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How do I recapture the lost feelings?

Tagged as: Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 June 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, *fyoudontmind writes:

I met the girl of my dreams.

Coming up on over a year together, I am suddenly over her.

No emotional feelings what so ever. I am not even remotely attracted to her...

we are rarely intimate. I dont feel it.

How do I ressurect the emotions.

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A female reader, QZ United States +, writes (29 June 2010):

QZ agony auntPeople change, and sometimes that means that couples grow a part. Who your "dream girl" was ten years ago might differ from now and might differ from you "dream girl" ten years from now. If you don't have feelings the best thing to do is to take what you've learned from the relationship (good and bad) and how you grew as a person, and move on. It's not fair or right to either of you to stay in a relationship where your feelings aren't the same anymore.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (29 June 2010):

TasteofIndia agony auntEmotions can't be resurrected. You can't force yourself to feel something. You can do as much as you can to try to reignite the flame, but if it's not happening, it's not happening.

You can try to remember why you fell in love with her in the first place, try to get back into dating and reconnecting that way. More dates and fun will inspire more kissing and connection. But, if you are simply not in love with her and you just aren't feeling the relationship, it's only fair to her to break up with her.

Keeping her in a relationship that your heart isn't in isn't fair. So try, and if it's just not working - it's time for a break. Good luck, sweet!

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