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male
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anonymous
writes: i think my girlfrend crys too much, i want to have more sympathy but i find it hard. I realised that my sympathy ran out when she was crying because she was ill and she 'dident have time to be ill'. Surely no one has time to be ill? and crying will make you feel worse. This is just a typical example of things she gets upset about. I think im being very cold and looking down on her, what do i do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011): I feel for ya bro, same boat. But you just gotta be patient and listen to try to understand them. I think males in general are raised differently, we're not encouraged to show or even acknowledge our own emotions so it's sometimes hard to get why your girl might be upset over something you would shrug off.
It's important not to overreact to her overreaction (haha weird i know), but right then when she's crying you can make the most difference for her. And talking about how you feel helps too, maybe not you (god knows guys just go get a beer together lol), but it helps her understand where you're coming from too.
Gluck man
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): omg same here bro. my girlfriend cries everyday and its usually over things that wouldnt make me even change in mood. sometimes we find people who can find the smallest things the end of the world.
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female
reader, cyndylu  +, writes (12 May 2011):
I am a girlfriend that cries when my bf gets mad, or i feel like im annoying him or because of an argument, i start to cry. Its not because I want to do it on purpose its because i can't control it.Its upseting to me that i can't control it, i want to.. but i can't!! i try to but the water works just come out, And when that happens my bf looks mad and annoyed and frustrated.. i wish i could stop i really do..the last thing i want to do is upset him and lose bf:( i really love him:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): My girlfriend feels the same way. we've been together for 2 years and when her hero Patrick Swayze died she cried for two weeks she wanted me to stay with her. Now there's a bad storm in our area and the winds are supose to get to 40 mph and she thinks there's gonna be a tornado and shes really scared and crying so I hold her kiss her and tell her I love her tell her its gonna be ok .
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): One way to make your girlfriend to stop crying is to HUG her. Don't do it too much or she'll get suspicious. In my opinion, the best way is to kiss her. I've done this before
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reader, rolfen  +, writes (10 June 2010):
 i got the same problem. I wouldnt mind cuddling with her and hugging her until it passes. Thing is it sounds like It's my fault ('-why are you crying?', '-because you dont want to stay close to me!'). And also I was expecting an evening watching a movie and having a good time, not watching her alternate between bouts of tears and rage, and struggling with myself to understand what's happening and how to deal with that.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010): I am in the exact same boat here. We have been dating for about 4 months, and I have tried my best to be patient, caring, understanding and supportive. I was raised not to show emotions, and I rarely do...something that irritates my gf to no end. According to her, I sound cold and disinterested when we talk. I love her, I tell her and I feel like I show her, but her overly emotional reactions to even the smallest bump in the road has worn my patience down to a nub. My friends and family are also very important to me and her emotional spats have begun to annoy those close to me as well. I have tried to eason with her logically, I have tried to appeal to common sence...I have eveen attempted to roll play, putting myself in her position and acting as I believe she is acting, not to mock her, but to show an accurate reflection of her behaviors. All to no avail. Any advice besides offering to help her pack?
-Big Show 98
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male
reader, whoknows123  +, writes (24 December 2009):
oh no...it's another one of those nights.Girlfriend is furious and taking the first trainhome tomorrow. One thing is certain: i completely identify with the problem you all speak of. I also feel this lack of sympathy you are speaking of. I'm not sure if there is anything to do...So far I have tried to explain to her firmly and logically my point of view. She feels she is doing me a favour (i'm from Canada) by coming on a family trip with me, hanging out at our cottage and going to my family's for x-mas. She seems particularly upset that I am in the habit of smoking up at night before bed. She really doesn't like it, but I insist that, when done in a fairly responsible manner and when I don't let it interfere with my studies, it's cool to smoke weed and I am free to do so (separate entity principle lol). Anyways, she cries often...all the time...at the slightest spat I have to wipe away a bucket of tears. I am often tender and kind trying to cater to her needs, but it all seems overshadowed by the fact that I smoke at night. Is this rational? I don't know. I am, however, certain that it has nothing to do with my own version of rationality. Anyways...advice? The blind leading the blind. I would say: be nice...and be sweet to her. Don't isolate her (like at a cottage) and don't make her feel excluded. If she decides to get angry...just weather out the storm. It will all be ok. If you break up, you run a short term risk of loneliness, but also stand a chance to increase your long term welfare by diversifying your love life.and...if worse comes to worse...pull out the big guns:striptease (note: this may backfire really badly)best regards,R
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): Women are way too sensitive in the first place. I've called my girlfriend everyday on my cell phone since we met. I missed one day and didn't call her until that evening. All hell broke loose. This is a sign of insecurity. Women are irrational and unreasonable in their thought process.I couldn't reason with her on the other end of the phone. She was in tears. I didn't know what to do because I was shocked at the reaction. All I can say is good luck bro.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): I have a girlfriend with a similar problem she doesn't stop crying either. Best thing you can do this is make sure she knows she is loved by you and you'll always be there for her no matter what. If she wants to tell you more let her but NEVER force her. If it does go on for a long time though and you've tried other things maybe she should get some sort of counselling. It can't be really healthy that much crying over a short period of time.
Either way good luck mate.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2005): i think you need to be a little more sensative than that she would understand if it happened to you dude
sure women can be emotional sometimes but thats part of the exprience you haft to know them get inside their head
and if she is haveing a day where she wants to pull her
hair out and yours too just hold her,cuddle her and tell her you lovr her over and over
p.s if this dosent work better get outa pillow and blanket
because you will be in the dog house
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2005): From your letter, it does sound like, she is overly excessive with her crying. If she cries every time she's feeling offended, slighted or criticized, or has a fight with a friend or with you, or she experiences normal life frustrations like illnesses, then, yes, she is overdoing it. While I agree that people who cry easily should feel glad they're able to be in touch with their feelings. But if they're crying a lot in response to minor everyday life challenges-then they should get some counselling. That kind of crying is an alarm bell that warns of some deep hurt or loss of self-esteem that is triggered whenever anyone says anything negative or she feels slighted. And I can understand how you are viewing her crying as conveying a lack of discipline & low self-worth.
On the other hand, 'normal' crying is good for us. Tears do reduce tensions, remove toxins, and increase the body's ability to heal itself. People who are able to cry and show feelings, may enjoy better physical and emotional health. Crying does allow the tears to do their own therapeutic work. Laughter and tears are two inherent natural medicines whereby we can reduce stress, let out negative feelings, and recharge. They truly are the body's own best resources.
Tears reflect a profound humanity. In fact, I would be 'more' concerned about people who don't cry. expressing one's feelings of compassion, sadness, fear, etc is common through crying. Keeping feelings bottled up and not expressing them is not always the most emotionally healthy way to exsist.
But I do agree, excessive crying over "little stuff" is not healthy either. You know her best and if her crying spells, are starting over minor things and she's experiencing feelings of worthless and being overwhelmed, etc, then please encourage her to see her doctor. There may be some underlying painful issues she is having a hard time dealing with. Remember, you love her..so be supportive and kind. I wish you both well. Take Care
Hugs,
Irish
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female
reader, jaime +, writes (7 September 2005):
It sound like your girlfriend is very emotional, has she always been? if she hasnt then its obvious that she needs you the most right now, has anything happened in her life? is that why shes so emotional. My advise is to just be there for her, perhaps ask her if anything has happened and why she cries so much, she may get angry but maybe she will get the idea and she will stop crying so much and give more attention to your relaltionship. Just do what you think is right, you are not being cold or looking down on her, your just confused, just be there for her always. Good luck.
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reader, Green_Eyez +, writes (7 September 2005):
I think you should have a good talk with your girlfriend as she's probably one of two things:
1) An attention seeking drama queen - in which case is she worth the hassle?
2) Stressed out - this could be making her weepy. Has she always been like this or is it a fairly recent development. Is there anything in her life which could be making her feel depressed or just a bit down? We all get ill, but don't generally react like this. It sounds to me like she might be a quite highly strung person, in which case you should try to work out what is the root cause of her upset and try to help her enjoy life a bit more.
Good Luck!
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female
reader, Delila +, writes (7 September 2005):
Your girlfriend sounds like an emotional and sensitive girl, some women may not agree with me but women in general cry, they cry when they don't feel well, they cry when they are sad, they cry when they watch sad movies, they cry during rows, they even cry when they are happy! Not all women of course but most romantic passionate women do! Crying makes us feel better not worse. Remember if you invalidate her feelings she will feel worse. I know its hard but try to just listen when she is upset, resist the urge to try to fix it or cheer her up!
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reader, kelly_ann +, writes (7 September 2005):
Awwwww pooor gal she seems very emontional (sori not a good speller lol) im quite the opposite and my bf crys more tham me. I find it quite hard to give him sympathy but thats just the person I am and seems you are to. The best thing u can do is try and hug and cuddle her show her some attention byt she also neeeds to realise that its just the person you are.
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