We met on a dating site-but his profile is still active and logging on to it, regularily!
Q. I have been dating a guy i met on a dating site for 8 months now, and i thought everything was going really well. He has got to know my kids and is buying them xmas presents, we have been on holiday etc... So, i was showing a friend how the dating ...
A. 9 December 2005: Though you may not want to expose them to another man leaving their lives you certainly do not want to expose them to a man willing to lie to and possibly cheat on their mother. If you confront him with the information you are likely to get nothing ... (read in full...)
Help The gf dumped me and she hurt me. I'm over her,now and she wants back in my life!
Q. Over a month ago, my ex-girlfriend broke my heart by flirting lots with another guy and dumping me for him. In this time, with the help of a really close friend, I have been able to get over her. I started becoming very attracted to this friend that ...
A. 5 December 2005: You are going to have to give this girl a little tough love, tell her the next time you talk to her that though you hope in the future to be friends, right now you are still feeling the pain and heartache she caused you, let her know that you are ... (read in full...)
He has a history of dumping past gf's-am I next in line?
Q. Help!! I can't tell if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life. After the most amazing six month relationship during a semester abroad, my boyfriend and I decided to try the long distance thing while I returned to the states to finish my ...
A. 5 December 2005: I advise you to be careful with this guy. I am not saying that you will not be with him forever but given his past I would make sure he wants to be with you before I moved there forever. You also need to look at how big a deal moving to a new ... (read in full...)
We've talked about marriage but he's so lazy and unmotivated.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. He's 25, just graduated from college, and I'm 22, still in college. Most of our relationship he hasn't had a job. He lives off of his savings. He just lays around and goes fishing all ...
A. 5 December 2005: You sound like you have direction in your life, you know where you want to go and unfortunately he sounds like he is just going drag you down as you try to get there. You are both young and he may at some point decide to grow up and get a job, it ... (read in full...)
I gave birth, 3 months ago...and now certain sex positions hurt real bad.
Q. I had a baby 3 months ago and now certain sexual positions that were pleasurable for me before now hurt really bad, and a lot of times sex is just uncomfortable in general (physically). has this happened to anyone else and does it get better? any ...
A. 4 December 2005: I am a mother of three, and what you are experiencing is totally normal. While not all women experience discomfort after having a baby a lot do, all you can do is take it slow. If something hurts don't do it try it again at a later date. ... (read in full...)
My coussin is coming to live with us and we've slept together!
Q. Well like 3 months ago i wen on vacations and i have this really cute cousin im 18 and his 19 so the first days we just talked then we started drinking and we would drink in his room my aunt would let us be in the room by ourself because she trust ...
A. 4 December 2005: First thing you need to realize is that this is your COUSIN! In no way is it okay to have sex with your cousin, I can understand that in a drug induced state you may have acted in a way that you normally would not, but now that you are sober you ... (read in full...)
I have just found out he has a 13 year old child!
Q. I have a boyfriend that i have dated for the past five months, recently i just found out that he has a child who is 13 years old. He has a second girlfriend that i donot now of. But recently there was a wedding at his family his sister child ws ...
A. 4 December 2005: You need to stay away from this guy, he is obviously not worth your time. I believe that even if confronted he will deny it, and if or when he does come clean he will swear you are the one for him and promise to change his ways. This guy isn't ... (read in full...)
Is there anything more to our relationship than just fantastic sex?
Q. Hi everyone, I really hope someone out there can help me with this. It's quite long, so please bear with me. x.x I’m a bit of a commitment phobic, as I’ve been hurt before and petrified of being hurt again, even though deep down I want to settle. ...
A. 20 November 2005: Well you said it has only been 2 months, so it is a bit soon to say that he is definitely "the one". I believe that any time sex is involved emotions are soon to follow for at least one of the people involved. If you want a commitment you have the ... (read in full...)
She's seeing someone now... but she gave me her email address...
Q. I'm really torn. About one year ago I was working at a phone agency when I met this really cute, funny, all-around great girl. Over the course of a few months we became friends and that's when I started wanting her as more than just a friend. I ...
A. 19 November 2005: If you know she is seeing someone then you also know telling her may put her current relationship in jeopardy. There are a couple of things that could happen, she could be delighted break it off with the guy and fall madly in love with you, she ... (read in full...)
I had a mid-life crisis and can't shake the feeling that my wife is going to want "revenge"!
Q. Two years ago I had the classic "mid life crisis". I became isolated from my wife and family, and began sabotaging my relationship. When my relationship with my wife broke down I considered the possibility of a relationship with a female friend of ...
A. 19 November 2005: Just because you had thoughts of infidelity doesn't mean she ever has or will. It sounds like you are transferring your giult of what you almost did onto her, which I'm sure you realize isn't fair. If she has forgiven you then chances are she is ... (read in full...)
I want my fiance to get his vasectomy reversed, so he can have some children with me!
Q. Me and my fiance are very happy, he is older than me and has two kids to a previous marriage, I'm still quite young and would love a family but when I bring the topic up he says to stop pestering him and that he is thinking about it. The problem is ...
A. 19 November 2005: This is an issue that you need to have worked out before the wedding. He has a family and obviously thought his baby days were over, if you need to have your own children then this relationship may be dead in the water. You need a yes or no to the ... (read in full...)
Is this just a nice way to dump someone?
Q. What the heck does this mean? It seemed as though things were going really well the best it's been, then this?!? "It was fun and I enjoyed our time together. As I said earlier I thought the idea of taking a step back was a good one. Things wer...
A. 19 November 2005: To me it does sound like that person is getting out of a relationship. Atleast it was a nice way to put it, it could have been a lot worse.... (read in full...)
Awkward situation ahead. Should I completely avoid the woman I cheated with when we're at a ball together?
Q. Six months ago when I was on a college fieldtrip and a bit low on confidence I cheated on my girlfriend (GF) of (2yrs) with a coursemate (CM). I came clean straight away and although it has been difficult we are now as strong as ever. However b...
A. 19 November 2005: NO! This is not a resonable request at all. You need to cut ALL ties to show your GF that you are serious in your commitment to her. You think you are going to feel awkward think of how your poor GF will feel as she has to stay civil and polite ... (read in full...)
I cheated and every time my boyfriend remembers it, it hurts us both...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for four years and everything was going on well until I cheated on my boyfriend. He found out and till this day my life has been really hurtfull. He told that it was going to take time for him to forget and I agreed to ...
A. 19 November 2005: You have to understand how hard this is on him. Because you are the offender in this situation, your feelings have to take the back burner. He may even need to seek rpeofessional counseling to deal with the emotions he is feeling from this. You ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on him and everyone thinks we'd be a great couple, but I'm afraid to ask him out!
Q. I have a big crush on this guy and have done for five months! I have a reputation as being a swot and so does he. Everyone says we would be perfect together. The thing is I am afraid to ask him out! What should I do??? Luv Hannah...
A. 19 November 2005: That's easy Hannah! If you like him what does it hurt to ask him out? If you stay quiet about it you never have a chance and if you ask and he says no, at least you can move on. Go for it hon, I bet you will be glad you did!... (read in full...)
Is his attraction to teenage girls normal?
Q. My boyfriend just told me he is attracted to teenage girls. He says he would never act on it, but its a pervertion of his. I dont know how to feel about this..he is 34 years old and so am I. I cannot compete with youth... Is this sick or am I being ...
A. 18 November 2005: Many of us have our secret attractions, things we would love to explore but because of our morals and state laws we refrain from ever taking part in such activities. In telling you this, he is not admitting to being any kind of deviant, he is just ... (read in full...)
We live 120 miles apart so when we get together and have sex... well, it goes too fast.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months and we live 120 miles apart. When we have sex which is once or twice a week, if that, he has this problem. He can't go very long and he says it's not my fault. He's had this problem before ...
A. 17 November 2005: Contrary to many beliefs, the intercourse part of sex is not exactly the marathon movies make it out to be. There are many factors determining how long a man can last frequency is not even the main one if he is young, men in their late teens and ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend about the messages I found on his phone?
Q. We have been seeing each other for 2 years and we live together. About 1 month ago I was going through his phone and read some messages from a girl I dont know. It said "I don't like to share, call me when you're single". I don't know what to do, o...
A. 17 November 2005: Obviously, no body benefits from the information if you keep it to yourself. The fact that you were going through his phone sends out a red flag to me, it suggests there are some trust issues already. Be prepared to defend your reasons for going ... (read in full...)
Why would my mate say such mean things?
Q. Hey people, I met my best mate 2 years ago and our personalities clicked instantly. Even though I've never thought of him as a bf I still love him to pieces as a friend, and he feels the same way about me. *Jamie and I are the kinda mates that don...
A. 17 November 2005: Communicate your feelings! If someone says something that hurts you, don't sit by and let it go! I am not saying to have an all out war over it. There is nothing wrong with saying "What is it that I have done to bother you?" or even "So that we ... (read in full...)
Was he just using me... or was he actually genuine?
Q. I have this very complicated situation. There is s guy I like. I’ve met him since going away to college. We all hang out in a group of about 10 of us, and we met thru the college's website before coming to the college. The first time we met, we ...
A. 17 November 2005: To me, this one is easy. People can be very persuasive when there is something they want involved. Here the scenario is a drunk college boy and a pretty girl. I am thinking he would have said most anything he thought you wanted to hear to get you ... (read in full...)
Had to give up the sneaking around on our partners, but my ex lover won't take No for an answer!
Q. I wonder if anyone can help me? I have just broken up with a man I was having an affair with. He has a partner and I'm a married woman. We did fall in love but I felt that we couldn't keep seeing each other because it wasn't fair on our partners and ...
A. 17 November 2005: Because you were both cheating, I am left to assume that the affair was filling voids left from your current partners. With that in mind I can only guess that your affair was a source of gratification much like a drug for you both. He may find it ... (read in full...)
Each of us thinks we want different futures. How can we fix things?
Q. Hi everyone, I am so scared to lose my bf of a year and a half now. We have been friends for 4 years, and he is so wonderful and unique. I am 23 and he is 28, we are just starting to realize that we want different things with our future "togethe...
A. 17 November 2005: At this stage in the game it may still be too early to really even decide if you ever want marriage or children. He may simply be stating something he has always said and it may change over time, or he may be really in tune with himself and his ... (read in full...)
I don't trust him because of what I know about his history...
Q. I met my boyfriend through an ex boyfriend, that's bad I know, but my former boyfriend was terrible. I knew a little about my current boyfriend, he's a bad boy and all that. While I was going out with my ex, my current bf had sex with an ugly gir...
A. 16 November 2005: Women to tend to be drawn to the "bad boys". I would say that if you are having trouble rusting him in the beginning of the relationship, it will probably always be that way. You can't "fix" someone, and no matter how much you want to take charge ... (read in full...)
I've realised I don't want to marry my fiance. What do I say to him?
Q. How can I break up with my fiance? We're both 50, he's somewhat old-fashioned, conservative, and intolerant. My 3 teens annoy him (as most teens do) and they aren't that crazy about him. He's quite controlling, negative, and thinks highly of ...
A. 16 November 2005: I am not sure if you have spoken to him at all about this, but you may find that if you open up to him he may be willing to change his tune a bit if he knows his attitude is ruining your chance at happiness together. It would not be unresonable for ... (read in full...)
He thinks the spark between us has cooled, but I know we're perfect!
Q. I've been with my guy for 2 years now, and the relationship has just turned long distance, he says he loves me and he still finds me attractive. We have absolutely no problem in the physical department as the spark is still totally there. It's just ...
A. 16 November 2005: Unfortunately, when a relationship becomes long distance so can the closeness fealt by those involved. For him, the pressure of staying committed to someone he can't have all the time may be a big problem. If I were you, I would accept that a ... (read in full...)
I fantasise about women when I'm in bed with my fiance!
Q. When I am in bed with my BF, I fantaise that it is a women doing the things to me, that he is. Not any specific women. It is the only thing that gets me off. Am I gay? I love sex with him and it is only during foreplay that I do this. I do not thin...
A. 16 November 2005: It is only natural to fantasize, especially in a committed relationship. Many people that do it also fantasize about things many consider taboo. For a straight woman that could be making out or making love to another woman. It is the mystery of ... (read in full...)
I wasn't ready when I met him, then he turned around and married someone who doesn't make him happy!
Q. I'm in love with an unhappily married man. I had my chance with him not once but twice. But I had just gotten out of a bad marriage and I was not ready for the kind of relationship that he wanted. He was ready to settle down and have children and he ...
A. 16 November 2005: You need to leave this one alone! You said that when you had your chances with him you were not ready and now that you are, you honestly think it would be fair to come in and ruin his marriage. Whether or not he is happy, is not for you to decide. ... (read in full...)
Why can't I have the orgasms that my girlfriends all talk about?
Q. Hiya, I have a problem. I am 30 years old and honestly I have never climaxed in my life. I have had boyfriends and have been sexually active for a while - I have faked it when my boyfriend has a good one. I have felt it coming and literall...
A. 12 November 2005: Wouldn't that be perfect to be able to say that you are most definitely going to orgasm on your wedding night, unfortunately it may not work out that way. For some people it is very hard to reach climax, others very easy. The easiest way to find ... (read in full...)
I'm a girl with a crush on a girl... Am I a lesbian?
Q. I have a huge crush on this girl. I am by the way a female. I am only 15 yrs old. She even asked me out. I went to her house for a sleepover and we kissed. Does this mean I'm a lesbian?...
A. 12 November 2005: I say, it is more likely that you are experimenting with your sexuality. While you have feelings for a girl this week you may have feelings for a boy next. There is nothing at all wrong with being a lesbian, no matter what anyone says, but because ... (read in full...)
If I tell my fiancee I love her, will that help clarify her feelings about us?
Q. After nearly 3 years my fiancee turned around to me and said she didnt know what she wanted any more so we split. I know that she loves me and wants to be with me but I feel that other influences in her life are stopping her from realising this. ...
A. 11 November 2005: I honestly hope that after a three year relationship and engagement this would not be the first time you told your lady that you love her. That said, she probably already knows that you do. It seems that we are all so willing to let the ones we ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to break up, but suddenly he doesn't love me, either...
Q. When I step outside myself, the answers to my confusions seem so simple but my heart wants to complicate it. I've been dating this guy, let's call him Jordan, for almost 8mths now. He's 36, I'm 27. I've known him a year and a half. I met him thro...
A. 11 November 2005: This is a perfect example of a rebound relationship. He may not want to admit it and you may think that things went slowly enough that it's not true but you need to trust me on this one. In the beginning he was all over you, it was great but this ... (read in full...)
The timing was terrible. Her crush on me ended before I got interested in her!
Q. I recently found out my best friend had a crush on me about 3 months ago. Now I have a crush on her but from everything I can tell I think it's too late. What should I do?...
A. 11 November 2005: Talk to her. One of the biggest problems in these situations is the lack of communication. Had she told you of the crush in the first place, you would have been able to examine your feelings for her and possibly started a relationship. Now it is ... (read in full...)
Things moved too fast, then he became depressed. Now he doesn't want my help and our relationship is suffering!
Q. I'm 38 he's 35. He's been divorced for 6 years. He married his high school sweetheart, they were together for 12 years married for 5. She left him and is set to marry the man she cheated on him with. He's had one other long term relationship that ...
A. 11 November 2005: You need to give him time and space. You can not force him to accept you help and if you try to force it on him you may lose him forever. He has already sought the help of a therapist so that shows that he is aware of his problems and does want to ... (read in full...)
Does my fiance really love me, or is it just my financial support?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with my fiance since 7.4.2000 and in this time he has been unfaithful once, but I have still allowed him in my life. I do love him, but I feel tired of supporting someone other than my 3 children (2 mine, 1 ours), whom is ...
A. 11 November 2005: First of all, men of all ages masturbate. The ones that say they don't are probably doing it twice as much as the ones that admit to it. If he is able to get and job and isn't because he is lazy then I would say get rid of him unless you like ... (read in full...)
Does he love me or is he scared he was going to get hurt, or is he a jerk?
Q. With this guy I cheated on my boyfriend for, we got together, For a year three of those months were actual non cheating. Intro to the fam, said they loved me. then he says he doesn't trust me because I've lied about still speaking to my ex. I ju...
A. 10 November 2005: Run, get away from that situation as fast as you can. There is no reason for you to be treated that way. It is up to you if you carry on a relationship with your ex but it sounds as though the new guy is willing to take what he can get from you ... (read in full...)
How can I learn to worry less about the past, so I can move on in my life?
Q. I am seperated from my wife. It has been a year and we have a little boy of 2yrs and 8 months. I have these overwhelming feelings of guilt for leaving both my wife and my little boy. I phone my little lad every day and I see him every 2 weekends ...
A. 10 November 2005: Honestly, you should feel guilty. You abandoned two people that depended on you, with out even a warning. There is no sure fire way to make you feel better and I don't know of too many people that would try. If you want to feel better you have to ... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about the girl in school, even though she's dating someone else...
Q. Dear cupid, I have a problem in school, well, a love problem. I love this girl to bits in school but she is going out with someone. He is a really horrible and I hate him. But what the problem is, is that I can't stop looking and thinking...
A. 10 November 2005: Does she know how you feel? Does she have feelings for you? You need to ask yourself those two questions, before you go failing all of your classes because of your misplaced attention. You don't want to get too involved with the fantasy of her ... (read in full...)
We're from two different States. Should I up sticks, or should he?
Q. My boyfriend and I are talking about getting married, but he lives in Shreveport, LA and I am from Alabama. He wants to move back to Texas where he was born, and I don't want to pull my roots from the 'bama soil. He says he's willing to compromise ...
A. 10 November 2005: It sounds like you already know what would be fair. If you want to have a chance at happiness in a marriage you both need to compromise, not just him. He has made it clear that he is willing to relocate, but you know that probably wouldn't be in ... (read in full...)
My husband claims his definition of cheating is different to mine, so it's not cheating...
Q. Cheated on and dont know what to do? My husband was recently discovered to be having a secret companion that kept him so involved in her day to day activities with her and her husband that he forgot my birthday. The children were the ones to disc...
A. 9 November 2005: Well, from one internet cheater to the victim of internet cheating I can say this is going to be difficult for you. I was recently involved in a relationship with a man online, my husband caught me and is now, like you, trying to regain his trust ... (read in full...)
I keep getting knockbacks from girls and it's affecting my self-confidence!
Q. Help! I've been turned down. Again. Again as in about 20 times... i feel really unwanted and depressed. I also feel ugly because nobody seems to say yes and It makes me lower my confidence... I felt really confident today when I asked this girl out ...
A. 9 November 2005: How many girls are you asking out? Take your time, life isn't a big dating game you know. Maybe you are using the wrong approach, girls don't really respond to cheesey pick up lines and bad jokes. We are a lot more likely to go out with someone ... (read in full...)
I had sex with a guy I don't even love. Then his girlfriend blackmailed me to my boyfriend...
Q. I dont know what to do. Me and my boyfriend were only dating for about 3 months but we were so in love. It was like love at first sight when we first met. Then he told me he wouldn't be able to come here anymore until winter was over (he lives in ...
A. 9 November 2005: First off, if you really loved him you should have confessed to the affair immediately. This would have given the other woman no way of blackmailing you and let you keep some kind of dignity in the situation. Your best chance at reconsiling the ... (read in full...)
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