A
male
age
36-40,
*olfen
writes:HiI met this girl during "vacation" and we had a one month "affair" (she was in an LD).She got in some minor fight with her bf and I could tell that she was waiting for me to ask for some kind of commitment. But every time the opportunity arose, I got scared. That sucks. Then I got back home, and SHE asked for commitment, and I said I wasnt sure...Then I got sort of rude at her without reason... She got angry and said she dont wanna hear about me again and wants to go back to her bf. I suspect she was trying to make me jealous... But anywya.I spent the worst days of my life, with the phone in hand, wanting to call her and ask her back (I just KNEW this could work) but i didnt... instead i ended up calling her at the wrong times and saying totally useless things. Like they say... beating around the bush.I kept beating around the bush, not taking the plunge for weeks, the i did the wickedest thing... I got her introuble with her bf by telling him we had an affair... Dunno what had gotten into me... I got MAD... I just wanted to commit but I couldnt. I couldts take the plunge, it's like asking to someone who doesnt know how to swim to jump in a pool. I'm such a coward.So... what can i do now... I just want to know...I guess there is nothing to do... I have years if not a lifetime of loneliness in front of me.... I'll never find better then her... and even if i did... how can I commit... how many years will i have to wait for another chance... and will i be able to do it...What do i do... I'm totally screwed.
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affair, jealous Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rolfen +, writes (17 April 2009):
rolfen is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well, i should stop blaming her. I guess I didnt like her enough or something... I got her in this mess with her boyfriend in the first place... but why do i keep thinking about her? I dont get it...
A
male
reader, rolfen +, writes (17 April 2009):
rolfen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk I love(d) her... but I dont get it... thanks for the advice, yeah i should have felt sorry, but how can i commit to someone who cheated on their boyfriend, begged their way back to them, then left them again (for me... coz i apologized). How can i trust such a person with my heart?
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A
male
reader, rolfen +, writes (17 April 2009):
rolfen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I finally understood the problem.
I didnt believe in it.
She didnt invest in it.
We got caught in a circle where i didnt want to believe lest she invest, and she didnt want to invest lest I believe.
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A
male
reader, rolfen +, writes (17 April 2009):
rolfen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think looking back the problem is i wanted to commit, but i wanted her first to show some sign of apprectiation, investing in our relationship or at least appreciating the work that it takes me.
She apparently never did, on the opposite she though I owed her... I dont know exactly for what?
Probably because of her boyfriend who showers her with gifts just coz he wants to marry her. Once shell get married im sure hell loose interest.
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A
female
reader, xelax  +, writes (13 October 2008):
If you're finding it hard to commint i think it shows something about your relationship and your feelings for her, i dont think you love her enough to commit to her, if you did love her enough you wouldnt have a problem in commiting
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A
female
reader, lilgirly +, writes (13 October 2008):
 omg! i feel that i know you!you're just like and ex!
you already know that what you did to her wasn't the best choice ..you don't want more years of lonliness well you know how to call her,you have to chase after her cause you know that she's the one for you!i swear i know someone like you had the same problem!if you love her get committed....that simple:)show her that you care and that you're sorry for what you said to her boyfriend ..simply say that you're sorry..i'm sure she is still interessted!
take care!
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