct in getting this feeling. We ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he come to see me?
Q. My boyfriend and I we have been dating for over 6 years, he lives in the UK and he is married, I am living in France and I am single. We do care about each other and we do trust each other. We get on well even though we are far from each other. ...
A. 23 November 2007: I am sorry but you say he is married and he is your boyfriend. Pardon, a married man can not be your boyfriend. And to be blunt he can only be your lover. It is surprising that after you have mentioned once in passing that he is married, it never ... (read in full...)
Do you think there's someone else? Or that he's not attracted to me anymore? His sex drive decreased very much...
Q. For a couple months it seems like my boyfriends sex drive has dramaticly decreased. We use to do it atleast 3 times a week and now ill be lucky if its 2 times a month. And when we do i have to start it. Also i mention it and he just acts aggravated ...
A. 23 November 2007: First of all at your age (assuming your boyfriend also is in his 20's) It is unusual not to have sex almost everyday. his sexual performance is like a man married to his wife for 2-3 years and he is in his late thirties and early forties. So ... (read in full...)
She said she could not come to lunch with me today but offered to meet up next week. Is she trying to avoid me?
Q. hi. today i asked my crush if she wanted to go for lunch. she said that she couldnt today but offered to meet up next week. We get on well together andwork together in our practical groups and i'll walk her home. do you think that she is tryi...
A. 23 November 2007: It is possible that she might be avoind you but it is not certain. I would say if she really gave you detail of her reasons of not going our for lunch that day, chances are she really means what she says and she will show up next week for lunch. But ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend look at porn and not want to have sex with me?
Q. ok so i have a question? I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. we love each other very much but there are some problems we have been having especially lately. a couple days ago i was looking through the history(not on purpose) on the ...
A. 23 November 2007: Watching porn is not cheating and it is not substitute for natural sex. But at your age not having sex is not OK. (I wanted to have sex every hour of the day when I was at that age). So you are right in getting upset not because he is watching p... (read in full...)
A boy from school said it's embarassing to be virgin. I do not agree. What do you think?
Q. a boy said at school in a pshe lesson that "if you are 14 and still a virgin its embarresing" although over half tutor are virgins.i dont think thats embarresing at all what do you think? its getting to me. ...
A. 22 November 2007: I strongly think that you should just treat that statement as a joke. And he is just a boy. But when I was growing up and trying to get other girls laid we wwould tell them sleeping is perfectly normal no love has to be involved etc etc. Virg... (read in full...)
Does a man feel anything emotionally for his mistress/sex partner, especially if he knows her well, yet does not love her?
Q. When a man has sex with a women he is not in love but knows her very well, is it a different experiance to making love or having sex with his wife? What is the difference to a man emotionally in having casual sex. Sex is meaningful to wo...
A. 22 November 2007: Yes usually most men would feel some kind of affection, compassion and care towards the women he has sex with. And most men do not feel that by having sex he is using the women, a man can have sex with a women he knows, still take her as a normal ... (read in full...)
Anatomically correct? - the bit of skin of vaginal structure...
Q. ive allways had a really big bit of skin on my vagina and is bout 5 cm and hangs out of the middle its awful and its putting me off been confident around boys does anyone know of what it s and how to maybe get rid of it?...
A. 22 November 2007: I think if you are not feeling comfortable with the thing ...then this is the most important issue. I am pretty sure you have checked relevant web sites with ladies showing off their vaginas liberally and compared your with the average...
Even then... (read in full...)
Does he just want all the perks with none of the restrictions??
Q. I'm 18, and have been "dating" a 27 year old for almost a year. He works with teenagers, and therefore our relationship cannot be public, as he would risk losing his job and ruining his reputation. However, he also refuses to introduce me to his ...
A. 22 November 2007: Clearly there is a problemd and the gist of that problem is known to you clearly.
But... If you think and you do...he might be right be afraid of damaging his job by introducing you openly...then give him his dues and be patient wait a little l... (read in full...)
How can I support her without giving off mixed signals??
Q. First a little background: I am happily married with 3 children. About 3 months ago a young woman started working in another department in my company. Due to her job, I see her several times a day, and over time I became quite friendly with her, ...
A. 22 November 2007: The fact that she has expressed her feelings or rather what she thinks about doing with you in an explicit way shows she is exteremly forward, and she, knowing you are married, does not care about marriage, love and almost only after sex. Or she is ... (read in full...)
My lover is taking trips with her ex alone, is that right?
Q. I am a lesbian, I am dating a Bisexual woman of 9 months. She remains friends with an ex boyfrined from a relationship for a year. Now they are planning trips to Haiwai and Las vegas alone. She gets jeaulous if I hang out with friends. Do I have a ...
A. 21 November 2007: You know they will sleep together, Dont you. Whats bothering you? The fact that they will sleep together or that she will go without you. You have no right to question the fact that she sleeps with a man because she is BI.
If it is second you migh... (read in full...)
Am I right or is he wrong?
Q. I met this man during my divorce. I am 47 and been together for 6 months. I have Christmas at work but not allowed to take partners. He said we will be over if I go because he doesnt like it. He always emphazise he is a one on one person. He ...
A. 20 November 2007: It is too much control I do accept. But i do understand that he does not like these parties. Some poeple dont. And if he is not imprsinoning you at home all the time -which of course is not the case- and going out for christmas etc is not the most ... (read in full...)
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