A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I asked my girlfriend to have sex with me last night but she said she was scared and she didnt want to she was afraid it would hurt. its her first time and first time for me too. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (7 February 2011):
Promise to take it slowly and then do so.
PLENTY of foreplay, also have lube available.
And maybe make sure she's on the pill and you use a condom to avoid her worrying about pregnancy / disease.
She hasn't said no definitively, just needs you to be considerate in the build up to it.....
Enjoy.........
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2011): My advice is don't sleep with her until you are married. Believe me, stds, pregnancy, getting emotionally attached when by looking at your age, you will probably not end up with her in the long run. One of you will get hurt. Stay a virgin until you meet your wife. Trust me on this one.
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A
female
reader, BeccaLeigh +, writes (7 February 2011):
If she's scared, then that means she's not ready. You just have to wait for the right time, and you'll know when it happens. (:
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2011): It says you are a female. So presumably if you ARE, it wouldn't hurt unless you were using toys?
I'm assuming this is wrong and that you're actually a male from the way the question is posed.
Either way, if you're male or female,
a) Don't force her into it
b) don't push it, if she isn't ready she won't ever stop feeling scared about it
c) Talk about it. Tell her you will be gentle (and you should be! very gentle)
d) Make sure you make it sweet and romantic
e) If she agrees to try, and chickens out half way towards the goal, no matter HOW much you want it, accept it and hold no grudges. Give her time.
f) Kisses and foreplay x10. Make each other excited, everything will flow easier if you both really really want it.
g) communication. Talk over all your fears. express some of yours. i'm sure you probably have some.
Goodluck.
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