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female
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*m I Lost w/o him?
writes: My boyfriend of 8 years is working out of state and living in a Dump of a hotel because that is the only place available..He is in the Katrina Hurricane area of Louisiana USA..Well long story short he wants me and our son who is in Kindergarten to move there NOW. I want to wait until my son is out of school in May. We have been there twice for 10 days each trip since Nov 05 and planned on going again Spring Break in March but he is insisting we move there..I do not think a nasty hotel full of construction workers is the place for me or my son and there are no reasonable homes for rent in the area as the destruction is wide spread. He plans on living there for about 1 year then move to the Caribbean where he is from. What do you think I should do? He is hanging up on me when I phone him about this issue...He is sort of childish I think. Any advice? Thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mystify +, writes (16 February 2006):
 hi,
i have two youngsons and one of the proudest things in my life is to be able to say from nothing i have a stable home for them in a good area in good surroundings and full of the things that they need and want.
you already say h is childish and demanding...he is simply thinking of himself and his own needs and wants, put your child first, he is the one most likely to be affected by such a situation but with the least say in the matter, your son needs you
good luck
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 February 2006):
 A nasty hotel in a disaster area is definitely no place for an active kindergardner. Your partner is being childish if he can't realize this. He probably is missing his family so much that loneliness is clouding his judgment a tad. You don't say how far away you are but frequent visits will help the year fly by until you can be together and move to the Caribbean. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (15 February 2006):
 I thnk the need to care for your child is the most important thing here. And as a mother, if you feel uneasy or unsure about whether to move to this area then go with your instincts. This could create trouble in your marriage, but after all you are only talking about 2-3months wait. All the chopping and changing wont help your child.
If he wont listen to you then sit down and write a letter and send it by snail mail. An email is to easy to erase, but a letter can be read and then reread later when the recipient has calmed down a little! Explain why you feel the way you do and why you are making the choices you have made.
Ultimatelty, do not be bullied into doing something that you feel uncomfortable with.
Good luck
xxx
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