Should I wait for my 1st love or walk away?
Q. I have been reading the different stories on love and married men however; I haven’t come across one which is similar to mine. So here I am asking for help! My married man is my first and only love...We met ten years ago when I was 17, we da...
A. 22 January 2009: Wow!It's difficult for me to say if this guy loves you or not, but it's doubtful he'll leave his wife and child.
I think he's using his child as an excuse not to leave, or he'd already have left. So what makes you think he'll leave his wife in the ... (read in full...)
How do I extinguish the flame and still be friends with my ex?
Q. Hello everyone. I was in a long relationship with this woman. 10 years. For a time, we were planning on getting married. It has been 3 years since it ended. We still see, and talk to each other. At times,it feels alright. Other times, it hurts, ...
A. 20 January 2009: Your letter isn't clear.
You've been friends for 3 years and yet you've never discussed why your relationship ended?
Tell her you want to have a serious talk. You may discover she feels the same way as you do.
You need some sort of "closure" as... (read in full...)
We got into a bad fight and he slapped me!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years. Our relantionship has always been up and down. He has cheated on me couple of times and I've forgived him. Just last Sep we broke up and got back together in late Nov. Things were going good trying to ...
A. 20 January 2009: Just don't make the mistake of marrying this guy. Your relationship is definately abusive.
If he's slapping you and cheating on you, after you're married it'll only get worse.
After being with the guy for 4.5 years, it's difficult to make the deci... (read in full...)
How do you know it's really completely "over"?
Q. How do you know it's really completely "over"? We never had the talk but I left him because he was being a complete jerk. We were never "committed, exclusive" but casually dating for 4 months. He was on medication from a recent surgery and one ...
A. 20 January 2009: I know this isn't really the answer you want but I'm going to tell you anyway.
This guy doesn't care about you. If he could make out with another girl in front of you (alcohol is no excuse), he's a creep and you're well rid of him.
I doubt he ever ... (read in full...)
Male perspective: Haven't spoke to boyfriend since x-mas
Q. I have not spoken to my boyfriend since before xmas. I had a death in the family of a close relative. I have three children. Youngest is his. We dont live together. Many years of togetherness and he has been fairly supportive. things just got ...
A. 18 January 2009: I think you should call him.
There's definately a communication problem here.
You expect him to be able to read your mind. Arrange to get together for a talk.
Make the situation clear. Neither of you seems to know what the other wants.... (read in full...)
Married & cheating with a co-worker
Q. I cheated on my wife with a co worker (we made out once). I completely regret and I wish didn't. My wife always has been faithful towards me. She has no I idea what I have done. Should I tell her? The co worker keeps flirting with me and I can't ...
A. 18 January 2009: I don't see any point in telling her.
You obviously regret what you've done and have learnt a lesson.
We're all entitled to make a mistake from time to time. Hopefully we learn from these mistakes.
Keep this episode to yourself and make an effo... (read in full...)
Did he do something wrong or am I being over-sensitive?
Q. A few weeks ago I met a guy and we got along very well. I liked him, he liked me. We hung out a fair bit of the last few weeks. This guy had known my house mate for five years. They had always got along very well and liked each other so often t...
A. 18 January 2009: It's all for the best that your housemate is moving out.
I don't hink there's any point in continuing your friendship with him if you feel romantically attracted to him in any way. It doesn't look as if he sees you as more than a friend.
... (read in full...)
Cheating fool!
Q. I did something terrible, now it is hurting my feelings. I took my hubby to the airport as he was going back to work. On my way home I pretended to be some other girl and texted him, to my surprise in that short time he promised to come visit and ...
A. 18 January 2009: I've noticed that when adults play games, they always backfire.
Trust is one of the basics of any relationship. You obviously don't trust him and he's obviously a cheat, so as dificult as it may be for you and your little girl, the best thing woul... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to see/date/sleep with other girls.
Q. My girlfriend wants me to see/date/sleep with other girls. She says she wants me to be sure that I want to be with her, and that she doesn't want to restrict me or drive me away by being jealous or possessive. I love her and want to be with her ...
A. 14 January 2009: Yeah, I agree with all the other answers here.
She's not ready for a serious, monogamous relationship. She seems very restless. Maybe she feels you're coming on too strong.
Tell her to be honest and to make it clear what she really wants. She seem... (read in full...)
Is there a connection between yoga and sexual satisfaction? How can yoga help improve your sex life?
Q. Yoga is good for you, has health benefits and it can make you feel better. Is there a connection between yoga and sexual satisfaction? How can yoga help improve your sex life? Any advice for making yoga seductive? Any advice for using yoga as...
A. 14 January 2009: Yoga counteracts stress, fatigue, and poor self-image, all of which can suppress your sex drive.
You can also benefit by increasing your physical fitness, particularly strength, flexibility, and muscle control.
You should make enquiries with a y... (read in full...)
I wonder if it's possible to be pregnant and still kind of get your period?
Q. I wonder if it's possible to be pregnant and still kind of get your period. I had sex with my ex boyfriend on Dec 15th. The very next day I felt nauseated, the day after that I felt nauseated and had sore breasts, then I got a cold so the symptoms ...
A. 14 January 2009: Why don't you do a pregnancy test? Or see a doctor?
Carrie 212 has hit the nail on the head!
You wouldn't feel nauseous just a day after falling pregnant.
I don't want to sound rude, but at your age, you should know some of the facts of life. e.g... (read in full...)
Am I just being too clingy in my head? Is this normal?
Q. I am trying not to be clingy and so far so good. I have been with him for about 9 months. What I don't get are two things. The first thing is we have not had that relationship discussion yet I have heard him call me "my girl" on the phone... What ...
A. 14 January 2009: I can understand (because of your age) that you're under a bit of pressure for him to commit.
Just give him time. You may think you're NOT putting pressure on him but he may be a bit nervous anyway.
Show him how happy you are when you DO see him.... (read in full...)
I have a new girlfriend who is a virgin, how do I know she is ready for me?
Q. I have A girlfriend who is a virgin. Shes 6 years younger than me. We've been going out now for about a month and I like her a lot. She plays with me and stuff but she's kinda shy when it comes to me playing with her(By that I mean fingering her) I ...
A. 14 January 2009: I liked satindesires's answer.
Take things slow. She'll let you know when she's ready. And make sure she's of legal age.... (read in full...)
Should I try or is it in vain?
Q. Since the other night she has come to me asking to move back in and now wants to take time to see how things can go. I understand things will be different for awhile from what happened. I dont think anyone would be able to excuss there partner ...
A. 14 January 2009: You're very unsure, and she also doesn't seem to know what she wants.
Go slowly. Don't commit yourself, and see where it leads.
... (read in full...)
She keeps saying she loves me but then goes back to the ex
Q. Hi All, I am really stuck and would really appreciate some help. I am in a really tricky situation with a girl who I work with. We were both in long term relationships and got together around 7 months ago both leaving partners after we cheated...
A. 14 January 2009: She's playing games with you.
She obviously enjoys the attention she's getting, and I'm sorry to say that you're making a fool of yourself by letting her keep you wrapped around her little finger.
Stop being such a pushover. Where's your self res... (read in full...)
Would you send him a birthday card?
Q. Should i send him a happy birthday card? My ex is a complete asshole. I don't like him as a person anymore at all but for some reason i care what impression i leave him with of me. i want him to think of me as a sweet caring nice person not a cold, ...
A. 7 January 2009: You seem to need closure, so perhaps sending him a birthday card would be like a final gesture.
Just make sure you don't decide to call him.
Get on with your life. Don't waste it!... (read in full...)
Is it strange for an older man to be saying he loves me?
Q. Im 19 years old. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 1/2 months. He is 43. We really get along great. We live in two different states. I fly out there every weekend to spend the weekend with him. He says he is falling in love with me. Is that ...
A. 7 January 2009: I agree that if you love each other, age shouldn't be an issue.
But couldn't he fly out to you sometimes?... (read in full...)
He showed me pictures of "his kid" but he can't have any kids!!!
Q. hey people I was actually involved with this guy who I really loved to death, I desperately wanted to have kids, but he had some health problems,(he couldn't produce any sperm, but he would have an erection). Sex was good, everything and I...
A. 7 January 2009: what kind of love is this with both of you cheating on each other? OKay. So you're now pregnant with someone else's child.
It's really not your business who the real father of his child is. It's HIS business. He knows whether he can really fath... (read in full...)
Am I right in reading this situation or am I dead wrong. What does anybody else think?
Q. Recently I wrote about a girlfriend of mine and the man she has been dealing with for the past several years. Now here we are in a brand new year and she is bringing the old into the new. She told me she had sent an email to this man telling him ...
A. 7 January 2009: I think that this guy really wants to end the relationship!
He has made the decision that he doesn't want to see her anymore.
If she keeps going back to him, of course he'll just be using her.
She needs to get a life and stop obsessing ov... (read in full...)
After 13 years with me, he married someone else within 4 months of meeting her!
Q. I had been dating this man from 1995 until 2003 and we remained friends until 2008. We built a business together and have been through a lot together over the past 13 years. He said that I was his best friend and in May 2008 told me he loved me and ...
A. 7 January 2009: Try and behave as pleasantly as you are able to. I'm sure this won't be easy under the circumstances but he's now married to someone else and you just have to make the best of the few months that you have to work together.
I can understand how hurt... (read in full...)
I'm sleeping with my best friend's boyfriend. I don't know if I can do the right thing, can anyone help?
Q. For the last month I have been sleeping with my best friends boyfriend and I don't know how I feel about it. I know that sounds weird but I honestly don't know if its just sex or something more. In my mind I have separated the guy I'm sleeping wit...
A. 7 January 2009: Sorry, but I have to question your moral values.
What kind of best friend are you? You don't even know if you CARE about him, but you're still sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend!
HE sounds like a scumbag. Don't make excuses by saying t... (read in full...)
I haven't told my boyfriend about the abortion I'm getting. Do I tell him, if so, how?
Q. If i get an abortion do I have to tell my boyfriend? I am just asking because I am having an abortion in two weeks and i havent told anyone yet other than a close female friend who had one before and is helping me through it. i am experien...
A. 7 January 2009: If you want to have a relationship built on trust with your boyfriend, you should tell him before you have the abortion.
The last word is yours, but he was partly responsible for you getting pregnant so he has the right to know.
Don't keep thi... (read in full...)
Divorced but he still records significant dates that happened with his ex!
Q. I'm not typically the jealous type. My BF (of 6 months)and I check out others, watch things on t.v, have friend of opposite sex, and no prob I do however seem to have a problem with his ex wife. He hasn't been divorced long so I'm trying to ...
A. 6 January 2009: Men don't think like women. He spent 10 years with her so she was an important part of his life for a long time.
I understand there is a dog involved but not kids? Perhaps he still thinks of her as a friend but not a lover.
he may be taking t... (read in full...)
He wants a threesome doesn't care if I'm involved with another man
Q. My husband has broken my heart, l don't feel for him anymore. Have caught him so many times texting other woman, even my friends, he dates on-line. We talked about it and he promised he was going to stop all that, but l still do not trust him. Now ...
A. 6 January 2009: I just don't understand why you're still hanging around with him. You don't have feelings for him and he obviously doesn't care a fxxx about you!
Let him get his threesome somewhere else!
He's only degrading you because you let him. What are you?... (read in full...)
What would be the pitfalls of a fling or affair? We're only together because of the kids.
Q. Hi all. Been married 20 years; have two great kids (11 and 8). My wife says she no longer loves me but she wants to stay together for the kids. There is no affection or intimacy but we get along and have fun together and talk etc. I don't know if ...
A. 6 January 2009: Your question is one-sided.
What about your wife having affairs too? Whould this bother you?
Discuss it and if you're both in agreement of having an "open" marriage, it may work. You could give it a try if you're both in agreement. If you want hav... (read in full...)
Lack of intimacy
Q. I have known my boyfriend 6 years - we were good friends on and off throughout the years. There has always been a spark between us, but our timing was always off, one of us would have a partner, or various other reasons would keep us apart, not to ...
A. 6 January 2009: Your question puzzles me. If you're physically attracted to each other, why is there no passion?
I think you see him more as just a friend or a brother figure, but you don't want to lose his friendship so you're "forcing" the physical side of the ... (read in full...)
Will it make me sound needy if I tell him what I want
Q. Hey, I’ll start off with saying that I’m a 21 yr old virgin, not because of religion or because im waiting for the right guy to come alone I just work to much and really don’t have a social life. So the thought of having a boyfriend and ho...
A. 6 January 2009: I get the feeling he's as young and inexperienced as you are.
You both seem to be giving out mixed nessages. If it's difficult for you to make the first move, write him a note and tell him how you feel. If he doesn't respond, you'll know how you ... (read in full...)
My wife has big problems! Can you change someone's behaviour and personality?
Q. Can you change someones behaviour and personality? My wife of six years is changing, all aspects of her behaviour and personality are different to when i first met her. To give you some background I knew her for about 4 years before we were mar...
A. 6 January 2009: Good luck for persevering. You deserve it!... (read in full...)
What do I do... my husband has left
Q. My husband of 21 years has left me after telling me he has feelings for this woman. He says he can't come home for the damage he has done to me and our 3 teenager children. He does show remorse, he feels bad for the way things have turned out, we ...
A. 5 January 2009: This will become easier with time. You're obviously devestated at the moment but I believe these things usually happen for the best.
Keep busy. Get yourself a hobby. Go out and meet people.
Sometimes our lives are unpredictable and things don't tu... (read in full...)
Why is my half sister so bitchy?
Q. I was shunted all over the place as a child as my mother abandoned me and left me with my father. As a result I experienced abuse by my step-mother and others (physical and emotional). I am now 45 and all my life my half sisters on my dad's side...
A. 5 January 2009: You obviously want their love and admiration, and you find it difficult to move on in your life because of all the emotional abuse you've been handed out.
You deserve much more than this jealousy and bitchiness. Good for you for getting an educ... (read in full...)
How do I get her to be my g/f?
Q. I'm 25 and I'm in love with my best friend.we have dated in highschool n broke up when she went to college.we been friends for 10yrs.she is always touchy feely w me.we started having sex a few months ago and bout 2 weeks ago she said she just wants ...
A. 5 January 2009: She seems really mixed up.
Sit her down and discuss the situation with her. Put all your cards on the table. Tell her what you want and ask her what she wants.
If she wants you as her boyfriend, well and good. Take it from there.
If she wants yo... (read in full...)
Should I forgive my boyfriend for watching porn?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 4 years. We do not live together and we are both virgins. He recently confessed that has watched porn at least once a week for the last 3 years. I was really hurt when he told me. He seemed to feel bad ...
A. 5 January 2009: Watching porn once a week is completely normal for a young guy.
It arouses him and he enjoys it.
You shouldn't dump him, especially as he's told you he's stopped.
Don't be too harsh on him. ... (read in full...)
Anxiety attacks & over analyzing things are making me such a mess
Q. hello friends, m a 20 year old guy n im suffering from severe anxiety problems. i dont know whats wrong with me and im scared of whatever i think. i keep analyzing every situation that i come across and usually end up building more and more anxiety ...
A. 5 January 2009: I don't think you're alone. Many people have anxiety attacks.
You could get professional help in controlling all this anxiety, and medication could also make a difference (if you don't have an objection).
We live in an age of uncertainties and fear... (read in full...)
Why is he choosing drinking over me?
Q. I recently brokeup with my ex husband because of his drinking and now he doesn't answer my text or calls when I try to contact him. We were married, divorced, and then got back together. Finally, I choose to end it again because he ultimately chose ...
A. 5 January 2009: You need to get over him. He's an alcoholic, and he's filtering your calls, which shows he's really not interested in you.
What are you calling him about? It's not of your concern what he's thinking. He may have met someone and moved on. Do the ... (read in full...)
Restless anxious about relationship and its bothering me wondering if he'll go bald?
Q. please help! I've been with my boyfriend now for over three years but I'm incredibly frustrated with our situation. He is the only person I have ever been with. Currently I am not working, after recently graduating from University. I'm trying to ...
A. 5 January 2009: Let me make a statement that you may not like but it's the first thing that came to mind. YOU DON"T LOVE THIS GUY!
If you loved HIM, his balding head would be of no significance at all!
And you're letting it take up such enormous proporti... (read in full...)
I cheated, wife found out and now wants to call everything off
Q. I have been married eleven years and have cheated on my wife 6 months ago and she found out. She has been depressed since the birth of my son (9 years ago) and for the last three years basically stop having sex with me and telling me she hated me. ...
A. 5 January 2009: Okay...so you made a mistake and now you're paying for it!
Understandably you were frustrated with your relationship and looked elsewhere to satisfy your sexual needs but this was a time when your wife needed you for support and affection.
Your ... (read in full...)
Am I a friend? more? He calls me buddy
Q. Is he just being polite or is just taking things slow and is interested in me? We go out, we call each other back and forth just to talk, and text. He never mentions his past relationships, nor do I ask. But on these (2) dates he hasn't made a mo...
A. 5 January 2009: Enjoy it for what it is!
As you say, he may be taking this slow as he's not in any hurry to get seriously involved.
The best and longest lasting relationships, are based on friendship. So as long as you're having a good time, be patient.
... (read in full...)
My wife has big problems! Can you change someone's behaviour and personality?
Q. Can you change someones behaviour and personality? My wife of six years is changing, all aspects of her behaviour and personality are different to when i first met her. To give you some background I knew her for about 4 years before we were mar...
A. 4 January 2009: You really seem to be a kind man and a caring husband.
Your wife was obviously traumatised by her abusive upbringing, and she seems to be paranoid.
The reappearance of her parents is causing her further confusion.
Unfortunately your two small ch... (read in full...)
Will sex ever happen?
Q. I have been dating a man for 2 years. We recently moved in together. He treats me like a queen. He's been alone for many, many years and told me he needed his alone time. Which I do by going shopping or playing golf, The problem is we don't have ...
A. 4 January 2009: Your relationship is dependent on whether you're prepared to live in a sexless relationship or not.
You're treated like a queen in other ways but it's obviously not enough for you.
Discuss the problem openly with him. Make it clear to him that he ... (read in full...)
He's a married friend..so why does he go 'cool' when I mention other guys?
Q. I have a friend with whom I keep in touch very often. They live far across the country and I'm friend of him not his wife. I only know him actually. But, he's happily married, he talks about family and all. The thing that bugs me is that since we...
A. 4 January 2009: Men don't think or react like women.
You may think that as your friend, you can discuss other men and he'll advise you and chat about it, as you'd do with a female friend.
But men don't always feel comfortable with this kind of thing.
As a marr... (read in full...)
Do males enjoy giving oral, or do they just do it to keep us happy?
Q. Do males enjoy giving oral, or do they just do it to keep us happy?...
A. 4 January 2009: Most guys enjoy giving as well as getting.
But some like just getting it.
... (read in full...)
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