A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am wondering if someone could enlighten me? Would be nice to get female answers. Why would a woman cheat time after time,go through the same denials and say the same things,yet swear her love,accuse her boyfriend of cheating,show violent jealousy,and not let go,only to cheat yet again?
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male
reader, surprised  +, writes (28 December 2007):
I don't believe we were meant to be monogamous. Marriage is an institution created by humans. Yes, we all want that strong bond with a special someone and we want to be front and center in that person's life. But the qualities that we find appealing in a person of the opposite sex may be many and varied. We might find ourselves attracted to multiple persons. I recently came out of a relationship with a married woman. We loved each other but she ended things when her husband found out some info about us. She also loves her husband. She was a newlywed when we became involved. I understand why she did what she did and why she allowed herself to become involved with me. Put simply, I brought a great deal to her life (as she did to mine) that her husband didnt and probably never will. I still love her and am glad we shared the experiences we did together. I also truly hope she is happy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): Some never cheat.Some cheat and regret.Others will cheat for the sake of it,simply thru opportunity and with no intention of being caught.When caught may become aggressive or even turn it around and before you know it,you are being sent on a guilt trip.Basicaly turn it around and then dodge the issue.Maybe even have the nerve to call u a liar and deny forever,knowing well,that you know. Unfortunately,i have experience of this not too long ago. I even pretended to be an admire thru texting once and she was going for that too.The best way forward is stay away from this type.She was jealous too,even of my past.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): A woman who has decided in her mind to cheat will cheat regardless of how she is being treated. Some will have sex with men who give them money and other gifts, others to revenge one thing or another and the most dangerous lot are the ones who just have sex with any man who is better looking, rich or taller that their partner..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): I don't think it matters whether it's a man or a woman with this question. Why do cheaters cheat? It's an age-old debate.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): You have got your hands full. She probably doesnt know why herself. Stop killing yourself and get a life. It will be endless. Every day you will become more resentful. Its easy to say she needs reassurance,compliments,flowers and chocolates etc. When push comes to shove there are names for women like that.Theres probably someone very close to you smirking now.You could give her the world,and no doubt she will sleep with half of it.Forget reasons and if this or if that.She`s a cheat,end of story.Someone has to be cruel to be kind. Sorry but you will find this out if you are potty enough to put up with it.I know you probably didnt want to hear it.
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (26 November 2007):
 -some women (and men) have split personality, to varying degrees. The person who is f.. around is one person, one life and the person in denial and accusing her boyfriend is another. It may be a deep or medium level split personality. It is a clinical case.
-Some women (and men) do the cheating but thinks and wants it is her privacy and the other (the boyfriend or husband) is not supposed to know, should not know, do not now, so it is her right to expect to be treated as if she was normal, innocent, because he should not know, would not know...
Either case, ordinary persons cannot deal with them. usually their guilty consicous rarely surfaces.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): Maybe she feels insecure about your relationship and needs you to reassure her that you love her. If your relationship is filled with petty arguments, maybe you have girlfriends that she feels threatened by, these situations can make a girl feel insecure. So she looks for the attention elsewhere. I did behave like this myself once in a relationship and it was because I believed he didn't love me as much as I did him. He refused to stop contact with his ex's,it felt like he was taunting me with his female friends and it just made me explode with so much anger! Needless to say I'd go out and get my own back and sleep with another guy. It's a crazy situation, but I think you have both established a destructive pattern together. If you do have feelings for the girl then maybe you should go to relationship counselling together.Because you will rip each others hearts apart and will be no good in a future relationship.
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (26 November 2007):
 Hey hon, basically she is reaching out to other people and sees sex as something positive and likes the differences. I hope you are ok and i wish you luck :) Feel free to mail me about anything x
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (26 November 2007):
 The answer from hlskitten is absolutely right. It makes her feel better when she is with a man. She can't help it, it takes away any bad feeling she has. The problem with this type of woman is that you can keep looking after her, but as soon as you have any disagreement, even if it's her fault, she'll seek attention from other men to mkae herself feel better. Which just makes it worse. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): yep - hlskitens answer is spot on and you cannot solve this without professional help. I know - ive bin there.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (26 November 2007):
 Hi
Mega low self esteem thats why. Addicted to reassurance from the opisite sex. And wrongly sees sex as that reassurance.
Counselling is needed.
C xxxxxx
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