A
male
age
36-40,
*trawberryletter23
writes:hello againI had been goin out with a girl recently for nearly a year and absouloutely adored her.Words cannot describe how much i though we would be together,we fought and rowed and made up and at beginning they were huge arguements but then we would just laugh at eachother and be like,this is nonsense.things went great and next thing we were living together and still things were great,we had problems with our careers and struggled but we got through them and it made us even stronger.but my girlfriend lost her job and didnt wrk for months and we both moved home with our parents our separate ways.i was gutted,since then our relationship had been strained,and stressful and complicated and we were acting out of character alot with eachother.we had the biggest arguement the other day and,to me,a relationship is based on trust and i didnt fully trust her,i know she was lying to me about her and a dude from her work aftr her mum slipped up and wouldnt admit it.it wasnt that that bothered me it was the fact she didnt feel i was worth the truth,but what hurt the most was she didnt feel i was worth listening to wen i was trying to tell her how i feel.im devastated she treated me this way but i still love her,i still miss her,i want to do everything i can to try get her back but whats the use when she doesnt want to give me the time of day?i just feel so upset that i stuck by her when she was accusing me of things when i couldve said"ive had enough of this" and left but its such a drama when its me doing it? now i reflect on things and think she never really was as fair to me as i was with her? it was always take it or leave it,and it hurts but its just not acceptable.i wish i could change her so she didnt do that to me.its hard not talking to her she meant everything to mei want to move on but i just feel if she rang me and just said lets get a grip here and realise were meant to be together i'd do it.But i cant go crawling back to her everytime we argue,especially when its her thts caused it?i have other girls already flirting with me and stuff and its nice but its never gna happen i just want my girlfriend back but i cant go back knowing she doesnt give a sh!t how i feel or what im thinkingdo u think i should try and give it all ive got to try win her back because i dont think ive got the energy if i werent to get her back,itd be too much hurt on my heart?or do you think i should just move on,i realise im gna be heartbroken either way but i dont think it'l hurt as much if i try move on as to it hurting if i went back for herthanks for readingplease help:(
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male
reader, strawberryletter23 +, writes (29 May 2011):
strawberryletter23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell thanks for your answer,i tried to make her see sense and not to rush things but she didnt want to know,infact the way she acted today was the same way she acted on thursday.wasnt interested in hearing what i had to say,it was only about her.we were planning on saving up and going to australia together,but now i booked a flight to ibiza on my debit card and fly out next thursday! come back for my brothers wedding and then off to oz,im sure i'll manage to get over her that way,just wish things had been different,thankyou for your help and support.just shows u dnt need to physically be present to actually be there for someone.thankyou
A
female
reader, Orbiter +, writes (28 May 2011):
I know it's hard but in this situation I think you should just move on. From a neutral perspective, you've told me at the beginning of the relationship there was a lot of arguing, there were always to some extent problems, she began lying to you, didn't seem willing to talk about it and finally you both broke up. All this happened in under a year, not a 15yr marriage where stresses and strains really begin to show.I'm sure there were good times but sounds more like your feeling/hormones are overwhelming you. You have to realise there's virtually no chance it would ever work. If you get back together you'll have to go through this all over again until one of you leaves for good. Which will mean far more hurt in the long run.Realise you're going to be heartbroken for a bit but keep yourself busy, try not to obsess over this and you'll move on and get over it. You'll find an even happier relationship and this will all be history which you'll just accept as part of your life experience. Don't focus too much on what she did, just accept she wasn't the right girl for you.
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