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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I could be wrong about this, but most people believe that if someone is in a relationship, then that's it, you can NEVER have a chance with that person.The trouble is, I'm 32 years old now... and I've never had a serious boyfriend or even slept with someone. I know this sounds unbelievable at my age, but things just never worked out. I'm falling into despair because, at MY age, virtually every guy has had a relationship or is in a relationship. Like I said, I suppose you can never have a chance with someone who has a girlfriend, and almost all guys have had girlfriends long before they get to be my age. I don't like to give up, and I never do, but what are my chances of finding someone? How many guys my age have never had a girlfriend (aside from gay guys, of course)? I doubt I could ever find someone like that, and if I did, the chances I'd like him and he'd reciprocate are slim. I could really use some advice!! Thanks if you can help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2011): oh hun, i don't think that you should limit you choices to some that has no experiences you can simply go for any you like no matter what...or maybe the reason why you didn't do it with a man before is that you are gay this is a possible answer I have a male friend who had the same issue of you and at age 40 he came out as a gay guy and his first sexual act was with another guy...so what i want to say is that it is not enough to think if you have a chance or not you should find other reasons for that ...I CAN'T BUY THAT..((things didn't work out))..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2011): I met a guy last year who was 20 years older than you and had never had a girlfriend, so take heart. At least you're not wasting yourself on the wrong ones.
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A
female
reader, Orbiter  +, writes (26 May 2011):
There's no reason why you couldn't find someone now. Yes I should think nearly all men have had a girlfriend at some point by your age but if a single guy is perfect for you and you both feel the same way then what's the problem if he's had a girlfriend before? If he was crazy about you the fact you've never had a relationship wouldn't put him off. The truth is a minority of guys might have a problem with that (as they might think you'll never have sex with them) but if they think this way then they're not the right guy for you.There's not much info as to why your relationships have never worked out. If I'm honest it is a bit unusual at 32 to have always been single if you've been actively looking for a relationship for most of your adult life. It could be that you have just been unlucky and therefore the only thing you can do is carry on searching and you'll more than likely find someone.If you feel you have a problem dating/getting dates then maybe read some self help books on relationships and dating.If perhaps you are a bit picky and are finding fault with relationships as soon as you're in them (I know a few people like this and there's nothing wrong with it unless you begin to get unhappy) then eventually you're going to have to decide which will you be happier with - remaining single for longer or lowering your standards.Also just to add, I'm not sure you meant it to come across this way but:"believe that if someone is in a relationship, then that's it, you can NEVER have a chance with that person."" I suppose you can never have a chance with someone who has a girlfriend"You should never have a chance with someone who is currently in a relationship, because they either won't cheat and leave their partner and if they do, they'll do it to you too.But if their relationship is long over then there's no problem dating them at all.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (26 May 2011):
 This happens a lot more than you think. And you know what? Most of the time, they meet that perfect someone who accepts them. They're happy. So don't doubt your chances of falling in love with someone.
I've seen husbands with horrible horrible wives and I've seen wives with horrible horrible husbands. Yet they stay together (usually, not what I recommend with a horrible horrible partner). If you be the best you can be, what makes you think you won't be able to find anyone who absolutely adores you?
Who cares if a guy has already had a relationship? What if you are the kind of person some guy is looking for? Look in the right places. You'll find someone.
I hope that helps.
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