Torn between the father of my children and my ex whom I still care for. What do I do??
Q. I am in a real pickle at the moment.. I was seeing this guy (he was my first love) around 5 years ago. We dated for 16 months and broke up because it turned into a long distance relationship and we were very young. I was broken hearted and neve...
A. 6 May 2011: Can you see yourself staying happy and content with your current partner long into the future? Will you be happy to never get married? Have you gotten over all the other problems you mentioned? Or do you think these things will eventually get to you ... (read in full...)
Guy I've been dating has cooled off his enthusiasm for me, and now I am afraid of getting in too deep!
Q. Hi, A bit of background info: I was in a terrible relationship a few months ago with a guy who treated me like dirt. Anyway that relationship ended quite quickly without too much heartache. However I stayed in contact with one of my ex's friends ...
A. 6 May 2011: Are you sure you're really ready for another relationship only a few months after getting out of a 'terrible' one? This guy does sound a bit inconsiderate by making plans with you and then canceling them because you got up late (although I don'... (read in full...)
He said he didnt feel the same, but I'm amazing. What does this mean?
Q. So, ive been in love with this guy. I told over the internet that i love him, but he said he didnt feel same. Still he said im amazing. Does that mean he also had feelings for me 'someway, somehow'? Plus he's been checking on me lately. I need your ...
A. 6 May 2011: It sounds like he likes and cares for you a lot as a friend, which is why he said you were amazing and has checked up on you. I doubt it's anymore than that if he himself said he doesn't feel that way.... (read in full...)
Do all guys just go out to get sex?
Q. i've dated a few guys in the last two months, one after the other and none of them ended up anywhere. i understand dating is hard, and obviously not everyone meets the right person. but soon after these guys went on two or so dates with me (which ...
A. 5 May 2011: At your age, yes quite a few guys are after sex. Still it is possible to find someone who wants a relationship too.
Out of interest where are you meeting these guys? Generally pubs/clubs or online dating sites aren't great places to find men and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to be a creep -- is this all there is?
Q. My bf of 2 years seems to be a creep. I was looking for a movie to watch on my laptop and stumbled into Google documents for the first time ever. I saw everything that my bf looked up on the laptop for the last 5 years +. I saw all kinds of ...
A. 4 May 2011: Looking at porn in itself (unless it's child porn) isn't that worrying. You may not like it but on it's own it doesn't make him a dangerous pervert.
On the other hand trying to look at your teenage daughter in the shower and stealing her underwea... (read in full...)
I cannot stop this horrible feeling that he only wants me for sex.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year and we both come from a strict religion where dating and sex outside of marriage is forbidden. My siblings and his know that we are seeing each other and so do our friends but I haven't met his and ...
A. 4 May 2011: Does your religion require some sort of secrecy (e.g from parents), is that why you can't meet each other's friends? If it does then maybe I could understand slightly more why he just goes over to yours a lot and there's not much variation in ... (read in full...)
Anti social workmates - feeling isolated!!
Q. Hi. I'm not one for being anti-social. I'm usually quite a jolly person with a good sense of humour - but I started a new job not long ago (a temporary job) - and all my workmates just keep themselves to themselves! - If you've been on holiday - ...
A. 4 May 2011: No I wouldn't say that's normal. I've never worked in or heard of a place like that.
Even in very busy jobs most people I knew would politely enquire as to how something like a holiday had been. It wasn't always an in-depth converstaion just a q... (read in full...)
Why is it bad to lose your virginity to a Prostitute?
Q. I'm a 28 year old male virgin, who has never had a girlfriend. I have asked dozens of women out in my life though I was always rejected. There were plenty of women that I liked but did not approach them because I knew they had boyfriends already. I ...
A. 3 May 2011: "a) "You'll have a problem if you tell your future wife you lost it to an escort" True, but only if she's a virgin. If she's had her fair share of boyfriends, surely she carries more baggage." Personally, if I met a man who I found out (or he... (read in full...)
Anything sexual with b/f makes me depressed!
Q. Relatively recently I've been having an issue with sex with my partner. We're on two and a half years, and still strong, but recently after every time we have sex, or anytime things have become sexual, I begin feeling depressed. I have had a histor...
A. 3 May 2011: Well stress and depression of any sort can affect your sex drive a lot, especially if you're more prone to them and have trouble dealing with it. So I think that could explain this: "I still feel just as good throughout the whole thing, though ta... (read in full...)
I don't have any friends!
Q. This may sound a bit pathetic to people reading this but I don't have any friends. I live at home, with my sick mother and so don't have housemates to hang out with. I have tried to go to social events with different interest groups, etc b...
A. 3 May 2011: Hi, I was in a similar situation to yours with friends a while ago. All the classes I tried to attend were cancelled due to lack of numbers too and there were very few social events/groups near me.
There is some good advice here, I found ringing ... (read in full...)
Am I addicted or is this just a phase?
Q. i think i am addicted to sex. me and my bf have been going with each other for 7 months and it is quite serious. he is absolutely great at sex. not only does he have a huge package but he knows how to touch me and lick me. he sends me crazy an...
A. 2 May 2011: Just enjoy it while it lasts as I doubt it will last indefinitely, judging by what other people who been in relationships for many years say. Once the 'honeymoon' stage of the relationship is over I suspect the amount of sex you have will decrease ... (read in full...)
Anything sexual with b/f makes me depressed!
Q. Relatively recently I've been having an issue with sex with my partner. We're on two and a half years, and still strong, but recently after every time we have sex, or anytime things have become sexual, I begin feeling depressed. I have had a histor...
A. 2 May 2011: Has anything changed with you and your partner recently that could have brought on these feelings? Or anything that's happened in your life in general? Is the depression totally centered around sex or have you been feeling down about other things ... (read in full...)
What would be the reasons why my GF is unable to have satisfying sex?
Q. This question is regarding my girlfriends inability to have sex; we are both well legal and have been dating for 2 years. the first time we tried i neglected a condom (stupidly, though nothing happened) as it was an experiment of sorts to see if I ...
A. 2 May 2011: "Basically all I can think of is that mentally she is subconsciously worried about pain and probably clenches muscles."
This is a possibility if you've been using lube/foreplay etc, a year is a little long to still be feeling that much pain. It... (read in full...)
Do I end the relationship? He has made his ex pregnant. We had planned our wedding for the end of this year
Q. I am in a dilemma,my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex girlfriend and now she is pregnant. The girl, my boyfriend's ex, will have the baby. This girl sent me an email detailing that my boyfriend is being horrible to her and that he doesn't ...
A. 2 May 2011: "shd i still give up on him when i feel so connected to him?"
Are you willing to be cheated on again? Are you happy to accept that you love and care for him more than he does you? Are you willing to take the risk of marrying him when there ar... (read in full...)
Why is he not accepting or denying me?
Q. About a week ago I sent a friend request on facebook to a guy I used to see. We had a very passionate on and off experience. He just today wished a mutual friend of ours on fb a happy birthday (a friend I constantly write to and writes to me... to ...
A. 2 May 2011: I would just forget about him for now. If I had to guess I'd say he didn't want to look rude by denying your request but at the same time he didn't accept it because he doesn't want to be in contact.
It is possible he didn't see the friend r... (read in full...)
Why do women need to constantly be in contact?
Q. My girlfriend wants some sort of daily contact, but me I'm fine if a go a week w/o so much as a text. Why do women seem to need to remain in constant contact?...
A. 1 May 2011: Believe me, I know how you feel. Most guys I dated needed daily contact too. A couple would text me around 5 times a day which was really frustrating as I'm someone who likes my own space.
I think we're in the minority in not needing as much con... (read in full...)
Am I wrong? Or can it be as black and white as this?
Q. I've been thinking about this for a while and I think I finally have my answer. Tell me if you think I'm wrong. (or right? LOL) If a man knows that his porn viewing is hurting his girl, and he continues to do it, doesn't that mean he doesn't ...
A. 1 May 2011: It depends on the people involved so there is no right or wrong answer to this sort of issue. Some women have no problem with and enjoy porn, on the other end of the scale there are women like you to whom it is very hurtful. I can't tell you y... (read in full...)
Do I end the relationship? He has made his ex pregnant. We had planned our wedding for the end of this year
Q. I am in a dilemma,my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex girlfriend and now she is pregnant. The girl, my boyfriend's ex, will have the baby. This girl sent me an email detailing that my boyfriend is being horrible to her and that he doesn't ...
A. 1 May 2011: Break it off.
- He cheated.
- He is as much responsible for the baby as the ex girlfriend and yet he's being horrible to her about it all, not supportive and not even just distant. Do you really want to settle down with someone like this? He co... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, he's married but I still wants us to be friends
Q. I got a crush on a bus driver. He plays and teases me every now and again but I never let him know how I felt. One day, I got on his route to go to my college campus and he began telling me his college goals. Next thing I knew, we had more than ...
A. 29 April 2011: Maybe because he does have feelings for you, he wants to back off so they don't get any stronger which is actually the responsible thing to do. If he sticks around, sees you and spends time with you as a friend and these feelings continue to grow... (read in full...)
I've fallen out of love with my husband
Q. I have fallen out of love with my husband of 15 years. We have three beautiful and kind children and a lovely home. Several years ago, for about 3 years straight, my husband was in a very dark place due to some investments gone bad. I tried to ...
A. 19 April 2011: I would go for some counselling if I were you, 15 years is a long time to of been together so the relationship's worth trying to save at least. Tell your husband you're still confused by your feelings, it may hurt him to hear it but honesty is best ... (read in full...)
I was 23 a few months ago but can still very easily pass for a 14yr old!! Is there any way I can I make myself look older without making myself look cheap?
Q. My problem is that I look so young for my age. I was 23 a few months ago but can still very easily pass for a 14yr old. For example I always just get given a childs ticket for the bus/train without even having to ask, which you can only get if ...
A. 4 April 2011: Hi, thanks for the replies. I know it's not the worst problem to have by a long shot but it just gets frustrating sometimes when I have to work twice as hard to be treated like an adult while everyone else I know doesn't even have to think about i... (read in full...)
Fat girl seeking a man that love fat women
Q. i am a 19 year old female. i am a heavy girl and i have never had a boyfriend or even my first kiss. I am horrible on the computer. I have been searching the web for men seeking very fat woman but can not find any chat rooms for men seeking the fat ...
A. 3 April 2011: To be honest I wouldn't go on a chat room that specifically concentrates on big women at first if I were you. I'm sure that there are some genuine people on them but it raises the chance you'll find someone with a fetish who will only be interested ... (read in full...)
How can I instigate meeting up with him when not drunk?
Q. I have been talking to this guy for around a month, he saw me on a night out with a mutual friend then added me on Facebook the next day and we really got on when chatting...Which lead to alot of texting. We then met each other when drunk on a night ...
A. 3 April 2011: Well there's not really much point in making up some elaborate plan.....just message him on Facebook asking if he wants to meet up for coffee or go to the cinema etc. If he says yes, great. If he says no then he's not interested. Given by what ... (read in full...)
Was this really a mutual breakup?
Q. just broke up with a guy I dated for about 6 weeks bc he wasn't attentive enough. I began pulling by canceling our weekend plans and turning down his request to spend time together on Thursday. Although he could tell I was upset, he still acted like ...
A. 3 April 2011: The actual breakup sounds pretty mutual. It sounds like you were more the one to instigate it but if he wasn't being overly attentive then maybe that was his way of trying to back out of the relationship. It's possible he wants you back but seei... (read in full...)
Does this mean love?
Q. if you're kissing a boy and you put your hands down his pants and start to masturbate him, and he starts to breathe really hard and heavy and put his head on my shoulder, what does this mean? and can a boy be in love with a girl but not tell any...
A. 2 April 2011: The first part of question means he's excited. It doesn't mean love. It can be part of a loving relationship but nothing more on it's own.
As for: "can a boy be in love with a girl but not tell anyone?"
It's possible, if a bit unusual. In your... (read in full...)
I take her back and she's at it again. What should I do?
Q. okay my girlfriend and i have been with psychotherapy for 2 years! however a year ago she got talking to some male friends and decided that i was boring and said she hated me! just as i was beginning to get my life back on track she asks for me ...
A. 2 April 2011: Sorry but I'm going to be really honest with you here, she doesn't love you. She's clearly using you as a back-up for when her other relationships don't work out.
Sooner or later she will leave you for good when she finds someone else. It doesn... (read in full...)
I want off "friend" status. Should I try or just end it?
Q. Hi! I have a really confusing situation here, every help appreciated. I'm 27 she's 19. I've met this girl 2 years ago and we were dating for a year and a half. 6 months ago she moved temporarily to another city (some 40km away) and soon after s...
A. 2 April 2011: What makes you think she won't start acting funny again? It's doubtful a relationship would ever work out between the two of you.
If you still have feelings for her and she moves back and you're seeing each other frequently, then you could we... (read in full...)
I am not too keen on kids and don't want my step child living with us!
Q. Hi there and thank you for reading this in advance. I am going to be very honest here so here goes. I am 45 and married to a man who has a child with another woman. Before we were married my husband rarely saw the child because the mother would not ...
A. 2 April 2011: Well the only options you really have are either leave your husband or stay with him and stick it out. There's no magic answer here or even a compromise. I seriously doubt he would but what do you expect your husband to do? Abandon his son ... (read in full...)
Tried to get my GF to "change" for me, but I'm still not attracted to her and there's no sexual tension
Q. I've been with my GF for 3 years now, but our relationship is missing sexual tension. I'll try to be as honest as possible. You will judge my behavior as selfish, and I will not object, but know that when I'm changing my GF to my tastes, I'm trying ...
A. 1 April 2011: I think your only option is number 2. From what you've written nothing she can or will do is going to be enough for you to feel attraction towards her. If she's a healthy weight how will her becoming thinner drastically change that for you? I... (read in full...)
Getting married...and afraid of leaving home.
Q. Hi there, I may sound rather childish but I can't help feelign this way. I'm getting married and have lived at home all my life - with mom and dad - and now will be moving in with my husband after the wedding. I have mixed feelings about t...
A. 1 April 2011: I can understand how big a change it must be for you but at the end of the day you should be worrying more about your own long term happiness than the state of the house. I can see why you would be attached seeing as you've lived there for so long ... (read in full...)
He always says "don't trip" and I don't understand...
Q. I just started dating this guy and we have been hitting it off well. He seems to know when to be serious and knows when enough is enough. But at times he seems to act weird. Whenever I disagree with something or let him know that I won't be arou...
A. 1 April 2011: Could be he's a bit immature, not being able to talk something through if you disagree with him or if he's disappointed you won't be around. So he'll resort to that to try and end the conversation there. Or it could be just as he says - a bad hab... (read in full...)
Being a single mom is hard...Is it bad to wish it hadn't happened?
Q. Is it bad to wish for things not to happen? I wish I had never met a man, so I wouldn't have been in position of being knocked up. Being a "single mom" was not in my plans. If my child screams, I scream. I have no support system. My child is with...
A. 1 April 2011: No, it's not unusual or wrong to have those feelings when going through a hard time especially if you are depressed. No one can help what thoughts they have, it's whether they act on them that matters. I know someone who was in a similar position... (read in full...)
Should I be jealous if my girl sits in my friends lap (innocently)?
Q. Hello Everyone. I have been dating this girl for about a year and a half and so far we haven't really fought over anything major, at least rarely. Recently, after saying I would stop being jealous over stupid stuff, might have been a bad idea, she ...
A. 31 March 2011: I think in this case you do have a right to be jealous, she herself admitted she wouldn't like it if it was the other way around and I don't think a fair few women would like it if girls sat on their boyfriend's lap. If your only problem is her s... (read in full...)
Should I continue dating this guy ? (one red flag)
Q. I met a guy from an online site sunday for a drink...it went well..the bar was dark so apart of me was thinking maybe we wont even know if we are truly attracted you know? He seems like a very genuine guy (but i am still cautious from past ...
A. 31 March 2011: ....This is a tough one, the logical thing to advise you to do is to give it a couple of more dates. If you don't feel any attraction to him after that then I doubt you will. You're right to say that him describing some girls as hoes and acting ... (read in full...)
Paranoia or red flags?
Q. I'm 25, with my bf 3 years. When we got together he said one of his best mates is a girl who he was with in the past and who he was crazy about. He said thats old history now. Thing is though, over the last 3 years he has done several things that ...
A. 31 March 2011: It really could be either. The first few things you mention don't seem overly suspicious, my best friend is a guy and we go out for lunch, have drinks together, email, text but nothing ever happens.
It gets slightly odd when you mention the hous... (read in full...)
Time for this virgin to get her sexy on!
Q. I'm a 24-year-old virgin and I've just now got my first boyfriend. Got your attention yet? Good. Anyhow, he knows I'm a virgin, and so he's been a really patient guy and letting me take it slow. We've fooled around, sure, but he always stops himself ...
A. 31 March 2011: Well maybe you could wait until it's one of those night where you're both fooling around and when he goes to stop, ask him to carry on perhaps?
If he asks or hesitates just say you've thought it through and feel ready. That should be enough. ... (read in full...)
My wife to be revealed her sexual past. I feel sick to my stomach
Q. I am 31, she is 29. She is drop dead gorgeous. We fell in love a year and a half ago when she was one of my day nurses when I had spent some time in the hospital recovering from a tumor in my knee (non cancerous) During our time dating, I would ...
A. 31 March 2011: It's come as a shock so don't make any rash decisions just yet. I'd stay at your brothers for a while longer, I don't think you're in the right, calm frame of mind to discuss this with her just yet.
I can't really offer advice on what to do. Just... (read in full...)
Should I regret losing my virginity?
Q. Should I regret losing my V-card? last year I gave my virginity to my first bf ( I was 22 and he was 25)...at first things were great I thought we were in love, but I guess it was just lust. We dated for a month, then he dumped me and then we were ...
A. 31 March 2011: No you shouldn't regret it. Everyone makes mistakes, it's part of life. It's much healthier to accept you made a mistake, move on and hopefully learn from it in the process.
A lot of nonsense is spoken about virginity, it's simply sharing the expe... (read in full...)
I'm growing up and feeling sexual and I'm worried about how far I will go.
Q. i am getting these strange attractions to practically all the boys.. i feel very sexually attracted to them, and to be honest, im quite worried about how far i would go if they took advantage. the summer is coming up and there is always a harmless ...
A. 31 March 2011: I suggest you try your hardest to avoid doing something by e.g not putting yourself in situations where they could take advantage. You're too young but even if you were older, it's not wise to have sex after only a month or two of seeing someone for ... (read in full...)
My wife speaks very nasty to me when upset over minor things, and expects me to forget what is said
Q. My wife and I have had a wonderful relationship for 15 years...(3 arguments if you can believe it). Lately, she has been getting very nasty, over minor disagreements. While upset, she has said things such as she doesn't care what i think, she ...
A. 30 March 2011: If this is a recent thing then yes there could well be some underlying reason for it. I suggest you sit down, tell her how much these comments are affecting you and if anything is bothering her. If that doesn't work then consider counselling/courses ... (read in full...)
A lack of attention from women is really starting to affect my confidence. How can I improve my success with women?
Q. A lack of attention from women is really starting to affect my confidence. Okay, I know that clubs are not a great place to meet women, but it has worked for me in the past and I know it works for a lot of guys. I just feel like women aren't att...
A. 30 March 2011: 'In recent weeks'...I think this could be your problem, you haven't given it overly long by the sounds of it. Women like confidence so continue on with this for a bit and see how it goes. If in six months+ it hasn't worked at all then you might have ... (read in full...)
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