I used the online hard-to-get tactic and it backfired!
Q. I was a asswipe and fell for playing that stupid "how to get and keep a girl" tactic and it ended up backfiring right in my face and now the love of my life is moving out of state with another man Please tell me how I can stop it in the next two...
A. 17 December 2010: BTW you have my respect for getting there in the first place. Don't worry, if you got so far you are can keep going. You seem to have done well. Don't be too hard on yourself. The outcome cannot be guaranteed, she's a free person after all.... (read in full...)
Girls can you understand why she dumped me? I loved her
Q. We met... there was an interest, we hooked up an became the best of friends that slepted together after a year of this we eventually wised up and officially became a couple, i have had alot of girls and im no amateur but we were so happy together, ...
A. 17 December 2010: Wow. Did you try getting an answer from her? BTW... the move to china obviously did not ruin your career, as you ended up being her boss :) Maybe it had something to do with that - and your attitude about the whole thing. Still not an excuse not to ... (read in full...)
I used the online hard-to-get tactic and it backfired!
Q. I was a asswipe and fell for playing that stupid "how to get and keep a girl" tactic and it ended up backfiring right in my face and now the love of my life is moving out of state with another man Please tell me how I can stop it in the next two...
A. 17 December 2010: These techniques you are talking about are made to get a girl to your bed, not to build a relationship, I think. It's more short term. A tactic is by definition something that works short term for a precise goal - in this case to get her interest, I ... (read in full...)
I enjoy watching my boyfriend masturbate!
Q. I really enjoy watching my bf masturbate himself off. Is this weird?? ...
A. 17 December 2010: What would be weird about it?... (read in full...)
Heartbroken and confused about my future love life.
Q. I dated someone for 8-9 months and it has been fully 5 months since the breakup and i'm still not over him. it was my first relationship. the break was really hard. I am worried that maybe he is the one, why else am i having such a hard time moving ...
A. 17 December 2010: You need to take it so that you can learn. You might have something to learn.... (read in full...)
Did I blow it by telling him I was attracted?
Q. so i have a dilemma. i met this guy about two years ago. we were both single, and he showed interest, but i didn't really take the bait too fast, i didn't want to seem easy. as time passed we hung out and went on a couple casual dates, but somehow ...
A. 17 December 2010: Only freaky people freak out :) But some people (like me) dislike overwhelming, over-the-top confessions. But it's just a dislike. Make sure you don't do that too often.
If that's all it takes to put him off, then it's not a good sign. You've done... (read in full...)
Very disturbing behaviour from my son
Q. Hi everyone, I hope you can take the time to help! I have a ten year old son, and since he was born he's been the sweetest, smartest, and generous boy I've ever known and wanted. He did his homework every night and I've never had to ask him twice to ...
A. 17 December 2010: Wow that is weird! I don't think he's gonna turn into a serial killer, besides as long as he's not hiding stuff it's a good sign. But definitely unsettling behavior.
Also remember teenagers go through such phases of rebellion and identity cris... (read in full...)
Really need a male perspective...
Q. I've recently got back together with an ex. We dated for a year, 7 years ago. (I was 25 and had ended it because I'd felt it was too intense - he was very much in love with me, proposed etc., and I wasn't ready, then.) He still feels the same w...
A. 17 December 2010: I think excess weight is a minus (ie most guys prefer thin girls) but once the relationship gets going, it becomes a minor detail. In other words, IMHO, it takes more then 15 pounds extra weight to kill a relationship.
Besides if you guys want to m... (read in full...)
A big fight with my girlfriend means I can't talk to her...what do I do?
Q. I have fallen completely in love with my girlfriend and she says she loves me too and talks of nothing but our future. Over time baggage from her past has haunted us more and more leading to more heated arguments. i came back from a 2 week vacation ...
A. 23 November 2010: Seriously, she got you arrested? Dude! Find someone nicer.
Maybe she also feels trapped and has trouble dealing with it, so it's her way to getting space.
In any case, keep your head high. You have to. Keep your spirits high.
Maybe it'll be ok.... (read in full...)
My new guy makes no effort to pleasure me, Opinions please.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months (I've known him for years) but we havent had sex. I was with a guy before and we had done everything so it took time to adjust with my new boyfriend. I know this isn't what a relationship should be about but ...
A. 23 November 2010: That's really weird behavior.... (read in full...)
One night stand...but I don't regret it, should I?
Q. Right, straight to the point! I lost my virginity on a one night stand, and it doesn't seem to bother me that I slept with a random boy. Am I stupid for not being bothered that I don't want to be involved in a reltionship with him? Please hel...
A. 3 November 2010: I guess no relationship is better then a "fake" relationship based on invalid reasons.
If you're ok with it, and he is too, then I'd say you're both lucky.
If you have his number you can still try to reach him.... (read in full...)
We keep fighting, I don't want to, and I don't want to lose her but this is a vicious cycle!
Q. Please help me! I have been seeing this girl with an 8 yr old daughter since February 2008. She had mentioned that she wasn't looking for a serious relationship so we kept it mutual. A few months later (May) she read a few flirtatious emails I had ...
A. 27 October 2010: Maybe you're resentful about her "ordering" you to stop communicating with that other girl.
I am looking for answers too, I keep fighting with my GF too, and it also bothers me when she says that I'm pretty and stuff like that, she also tells me n... (read in full...)
Moving On From One Night Of Horror In A Happy Marriage Of 10 yrs??
Q. I've been married now for almost 10 years. My husband and I have what most people consider a great relationship. We don't argue or stupid things and when we do, the fights don't involve name calling, profanity, or low blows...and we make up ...
A. 27 October 2010: Ask him if it was worth it to get in such a mood over his joblessness and to do these things and risk loosing you. I think I know how you feel. It is a shock and I have been on the receiving end too, and it is a terrible feeling. People can say what... (read in full...)
Wife taking 24 condoms on holiday when she is going with 3 other women.
Q. hi my wife and i have funny kind of marrage (i think we have been married a lot of years) yes i know how many 30. each year she and 3 old (well same age girlfriends go away on holiday for a week. this year they are going on a crusie and i was...
A. 2 October 2010: Oh, and yeah some women do like to put condoms on "dirty" toys. But since it's her toy, I'd expect her to buy one that she would be comfortable using directly, as opposed to one on which she would need to put a condom to be comfortable with.
B... (read in full...)
Wife taking 24 condoms on holiday when she is going with 3 other women.
Q. hi my wife and i have funny kind of marrage (i think we have been married a lot of years) yes i know how many 30. each year she and 3 old (well same age girlfriends go away on holiday for a week. this year they are going on a crusie and i was...
A. 2 October 2010: You know your wife better then any of us. Even if she's the faithful type, I'd have doubts and difficulty sleeping. If she's the cheating type, then you might even want to skip the confronting part.
I wonder... how come you sound so calm and indi... (read in full...)
Girfriend coming back from a trip after long-distance arguments. What to do?
Q. My Girfriend is away for a one month language course in Europe. It has been 3 weeks now, and she is coming back next week. Before she left we werent doing very well, fighting and even getting physical once or twice. But we keep getting back ...
A. 26 September 2010: I think I forgot how lucky I am, and she is taking me for granted. She comes back tonight. I'll ask her for forgiveness for treating her less then she deserves, and I hope she'll also ask forgiveness for taking me for granted.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is so clingy and insecure it's leaving me at breaking point!
Q. Although she really does'nt need to be, my girlfriend is very insecure. She knows it too, but this hasn't changed over the 8 years that we've been together. We are definately still in love, but pointless arguements happen all the time, which make us ...
A. 25 September 2010: Just decide whether you're a great couple, or you are better off each on his own. And I think this should be decided together.... (read in full...)
He is a horrible abusive man but I cant let go of him
Q. I can't let go of this abusive, horrible man. He has such a hold on me! I love him a lot, I don't why but I love him so deeply and I just can't let go. If he apologizes and wants me back, I just can't seem to resist. I still see more pros than cons ...
A. 22 September 2010: Only you know whether you should stay or not. Don't let any idiot tell you that your brain is half-baked and that they should decide at your place.... (read in full...)
Some interesting facts on porn to share
Q. hey everyone,this is my second article for dear cupid site..thx for the over whelming response over the first. In this article i am going to talk about PORN ADDICTION i have come across a lot of people on this site seeking help for themselves or th...
A. 22 September 2010: I read a study saying that porn usage is widespread amongst the majority of males, and apparently the majority of females too. There or some revolting stories said here about porn actors being abused, but I believe that a lot of porn in made by ... (read in full...)
How can he change his feelings so quickly?
Q. I was with my ex for 7 yrs. and engaged for 2 of those yrs. We had plans to marry July 4th weekend 2010 but, 1 mth. before that my ex broke it off with me only stating that he was not happy and needed a break. I of course pleaded with him to ...
A. 22 September 2010: You did well. Begging him not to to break off was a good thing, in the light of what happened after. You must have sensed what he was up to and did your best to save him and yourself.
She can have her diamond ring or whatever, you will have a real... (read in full...)
My partner who is 10 years older treats me like a child! It ruins my day!
Q. My boyfriend and I have lived together for a year. Everything is usually fine because my bf is very caring and we love each other. But, one thing really bothers me and it often makes me upset. He is 10 years older than me and it is true that he is ...
A. 17 September 2010: You need to be more confident about yourself. "it is true that he is much more responsible and adult than I am". 10 years do not mean much, really. You can be more mature then him even with that age difference.
Maybe this lack of confidence is gett... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is so negative about life and I don't know how to help him!
Q. I'm not sure where to start with this, and I'm not sure if I'm worrying over nothing but here's the low down.. I've been with my boyfriend for two years. He is 31 years old. Ever since we were first going out, I picked up on very paranoid parts of ...
A. 15 September 2010: I think you're lucky to have each others. And hopefully these things will subside with time. You sound like a great person, and I hope things as are good as they sound from my perspective. I know his behavior is nothing to be happy about, but I dont ... (read in full...)
She says all I think about is sex
Q. On Wednesday, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant with a beach view, the horse races, and a Padres game which all cost $120. Keep in mind that we are both full-time college students and I don't have a job because I write for the school newspaper ...
A. 15 September 2010: Don't worry, people often blame others for what they secretly blame themselves for. It's called projection.... (read in full...)
Why does she do these things and why do I feel this way?
Q. I was on the phone with my girlfriend, she is out of the country for one month. We spoke on skype video (the image was very poor). she shuffled the laptop around, making lots of noises, then I would not understand half of the stuff she was saying ...
A. 15 September 2010: Thanks janniepeg, emasculating is a suitable word. One thing she said today is: A real man wouldnt allow himself to send a birthday car and let it arrive late. Emasculating... again. As you said maybe she dont know, maybe she just wants more ... (read in full...)
Egoistical girlfriend...
Q. I have been going out with my girlfriend for 7 months and she has a big ego! when i first met her, she just recently broke it off with a guy she was seeing. we started talking and ended up liking each other a lot. however, she indicated that she ...
A. 31 August 2010: Watch out for this girl, she is trouble. Most of all, watch your back. And watch ahead...
And oh, reconsider stuff like "and I'm sure she enjoys mine (company)". Don't be sure.
Also something else you got wrong: "i feel the compliments and attentio... (read in full...)
How, exactly do you know you love someone? I mean the real, solid, deep love?
Q. This'll probably sound stupid and I'm sure it's been asked before, but how is it exactly that you know you love someone? I mean real, solid, deep love. I believe deep down that I love my boyfriend, and I want to tell him - but I also don't want ...
A. 22 August 2010: I am wondering the same question, and there are some answers I found recurrently and have to agree with:
- You feel like sacrificing everything for that person, for their well-being or for being next to them.
- You love to see them smile (it make... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is almost perfect, except for hairy nipples...
Q. I have started dating a lovely girl. Perfect in almost every way except, she has quite hairy nipples. It's fine to say I should just ignore this little problem. However, how do I suggest that she might want to get rid of the hairs, without seeming ...
A. 16 July 2010: Most here insist on saying that it's "NORMAL" for a girl to have some hair around the nipples. But no-one here to tell me whether it's normal for a guy to be a bit unsettled by that hair when he's looking right into it, and to have a bad feeling ... (read in full...)
Why can't I be articulate and say what I want to say?
Q. Question: Do any of you know why I have so much trouble articulating what I want to say to people? Almost everytime I want to tell someone something, I just have trouble saying what I'm thinking. Usually when I wanna communicate something to ...
A. 10 July 2010: I got a similar problem. I would feel in the past that I would not say what had to be said, only think later... damn!! I had to say that! And I would torture myself about missied opportunities, and obesse and go around in circles and do weird things ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend cries... And cries... And cries...
Q. i think my girlfrend crys too much, i want to have more sympathy but i find it hard. I realised that my sympathy ran out when she was crying because she was ill and she 'dident have time to be ill'. Surely no one has time to be ill? and crying will ...
A. 10 June 2010: i got the same problem. I wouldnt mind cuddling with her and hugging her until it passes. Thing is it sounds like It's my fault ('-why are you crying?', '-because you dont want to stay close to me!'). And also I was expecting an evening watching a ... (read in full...)
Two years and I still cant make her orgasm....help me someone!
Q. Hey everyone, Well here's the situation, me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years and im not sure if ive ever really given her a true orgasm... The other day we were completely alone and i set out rose petals, turned on romantic music, ...
A. 1 June 2010: I think you're too desperate to see her orgasm and that is turning her off. Forget about it for a while.... (read in full...)
I called my girlfriend my ex's name while making love... BIG MISTAKE!!!
Q. My girlfriend (for a year) and me were making love and I call her by my ex's name (they're names sound similar)by mistake. She flips out saying I'm still thinking of her sexually (I do think of her but only as a friend and nothing else.) She started ...
A. 12 April 2010: She is overreacting because of her past and it's not your fault and you don't have to go through this.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to give up porn...and I would choose her but I refuse to pretend to be something I'm not.
Q. Before anyone chips in and says that I don't understand this from the female perspective, please hear me out - because I have read posts, and heard views from the female side - and believe me they are pretty mixed. My girlfriend and I have been tog...
A. 20 November 2009: I think the issue here is her searching your hard drive without your knowledge, deleting your porn and denying things to your face (according to your description). My girlfriend asked me to stop watching porn after i got annoyed and mad at her sham... (read in full...)
Is it safe to ejaculate more than once in a single condom?
Q. I practice safe sex but I am unsure if it is a good idea to ejaculate more than once in a single condom. That would increase the chance of breakage if I were to do that, right? Thank you for your advice....
A. 22 October 2009: I used to do that but I noticed that sperm sometimes seemed to leak out. That got me worried. It happened to me recently, and I'd like to know how likely this is to result in a pregancy, since the leaking sperm seems to stay at that bottom of the c... (read in full...)
My fiance cheated on me... with my 17-year-old sister!
Q. I broke up with my fiance about 5 months ago, because I found that he cheated me with my sister. She is only 17!! Six months ago, My fiance and I met my sister by chance. And then I found that he often lied to me,the same as my sister . And ...
A. 20 September 2009: I have nothing to say, I know how much betrayal hurts.
I dont know what to do say. Just pray for someone else to come and make them forget the pain. That is the only thing that helped.
Just want to add, it is aboslutely despicable that people w... (read in full...)
LDR over, she cheated on me, now wants me back...I'm sonsure of this
Q. Oh well, this is going to be a LONG question, so please bear with me and apologies for the length of this. Ok, just about 2 years ago (January 2007) I met this girl. I was a postgrad student at university and she was an exchange student who just...
A. 19 July 2009: I could theorize about her motivations, but Id rather not, because when people theorize they usually project their own issues on others.
There is one thing I want to comment though, you were not an idiot to take her back before.
But if you take her... (read in full...)
Who gets the best orgasms - men or women?
Q. Im not sure if there is an actual answer to this, but do both sexes get the same amount of pleasure during sex? for example if they both reach their 'peak' orgasm. in other words, wat sex overall recieves more pleasure?...
A. 18 April 2009: Some things that fascinate me and make me think that women enjoy it more end make feel somewhat envious - "I dont know how the sex was, I am not conscious when I have sex" - All the weird stuff, squirting, overlubrcation - All the convulsions, fas... (read in full...)
I have trouble committing. What do I do?
Q. Hi I met this girl during "vacation" and we had a one month "affair" (she was in an LD). She got in some minor fight with her bf and I could tell that she was waiting for me to ask for some kind of commitment. But every time the opportunity aros...
A. 17 April 2009: Well, i should stop blaming her. I guess I didnt like her enough or something... I got her in this mess with her boyfriend in the first place... but why do i keep thinking about her? I dont get it...... (read in full...)
I have trouble committing. What do I do?
Q. Hi I met this girl during "vacation" and we had a one month "affair" (she was in an LD). She got in some minor fight with her bf and I could tell that she was waiting for me to ask for some kind of commitment. But every time the opportunity aros...
A. 17 April 2009: Ok I love(d) her... but I dont get it... thanks for the advice, yeah i should have felt sorry, but how can i commit to someone who cheated on their boyfriend, begged their way back to them, then left them again (for me... coz i apologized). How can ... (read in full...)
Should I let my feelings for her remain a secret, at least for now?
Q. I have had a best friend for 10 years, and known his girlfriend for around 6 years. I have always been incredibly attracted to his girlfriend but have never done anything to make a move or compromise their relationship. For example, if I feel I ...
A. 17 April 2009: Dude I think you deserve better then this mess.
Do you really want to get in there?
Besides you seem to totally elude the fact that if you make a move, she might tell him and then u might loose them both.
Yes, she might have feelings for you, but... (read in full...)
Should I let my feelings for her remain a secret, at least for now?
Q. I have had a best friend for 10 years, and known his girlfriend for around 6 years. I have always been incredibly attracted to his girlfriend but have never done anything to make a move or compromise their relationship. For example, if I feel I ...
A. 17 April 2009: Well I dont know man. That is a terrible situation.
In life everyone has to deal with their trouble their own way. Every person deals with it in a different way.
So just look deep inside of you and do what you always do. You will find the answer d... (read in full...)
I have trouble committing. What do I do?
Q. Hi I met this girl during "vacation" and we had a one month "affair" (she was in an LD). She got in some minor fight with her bf and I could tell that she was waiting for me to ask for some kind of commitment. But every time the opportunity aros...
A. 17 April 2009: Well I finally understood the problem.
I didnt believe in it.
She didnt invest in it.
We got caught in a circle where i didnt want to believe lest she invest, and she didnt want to invest lest I believe.... (read in full...)
I have trouble committing. What do I do?
Q. Hi I met this girl during "vacation" and we had a one month "affair" (she was in an LD). She got in some minor fight with her bf and I could tell that she was waiting for me to ask for some kind of commitment. But every time the opportunity aros...
A. 17 April 2009: I think looking back the problem is i wanted to commit, but i wanted her first to show some sign of apprectiation, investing in our relationship or at least appreciating the work that it takes me.
She apparently never did, on the opposite she thou... (read in full...)
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