| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Help, i think im in love with my boss. Last xmas we slept together and yes it was awkard after we came back to work purely on my part because i felt guilty as he has a wife. I know its wrong and nothing has happened between us since. But he gets jealous when he knows ive been out with guys or see what outfits im wearing when i go out with the girls (as the shops arent too far from work). What can i do. He is 12 years older than me as well. He is on holiday at the moment and i have missed him like crazy.
View related questions:
jealous, my boss, on holiday Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): i am married with grown children and I love my husband. I am having feelings for my female boss and have been involved in a lesbian relationship about 30 years ago (before my marriage.) Please help as my heart yearns for her and would like for her to know without destroying my heterosexual relationship with my husband. i know i'm a mess.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): Slight variation but I've always fancied by boss. I'm gay and I found out recently after a drunken fumble at a pub that he's bisexual (but mainly straight) but is currently with a woman. We had a lovely time at work in a quiet room following the night out but now I find it difficult to stop thinking about him. I miss him when he's not around but when he is you're just sat there thinking 'why isn't he trying to arrange something...a night out etc so we can get some time on our own again'?
Best thing is to not mix work and relationships together as being at work can give you valuable space between you and your partner which makes seeing them more special. Work should be a sanctuary, somewhere to escape to when things get emotionally messy. It's a nightmare when the emotion mess is waiting for you there!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): Hi, I am also in love with my boss. I have a boyfriend who I like too. My boyfriend recently started to work where I work, so this makes everything alot harder for me. Sometimes I am confused about my feelings. Feeling regret is common when I think about his wife and children. He loves his kids, but he claims he is never happy around his wife. I know I am not the only woman in his life besides his wife. He likes me but I doubt he loves me. I am also significantly younger than him ( 17yrs). I am thinking of resigning. I think you should too.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): Yes I was in the same situation with my boss a few years ago. He was separated from his wife, though, before we started sleeping together. He's 11 years older than me, and I can tell you that he just used me for sex, and oral sex in his car. I told him I loved him, and though he said he had feelings for me, he did not love me back. I ended up with my heart broken, and probably still am in love with him to this day. I am no longer employed with the company, and I no longer talk to him. I can't imagine any situation such as mine or yours where it could work out. You will end up with your heart broken. There are so many wonderful men out there, don't waste your time.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): hi. I'm 25y/o and my boss is courting me. His 50 y/o, divorced with 1 daughter (17y/o) and 3 sons (age range: 27,25,22) his so sweet that one night when he asked me out with his friends we end up kissing. And now his courting me and im afraid im falling in love as well. His so sweet!!! Im worried that his kids wont accept our relationship if ever...help... please give me some advice.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): Same situation. I love my secretary and she says she loves me. She has a boyfriend. I'm separated. 13 year age difference. Our affair has been going 3 years.
For the sake of her relationship she is going to change jobs. I'm heart-broken, sick. I can't say that she seems all that happy either.
I miss her when I travel or if she is on leave. She says the same.
When she goes will I forget her quickly? No way, I don't think I ever will. Maybe I'm a stupid romantic.
What if she is the one? It feels to me like she is.
For all that, I know that in probably 95% of the cases this sort of relationship will not have a happy ending. Even if we did end up together (my fondest wish) there has still been hurt and I can see the other people that might be hurt by it.
So, unless you are really, REALLY sure, it is probably not worth it. And even if you are sure, taking steps to maybe work somewhere else, at least a different part of the company, will protect both of you - if you do make it work or if you don't.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): I must say I have the reverse I'm in love with my young assistant, but I know nothing can ever come of this as she is 22 and I am 30 and married!!
Perhaps it was a mistake to take her on, but she is fantastic at her job. Its such a dilema, but you only get one chance at life, what if this was meant to be?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007): Dear young Lady, did you listen to these friendly recommendations? Is this love? And what is love? Dominant males are sexually attractive, I heard it in a documentary which was probably not only about gorillas. I have been in a similar situation for two years, except that I was ugly enough to avoid intimacy with my boss. I also spent a lot of energy concentrating each time on the image of his lovely wife and child, on my hairy legs, on Mama's warnings, etc. It is such a painful disease, my heart still hopes a true love relationship though my brain urges to quit. I alreay resigned twice, but I could not resist the protests and I am still with the same company, damaging my career and my private life. Too bad that we don't get comments on this Website from a wife or from one of those guys. I would so much like to read their opinion. Now, the responses below do indicate a way out: find another job indeed. If this is love, you will know. If this is a game, it will be over. And in any event, don't stop going out with other people!Take care, and good luck to all working girls.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2007): Sweetheart,I fell in love with a married coworker once--let me tell you what will happen--he will use you until he's had his thrill, someone will tell his wife, or she'll find out somehow--everyone in his life, will put pressure on him to dump you, which he will, since he is not going to jeopardize his family, or his job.End it now, and move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2007): I too am in the same situation! I've been having an affair with my married boss who has a child - and an unhappy marriage. I know the sooner I get out of it the better it will be, but at the same time, I don't want to.
We spend a lot of time together outside of work and when we go out, people say we look like such a happy couple who are so in love with each other. It's not like it's a secret from the world - we go out to public places all the time and hold hands and kiss in public.
I haven't actually told him I love him yet, but I want to.
We've talked about the future and everything possible.
I know there is mostly negative responses on here, but honestly, if it's meant to be, it will happen. Maybe the person they thought was their soul mate turned out to not be the one they married.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): I feel your situation. im only a few years younger then my boss, ive had feelings for him for about 3 years. we've been sleeping together for about 2 yrs but he says he cant date me b/c hes my boss, i relized this along time ago but i cant help how i feel..get out b4 you get too hurt. it wont work trust me. seeing him everyday and not being able to show him how you feel will rip you apart. i suggest you forget him and move on to someone who will fight to be with you ...not fight to keep you a secret.
good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2006): I can't give you any advice in what to do, since I'm in a similar situation; I'm in love with my boss' husband! And it isn't even close to possible that he feels the same way. So all I can do is watch and dream about him. Isn't that a wonderful situation....
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2006): Hi - I too think I am falling in love with my boss! There has always been some sort of attraction and he just recently broke up with his wife - Then on a night out he invited me into his hotel room and the inevitable happened!! - I am now feeling sick and excited at the same time - Wish me good luck for Monday!
...............................
A
female
reader, asho320  +, writes (6 October 2006):
 hi i am in a dilemma too! you are not alone! i am 18 and sleeping with my 35 yr old boss for the last 3months and he has a wife and 2kids and i do feel guilty but i cannot quit my job bacause i signed a contract for 3yrs and when he goes on holidays i miss him too!!try move on and try forget about him goodluck xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006): You have my deepest sympathy. I am besotted with my boss and have been for over a year - then reality kicks in - He is a married man so I choose to admire him from afar. This is by far the safest option. You state that you have already been intimate with your boss , you are kidding yourself if you think anything can come of it. Get a job elsewhere as it will tear you up seeing him everyday and knowing he will never be yours. Sorry to be harsh but how would you feel if you was his wife and found out he had slept with someone else.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): leave him alone as it will only hurt his wife more! You need to put your feelings aside and concentrate on your work. He needs to do the same as he goes home every night a plays the loving husband role!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): leave him alone as it will only hurt his wife more! You need to put your feelings aside and concentrate on your work. He needs to do the same as he goes home every night a plays the loving husband role!! xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2006): A discussion needs to take place and he needs to understand that you will be meeting your own needs just like you always have. Nothing has changed with you, its him that needs to get over it. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Taija +, writes (1 September 2006):
 hi there sweetie, i have been in your situation before and believe me its not pretty the outcome. my boss was married and we ended up sleeping together too not just once a few times. he got jealous of guys and when he saw me in bars with guys he threatened to fire me. in the end i told him that he has a lady that he should be loving like he loved me and that i couldnt get involved with his stuff ups. i then found out that his wife found out and went mental she came after me and threw the marriage at him. alot of people get hurt in these situations dont let it be you that gets hurt. find another job or put him in his place. you and your feelings and career are more important then anyone else. good luck hunny xx :o)
...............................
A
female
reader, j'sgurl +, writes (31 August 2006):
Seriously dont buff the boss. You should consider getting a new job. Even if you do end up in a relationship with him which isnt likely, he cheated on the current with you. Who is to say that he wont do the same to you? Please take care of yourself move on there will be something better out there for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (31 August 2006):
 My friend, I advise you to see this as a terrible mistake, forget him and try to move on. You know what you did was wrong, you acknowledged that, so I think you need to explain to him that he cant be getting jealous when you date other men, he is married, it will never work. Good luck. xXx
...............................
A
female
reader, angel frm above +, writes (31 August 2006):
 hun u cant go on with this he has a wife and if he was to leave his wife for you it may feel nice bein with him but soon the guilt would take over and you both will end up unhappy. Sit him down and talk 2 him about it and what is going to happen in the future. But dont let him leave his wife unless he is unhappy with her. if he does leave his wife for you you should wait abit before getting with him if his wife found out he was with another women soon after he left her it would brake her heart.
...............................
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (31 August 2006):
Get a new job. Seriously. This won't work out well for either of you.
...............................
|
