A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a guy for nearly five months and up until the last few days all has been going really well.He has always been really good at initiating contact and texts me loads of times in the day. He will regularly text me to tell me what he's doing or what film he is watching etc and he tells me he misses me when we are not together.But in the last 4/5 days I have hardly heard from him. I have sent him texts which he has either ignored or replied to hours later with an excuse as to why he has not responded earlier. The last 2 days he hasn't texted me at all. I have asked him (in person) if there is something wrong and if we are ok and he has said there is nothing wrong and we are fine. But I am beginning to feel like a stalker texting him first all the time and waiting so long for a meaningless reply.It's not as if we are teenagers so I don't understand why he would reduce his level of contact so markedly yet tell me in person there is nothing wrong.Any ideas please. Is he losing interest?
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female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (18 July 2011):
 Are you in a LDR? How often do you get to see eachother and spend some real quality filled time? Did you always text more than talk?
Every relationship has a time where it "dies back" but does not necessarily mean its over. This could just be a comfort zone where he does not feel the need to "woo" or "win" you over anymore.
Relax and back off. Make yourself busy. You already talked about it. Judge him by his actions.
It may feel extremely frustrating especially since you had this running commentary from him all time.
Give it some time and base your relationshp on actual time spent together, not texts.
Best Wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2011): Ok this could be any number of reasons. He could have been the one doing most of the contacting and after pretty much making it clear he liked you by saying he misses you, he could be just testing the water for a few days to see if you miss him,by observing your reaction, how often you texted him since he became distant. Yes its childish but they really do this, because their egos are delicate and they need constant reassuring.It could just be what he said to you, maybe he has been busy, there could be alot going on in his mind that could be totally nothing to do with you but he doesnt know you that well enough to say or doesnt want to bother you.Maybe he has lost interest. This is especially likely if the two of you were sleeping together, it might be a case of he got what he wanted, you served your purpose and now he's bored. In this case he's just a player and you're better off.Finally he could genuinely like you and find himself growing closer to you but be a major commitment phobe so he's giving you the brush off and running for the hills. In this case you're also better off.It could be any of the above, but I would stop texting and contacting him, you've done enough now he should know you're interested by this stage. Honestly, wait it out when he sees you're not contacting him he will think you've moved on and you will hear from him. If not forget him, you'll be better off.You've done all you can, so content yourself with - whats meant for you won't pass you.Good Luck.x
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (18 July 2011):
 Well, there has certainly been a change in the last 5 days. That is obvious. You have asked him and he says all fine. Something might be happening in his life that needs his attention? That's a possibilty.
Have you noticed anything going on prior to this? Changes at work? New people on scene that he has mentioned?
The problem here is we can only keep guessing.
For you, I would now wait to see if he initiates some contact. You have tried on a few occasions so now it is over to him. He might be slowly pulling away but unfortunately you will have to wait this out. See if he contacts now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2011): Could be a number of things, honeymoon period over, football season begining, busy at work, RSI in texting fingers - doesn't have to mean he's losing interest
I would suggest you stop initiating contact and see what happens - let him miss and chase you
Good luck
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