I just don't want to get hurt again, because it seems that's all women do to me.
Q. So i had a relationship with a girl for 2 and a half years and got totally fucked over by her, and am finally at a stage where i think i'm ready to move on. after about 6 months. I'm in my final year of uni, and have been interested in th...
A. 7 February 2011: Well you should either email or text her [ or maybe even handwrite a note just to make a change ] in which you explain what you say here about wanting her for more than just sex and will she please at least think about giving it a try ? Stress yo... (read in full...)
How to comfort my best friend?
Q. My best friend is 4 months pregnant and her boyfriend doesn't want the kid, he wants to put it up for adoption but she wants to keep it. she's very upset and crying about it. How should I comfort her ? ...
A. 7 February 2011: Realistically she is never going to get support from the guy - so she has to plan for having it on her own : how exactly is that going to work in practice ?
How can she - on her own - work, pay rent, put food on table, breastfeed the kid, et... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is scared to have sex! Any advice?
Q. I asked my girlfriend to have sex with me last night but she said she was scared and she didnt want to she was afraid it would hurt. its her first time and first time for me too. Any advice?...
A. 7 February 2011: Promise to take it slowly and then do so.
PLENTY of foreplay, also have lube available.
And maybe make sure she's on the pill and you use a condom to avoid her worrying about pregnancy / disease.
She hasn't said no definitiv... (read in full...)
Does positioning make a blow job feel different?
Q. Hey, i'd love some advice from guys and girls about initiating a blow job for my bf. When we have had oral sex in the past, it's always been lying down, in bed or on the floor. I've never given a blow job with him standing and me on my knees, and ...
A. 7 February 2011: It's nice to get variations.
You could shower together and when he's [ or you've ] soaped and rinsed his penis area you could drop to knees and get to work .
A finger just into his anus might not go amiss at the same time ?
And if you'r... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend, but having sex with him isn't as fun as it use to be. What should I do?
Q. When my boyfriend and I have sex. It usually is extremely amazing and leaves me breathless. However, lately, it's becoming like a routine, we have sex almost every day. But it's getting boring. I don't really get turned on by him anymore. Most of ...
A. 7 February 2011: Well what's changed exactly ?
You have to be specific.
Do you always use the same position ? You could try varying it.
Have you tried oral / anal ?
Maybe he feels pressured to do it every day......? Anyway you need t... (read in full...)
I'm guessing I should give up on this guy?
Q. Alright so i'm guessing maybe i should give up on this guy? I met him half a year ago, over summer he was a consistent customer coming into the place where i worked and buying food when he had work breaks. He'd always say hello and chat but not long ...
A. 6 February 2011: Yes give up on him and move on . You're just torturing yourself when it's obvious that if he wanted to see you / have sex with you he'd have asked you by now as you made your interest v v clear. Stop hurting yourself and meet other ... (read in full...)
Aggressive and dominating male in the bedroom - deep-seeded issues or fun fetish?
Q. Hi all, I'm a bit confused at the moment! I recently ended an 8 year relationship a few months ago and I know I am in no way ready for another. However, I have a high sex drive and it had been over six months since I had sex. Basically, again...
A. 6 February 2011: Well you either - on balance - enjoy the sex with him or you don't.
If you enjoy it and he's using condoms [ a must as you have no idea where else his penis goes ] why not just carry on enjoying it until you either don't enjoy it or you meet som... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to date her?
Q. theres this girl i work with. o feel quite compelled to date her. i turn 18 soonish, and shes only 16, is it wrong to date her even without sex, or is it reasonable with the age of consent being 16?...
A. 6 February 2011: I agree with DD below.
Also, plenty of girls like to have bfs a year or two older so there's nothing odd about your slight age difference.
If you like her try and get her !
And if you don't succeed well put it down to experience and m... (read in full...)
Anal sex and anal bleach?
Q. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend and i want to try anal but im scared. The area around my ass hole and vagina is quite dark, does this honestly matter? im worried that when it comes rouund to it he may be put off. Also, i know this may so...
A. 6 February 2011: Lucky bf.
Make sure he uses a lubricated condom plus plenty of lube on the tip of the condom and in yr hole.
And ask him to try introducing his penis as gradually as possible [ tho' that will be difficult for him but he should try. ]
... (read in full...)
How do I tell people I am gay??.... No one knows!!
Q. Im gay and iv always known that but no 1 else does how do i come out????? plz help...
A. 6 February 2011: Often they kind of 'know' already so you might not be telling them anything new.
If there are gay teen social groups in your area you should check them out and make friends that way.
If no actual groups then maybe online as 2nd best option.... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant but he wants to wait to have a baby!
Q. I'm 24 yrs old I've been with my boyfriend for 4 yrs and we are still going strong however I got pregnant and he doesn't want me to have it atm he wants to wait a few more years till he's out of med school ...
A. 6 February 2011: Well HOW pregnant are you ?
If it's just a few weeks you are in time for a pill termination.
If longer it's more complicated but don't forget the adoption option.
It's all very well saying it's the woman's decision but do you want to bring... (read in full...)
I haven't cheated before but I want to be with a different man!
Q. Im currently in a relationship. I've been with my fiance for 8 years. Everything is great But he's not that adventurous in bed like I am. The sex has decreased since we had a child, not because we lost interest but because my son usually ...
A. 6 February 2011: Well if penis-in-vagina isn't doing it for you any more what exactly would you want your fiance' to do with you instead ?
How do you know he wouldn't be up for it if you haven't asked him ?
A lot of men harbour a desire to do anal but hold ba... (read in full...)
Am I masturbating too much?
Q. I have a girlfriend as of now, but I still masturbate at least once, usually twice per day. All told, between my time with her and my own time I'm getting off about 13-16 times per week. I know that this may qualify as over-masturbation, but I'm not ...
A. 6 February 2011: You're getting orgasm approx twice a day : that's not too much.
Sex and orgasms are nature's way of dealing with your hard-ons.
Stop worrying and enjoy your good fortune .
... (read in full...)
What can I do about my parents negativity?
Q. My parents constantly nag me about dating. They like my boyfriend they just don't like that I'm "wasting my younger years being in a relationship because there is plenty of time in the future for that." I'm 20 and I've been dating my boyfriend since ...
A. 5 February 2011: Personally I think they might have a point and that having an open relationship with yr bf / trying out other bfs for a couple of years would be a safer foundation for marriage or whatever in the future.
You're entitled to feel differen... (read in full...)
Husband got another woman pregnant and says its a mistake!
Q. my husband of two years (bf for 4 years) he got another woman pregnant he told me it was a mistake and he still loves me what should i do?...
A. 5 February 2011: Well if you don't have a kid with him and you're sure you're not pregnant by him I'd get out of the marriage pronto.
If the other woman isn't going to have an abortion then he has this constant reminder / connection with her when he sees his... (read in full...)
Pregnant and the guy has now turned his phone off!
Q. Dearcupids! I really dont know what to do, im almost 19 and i have been single for just under 2 years, my first love broke me in more ways that one and ive not really looked for a guy since. But theres been this one guy, we've never been a couple, ...
A. 5 February 2011: You've been stupid - regard it as a life lesson. He is not going to be any help at all so stop wasting your time begging.
You need to do some serious thinking about a termination. You would still just be in time for a pill abortion but not ... (read in full...)
Does he go soft because I am too wet?
Q. So during intercourse i get very wet. My boyfriend says hes never been with someone who gets as wet as i do. I find it kind of embarrassing when this happens, where ever we are having sex the surface gets soaked. My boyfriend tends to go soft during ...
A. 5 February 2011: Well what does he say is causing him to go soft ? And do you get this wet with other boys ? If not maybe it's sort of a compliment to him even if it's unwelcome.
Some lube is good to help the sliding up and down but I can imagine an awful l... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes anal sex but it hurts
Q. My boyfriend and I have been talking about anal sex since after we had vaginal sex. So, it's been about six months now... We had anal sex (barely) once before and it hurt like hell. I ended up crapping blood for a couple days after that. That was ...
A. 29 December 2010: You have advice here from the feminist perspective - which is fair enough. You decide whose advice you want to follow..... Here's some from that of a guy who totally understand and sympathises with yr bf ; and also thinks he's really luck... (read in full...)
Should I open that forbidden door or play it safe?
Q. hello im needing advice. im 24 and a parent to a 4 yr old boy. im also married and have been with my partner since i was 18. hes 30 yrs old. my dilemma is that he wants another baby. he feels hes ready and i do too but is it wrong for me to want ...
A. 28 December 2010: It's a good time for you to have a really serious, long time overdue, talk with yr husband about what you think is missing from your life.
Maybe a decent compromise would be for you to have some of the clubbing / dinner parties etc for say ... (read in full...)
His penis just won't go in!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have tried to have sex loads of times but his penis just wont go in!! after trying for a while he gets freaked out and goes soft, its not because im not in the mood because im always really turned on and so is he. we do foreplay ...
A. 26 December 2010: wELL are you sexually turned on by him ? When he's naked and you're caressing his ass does that excite you and get you wet ?
Get him to open your vagina in stages...... first get him to put loads of lube on the labia and esp inside your vag... (read in full...)
1st time sex--my friend told me it hurts alot!
Q. Does sex hurt the first time? I'm asking this because my friend told me that it hurts A LOT! I'm scared now....
A. 26 December 2010: It doesn't HAVE to hurt, and certainly not 'A LOT'
What matters is if you are comfortable and relaxed and you really want to do it with the guy in question.
That's the first thing. Then you need somewhere totally private where yo... (read in full...)
I want to go to counseling, my wife wants a separation!
Q. Dear cupid, I have a situation that I would like to get some advice on. My wife and I have hit a rough patch in our marriage. We have changed all of our focus to our four children and spend no time to rebuild our marriage. My wife admitted to having ...
A. 23 December 2010: What are the practicalities of a trial separation ?
Ie - does she have a job ? Do you have the financial resources to fund two households ?
I would be tempted to say - 'well I don't want a trial separation as it happens, I think we should ... (read in full...)
What do I do when my boyfriend flirts with a lot of girls??
Q. Ok,supposedly this guy is supposed to be my boyfriend but he is known around school as the biggest flirt. I am the type of girl who gets serious when I'm in a relashonship. I really like this guy be cause he acts different around me but all the ...
A. 23 December 2010: Either accept that he is ( or wishes to ) 'play the field' and you are NOT his exclusive and sole GF ( and get what pleasure / kudos you get from the relationship you do have )
OR kiss him a sweet goodbye and go looking for someone who just... (read in full...)
She cuts short her time with me (her friend) to see her boyfriend...
Q. Hi, Short and simply, I am a man and I have a friend who is a woman. She says I am her close friend, but she also has a boyfriend. Now, sometimes we are out together and she says she has to go because she has to meet her boyfriend. Or she cuts sho...
A. 23 December 2010: Yes you are wrong.
She is entitled to prefer the BF's company.
On the other hand you are entitled to expect her to stick to agreed meetings - eg if you have a dinner or lunch or whatever arranged with her you are entitled to expect her to... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is lying to me about smoking
Q. My boyfriend is lying to me about smoking. The only thing I ever asked him to do for me was to quit smoking, which was back in October. He's admitted to taking a few drags from friends' cigarettes, but I've found a few packs since then. Each time ...
A. 23 December 2010: Oh just give up on it.
He has to want to stop for himself and he knows it's a stupid habit to keep up.
But it's not illegal or immoral. If that's all he does wrong ( do you get great sex ? and is he good company even with his pants on ? )... (read in full...)
Help me understand mu boyfriend's mother please
Q. Please help me understand my boyfriend's mum! she tells my boyfriend he is useless etc., and moans at him when he doesn't do a job she wants doing straight away, and complains that my boyfriend and I are on the phone too much (all 7 months of our ...
A. 23 December 2010: Oh stop worrying about her and her attitude.
You are not welcome there so just don't go.
Are you welcome at the Dad's house ? Well go there instead.
If not do YOU have a house your bf can be welcomed to and spend the holidays at ?
If ... (read in full...)
My boy friend's asking for closure
Q. My boyfriend just broke up with me two days ago and now he wants to meet to "answer any questions we have about us or any clarification." why? What does this mean??...
A. 23 December 2010: I would reply ( and mean) :
" Dear X,
Thank you for your message.
I did not seek the breakup of our relationship, you did.
It having ended - it has ended, and I see zero point in raking over the embers.
I am glad for the good ti... (read in full...)
I'm no one's soul mate and it hurts that I have no personal life
Q. My mother passed away this year from cancer. She had been sick for 3 years and I had taken care of her. In the process, I hadn't given any consideration to my personal life or any of my own needs. Now that she's gone, I realize that I HAVE no ...
A. 23 December 2010: First I do second the commendation of Mr Kermit's thoughts which are brimful with good ideas. But you knew that.
Second, don't get hung up on the apparent injustice of your female friend's doting on a guy who is not worthy of her or whatever... (read in full...)
Disappointed my boyfriend bought me t-shirts instead of a promise ring for Christmas!
Q. Its coming up to xmas and for a month my bf of 4 months has been asking me what I want for xmas. He suggested a budget of £50 and I agreed. I hinted I wanted him to get me a promise ring, he soon seemed to forget within a week and would say ahh ...
A. 23 December 2010: Well much worse would be if he had bowed to the pressure so that he pretended he was ready for the additional commitment a 'promise ring' implies.
It's not the money value of the ring : it's what it is supposed to mean.
It means zilch if h... (read in full...)
My boyfriend moved in with a man who can't stand me!
Q. My bf has recently moved in with a guy mate of his. Problem is I don't like the guy mate. He ignores me, won't look at me, rarely talks to me and says things to my bf like "pity you have a gf else we could *insert activity here*". I'm a really nice ...
A. 23 December 2010: Well people can take a dislike to others for no obvious reason : don't expect to reason it out with your bf's roommate or for him to change.
Solution is just never go round there again. Meet the bf at yours or outside generally - if he says ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mom I'm pregnant?
Q. i am 14 years old and 4 weeks pregnant. the father is 19. no one knows should i tell my mom since it was consensual? what about the dad? i have only seen him once that night. should i tell him? would he care?...
A. 23 December 2010: Of course you should tell both her and him. ( He needs a head start to start running from the Police ).
Meanwhile you need to think urgently about getting an abortion.
At four weeks you can still do it thru the pill method.
Leave it any long... (read in full...)
How do I get my family to toss my fat sister out of the house?
Q. Hi. I know this probably sounds stupid asking for help and advice on this question but i have to. as u all know christmas is approaching. my question is how do i get my family to toss my fat sister out of the house. she is crazy and selfish and ...
A. 21 December 2010: It's not your house.
If you don't like how your parents run it [ with compassion by the sound of it ] then you get out.
... (read in full...)
I am ashamed of my looks...
Q. I am a 20 year old guy and I am gay. I have always been Dusky which made me feel ugly as I'm usually attracted to fair guys and It always makes me think that a fair guy will never fall in love with me. I started using a skin lighting cream which ...
A. 21 December 2010: For heaven's sake stop using those creams. Didn't you notice what happened to Michael Jackson's looks after he did all that nonsense of skin lightening ?? He looked like death warmed up! Physical attractiveness is part only of t... (read in full...)
Why did he get so moody when I invited my friend over too?
Q. ok so my parents went away for the weekend and my boyfriend was going to stay over without my parents knowing, anyway i asked my best friend to stay over as well but when my boyfriend came round and she was here he got all moody. then when i told ...
A. 21 December 2010: Yes you did do something wrong - you allowed him to expect it would be just the two of you in the house - no parents for a whole weekend...... obviously he got his expectations aroused that pants off activities were in view...... then you ... (read in full...)
Why was he so quiet during oral sex?
Q. I hadn't seen my boyfriend of 11 months, in 6 days. When we met up, I thought I'd surprise him with a blow job, our first, and because I was on my heaviest day of period. I did not feel comfy with regular sex. It was amazing for me, and I hope for ...
A. 21 December 2010: Sound like you both had a nice time . Sounds like you both had a nice time . [ So nice he came twice !! ].
Don't overanalyse it just enjoy......
One variation you could try would be oral with him on top astride your breasts....... (read in full...)
She doesn't enjoy sex, but I do.
Q. My girlfriend doesnt like sex but I do. Ive tried making it interesting and fun for us both, but she is just not interested in sex. She was like this when we met but I thought she was just shy. She will have sex, but she is doing it for me rather...
A. 20 December 2010: Essentially you seem to be getting from her not really 'sex' but a form of masturbation......she's going thru the physical motions necessary for you to slide it in and eventually orgasm but it must be really dispiriting to be made always aware ... (read in full...)
She becomes defensive when I talk to her
Q. i meet this girl a year ago anyway we now live together i pay all the bills and take care of her and her 2 kids she says she loves but do,s not sleep with me and always wants money and leaves me for awhile comes back and hides in the bathroom and ...
A. 20 December 2010: If what you describe is completely truthful and w/o exaggeration then run a mile, or many miles from the situation you are in.
She is obviously using you - presumably when it started you were flattered to have the attention of a younger ... (read in full...)
Is she just being friendly or is there more to it?
Q. Hi all, nearly 22 year old male and never been on a date etc. A few nights ago I went out with my coursemates including this girl I didn't know very well. This girl and I got on pretty well. She asked me to dance with her (I refused at first...
A. 19 December 2010: She's gone as far as a girl can reasonably do without actually undoing your belt and unzipping your pants.
Get in there quick before she changes her mind or concludes you are either boring or gay.
... (read in full...)
I miss talking to him and wonder if I overreacted?
Q. I met this guy a few months ago after moving to a new city and we seem to really hit it off. When I first met him, I just got out of a relationship and wasn't looking for anything other than friendship. I made this very clear to him. We never got ...
A. 19 December 2010: No you didn't over-react : that is a hateful trait - basically a very selfish , uncaring attitude to friends : my time is important, yours of no value.
You did abs right; don't contact him. Move on and see other friends, m and f.
Sh... (read in full...)
My Dad's selfish, Mom's stubborn & my family's full of spite & I'm hurting. Help please
Q. Im sorry if this turns out to be a long post but I have quite a lot i'd like to get off my chest. I honestly dont have anyone to talk to about things that are going on in my life. I do have friends but theyre not that close where i would start ta...
A. 19 December 2010: Well it's sad that they divorced and that the dad you looked up to turned out not to be the perfect dad after all......but the question now is how you move on with the rest of your life and enjoy your own chances for happiness.
On a practica... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend abusive???
Q. My boyfriend and have been dating for amost a month, we talked for 4 months before dating. My boyfriend and I are both sixteen... I would say my boyfriend and I are a lot more mature than most our age, being that we have both been through a lot. So ...
A. 19 December 2010: He sounds really mean.
Dump him now and go looking to boys who will appreciate you, and not just for the sex. [ Tho they will all want that of course.]
They do exist.... (read in full...)
| *ivi's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ivi has
added them and they have added *ivi!
|
