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How do I get past him having a child from a previous relationship?

Tagged as: Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 June 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 June 2010)
A female Australia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Any got any tip on how to get past my parnter having a child from a previous relationship?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010):

Yes. make sure the same thing doesn't happen to you, until such time as he marries you and you are both ready for kids.

The answer to getting past this is very simple, perhaps so much so that it eluded you.

You either accept the situation or you break up with him and move on to another guy. Keeping this as an open problem in your relationship is pointless. Obsessing about it will do NOTHING. So either accept it or move on.

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A female reader, ctds001 United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2010):

Honey

It is not a sin to not want a man without children.

If this upsets you too much then finish and find someone 100% with No kids.

Sometimes it's better for all involved. Think careful about what you really want for the future!

Good Luck x

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A female reader, Deema United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2010):

Deema agony auntYes - acceptance, acceptance, acceptance. Thats all you can do. That is the fact. He has a child with someone else. That means contact with the child and its mother. If you can't do acceptance then don't go there. I've seen too many relationships really suffer because the new partner is too insecure to handle another woman in her man's life, even if it is only for reasons of having a child between them. You can't undo that fact, so like I said, accept it or move on. Good luck.

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A female reader, QZ United States +, writes (28 June 2010):

QZ agony auntFirst you have to realize that your partner, if they're a good parent, will always love this child and have him/her in their life. It's hard to accept that, but if you really love this man/woman, you should embrace the fact that they have a child.

What will make your relationship even better is if you want to spend time with this child and accept them into your family as well. And yes, this child will take up a lot of your partner's time, but you have to be willing to accept this fact.

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