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*rbiter

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< Prev1234Next > [4 pages, 138 answers]

Why is he being like that? Is it my fault?

Q.   Basically I don't know what's wrong with my friend. We used to be so close but things have changed. I don't get what's wrong with him. Last summer it was the first time he started flirting with me and I told him not to. So he avoided me for ...

A.   15 July 2011: He obviously really likes you, keeps hoping you'll somehow change your mind and feel the same way about him. So it hurts him when he is rejected again so he becomes cold and avoids you to get over it and not show he's hurt. All the behaviours you ... (read in full...)

Should I apologize to her for my obessive behaviour?

Q.   I have an obsessive behavior which means I can somehow force myself to do something that I do not want to do and if I want something, I would do anything to have it. This obsessive behavior is both benefiting and annoying because my obsessive beh...

A.   15 July 2011: Unless you've done something that is actually insulting and not just purely obsessive then no, I wouldn't bother as it will only draw attention to your behaviour and maybe even reinforce her ideas about you. Just backing off and showing her you'... (read in full...)

How do you know if a guy will just use you for sex then leave?

Q.   Dear Cupid...i would like to know how a woman knows a guy will leave you after you give him sex? Im in high school and as you all assume, guys are all after that. But in the world of "highschool", a guy will only wait for a girl for about 4-5 ...

A.   15 July 2011: Well the best way to tell is to wait and see if the guy will stay around longer than most would with no promise of sex and no date/timeline given. Other ways to tell could be how often he mentions it/ brings it up in conversation - hinting ... (read in full...)

Life is miserable and I don't know what Iv done to deserve this..

Q.   Hi guys. I just really wanted to get some stuff off my chest. I'm a 16 year old closeted guy and I just don't know what to do anymore. I've been sad and depressed for the past 3-4 years, and I've tried my hardest to cope with it. But when does the...

A.   14 July 2011: I used to think and feel like you did. Everyone may be obsessed with youth these days but I wouldn't go back to my teens if someone paid me. Your age group is really the hardest time, you have to go to school and spend time with some immature people ... (read in full...)

I always wonder if I am doing something wrong in the relationship, or am I with the wrong man?

Q.   My boyfriend had mentioned that he is bothered because I seem analytical and cold. I am very affectionate. I give him hugs. I tell him I love him. I asked him why he is bothered by me being analytical. He said he couldn't tell me. Do men just expect ...

A.   14 July 2011: Well judging by the last bit of your post I am wondering whether or not you are not only over analysing everything he does but then also thinking the worst and questioning him about everything. If this is the case then this is more obsessional, ... (read in full...)

To model topless? Or to reduce them?

Q.   hey people. So basically i am a very petite 5"2 brunette with 32dd breasts. I have two offers on the table to do topless modelling. A couple of years ago i wanted to do it, but now, i hate my boobs. they just look ridiculous on me and i am seriously ...

A.   5 July 2011: Well if you *want* to do the modelling why not do that for a bit first and then if you still hate your breasts, have a reduction then. Unless you have other health problems thanks to your boobs (e.g severe back ache) I wouldn't advise surgery ... (read in full...)

Is he punishing me for breaking-up with him ?

Q.   So... i broke up with my bf two months ago. We were together for five years, in a long distance relationship, and we had a lot of arguments; at first, he was really hurt, and so was i. I didn't want to break up with him, but i am goig through a hard ...

A.   2 July 2011: No I don't think he is punishing you. I think it's obvious the break up really upset him and that he still has/had feelings for you. Maybe he's a bit oversensitive about things. It could also be that the sleep jokes reminded him of when you were... (read in full...)

Should I lose my virginity if I am ready and if it is starting to make me insecure?

Q.   I am not asking this question about losing my virginity for the sake of being ''cool'' and ''popular'' becuase I am honestly an older guy who is far beyond that mindset. I am only considering losing my virginity for my own sanity and not for ...

A.   2 July 2011: Personally I'd suggest you just throw yourself into dating and maybe not putting so much worry on being a player. In my opinion a player is a person who sleeps with girls while promising them more which they never intend to keep to. If you have the ... (read in full...)

Is it illegal to have gay sex at 16?

Q.   Ok, i'm a lesbian and recently i started going out with my best friend, we made out once and we've been on several dates now for about 2 months, but now she wants to take it further, i agreed to do it at hers next weekend, but i was sort of drunk ...

A.   1 July 2011: In the UK gay sex at 16 is legal. Although as Aunt honesty said make sure you're actually ready and want to do this. You don't have to go through with it because you said you would when drunk and to be honest she shouldn't have asked you seriou... (read in full...)

Can't make friends or make any impact on anyone. No-one cares for me as I do them.

Q.   Hi there, I have a problem with making friends with people. I get nervous around people and don't know what to talk about. I don't do much minus work and sleep and it takes a second to say I went shopping at the weekend or went to church. Peopl...

A.   1 July 2011: It does sound like you have social anxiety to an extent and if you feel comfortable with the idea then as strontiumdog mentioned CBT may help (I had it a few years ago for the same reason and it did help). I used to be very similar to you a... (read in full...)

Are these red flags? Do you think he's hiding something from me?

Q.   I could really use some advise and wise words about this guy I've been seeing. I met him online, we emailed back and forth for a week before meeting in person. I think everyone knows the dangers of online dating and the creeps out there, so I'...

A.   26 June 2011: He might me, he might not. Just coming out with facts when you talk to him sounds like someone with autism/aspergers which also explains (to some extent) why he doesn't have many friends and the strangeness about not furnishing his house. So have a ... (read in full...)

I want to lose weight but not become too thin. Any advice?

Q.   Sooo this isn't really a relationship question, but I just need some advice. I'm 5'3, I use to weigh 5 stone. I went to hospital and put on 4 stone, the medication I was on had a side affect of weight gain. Since then I've lost 1 stone; so I now ...

A.   25 June 2011: Ok well assuming you're telling the truth and have a distorted sense of weight after your illness (which I struggle to believe) I'll try and clarify it for you. A normal BMI for an adult is around 18.5 - 23. Anything under 17.5 is consider... (read in full...)

He's Un-Contactable And Somehow Impossible To Be Friends The Least!!!!!!!!!

Q.   There's this guy from a party. He seems to like me. He talked to me, we had fun.. etc. He didn't really talked to other people, more to me. (According to my friends) He even said to a friend that I was still a minor. So he said that probably ...

A.   25 June 2011: To be honest I think you need to stop being so obsessed with this guy (I noticed your other post). Maybe he just wasn't that into you, yeah he had a fun time that day but there wasn't anything more to it than that. He may have to talked to you a bit ... (read in full...)

How do I address his unjust accusation that I was cheating. I was not.

Q.   hi everybody. my problem is i met a man in march he lives 2 mins away from me he asked me out i said yes he came round mine after a couple of weeks we had sex we carried on like this for 7 weeks i went out for a night out with my friends first time ...

A.   25 June 2011: "he said he only wanted me for sex" Self explanatory... "said that he had been wanting to text me but didnt have my number anymore"....very convienient... "so he came round we had sex again" What a surprise.. Basically I think thi... (read in full...)

Why the sudden change of behaviour? Some men are so odd......

Q.   Hi all, I’m very puzzled about a certain man’s response to me. He’s a language tutor and he runs a mature class twice a week. I’ve been taught by him for nearly a year. I’m enjoying the experience of developing and speaking another language...

A.   24 June 2011: Unless he's been doing other things on top of this and/or was raising his voice or glaring at you when he said it - you are reading way too much into this. It could be he's not great socially and meant it to come across as a bit of a joke but fail... (read in full...)

Crush "technically single." What does this mean?

Q.   There's this guy who I really like , thing is I fell for him before realizing he was taken.. He never spoke about his gf in group conversations or never hinted he was taken .. I've recently became his friend on fb and we chat sometimes about ...

A.   16 June 2011: Sounds like he and his gf have just split up and he wants you to be his rebound or they're on a break so he wants to sleep with you while he can before he goes back to her or worse he's just had an argument with his gf, they haven't split up but ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend has short fuse. Is it me? Please help me understand

Q.   Hi there. My bf and I have been together for 18 months. Things are okay but I have one issue with him, his temper. He has a really bad temper and loses his cool really easily. He is not violent and I don’t think he ever would be but I struggle with ...

A.   16 June 2011: Well you've only been together 18 months and it's already beginning to negatively affect you, imagine how it'll be after a few years. You may not be able to cope with it long term. If I were you, I'd explain to him how much it gets me down, le... (read in full...)

What to wear at a foam party?

Q.   Hey. I am going to a foam party soon with a mixed group. I'm 18 and bisexual. What do I wear? Can guys go shirtless? What do the girls normally wear?...

A.   15 June 2011: Well really you can wear anything you usually would to a night out (yes I think some guys go shirtless). My only advice is to not wear anything that's expensive and/or extremely colourful as the dye can run and completely ruin your clothes as one of ... (read in full...)

He's with a lot of woman in his Facebook photos, could this mean he's a player?

Q.   If a guy hangs around with lots of women, does that mean he is a player, or could they just be his friends? I know some could be relatives too. I recently met this guy in a bar . We haven't been on a date yet, but he is on my friends list on ...

A.   15 June 2011: Well you really aren't going to be able to tell from some Facebook photos, they could easily be friends or family. One player I knew of deliberately avoided putting photos of himself on there with any women in so if he added a woman he met on a ... (read in full...)

Have I hooked up with too many guys?

Q.   I've hooked up with 12 guys, but have only had sex with 2 of them. hooking up might be nakedness, oral, or hand jobs....is that a lot? im 25 :(...

A.   15 June 2011: I know this might not be the magic answer you were hoping for but there are going to be loads of people with many different opinions on this, there isn't a 'right' answer or number. So the best thing you can do is not worry about what other people ... (read in full...)

Are third cousins blood related?

Q.   So, i have this third cousin. Hes my grandpas, brothers, daughters, son. He just told me hes in love with me. We met last summer, and we didnt know we were realted. And we both gained feelings for eachother. I love him, he loves me. But we're ...

A.   15 June 2011: Third cousins are related but very distantly. I think most countries allow a relationship between 3rd cousins but you would have to check that out for yourself just to be sure. Also I'm not sure how close or distant your families are but have a t... (read in full...)

How can I get my younger boyfriends mum to trust me?How can I get my younger boyfriends mum to trust me?

Q.   I am 25 and have been seeing my 19 year old boyfriend for nearly 6 months, we kept it quiet for a while just to get to know each other but about a month ago we I met his parents. His dad was lovely and welcoming but his mum acted strange towards me ...

A.   15 June 2011: Just keep being civil and polite to her and carry on as normal, acting like you have something to prove might make her more suspicious or make you look insecure about the age gap. You might not be looking to get pregnant/married but there are older ... (read in full...)

He wants a break but not a breakup?

Q.   At the beginning of the conversation we had, he emphasized that he did not want us to break up completely. He has communication problems and I have issues with selfishness that I need to work on. He never would tell me when he was upset with me and ...

A.   1 June 2011: Yeah I think you may have something to worry about. 1) Most relationships that go on a 'break' don't work out 99% of the time. I don't know what your issues are but not ringing you because he feels pressured and wants to make that difficul... (read in full...)

Is it weird that my ex calls me after 8 months, says he misses me??

Q.   My ex called me after 8 mo or so.. saying he missed hanging out with me etc. When we were dating, he was going through a custody battle, living with his mom because he was helping her out (she had back surgery) and they fought alot. We ended on a ...

A.   30 May 2011: To be honest I'd just forget about meeting up with him now. Considering you two had problems, he ended it before and now this....it doesn't seem he's changed all that much. I don't think he really knows what he wants and it's just stringin... (read in full...)

Brokenhearted, please help! Should I give it my all to get her back or give up and move on?

Q.   hello again I had been goin out with a girl recently for nearly a year and absouloutely adored her.Words cannot describe how much i though we would be together,we fought and rowed and made up and at beginning they were huge arguements but t...

A.   28 May 2011: I know it's hard but in this situation I think you should just move on. From a neutral perspective, you've told me at the beginning of the relationship there was a lot of arguing, there were always to some extent problems, she began lying to you, ... (read in full...)

Is it weird that my ex calls me after 8 months, says he misses me??

Q.   My ex called me after 8 mo or so.. saying he missed hanging out with me etc. When we were dating, he was going through a custody battle, living with his mom because he was helping her out (she had back surgery) and they fought alot. We ended on a ...

A.   28 May 2011: It's not really weird, from the sounds of it I'd guess he has been through a lot and can see how that affected your relationship. Now he's trying to see (now he's a bit more stable in life) if there's anything still between you and if it will go ... (read in full...)

He rejected me on facebook! Is it because he didn't recognize me?

Q.   Ok well... I'm prepared and prewarning that some of you may find this problem totally lame and childish but I'm gonna go ahead and ask anyway lol. Basically I met my crush about a year ago at work but where I work means I hardly ever see him. I'm ...

A.   27 May 2011: Well before you do anything think about if it was more than likely he misheard your name AND didn't recognise you on Facebook. To me it sounds unlikely but I don't know how/why he might of misheard your name or what you have to wear for work. If you ... (read in full...)

Should I just turn into a "cya" kind of person too from now on???

Q.   Hi everyone, I’m really blue at the moment – a guy I had dated at High School came back into my life the other month and was still into me. He had always really liked me and said he considered me ‘the one that got away’. So naturally, when he asked...

A.   26 May 2011: Well I'm going to be honest here, while I can appreciate how frustrating it was for you there are a couple of things here which suggest a bit of an over reaction on your part. First although you've known him for a long time, the fact is you had ... (read in full...)

I like boys but think I might be bisexual

Q.   Hi, so i'm a 14(nearly 15) year old girl and im only in y10 at the moment. But i'm a little bit confused because i think i miight be bisexual. i defintealy like boys bcos i crush on boys just like all my other friends do and have liked some boys ...

A.   26 May 2011: There's no real rush or need to define yourself as a certain sexuality. I'd guess you'll be more sure around 18-20 but this is just a guideline. It will vary from person to person. It's true that a lot of people your age get crushes on the s... (read in full...)

How should I approach the topic of dating with her?

Q.   I really like this girl and I've been talking to her (on fb) recently and every time I speak to her I like her even more. I really want to ask her out but I'm too shy and half of the things she says I don't even understand. She uses language th...

A.   26 May 2011: When you're chatting to her and there's a break in the conversation or one of you is about to log off, just casually suggest meeting up somewhere for e.g coffee or shopping (I generally think it's best to meet somewhere where you can talk freely) if ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend "needs her space" and doesn't know if she wants to be with me or not.

Q.   Hi so my girlfriend and I have been together for a year now and she does not know if she wants to be my girlfriend at the moment. She says she needs her space and she is in school as well which stresses her out completely. Well about a month ago we ...

A.   26 May 2011: Well it doesn't sound like it's going to last if I'm honest. This could be her distancing herself from the relationship in preparation for it's inevitable end. It doesn't sound like she is willing to talk about it either. I don't think it would m... (read in full...)

I'm 32 years old... and I've never had a serious boyfriend or even slept with someone!!

Q.   I could be wrong about this, but most people believe that if someone is in a relationship, then that's it, you can NEVER have a chance with that person. The trouble is, I'm 32 years old now... and I've never had a serious boyfriend or even slept wi...

A.   26 May 2011: There's no reason why you couldn't find someone now. Yes I should think nearly all men have had a girlfriend at some point by your age but if a single guy is perfect for you and you both feel the same way then what's the problem if he's had a ... (read in full...)

My wife's sex life before she met me, and her attitude towards sex now have left me shattered....

Q.   This seems to be a big topic here. I have read a lot of the responses from people and they are helping. What I notice is that there are two categories of people suffering from this. One is people who have had a lot of partners (maybe even more tha...

A.   25 May 2011: Ok well to make it simple I would suggest this: - Set a deadline for her to change her behaviour, if she wants to save your marriage (as you do) then she needs to put in more effort. Make an appointment with a counsellor yourself. As I don't think... (read in full...)

He's flirty and touchy -- I'm confused

Q.   Ok, well I'm quite confused about this situation at the moment because... My friend, he's a guy is extremely flirty with me! At first I thought he must like me, but one time we were answering loads of personal questions and stuff, and he admitted ...

A.   24 May 2011: I'd be very careful here. He sounds like a player. If he loved your friend so much, why did he sleep with her while she was drunk and he was soberish now appears to have lost all interest? Answer: he was only after sex. Have you asked if he was the ... (read in full...)

Should my boyfriend want to go off with his friends on a bank holiday?

Q.   Okay, so this weekend is a bank holiday, my guy is off work Saturday and Sunday (he works a lot of weekends) and basically he has been invited to go camping with his two best mates. I’m pi***d off. I don’t have a problem with either of these gu...

A.   23 May 2011: Yes you are being over demanding if you want the truth. Going away for one weekend a year with his mates is not asking much at all. I agree with you that your relationship probably won't last if you begin making an issue of things like this... (read in full...)

My smart girlfriend is sabotaging our relationship

Q.   My new girlfriend is very smart and she has been creating issues out of small things and bringing things we have discussed in the past back into it. I feel like she is sabotaging us. I have a child to a previous relationship and i have good ...

A.   23 May 2011: Use your own judgment. I can't tell you if your girlfriend is being sneaky and playing games or just voicing how she feels. You 'feeling' that she is being hypocritical is not certain if you can't give a solid example. You say you're intellige... (read in full...)

Cuddled with guy friend.. Does it mean anything?

Q.   I have a guy friend *Joe*, whom I met through an ex-boyfriend (they were best friends) 4 years ago. I've always felt an attraction to him, and I fooled around with him once (he asked if we could do stuff, and my ex said that was fine.. we were all ...

A.   19 May 2011: If you're not interested in him then let it go and try not to get into situations quite like that again (unless you're 100% sure you both know where you stand or someone could get hurt). If he's not interested then he'll probably think of it as just ... (read in full...)

I'm sad and feel like I have no friends. Am I being too oversensitive?

Q.   Hi, recently i've felt really left out by my friends. They'll go out shopping together, drives together, etc and not invite me. It's happened over 10 times now. In my group of friends there are 6 of us, and I'm the only one not being invited ...

A.   8 May 2011: I'm sure you'll be fine, it'll only be for a couple of days. If you wanted could try breathing exercises, meditation or yoga which you can google and see if any sound good to you. It might also help to remind yourself that they're the ones in the ... (read in full...)

Is it ok if I change my mind about having a threeway?

Q.   OK so early i agreed to do a three way with my bf cuz he wants to but we havent yet but they cant touch each other at all. Than my bf says thats not fair if you do stuff with her if i cant but then i said i cant fall inlove with girls and stuff and ...

A.   8 May 2011: I agree with the other readers, three-somes aren't a good idea and you shouldn't be pressured into it by your bf. If he gets mad, tough. Your relationship should mean more to him than meaningless sex, he is coming across as very immature. ... (read in full...)

I'm sad and feel like I have no friends. Am I being too oversensitive?

Q.   Hi, recently i've felt really left out by my friends. They'll go out shopping together, drives together, etc and not invite me. It's happened over 10 times now. In my group of friends there are 6 of us, and I'm the only one not being invited ...

A.   7 May 2011: No you're not being oversensitive. You can't help having depression, lots of people have it. It sounds like your friend is the 'A class twat'. Have you got any other friends you can call up and invite out/over at all, even old ones you haven't... (read in full...)

Torn between the father of my children and my ex whom I still care for. What do I do??

Q.   I am in a real pickle at the moment.. I was seeing this guy (he was my first love) around 5 years ago. We dated for 16 months and broke up because it turned into a long distance relationship and we were very young. I was broken hearted and neve...

A.   6 May 2011: Can you see yourself staying happy and content with your current partner long into the future? Will you be happy to never get married? Have you gotten over all the other problems you mentioned? Or do you think these things will eventually get to you ... (read in full...)

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