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... Send *issmel34 a private message | | | *issmel34's profile:Hello,
I'm a 34 year old woman from Australia.
I have been married once before.
There were 3 things I had in common with my first husband when I married him. We were young, we were poor and we were stupid.
Well 3 kids later and a divorce, I don't think I'm any of those things anymore. I've learnt alot about myself in the last few years.
I met an amazing man, who I am about to marry.
Relationships though, no matter how wonderful are hard work. We all have ups and downs. Hopefully, linking in with this site I can offer some of my thoughts and feelings, but also have people share their opinions with me.
Mel
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My husband walked out on me and my children, he is uncontactable, I still love him but should I still wait for him?
Q. my husband has walked out on me after 5 years of marriage. He hasnt told me where he has gone and hasnt been in touch at all.Before he went he blamed me for everything, that wasnt right in our relationship.I didnt know there was anything wrong,he ...
A. 6 December 2007: Can I just say that running out and finding another man is not the answer. The last thing your kids need is to experience one father figure going out the back door as another comes through the front.
Spend time to heal your family.
Mel
... (read in full...)
She says she's seeing a colleague, and we can carry on as friends. That means bringing her home late 3-4 times a week. Adequate in given circumstances?
Q. I`ve been seeing this girl for awhile,we are really good freinds,she relies on me alot,I feel like her emotional boyfriend. We go out maybe 3-4 times a week but I`ve always liked her more than just a friend and she has always known this, I made it ...
A. 6 December 2007: Theres a saying..."shes just not into you"
Unfortunately, doesn't matter who your are, sometimes you will feel the pain of unrequited love. The best and most effective way to cure this is to go and meet other people. Make yourself availabl... (read in full...)
I'm having an affair, but neither of us will leave our partners, now he's flirting with other girls in the office, what should I do?
Q. I have been married for almost 13 yers now and a year and a half ago I fell for this man who happens to be my boss- we have had sex a couple of times and he says he loves me. But he is also married and I don't know what his intentions are. Howver, ...
A. 6 December 2007: My comment on women motivated to have affairs more on the romance side of things than the act of sex itself,is based on the fact that sex has a different meaning to a man than a woman. Alot of research has been done on this fact.
Women place mo... (read in full...)
Gave up everything for boyfriend and now he doesn't want to be in a relationship.
Q. I, ve been with my partner 2 years, I gave up everything to move away with him. He is a lorry driver and works long hours he said he still loves me but not enough to be in the relationship right now. He said he doesnt want to be in a relationship ...
A. 6 December 2007: I agree with Richard.
If a guy says no, then don't throw yourself at him. Hold your head high and move on.
It hurts like hell, but in the long run its best.
The time you spend putting your life on hold for this guy, you are wasting being op... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my boyfriend, but I'm going to end it as I love him to much, should I tell this friend that I also love him even though we are going to stop seeing each other/
Q. I have been cheating on my boyfriend for four months with my male friend, who is also attached. I have been thinking of ending my relationship with my friend, even though my feelings for him are extremely strong, because ultimately I don't want ...
A. 6 December 2007: I think because the male "friend" has made it clear that he's not going to leave his gf. Well if I were you I'd probably make a clean slate of it all. Richards right, your probably more suited to the "friend" than your bf.
The fact is, that if ... (read in full...)
Do I have a problem with sex?
Q. My Penis is too small. I have had only 1 partner and when see saw my penis she said "is That It" a week later she left me because my penis is to small. I worried that i cant please a women.....
A. 6 December 2007: Go Kenny, exactly what I was going to say.
Look, they come in all different shapes and sizes...just like breasts do. One of the most demoralising things though are porn movies, because I think men feel thats what a girl wants. I can tell you...gi... (read in full...)
He looks at local woman on match.com, can I trust him?
Q. I need advice. My boyfriend of 2 years has recently been caught checking out match.com. When I found out I asked him about it and told him how it made me feel. His response at first was to deny it and then admited that he did but only to see if he ...
A. 6 December 2007: For all you know hes already cheated.
If looks like a duck, if it sounds like a duck...its probably a duck.
You have 3 choices as I see it.
1) Ignore it. And bury your self respect along with your fears.
2) Dump him, move onto a man who wil... (read in full...)
My fiancee cheated on me, he said I'm rubbish in bed, we have a baby together but should I leave him?
Q. my fiancee cheated on me with my sister in law at a family party in september, i only just found out by accident when i saw a text she sent him at the time. i took him back because we have 2 year old daughter, but i cant stand him touching me and ...
A. 6 December 2007: What TasteofInia and Collaroy just said...I totally agree with.
I have 3 daughters. I asked by husband to leave, he was a cheater. The final thing that made me end it was one simple question.
Would you like your daughter living your life? Would... (read in full...)
Could a lady feel pain or bleed if she has already broken her hymen?
Q. hello i want to ask 2 questions 1. will a lady have pain and bleedindg if she already broke her hymen? 2. is she considerd a virgin if she has no pain and bleedin during her first sex? will her hubby consider her a virgin? thanks....
A. 6 December 2007: The hymen is a tricky thing. Women can have broken it long before they have ever had sex for the first time. Inserting a tampon can damage it, even trauma to the area such as a fall or even horseriding.
Sex for the first time, by nature can be p... (read in full...)
My husband walked out on me and my children, he is uncontactable, I still love him but should I still wait for him?
Q. my husband has walked out on me after 5 years of marriage. He hasnt told me where he has gone and hasnt been in touch at all.Before he went he blamed me for everything, that wasnt right in our relationship.I didnt know there was anything wrong,he ...
A. 6 December 2007: You didn't say how long he has been gone for. If hes been gone for a few days, hes probably just having a mini melt down.
However if hes been gone for more than a few weeks, you're going to have to pull yourself together. And I know, this is the h... (read in full...)
I'm having an affair, but neither of us will leave our partners, now he's flirting with other girls in the office, what should I do?
Q. I have been married for almost 13 yers now and a year and a half ago I fell for this man who happens to be my boss- we have had sex a couple of times and he says he loves me. But he is also married and I don't know what his intentions are. Howver, ...
A. 5 December 2007: When we are married for a long time, sometimes we can get bored. Doesn't matter who you are. Our minds start to wander....we fantasise about other people while we're making love to our spouses.
Sometimes we feel that we are being neglecte... (read in full...)
Why do men look at she male porn?
Q. Why do men look at she male porn? Does it mean they are bi?...
A. 5 December 2007: Because some people like looking at things that are freaky.
Just because hes looking at it, doesn't mean he's turned on by it. Curiosity is a funny thing at times.
I wouldn't get to concerned, I was with a guy that had a foot fetish once. He ... (read in full...)
I used an electric shaver to masturbate. Recommendations for the soreness?
Q. i used an electric shaver to maturbate and now im really sore and its quite uncomfortbale and itchy. this isn't serious is it? wb asap.x [Added] i took the razors off an electrick shaver so it was just the plastic bit and i masterbated with it. i...
A. 5 December 2007:
The thing is, women can pick up infections very easily from using devices down there that aren't clean. Even hands can leave bacteria.
My advice is if its still causing greif in the next 2 days, go to the doctor, you probably just have an infe... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he doesn't enjoy sex... could this cause problems when we're married?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for three years, and we've started having sex just this year. I was his first, and he's mine. We intend on getting married in 2-3 years... however, he recently told me that he does not enjoy sex. he says he gets phy...
A. 5 December 2007: I agree with Kenny here.
Sex more than just a physical act. Sometimes we can get into the drudgery of the motions without creating the eroticism that goes with it.
Sex is 90% imagination and 10% perspiration.
I think what you have to d... (read in full...)
Hubbies away on business, he wants us to have cyber sex, but I don't know what to do!, help me!
Q. hello, my husband has gone away on business for a couple of weeks and the only way we can talk is through msn. he keeps on going on about having cyber sex i`ve herd of it before but i don't no what to do, i need some help can someone tell me what to ...
A. 5 December 2007: Cyber sex is using your imagination to create a sexual experience. It can be the greatest turn on. Think of it as pure foreplay!
There are 2 basic cyber sex scenarios.
1) The descriptive variety, masturbation, whereby you describe what yo... (read in full...)
My wife says she has never masturbated, surely this cant be true or can it?
Q. i have asked my wife to masturbate when we are making love but she told me that she has never masturbated before and that it is not her thing i dont think she is telling me the truth do the question is do all women masturbate and lie about it...
A. 5 December 2007: Sad but true. Theres a lot of women who are really hung up about their bodies. Buy her a vibrator, use it on her and get her to help you hold it. Its a slow process. But the more she is able to understand her body, her orgasm...the better the sex.
... (read in full...)
I lost my virginity , it was horrible he treated me bad, now I want to wait till I get married, but the guy will probably be a virgin too, will this be a problem?
Q. I'm 18 years old and I've had sex with one person before, this was my ex bf of 7 months. I felt I was in love with him, yet it turns out the guy who I was 'in love with' didnt exist- it was all an act he put on. Less then a week after we had sex, ...
A. 4 December 2007: Hmmmmm, well. I guess the short answer is yes. Basically if a guy loves you enough he will wait for you. Its one way to sort out whether a guy is really into you or just using you.
When it comes to true love, your partner should except you for who ... (read in full...)
My hormones are killing me and I want to know if it’s all right for me to date even though I’m still married officially, or is it considered cheating?
Q. I have been separated from my wife for over a year and looking forward to get divorced soon. My question is this: My hormones are killing me and I want to know if it’s all right for me to date even though I’m still married officially, or is it ...
A. 4 December 2007: I've seen this issue alot in here, the whole I'm not divorced yet can I start dating thing.
When I separated from my husband I deemed we'd broken up. I spent time recovering, but basically I was dating a fair bit before the divorce was offi... (read in full...)
This has gone on long enough...
Q. I am having a complete dilema relationship wise. Roughly 2 years ago I met a guy and we had good chemistry. We spent time together, however it was when it suited him [around once a month or so]. In between meetings we would email each other, the ...
A. 4 December 2007: Ahhhh, I've been there. You have just discovered what sum commonly term that "casually commited relationship". They are prolific here on the internet.
Basically guys(although I have heard of the occasional woman, but its mainly a guy thing), ... (read in full...)
I'm single and she's seperated.
Q. Several weeks ago a co-worker and I started a friendly relationship. I am single and she is seperated. We've had drinks twice and the last time we had sex. She says she feels guilty because she isn't divorced yet but we've both agreed to see one ...
A. 4 December 2007: I met my fiance when I was separated from my now ex husband.
I guess it comes down to a few things.
How much contact is she currently having with him. If she is still working through issues, and if they are both doing the whole you didn't/d... (read in full...)
I found out he cheated, he then chose her over me, but I still want him back, how can I do this?
Q. I have been with my mate for 13 years, in October I found out he was cheating on me. (he was not the one told me) I confronted him and made him choose. He chose her! Since then,we talk maybe once a week, and he says he is sorry and that he did not ...
A. 4 December 2007: Now, I'm going to cut to the chase with this one. See, I've been with a man who cheated on me. I think what is happening with you is a very natural reaction. This man has rejected you. He chose the other woman over you. So effectively in y... (read in full...)
Is my husband hiding an affair??
Q. My husband is hiding something. We have been married for 16 months and I have had a horrible gut feeling for almost year. He is the kindest, loveliest man you can ever imagine meeting but some things just dont add up and his mood is tempramental. A...
A. 4 December 2007: Yes, I was going to suggest that. I would definitely have him followed. You will need proof to take this further. You can't just ignore it when everything you have pointed out is so obvious.
You need to collect evidence. This is war. You are marr... (read in full...)
Can a guy tell when a girl orgasms?
Q. My question is quite simple really: can a guy tell when a girl orgasms? Clearly male ejeculation makes it obvious but I was wondering about when females cum? Please reply x...
A. 3 December 2007: When a woman has a cliteral orgasm her cliteris and vagina swells, lubricates and sometimes pulsates.
Vaginal orgasms are more difficult to predict as every woman is different and generally the swellng occurs deep within the vagina. A Woman can ... (read in full...)
He was desperate to marry me, now he wants to WAIT to get engaged. What's going on with him?
Q. My boyfriend has been telling me from two months into our relationship that he loves me more than life and wants to marry me. We lost our virginity to each other 6 months ago and now we're approaching a year. I want him to propose to me for ...
A. 3 December 2007: I married when I was 22 to my first BF.
I had my first child at 23.
I think I was trying to create the family I never had as a child.
Now, when I turned 28, I had these secret thoughts. Wondering, what would it be like to be with another man?... (read in full...)
Unlovable???
Q. I don't think I will ever have a boyfriend or anyone who will even "like" me. I don't know why... I'm not really pretty, but I think I've got good "brains" and am an intresting person but every time I fall for some guy they'll NEVER feel the same...
A. 3 December 2007: I never said you were these things. I'm talking about how you feel about yourself inside. I don't go to the hairdresser because my hair is greasy, and I don't go to the gym because I'm fat. I go because it makes me feel good about myself.
I can only... (read in full...)
How can I confirm to his wife he is having an affair with me without anybody knowing it came from me?
Q. I am having an affair with a married man who doesn't love his wife any more but loves his children. He thinks he needs to stay in the marraiage just 4 the kids. His wife thinks he is having an affair and asks if he his having an affair but he won't...
A. 3 December 2007: "JUST BECAUSE HE MARRIED HER 10...20...30 YEARS AGO DOSEN'T MAKE HER THE RIGHT ONE FOR HIM."
You know, I was under the impression that marriage WAS forever or at least supposed to be. It doesn't mean that she may be the right one. Who is to ju... (read in full...)
Can a dildo break your hymen??
Q. Is it possible to lose your hymen with a dildo? If so, how can you tell if you've lost it? This weekend was my first time using a dildo, and I bled. I'm not sure if I a) lost my hymen b) caused my cervix to bleed c) caused some other area in there ...
A. 3 December 2007: Ummm...the short answer is Yes. If you put an object into your vagina then yes, the hymen would be broken. However I think the question is whether you are still a virgin. And the short answer is Yes. You have not had sex with anyone, plac... (read in full...)
She slept with her ex, do I forgive?
Q. Am i being naive to think that this could work or should i just move on. Sorry this is so long but there is alot to be said. I have worked with this girl for 3 years (and known her just as long). I have always liked her, but i never did anythi...
A. 3 December 2007: Hmmm, well this is the way I see it. Shes a bit messed up, well no, shes alot messed up. I think she has huge self esteem issues and needs to have men chasing her to make her feel better. I mean lets face it, she has you in the shadows and this... (read in full...)
Unlovable???
Q. I don't think I will ever have a boyfriend or anyone who will even "like" me. I don't know why... I'm not really pretty, but I think I've got good "brains" and am an intresting person but every time I fall for some guy they'll NEVER feel the same...
A. 3 December 2007: Sweetheart, Listen I know how you feel exactly. I was in my 30's before dating really started to make sense to me. When I was your age I was exactly where you are now. all my friends had bf's.....me nada. I was everyones friend, but noone really... (read in full...)
How can I confirm to his wife he is having an affair with me without anybody knowing it came from me?
Q. I am having an affair with a married man who doesn't love his wife any more but loves his children. He thinks he needs to stay in the marraiage just 4 the kids. His wife thinks he is having an affair and asks if he his having an affair but he won't...
A. 3 December 2007: My first husband cheated on me. I knew it from the moment it happened. I was able to visualise what was going on. When you share that level of love with someone you know in your soul when there is betrayal. Who says she doesn't know whats going on... (read in full...)
Unlovable???
Q. I don't think I will ever have a boyfriend or anyone who will even "like" me. I don't know why... I'm not really pretty, but I think I've got good "brains" and am an intresting person but every time I fall for some guy they'll NEVER feel the same...
A. 3 December 2007: Now I could give you a politically correct answer saying that when the time is right the man of your dreams will appear, and love you for who you are. But from my experience dating is not that simple. Prince Charming doesn't just appear oneday and ... (read in full...)
Do I have a right to be concerned here?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He's bisexual and I have never had a problem with it. He's never cheated on me with a guy, although in the past he cheated on me twice with the same girl. Anyways, the other night while we were ...
A. 2 December 2007: Ummm......sleepover, its not 3rd grade. I think definitely no! Adults don't have sleepovers??? Do they?? .....its a kid thing isn't it? Only time I've had a sleepover as an adult is visiting an interstate friend or if I'm having sex that ... (read in full...)
We have a child and live together, and he wants to experience extra-relationship sex before we setlle down - only with my approval. Is this OK?
Q. I have been with my love for almost 5 years. we have a child and live together. As all relationships experience we have our ups and downsbut always manage to realize what we have. We are both really young. He has just told me he wants to sleep with ...
A. 30 November 2007: I married very young and one of the reasons it ended was because I was curious about life outside my partner, I had only ever been with him. Basically everyone has desires to explore their sexuality outside their relationships, its a natural part of ... (read in full...)
I cant help screaming when my man and I have sex, but it wakes the old lady next door, I cant help it though, is this normal?
Q. I like to scream when I come. My boyfriend asks me not to make too much noise because there is an elderly lady living next door. Not long his neighbour complains about it. I feel embarassing and bad to wake her because we always make love after ...
A. 30 November 2007: Hey there,
Yes I'm a screamer too. I've tried burying my face into his chest, or if I'm face down, a pillow. Sometimes it works. Also told people I live with/neighbours I suffer from terrible leg cramps at night..... Of course they probably don'... (read in full...)
Help me about natural life source???!!!
Q. Hey I am in need of a bit of help I am staying on till 6th year but I am in 5th year, all my friends have had sexual intercourse and done lots of other things with boys and their bits and bobs. I am scared of mostly the disgustingness of a g...
A. 30 November 2007: Hey there,
I was 19 when I lost my virginity. At 16 I was the same as you, very nervous about sex. But, you know, now I look back at it, it was really a confidence thing. Some girls mature more quickly, and are more confident in their own skin. Its ... (read in full...)
He won't return oral sex, but he shows affection in all other ways. Starting to get fustrated and perceiving him as selfish though...
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 yrs. the 1st couple of months we were together he had gone down on me, although it only lasted a few times. i had never encouraged him to as i beleive it wasnt of real importance. although lately i feel ...
A. 30 November 2007: Oh wow, I just posted a question almost identical to this. I am having the same issue in my relationship. We also have been together for 2 years. In the past I have had quite exotic lovers, but they tended to cheat. Now I find someone who I know ... (read in full...)
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