A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 24 yrs old I've been with my boyfriend for 4 yrs and we are still going strong however I got pregnant and he doesn't want me to have it atm he wants to wait a few more years till he's out of med school Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rivi +, writes (6 February 2011):
Well HOW pregnant are you ?
If it's just a few weeks you are in time for a pill termination.
If longer it's more complicated but don't forget the adoption option.
It's all very well saying it's the woman's decision but do you want to bring up a child in poverty or acrimony ?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): You don't say if you want the baby or not. This really is your call, you have to do what is right for you.
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A
female
reader, golddigger99 +, writes (6 February 2011):
 This is a sad situation, and no one can make this tough decision but you. My opinion though...he was man enough to get you pregnant, so he needs to be man enough to live up to his actions. Everyone forgets that having sex can come with consequences, one of those is getting pregnant. He needs to take responsibility for his actions and support you and your decision. Also, women become single mothers all of the time. If you are wanting to keep this child, then do so, even if it costs you your relationship with the father. A child is a gift from God, and not something that should be taken forgranted. Your hard work put into raising a child will be rewarded many times over.To me, it sounds like he doesn't want you to have the child because it isn't a convienent time for him. He is being selfish. There are also many couples out there who would be more than willing to take in a child. Adoption is always an option, and if you aren't willing to cut all ties with your child, consider asking for an open adoption, that way the child always knows who her real parents are.I really wish you the best of luck in trying to figure out which option is best for you.
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A
female
reader, pinkkisses24  +, writes (6 February 2011):
 I would suggest for you to let him know that you are pregnant and then you both decided the necessary steps and actions you would like to take with the pregnancy. I understand that he wants to wait until he is out of medical school but, you are pregnant now therefore telling him sooner would be better.
good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): Usually this sort of question would gets several posts about defending a "woman's choice."
You have only spoken about your boyfriend's opinion and said nothing about your own.
It is your choice after all, don't you have an opinion about it?
I am a woman and probably fall in the pro-choice end of spectrum though I've never been faced with your situation personally. I can tell you however medical school is brutal enough without child rearing involved. I see his perspective and why he would suggest that. What are your opinions and ambitions for the future with or without a kid?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): Hello,
It's a hard decision to have a child if you're not on the same page with each other about this.
How do you feel about it?
Do you see the two of you making a life together?
Just keep in mind that your fertility will start to decline rapidly after age 35, some women go into early menopause also, while he will have the opportunity to have children for much longer than that.
If you have an abortion or opt for adoption and you don't want to, you will resent him at the least- it may ruin your relationship.
If you haven't talked about marriage and family at all, I would be concerned about that.
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A
female
reader, just a female  +, writes (6 February 2011):
 ok well hes not being unfair here, it really probably would be better to wait untill a baby could have to parents there for it and both parents ready to have it.ok but your already pregnant so together you need to talk about the option of abortion. what you didnt say was if you wanted the baby? if you want the baby then thats what will happen unless you make a joint decision about this.think about this though. 1)do you have a job that will be enough to support the baby?2) you said ur BF was in med school, he might have big loans to pay off and cant afford to keep the baby3) do you reallly want to bring a baby into this world without the willing acceptance of both parents?time to sit down and talk about this you know what eh thinks now time to tell him what you thinkall the best
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