I'm happily married but fell for a colleaque! What shall I do?
Q. I know this sounds crazy-I am truly happily married but fell for a colleague who's been dating someone else (not seriously) for a while. I've been trying to hide this feeling by being just a helpful friend to him. Not sure if he suspects anything. ...
A. 15 December 2005: If you are as happily married as you say, you avoid this colleague! You are responsible for your actions here and if you wish to stay in your marriage and keep your work as uncomplicated as possible it is up to you to stay away from this person ... (read in full...)
If I date a good friend, will that ruin our friendship, if things don't work out?
Q. I'm 16 and i need help. There's a girl at school that I cant stop thinking about and she has thought about me before but I don't know what to do because she's a good friend and I don't want to ruin that and I don't think she want's to either. Please ...
A. 14 December 2005: In many cases it is hard to maintain a friendship after a relationship gone sour. Thats not to say it has never been done but it is very hard to get over whatever made the relationship not work, and in the end some people just can't do it. You ... (read in full...)
He wants no contact for 2 weeks but it's been 3 days and I'm anxious to contact him! Help
Q. iv been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2years and he just asked for a break. we have a fantastic relationship or at least i thought we did but this has come out of nowhere. just 2 months ago he was extremely loved up. now he wants no contact for at least ...
A. 13 December 2005: Here is how I see it, if you don't give it the two weeks he will probably resent you for not giving him the time off he requested. I am concerned at what he thinks he will be able to work out in two weeks and why he would want to work it out ... (read in full...)
What do I do about this flirtatious female who flirts constantly with my husband?
Q. i have been with my husband for about 18 years and i have a problem with some mutual friends , we have been friends with these people for about 5 years from the beginning i could sense a attraction between my husband and the my husbands friends ...
A. 13 December 2005: I feel like you guys are setting yourselves up for some real hard times if you continue to associate with these people. This fun and flirty female may turn out to be a homewrecker if she isn't constantly supervised around your hubby. Your husband ... (read in full...)
I have no feelings for a guy I used to fancy but I can't convince this new guy...help!
Q. Dear agony aunt... I'm in need of some serious help,for the past few months i have been working with a new guy at work, i really enjoy his company and he makes me feel special,although i don't know if he feels the same way about me as i do about hi...
A. 13 December 2005: Sounds to me like you need to tell the new guy that you have feelings for him not the old guy. Maybe if he knows you like him he will believe you. Hope that helps.... (read in full...)
He always gets pissed off with me for what i think, is no apparent reason. How do we stop the bickering?
Q. i have been going out with my boyfriend now for about 10weeks. in the begining we did not have arguments at all, but now we do. These arguments are over the stupidest things, that do not even matter. When i try not to make it an argument he some ...
A. 13 December 2005: You should definitely not have to put up with this sort of thing. He is not giving you the right to have an opinon at all. I am sorry to say it but I really think you need to break up with him, no one deserves to be with someone controlling. Go ... (read in full...)
We broke up but can we be together again?
Q. About 8 years ago, the father of my youngest son decided that 'there was no future for us together', this was after a 7 year relationship. Since then he has had some serious medical issues that he has been dealing with and i think has now resolved. ...
A. 13 December 2005: Honest and open communication is a wonderful way to start. Tell him not only what you are feeling now but what you would like to happen in the future, since he broke it off before feeling you had no future together. Good luck.... (read in full...)
He's in contact with other people off the internet...can I ever fully trust him?
Q. I wonder if you can give me some advice. I feel very confused. I have been with my partner 6 months and love him dearly. About 3 months into the relationship I looked at his phone and found text messages which where pretty sexual from a girl he'd ...
A. 13 December 2005: Whether or not he is meeting up with these people, it can still be an affair. An emotional affair is one that can be sexual or not and many times they start out as just friends. Often what starts out as casual convesation turns into feelings of ... (read in full...)
Can we have a long distant relationship if we can't be together?
Q. I have a very close net friend, who I have been chatting to for quite a while. We are very very close. I really like him more then a friend and I know he likes me more too, hes made those feelings very clear to me. The thing is he lives in a ...
A. 13 December 2005: It sounds like you pretty much have your mind made up already. I will spare you my feelings on internet relationships because you obviously don't want to hear anything that isn't a positive comment on the whole thing. I will advise you to be ... (read in full...)
Do I try and save my relationship or try to be with a guy I like?
Q. I'm 19 nd have been in a relationship for over a year, but in the last month or so I feel like we're growing apart. We both go to dif colleges, have dif interests and recently there hasn't been alot of conversation between us he seems to prefer ...
A. 13 December 2005: Really carrying on a long distance relationship isn't going to benefit you in any way. I am not saying that plenty of people in their late teens don't have long distance relationships that work out just fine, but you sound like you are slowly ... (read in full...)
She wanted to slow things down but she now ignores me totally!
Q. Me and my girlfriend decided to slow our relationship down after we got off to a pretty hot and heavy start. It was mostly her decision, but I agreed and was willing to slow things down. I've been trying to get together with her, but she always ...
A. 13 December 2005: If she asked you to slow it down and then started ignoring you, I doubt she thinks you gave up, she was probably unable to find the words to break it off with you or was afraid to hurt you. This girl sounds a little immature and you are probably ... (read in full...)
We dont talk, he shouts and swears...what do I do?
Q. hi im 23 and have one son with my current partner he is alway playing world of warcraft and we never talk he shouts and swears at us but blames me i work hard i get told im having affairs he looks on my phone and though my stuff. ive been with him ...
A. 13 December 2005: First thing your son is both of your responsibility, if he is going down hill (which I seriously doubt he is) then it is not just because of you it would be because of both of you. You are an adult and have the right to be treated as such. No one ... (read in full...)
I back away when things get serious...what should I do?
Q. I am 20 years old and have been in 2 serious relationships both lasting over 2 and a half years each. I have been single for 9 months now. I have had 3 one night stands in this time but nothing serious. I started getting involved with this guy but ...
A. 13 December 2005: After two such long relationships I think the smartest thing you can do is keep it casual for a while. You are probably still healing from your last relationship and need some time to yourself. Don't rush into another relationship and when the ... (read in full...)
Is she worth the risk if I tell her how I feel about her?
Q. heya, im a student and im in an immpossible situation, it would be great to get some advice as to what to do. im a student, and there are four of us in my house. 2 men and 2 women. the other girl and guy fell in love and were in a relationship for...
A. 13 December 2005: I can see why you are so confused about what to do here. Because she is not a lesbian, there may not be a way to do anything with out putting your friendship in great jeapordy. What seems like flirting to you may be how she interacts with her ... (read in full...)
He loves another girl and plans on marrying her...do I tell him I love him too?
Q. Hi girls....I wonder if u could help me coz' i know this guy for a very long time and hes a very good friend of mine. Charmy/good looking. But the thing is its about awhile that i think like ive fell in love with him and i cant stop thinking about ...
A. 13 December 2005: If you really think of him as a friend and love him as you say you do why would you want to ruin everything for him? If he is planning to marry someone, it would be terrible for you to come into the picture trying to break him and the other girl ... (read in full...)
I long to be with someone else but what about my girlfriend?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 18 months, she lives with me and I am her world. She cut herslef off (own choice) from all her friends and just lives for me. 3 months ago I met a lady through work who is really cool, fun and I am really attrac...
A. 13 December 2005: Obviously, it is unfair to your current girl friend to stay with her if you long for someone else. Before you breal things off with her you should try to think about a few things. Have you done this in previous relationships? Is this some kind of ... (read in full...)
Do I date this guy in my band or the other fellow who is 9 years older?
Q. Hi, I really need some advice urgently! ok well im 16 and in a band, and i think my guitarist likes me ALOT. He is always play fighting with me and telling me that I rock and that im special. He is always staring at me and he just seems so perfect. ...
A. 13 December 2005: You are 16 and as such you are interested in many people at one time, if I were you I would not form a relationship with any of them until you are sure of which one you want. It would be unfair to everyone involved if you picked the wrong one and ... (read in full...)
She can't make up her mind and I'm fed up-it's either her ex or me.
Q. is it normal to be insecured over my girlfriend relation to her ex partner? Back in july 05 i meet a very nice girl in a night club. In october i moved in with her and her 4 years old daughter. The first 3 months were really nice, we got to ...
A. 13 December 2005: A lot of your problems may stem from the fact that you bothed moved very quickly from your previous relationships into your current one, after a long relationship a few months is often not enough time to work out old problems and rediscover who you ... (read in full...)
Does he want me or his ex-girlfriend?
Q. Who's in love with the guy age 29. we've been together for three year now and we started living together early this year before i got a job. i stated working form april 2005 will i was working that company his boss ask if i'm happy were i was ...
A. 13 December 2005: I agree with you, it does not seem right that he would want to continue to have contact with this girl while in a relationship with you. Perhaps he is feeling anxious because you are going to be employed with his company and is turning to his ex as ... (read in full...)
It could be real love if we got together, but how do I ask him out without embarrassment?
Q. I really like this guy at school and he is really nice to me. I don't know whether to ask him out or not in case he says no, because I don't want to embarras me or him. He is so sexy but see as I'm only 13. I think we could give it a try. I know ...
A. 13 December 2005: I would not let the fear of rejection stop you from asking him out if you think he likes you. If we do nothing everytime we are afraid someone will reject us, no one would have jobs or do anything else. If he does say no remember that their are a ... (read in full...)
Still carrying a torch for my 9-years-ago ex. Should I try to contact him one more time?
Q. I came to live in Switzerland 11 years ago because of a man that I loved. I was very young at the time we got together (20 years old). He was the same age as me. We stayed together for 2 years and then he told me he wanted to marry me. I just ...
A. 13 December 2005: He was probably just trying to hurt you at the time he said those things, after a break up sometimes people say things they don't mean just to get a reaction. If you have already tried to contact him twice and he has not replied it may be because ... (read in full...)
I'm sorry for my bad behaviour in the past, but I can't change it. Can we ever get back together?
Q. Before I start sorry for such a long mail. i'd really appreciate loads of advice as I just need someone to tell me it'll work out!! My bf of 3yrs and I recently broke up. Was quite a weird 3 months, i broke up with him as I felt he wasn't spendi...
A. 13 December 2005: The whole thing sounds like it was really disfunctional from the start. If I were you I would definitely cut all ties with this guy, it really sounds like he is more than willing to take whatever he can get from you but not give anything back. By ... (read in full...)
My husband wants to keep "his" money separate from "mine". Is this normal?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been married for almost a year now. I grew up in an old fashioned home setting. I grew up seeing my father bringing home his paycheck and giving it to my mother, who also worked. She would then use the two paychecks to pay...
A. 12 December 2005: It is true that in the marriages of the past most people had a combined "pot" and all of the money earned went into it to contribute to paying the household expensive. In todays world no one can really say what is normal for any one couple as the ... (read in full...)
It took me ages to move on, but now that I have -- my ex is trying to be ME back!
Q. Hello, I am 22-years-old and going through a lot with my ex of almost 6 months. We were pre-engaged and together for almost 3 years and back in June, I broke up with him for creating online profiles saying he was single so he could talk to girls. ...
A. 12 December 2005: You may have to be cold in order for him to get the hint. If you are seriously trying to move on with out him then you need to tell him that you will not take his phone calls, read his emails, or reply to his text messages. It has taken you a lot ... (read in full...)
She's been gone only 2 days but I want her back here with me. Am I being overly selfish?
Q. Hi, I'm a 17 yr old man with a 17 yr old female gf. we've recently fallen in love with each other, but she has one to New York for 11 days and we said we will be emailing each other while she is over there. but she has only been gone for like 2 ...
A. 12 December 2005: As hard as it may seem it will not kill you to be apart for 11 days. Remember that time apart can mean wonderful reunions. ... (read in full...)
My wife would rather be with her computer than with me!
Q. Dear Agony Aunt.... Since I hooked my pc up to the net I have lost my wife to it. She spends her days and nights infront on the pc. We don't have a sex life anymore and she gets irate if I ask her to come to bed. I don't know what to do please h...
A. 12 December 2005: Unfortunately it is hard to help find a solution when the problem is laid out in such a vague manner. She is spending all of her time on the computer, but what is she doing while she is on it? If she is researching subjects of interest it is very ... (read in full...)
My friends have bf's and I'm a bit jealous. How do I get the confidence to talk to to guys?
Q. Dear Cupid, I don't really know how to start this. I really want a boyfriend, I guess. There's a guy I really like who's 13, but I hardly know him, I've just seen him around and he's mates with one of my other guy friends. There's also a group o...
A. 12 December 2005: To have confidence all you have to do is remind yourself of how great you are! When you look in the mirror tell yourself how beautiful and smart that person staring back at you really is, as you start to believe that you are a great person, one ... (read in full...)
Uni guy asked me for a drink but now I've seen him out with his g/f... What's the real deal?
Q. Okay so I like, well really like this guy "Donny" in my class at uni. We get on dead well and are always dead flirty and he has kinda hinted to me that he'd liked to go out with me ("We should go for a drink smtm...")But, shock horror, I was on the ...
A. 12 December 2005: Have you asked him if it was his girlfriend. If all you did was see him walking for all you know that could have been his sister. First thing you do here is say you saw him out walking with someone, and ask who it was. Another good thing to do is ... (read in full...)
Totally devastated by discovery that my husband masturbates and fantasizes frequently! Guys: Why?
Q. My husband masturbates very frequently and fantasizes about other women or images while doing so. I just found this out and I am absolutely devastated. We had what I thought was a GREAT active and monogamous sex life for over 13 years. I have always ...
A. 12 December 2005: I am not a guy but I feel like I know a little bit about this one. You did not go into much detail about what you meant when you said images, so I am giving you my opinion assuming he is not getting these images from internet porn or something like ... (read in full...)
I'm white-she's black..we're engaged. My family is making me choose them or her! Can you help me?
Q. dear cupid, i am i white man engaged to a black woman i love her so much but my family is pretty much making me choose them or her can you help me?...
A. 12 December 2005: There is no easy way when dealing with matters of the heart and family. You either give up your true love or your family. I came from a family (white) where it was forbidden to date out side of our race and if we should become pregnant with a ... (read in full...)
Help!! I'm so vain! I spend hours gazing at myself..what's wrong with me?
Q. Please help me. I am so vain. Whenever I pass myself in the mirror I look at myself and pose, sometimes even naked. I brush my hair and put makeup on just to look at myself and I can never draw myself away. Sometimes I even talk to my re...
A. 11 December 2005: I would work on cutting back just a bit. It is very healthy and normal to look at yourself. You also sound like you care a great deal about looking your best wich is a wonderful thing. Just don't let looking at yourself keep you from seeing all ... (read in full...)
She has feelings for me and her ex..do I forget her or keep trying?
Q. I was seeing this girl for several months although about 3 of those we were apart for summer brake as we are both at uni, but live in different towns. About a month ago she texted me sayin that she just wanted to be friends to which I found out she ...
A. 11 December 2005: Do you really want to continue an emotional involvment with someone that cares so little about your feelings? If you know that she is interested in someone else, maybe you should get out there and find your own someone else. Waiting around to see ... (read in full...)
I'm obsessing over how my boyfriend lost his virginity... Drunk, in a tent, with a non-virgin-girl older than him!
Q. Hi. My name is Polly, I am 18 years old, and I'm having a bad time. I feel I should warn you in advance that this is likely to be an extortionately long email, as I have a lot to get off my chest, but I really just want to start from the very be...
A. 11 December 2005: Okay, since you were not his girlfriend when it happened, you really have no right to be mad at him or the other woman for it. You really need to understand that you were not a part of this situation and by putting yourself in it you are makig it ... (read in full...)
How can you make your EX-boyfriend interested in you again?
Q. How can you make you ex-boyfriend intersted in you again without making it obvious? He acts like he still likes me, but is also interested in other girls.... but when I try to talk to other guys he gets all nervous and then tries to make me scared ...
A. 11 December 2005: First of all you can't make anyone like you, if you are not together and you feel thathe may still have feelings for you great, but it's not as if you can tie him to a chair and not let him go until he likes you. If you really want to stop the ... (read in full...)
Do I need to change to get her to show she loves me??
Q. Hey there, thanks for taking the time to check this post. I'm an 18 yr old in the first relationship that has lasted longer than 3 months (1yr+). the pretenses of this relationship are far too complicated to delve into but, readers digest vers...
A. 10 December 2005: In a relationship both partners will go through changes, a relationship that lasts will have both partners changing a ways that benefit each other. It is usually not conscious changes, you are both young and are growing up therefore the people you ... (read in full...)
I made my boyfriend up!
Q. When all my friends started to get boyfriends, I lied and told them that I had a boyfriend who lived in Scotland. I live in Wales so I'm sure they'll never find out if I don't tell them I made him up. My grandparents live in Scotland, so it ...
A. 10 December 2005: There is no real way to tell someone that you have lied to them without losing their trust. If you decide to tell them, be aware that you are very likely to face some teasing as a result of your lie. The lesson here is that you gained nothing by ... (read in full...)
When my wife enjoys the attention of another man, I feel threatened, even though I know she wouldn't cheat...
Q. What is considered normal as far as enjoying attention from members of the opposite sex, while married? Is it normal to be flattered if you know somebody is attracted to you and you enjoy it? If someone approaches my wife in a ...
A. 9 December 2005: I think if she has made it clear that she is married it is fine for her to chat with the guy. As far as dancing with him that is something you two need to work out together, there should be some happy medium that you will both be okay with. ... (read in full...)
Don't love my bf..should I break up with him again.. after just getting back together?
Q. (to those who have read my other entry will almost certainly roll their eyes when they read this...) i got back with my boyfriend after splitting for a week and i was happy at first, now ive met a guy who i have really clicked with.i have realised...
A. 9 December 2005: Please do this guy a afavor and break up with him! It may hurt him now, but he will heal and be able to find someone who can love him in return and treat him in a way he deserves to be treated. Stop stringing him along, it just isn't fair.... (read in full...)
He wanted to be with his friend...this makes me feel uncomfortable
Q. I've been in a wonderful relationship with a great man for 6 months. On our first date I asked him if he had been in a relationship since he separated from his wife two years ago. He said that there is only one person that he has wanted a ...
A. 9 December 2005: He came out with the information in the beginning of the relationship so he was probably hoping that being honest would help to ease any fears you may have in the future about his friendship with her. Also, he wants you to meet all of them, men ... (read in full...)
My gf is very shy and when I get the chance to kiss her...I chicken out!
Q. me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 7 months! shes really shy and she is normally like that and is starting to really open up to me. i really want to kiss her but i can never get the chance or when i have the chance i chicken out. ...
A. 9 December 2005: After 7 months of dating, I think just go for it! Start out slow, give her a very soft peck on the mouth, that will let her know you are interested in kissing her and maybe she will take over and it will turn into a very passionate kiss, if not ... (read in full...)
We met on a dating site-but his profile is still active and logging on to it, regularily!
Q. I have been dating a guy i met on a dating site for 8 months now, and i thought everything was going really well. He has got to know my kids and is buying them xmas presents, we have been on holiday etc... So, i was showing a friend how the dating ...
A. 9 December 2005: Though you may not want to expose them to another man leaving their lives you certainly do not want to expose them to a man willing to lie to and possibly cheat on their mother. If you confront him with the information you are likely to get nothing ... (read in full...)
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