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I fear my husband isn't attracted to me anymore and is having an affair! Is anyone like me?

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 July 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 July 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I'm a housewife since our son was born 5 years ago. Taking meds to get preg for 2nd baby.I'm tired most of the time(due to medicines i think)I'm overweight and I know my husband is not attracted to me though we have sex twice a week.

I'm scared of roller coasters, all water sports, skydiving anything adventurous(husband loves all that). I'm very insecure and think my husband might be having affair.

I don't do much except cooking and basic cleaning around the house.

I do spend some very good times with my son. that is the only thing which I like doing.

Is there anyone else who is like me out there?

View related questions: affair, insecure, overweight

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009):

I'm sure there are hundreds of other man and women in a similar position but since you're asking I think you don't fancy it and want a change.

I would seriously question taking the pills you are if they are making you despondent. Stop taking them for now and talk to your doctor about their merits.

If you feel you are overweight do something about it. Don't just belittle yourself because you think hubby finds you unappealing(could be true). I've just found out about the Shangri-La diet and will start on it as soon as I read the book with all the details. Get a physical to find out if your health is OK. Check your thyroid gland.

Take some night courses to gain other interests to partake with your husband perhaps. A cooking course? Latin dancing? There are myriads of ways to feel rejuvenated with new interests that you will not find dangerous. You could even take a language course before going of on vacation to a new and faraway place.

I think you should not consider your child but you say that is the only activity you enjoy. This is definitively a warning sign that your husband could be alienated from you if you only are taking care of his child and not the relationship.

Be strong and renew your self.

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A male reader, quarky United Kingdom +, writes (27 July 2009):

quarky agony auntI know a couple married for 32 years-he's active, does sports, she stays at home, does housework, cleaning and actually is famed for her love of doing the washing! He's fit, she's not but they accept each other for who they are and are still in love.

32 years, and despite some major ups and downs, still going strong.

You say your husband no longer finds you attractive, how do you know this? It could be that you're insecurity is affecting him too -he may just be reacting to that.

The fact that you look after your child and house and husband is in itself something you should be very proud of-and i hope he is too!

Maybe you should talk this out-tell him how you feel, I think you may find that it's not as bad as you think.

And by the way, twice a week doesn't sound like he finds you unattractive!

I do hope you work it out.

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