A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Question: Do any of you know why I have so much trouble articulating what I want to say to people? Almost everytime I want to tell someone something, I just have trouble saying what I'm thinking. Usually when I wanna communicate something to someone, I end up saying "whatever" or "forget it" because I can't finish what I wanna say. This was never a problem when I was younger and it's extremely bothersome (understatement)! It's such a nuisance when I wanna tell someone something and I can't because my dang brain isn't letting me! I'm thinking it's because I lack confidence? It's very annoying! I just want to be able to articulate my feelings or whatever like a normal human being. Any opinions/advice to be appreciated.
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male
reader, rolfen  +, writes (10 July 2010):
 I got a similar problem. I would feel in the past that I would not say what had to be said, only think later... damn!! I had to say that! And I would torture myself about missied opportunities, and obesse and go around in circles and do weird things to "make up" for the "missed opportunity", thinkin that oh it's not fair that i would always be misunderstood and everything would be perfect if I had only said this word. In fact at some point I really thought I had OCD.
Now it's kinda different, I dont have this anymore.. I just dont care anymore, but I'm having some trouble with my GF, I feel like I am mad at her about something, but I just cant put it in words! Either I cant, or I think I am afraid of being humiliated or giving too much or being vulnerable if I do. I mean, she should know better what I want no? I feel she's not listening, I really dont like that! But we go around in circles and it is driving me mad!1
Anyway, good luck. Some things that might help is not taking it too seriously, if you're a believer, pray, otherwise try to tell yourself that it's gonna be OK in the end (seriously, it is, you just dont know it yet, how can you?). I mean, bad stuff may happen, for sure, terrible stuff, but in the end things usually get in order.
BTW, you seem to be quite articulate, judging from what you said. Maybe you're just shy, or have some misconceptions. You'd be amazed on how much damage can be done by false and misleading ideas.
All I can really say, without wondering wether I am helping or not, is...: Good luck! :-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): As you get older your vocabulary will increase. Every time you hear a word that you don't know the meaning of, look it up in a dictionary. You'll be amazed at how much more articulate you become when you have a few extra words in your armoury.
Re-train yourself not to say 'whatever', 'like', 'yeah?' etc. in the wrong context. Strip away all those words that you use that don't really say anything and try to replace them with words which will convey some meaning to the listener. If you've not got anything lined up in your brain to say next, don't try to continue the conversation until you know exactly what you want to say, and when it's your turn to speak you can let it all out.
Listen to what others have to say and don't interrupt them until they've finished saying what they have to say. If you listen patiently until they've finished speaking they'll afford you the same courtesy. There's nothing quite so annoying as being interrupted mid-flow and it's bound to throw the brain out of gear and make you forget what you were about to say.
I know it sounds simple, but with a bit of practice and self-education it won't be very long before others envy you for your gift of the gab!
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A
female
reader, bex28  +, writes (8 May 2009):
ok firstly your question was very clear and you seemed to have no issue in communicating what was on your mind so therefore you CAN communicate! i totally agree with your point about lack of confidence and with time and effort you can improve. Is it certain things you struggle with more? ie emotional issues? or is it general? either way id advise that you start off slowly perhaps join in converstations with your friends about trival matters T.V shows Sports that kinda thing but make it your aim to get you opinion heard. believe it or not you'll feel great when they hear and understand what you think about something so small. that may offer you practice at having the confidence to say what you want how you wantwhen it comes to more important things. hope that helps :)
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (8 May 2009):
 I think when we are younger we are less aware of the importance of words, we are less conscious of what is right and wrong to say. As we get older we become very aware of saying/doing the right or wrong thing, how others may perceive it, and us.
Communicating has always been my strong point so while I have felt flustered on many occasions I haven't experienced the same trouble you have so am not entirely sure what to suggest.
All I can imagine is having a little patience. Instead of telling people to forget it, take a little time to gather your thoughts and then discuss whatever issues need to be discussed. It's like thinking of the perfect retort 5 minutes after your nemesis walks away, sometimes the mind just needs a breather when under pressure.
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