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Does casual sex equal loose morals?

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Question - (13 February 2006) 5 Answers - (Newest, 15 February 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

If all you want is sex when you go out and nothing more, does that mean you have loose morals? Male or female? Does just wanting a s**g with the opposite sex show a lack of self respect? Should they even respect you when all you want to do is screw and go?

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A female reader, mystify +, writes (15 February 2006):

mystify agony auntyou cant demand respect of someone who dosent know you other than having had sex with you , respect is earned, but the same goes for them , would you really respect them?!

but if thats what you want to do then fine, just as long as everyone knows what the deal is then there should be no problem with it, but there are risks, like std's, pregnancy, abuse (if you dont know the guy from adam) and damage to future relationships, so my advise would be just to take care if this is what you want to do

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2006):

Whether or not you have loose morals for doing this, all depends one's conscience-how a person has been raised, what ethical beliefs they have. Morals are a code, we have for distinguishing what we "think" is good and bad behaviours. I can only tell you what my personal belief is in regards to casual sex. Whether you agree or disagree, that is up to you.

These are my own personal beliefs. I equate sex with love, and love with commitment, respect and trust. And trust takes a long time to build. I believe for a good personal relationship between people, they need to respect and trust each other. It’s very difficult to experience that true intimacy through casual sex. Sex without commitment is very risky for the heart. More often than not, women do get hurt in these situations much more than men because with most (not all) women, 'sex does drive the heart'. Men are hardwired differently. Many men can do it and simply walk away. I believe-people are not things we exchange bodily fluids with and then just discard after we get our cheap thrills. When people treat others as sexual objects and exploit them for their own pleasure, we not only lose self-respect; we corrupt our characters and debase our sexuality in the process. Depending on one's belief's, guilt is a strong sense of having done something morally wrong. Guilt is a normal and healthy moral response, a sign that one's conscience is working.

So if you have the belief that casual sex isn't for you, then don't do it. There are reprecussions down the road, and the deepest wounds you could give yourself will be heartfelt. That sick, used feeling of having given a precious part of yourself-your soul-to so many and for nothing, will linger on and on. It could be a price you will pay so dearly for and for so long. Aside from all the health risks, you risk carrying the emotional scars of these sexual experiences. It could come back and create problems, someday when a true love comes into your life. A new love may not have the 'freethinking' mindset toward casual sex, that another does. This could create problems in a relationship. This website recieves letters from people "who are haunted with their partner's sexual past". Some people do have problems with this lifestyle. Sex certainly can be a source of great pleasure and joy. But it should be amply clear sex also can be the source of deep wounds and suffering. Just proceed with caution and think ahead. Good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2006):

I believe that morals are what you make of it, just like principles. Morals have ties to society of course - in terms of harm and care, but when coming to sex, you can't really say if it is immoral or not. What do your personal morals say about that? What do your principles on shagging with strangers and friends alike say?

Personally, if you screw some guy for the sake of pleasure, sure go right ahead. However, say you screw that guy and he already has a girlfriend or wife, my principles tell me that though you yourself aren't doing anything wrong and only the guy is doing wrong, you are contributing to the wrong by being a participant. Mind you, that is my personal belief.

You are what you are. Do what you want based on what you want and not what others think. Ultimately, it will be between you and the other person.

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A reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (13 February 2006):

Rebecca Batchelor agony auntI kind of agree with willywombat apart from the fact that I believe if you require a relationship with committment and emotional attachment it doesn't mean you are weak or emotionally needy! Quite the reverse really. Often people who just want sex have a reason for that; even an inhibition or a reluctance to form an emotional attachment for some reason and some could instead consider that as not being a strong person.

I think we are all unique and all should do as we see fit as long as no one else gets hurt. The problem here is that often someone does get hurt because there is a lot involved; eg, not leading the other person on, making them aware it is just for casual sex, not doing it to raise your own self-esteem, do you see each other again? The list is a bit endless.

However, relationships too have pitfalls and disadvantages. Some people are more moralistic than others and it really is just down to what makes you feel the best about yourself and respecting how other people may feel.

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (13 February 2006):

willywombat agony auntNo, I don't believe it does. Unfortunately there are other agony aunts on here that spend there time pulling other peoples opinions to pieces but hey, you asked for an opinion.

I believe if you are honest with yourself about why you are just wanting sex and are not just doing it to raise self-esteem or to make yourself feel attractive for example, then I see no harm in it.

If you want sex to scratch an itch (a phrase which upsets some people on here I have found), to sort out a simple biological urge then it isnt harm anyone. So long as you practice safe sex and are not leading the other person on with false promises of relatuionships.

To be fair tho if you are not a strong person, or are an emotionally needy person it probably isn't the best idea in the world. Get a vibrator and save yourself the hassle of the emotional involvement.

I dont advocate sex with or without an emotional attatchment, I just think there is nothing wrong with chosing to do whatever you want as long as it harms NOBODY ELSE!

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