A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend with whom I keep in touch very often. They live far across the country and I'm friend of him not his wife. I only know him actually. But, he's happily married, he talks about family and all. The thing that bugs me is that since we are friends I mention him when a guy is trying to hook up with me or if I met someone new, he reacts like wanting to change the subject or if I mention that a guy we both know keeps in touch with me too he goes like "Cool" in a tone when a guy don't want to talk about it, so I change subject. If we are friends and I should feel free to talk about those issues to him, why would he react like that. Is it a guy thing. I mean I talk to other guys friends and they don't make a big deal and instead make comments but he's not. I will not mention him again the subject, but it shouldn't be that way, isn't?Any advice?! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, 48years +, writes (4 January 2009):
 You are friends with him, but not his wife.
He changes the subject when you "accidently" mention other guys.
I think you know the answer-trust your gut.
You and he have formed an emotional relationship, and he is in danger of straying with you. On some level, you too are testing the waters. This sort of friendship almost always leads to infidelity-with the unmarried person left holding the bag.
Confide in someone else and leave him alone-he's got you in his radar. Don't be flattered by this...
A
female
reader, pastfirst  +, writes (4 January 2009):
 Men don't think or react like women.
You may think that as your friend, you can discuss other men and he'll advise you and chat about it, as you'd do with a female friend.
But men don't always feel comfortable with this kind of thing.
As a married man, he may feel the subject is too intimate.
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A
male
reader, MichaelS2 +, writes (4 January 2009):
 Well first off understand that he is a guy and he probably isn't used to hearing stories from your angle.
You also said your friends,I wouldn't be comfortable hearing about a good friends sex-life especially if they were a member of the opposite sex.
Honestly its just new to him to hear it from another angle.Normally guys talk to guys and girls talk to girls so when you mix them together one is bound to feel uncomfortable at first.
Try talking to him and explaining your problem.
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