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Looking for a hextrosexual relationship, am I being niave??

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Question - (2 July 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 3 July 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello this is a question that I have to ask, me and a guy i know were talking the other day (this guy hastnt been the first person to say this) he came up with the theory 'all females are bisexual' and it got me thinking...

I am a 22 year old male and to be honest about 60% of the girls I have dated have been bisexual, or have had at least some kind of homosexual tendencies and its got me wondering on things like relationships ect...

if we was to back 40 years ago I am pretty sure attitudes towards homosexuality were very different and i dont know if this is true but it certainly seems there was less homosexuals around then ( I'm not saying they didn't exist back then, homosexuality has been around snce the dawn of time)

if the vast majority of females are bisexual or have the potential to be bisexual, then doestnt that basically mean that monogamous/serious relationships are doomed to fail? that the classic guy meets girl..gets married buys a house has children and raises a family situation a thing of the past?

am i viewed 'abnormal' or asking for too much for wntin to have a hetrosexual partner and being in a monogomouus relationship..or am i too old fashioned and not 'cool' enough?

one last thing i would want to know is since when did homosexuality start to get more accepted and when did it start to become so wide spread?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

OK, for the record I am not homophobic and apologize if my question comes across as offensive to some, even though i didnt say anything in my question that i would interpret as offensive..

however saying that i would say that i would border on the lines of being 'biphobic' for a few reasons...one it seems to me that bisexuals are the most likely 'group' if you will who express there sexuality in a irresponsible way (you always hear stories of bi's having threesomes, or hooking up with there friends or being unable to have a serious relationship)

to be honest i have met very few people who are 'truely' at some stage they settle down or at least end up picking some preferece towards a gender. I actually blame a lot of this on the media...its almost as seen as 'trendy' for 2 chicks to make out

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A female reader, EbonyBlossom United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2010):

EbonyBlossom agony auntIf all women were secretly lesbians, then your

theory would be true. But bisexuals like guys as much as they like girls (averagely.) Plus, ever heard of a thing called love? Something that emotionally binds you to someone or practically your whole existance? That is the reason why these relationships don't fail. Anyway, the term bisexual is used very loosely. So many girls say they are bisexual to get attention or because they have ended up getting hammered and doing stuff with another girl at a party, or even to make guys jealous. I highly doubt that 60% women are bisexual.

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A female reader, celtic_tiger United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2010):

celtic_tiger agony auntI have to agree with Caring Guy. The thought of another woman just makes me creep and feel physically sick. Urgh. Each to their own I suppose but for me its a No no no no no. If a guy was to suggest anything like that, they would probably get a swift kick in the shins. I would be highly offended and upset.

I like men. I am a hot blooded woman, and a man is what does it for me.

You are perfectly normal, and you are not wanting too much. In fact I would venture to suggest it is the girls who are abnormal. But maybe that is because I just cant understand WHY they would want to be like that? It really makes my skin crawl.

I think it is porn that has made this kind of behaviour more "acceptable" and more common. Sadly young people are led to believe this is the norm and that everyone has secret homosexual or bi tendancies. And it really isnt true. You shouldnt believe everything you see in a porn movie, because they really are not true! Teenagers are brainwashed into believing that is how they "should" behave. It is a similar trend to the pubic hair/no hair that we see so often on DC. Boys see hairless women as the norm and get all grossed out when they really come across a normal woman. This makes the girl feel inadequate, and they end up making themselves look like a pornstar in order to appeal to the guys. Its wrong.

Stick to your guns. I wouldnt want to be with a man who thought it was ok for me to fancy girls as well.

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A male reader, C. Grant Canada +, writes (3 July 2010):

C. Grant agony auntThat made me laugh. There may be lots of bi women out there, but not all. My wife is normally very easy going, but is seriously offended if she sees any girl/girl stuff. She's totally hetrosexual.

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A female reader, Blue Sahara  United States +, writes (2 July 2010):

Blue Sahara  agony auntWell I don't think the majority of women are bisexual. I think the majority of women feel sexual aroused by things that they would never try.

Men are so different then women when it comes to arousal. A straight man knows he is straight cause he has no arousal at the thought of being with another man. But they have done studies and found that just isn't true for women. Women are aroused by sexual situations, regardless of their sexual orientation. So women showed arousal even at things like men having sex with men. Women even show arousal to things like watching animals mate, that most men didn't register as being aroused by that. So I think a lot of women say they are "bisexual" because they find women sexy but have never in their life had a sexual relationship with a woman. And given the chance, probably wouldn't.

But yes women do seem to be more willing to have sex with other women because women are very influenced not by just sex but emotional attachment.

But no, I don't think all women are bisexual. And I'm sure there are many women who want what you want.

So I wouldn't get too worried about it just yet.

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A male reader, Frank B Kermit Canada +, writes (2 July 2010):

Frank B Kermit agony auntI can tell you from my experience in the swinger culture, and with polyamory open relationships, where people have the freedom to have sex with who ever they want, that NO, not every woman is bisexual.

There are some women that simply have zero interest in exploring being with another woman, even if they are encouraged or have ample opportunity to experiment with it.

I was taught that same type of thinking as well, and all I learned from it was "Beware Your Mentors".

There are women who are very lesbian

There are women who are on the bi sexual range where they have some interest in both genders physically and or emotionally

There are women who are very heterosexual

There are also women who are asexual, and those who's sexual orientation is defined as BDSM/Fetish

What is important is you define for yourself what you can and can not handle, and seek the kind of partner that you feel will best be for you long term.

Hope this helps.

-Frank

Author, Alternative Relationship Choices

Author, Making Monogamy Work

http://www.franktalks.com

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A female reader, QZ United States +, writes (2 July 2010):

QZ agony auntOf course that type of relationship exists. People don't like to work at them, however, because they require work and are hard. And not every woman is bisexual, although women tend to be more comfortable with their bodies than men. So your answer is yes, they do exist.

And being homosexual became more widely accepted, I'd say, in the 90's, although I could be mistaken. And it's not that it's "wide-spread", it isn't an infectious disease. More people are willing to come out nowadays because there is a better attitude toward their community.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010):

No because alot of guys are actually bi, just it's less socially acceptable in their eyes to admit they're curious.

I think it could also be a maturity thing, by the time most girls reach about 30 I reckon they would just want to settle down with a guy

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