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He won't return oral sex, but he shows affection in all other ways. Starting to get fustrated and perceiving him as selfish though...

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Question - (15 September 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 yrs. the 1st couple of months we were together he had gone down on me, although it only lasted a few times. i had never encouraged him to as i beleive it wasnt of real importance. although lately i feel that the sex weve been having is getting very mechanical, and that its not intimate or exciting anymore. ive asked him why he doesnt go down on me anymore like he used to, and his reply was that he doesnt like to. it doesnt seem fair, as i always give him oral sex.

as i can see that he feels uncomfortable talking bout the topic,i havent bothered to ask him again. he had also promised me there was nothing wrong with me. apart from the bad sex, we have a very good relationship. he shows his affections in all other ways.

i know i shouldnt keep pursueing him in doing somthing he doesnt like, although because he hasnt given me a straight answer, im starting to get fustrated and perceiving him as selfish. :(

thanx guys 4 ur input :)

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A female reader, missmel34 Australia +, writes (30 November 2007):

missmel34 agony auntOh wow, I just posted a question almost identical to this. I am having the same issue in my relationship. We also have been together for 2 years. In the past I have had quite exotic lovers, but they tended to cheat. Now I find someone who I know would never cheat but is not the most exotic lover. Guess it goes to figure, sometimes you can't have it all. M

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A male reader, daglish Uganda +, writes (16 September 2007):

daglish agony auntTruth is oral sex is tight and it takes some amount of confidence for one to give it anyway. First thanx for being such a nice lover. But dont forget to understand ur lovers problem as well. I nfact if u can find a way of putting your fears to his knowledge without hurting him, then better do coz love should be shared equally if its going to last.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007):

If I was you I would stop giving him oral sex, I would feel the same way as you. Tell him how you feel and stop giving it to him till he plays fair!

Have you ever thought he MIGHT be gay??

GD luck!

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A female reader, brooke5426 United Kingdom +, writes (15 September 2007):

brooke5426 agony auntwell first of all - sorry if this is disgusting and please dont be insulted lol - make sure you're clean down there and there is no possibility of him being put off by any nasty smell. yuck. sorry but it had to be said ;-)

i think he probably just doesnt like doing it - maybe he's not confident doing it and not sure if he is good at it? you should try encouraging him by telling him the few times he did do it you loved it and he was so good at it and the best you've ever had etc etc. that will boost his ego and probably make him a lot more interested in it.

try not to resent giving him oral if he genuinely doesnt like returning it. if it was because he just couldnt be bothered going down on you i would probably say stop going down on him but he cant help it if he doesnt like it so you shouldnt hold it against him cos you cant force him to do something he doesnt like.

try the ego boost thing i mentioned though. men love to feel like the little sex gods we all know most of them aren't ;-) so i really think that is the way forward for you. good luck.

brooke

xx

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