A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Recently I wrote about a girlfriend of mine and the man she has been dealing with for the past several years. Now here we are in a brand new year and she is bringing the old into the new. She told me she had sent an email to this man telling him that with the new year, change must take place. Never really saying what changes needed to happen, just that they needed to take place. I don't really think she expected to get the response she got from this man. He told her that "it was best they went their separate ways because he couldn't give her what she wanted or deserved". Then she asked me two questions. The first one she asked was would she hear from him again and what should she do.I told her that regardless of what he said in terms of letting her go because he knows he can't give her the relationship she so desires to have that her hearing back from him is solely dependant on her response back to him as to whether or not she agrees with what he has told her. That she either agrees to go separate ways or she wants to keep seeing him and keep on the same destructive road never really gettting what she wants.She told me that she responded back to him telling him how could he make a decision for the two of them based on what he feels is the right thing to do. That she never said one way or the other whether or not she wanted to keep seeing him. That he was being unfair to make such a decision for her and not allowing her to make her own choices for her life.I told her that in essence you have given him the green light to keep coming back and using you. That this was what he was probably hoping she would do and say. So I told her that based on that she would hear from him somewhere down the road when he wants a piece of the action so to speak.Am I right in reading this situation or am I dead wrong. What does anybody else think? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (7 January 2009):
 Based on your age, I'd guess he may be around the same age.
The pool of available women desperate to not be alone grows for him.
Conversely, the pool of available men shrinks for her.
A man who cares and one who is worth investing yourself in, body and soul, is the one who moves heaven and earth for you. I'd say he was being honest, as painful as that may be, and that each moment she spends obsessing over him is a moment lost with a new lover. I don't think she'd want him to lie to her, although he will resort to that to get sex from her...and when it works, his opinion of her will lower and lower and lower...
A
female
reader, pastfirst +, writes (7 January 2009):
 I think that this guy really wants to end the relationship!
He has made the decision that he doesn't want to see her anymore.
If she keeps going back to him, of course he'll just be using her.
She needs to get a life and stop obsessing over him! Give him up. There's no point in persuing the relationship, especially as it was never good.
...............................
|
