Like what
she writes?
... Add *issmel34 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *issmel34 a private message | | | *issmel34's profile:Hello,
I'm a 34 year old woman from Australia.
I have been married once before.
There were 3 things I had in common with my first husband when I married him. We were young, we were poor and we were stupid.
Well 3 kids later and a divorce, I don't think I'm any of those things anymore. I've learnt alot about myself in the last few years.
I met an amazing man, who I am about to marry.
Relationships though, no matter how wonderful are hard work. We all have ups and downs. Hopefully, linking in with this site I can offer some of my thoughts and feelings, but also have people share their opinions with me.
Mel
|
|
My ex has walked out of a long distance relationship with me after 2 years, supposedly because of distance, and now she's walked into another one!! Help me..
Q. Hello. it's Andy, and I'm not happy.. Tonight I finally checked my ex's profile on her facebook, after not doing so for some time. Turns out. she's going out with a guy who she used to go to college with. I'm a little taken back by this. What's ...
A. 13 December 2007: When you are hurt, its time that is the only solution Andy. I remember breaking up with a guy a few years ago and driving to work day after day with Avril Lavignes songs blasting...crying my heart out. We've all been there.
Good Luck mate. Fa... (read in full...)
My Ex split with me after 4 years. I need to vent!
Q. My ex split with me 4 weeks ago after 4 years together. The sex has been phenomenal and mutual and we have always got on very well. We didnt live together but saw each other every weekend because we had jobs in different areas. She got a new job 2 ...
A. 13 December 2007: I get the impression that shes younger than you...am I right?
She sounds like a woman in her late 20's trying to work out what she really wants. You on the other hand are probably that little bit older than her and ready to make a full commitme... (read in full...)
Should I tell this guy's wife, that my ex gf is cheating with her husband?
Q. I've known for a while now that my ex is seeing a guy who's married with kids and I didn't really think anything of it. Now my brother has made me feel like I have some sort of responsibility to tell his wife what he's up to with my ex. My ex ...
A. 13 December 2007: No...its none of your business, stay out of it.
More importantly, she is your ex, its none of your business what she does, she is no longer your responsiblity. Instead of wasting your energy thinking, talking, contemplating your ex's actions.... (read in full...)
Two women, one big choice!
Q. Hi there, It's the old story: two women, who to choose? Just want some perspective. I met a girl Rachel (28) in June this year online. She is a pretty girl. We talked on MSN for a month or so and on the phone. She said that she wasn't ready fo...
A. 13 December 2007: Ok, you are internet dating. I've done it myself I met my fiance online, so I know the deal.
The thing is, when you date online, you have not a couple of women to choose from...you have thousands and thousands.
Rachel is flighty and you ... (read in full...)
My ex has walked out of a long distance relationship with me after 2 years, supposedly because of distance, and now she's walked into another one!! Help me..
Q. Hello. it's Andy, and I'm not happy.. Tonight I finally checked my ex's profile on her facebook, after not doing so for some time. Turns out. she's going out with a guy who she used to go to college with. I'm a little taken back by this. What's ...
A. 13 December 2007: Ok ......I'm not going to tel you to calm down.
However I am going to be completely honest with you.
You need to move on mate. You 2 have broken up. Shes moved on, now its time for you to do the same.
The thing is, when a girl breaks up wi... (read in full...)
I don't think he trusts me anymore after he broke off our LDR.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over a year and as things may seem great to others. I'm not happy. We only chat on a chat site cos he lives about 2000 km away but he comes to visit me every holiday. He is really sweet but when we apart...
A. 12 December 2007: Theres a reason your on this on and off again merry go round.
Relationships rarely just break up, they go through these practice goes first. Its perfectly normal, Everytime you break up it gets easier and easier until oneday...thats it.
The ... (read in full...)
I do see a future with this girl but feel like having a gf is holding me back.
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 3.5 years now. We began dating in my Sr year of high school; she is a year younger than me. We now attend different colleges that are about 6 hours apart driving so we do not get to see each other too often. ...
A. 12 December 2007: First love is hard.
I agree with the motherly advice of baby duck.
As harsh as it sounds.
Its only as you get older do you realise your youth is about exploration and discovery. You have a lifetime of sacrafice ahead of you. When you are mar... (read in full...)
Why does knowing about her 16 previous partners bother me so much?
Q. OK I'm going through something really silly. It's bothering the hell outta me. My current gf who's 30 years old told me that she had 16 previous partners before me. I've had 7 before her. But it's bothering me a lot! The strange thing is that ...
A. 12 December 2007: I'm sure I saw a Seinfeld episode about this.
I guess we can all tell you to get over it. And you yourself already admitted its a bit silly.
I just want to add something though.
I married my first love, he was the only man I had ever been... (read in full...)
Sexual texts and secret meetings but he said they did nothing.
Q. Hi, I'm glad i found this site as ive got no one else to talk to. About a month ago my fiance of nearly 4 years an who i have 2 kids with got a new job and started sneaking around and was guarding his phone. It went on for weeks so i looked at h...
A. 12 December 2007: This reminds of me of when I caught my ex going to a brothel. He said, "I didn't do anything, I was just going inside with mates". The, "sure I smoked pot, but I didn't inhale", excuse!
Look, only you can call this one. Its a very hard thing to... (read in full...)
I really want a baby. How to speed it up.
Q. i realy want a baby but i seems like its guna take ages for me to get preganat . is there any way u can hurry up gettin preganat ??...
A. 12 December 2007: Oh my god.
I don't think anything anyone says here will really get you to see how silly you are being not to mention selfish and immature.
You can't even spell it.....look, go and get a life of your own before you create another one. Sta... (read in full...)
3 boyfriends in 4 months. I don't know if I love my boyfriends, or just having them. Please advise!
Q. I don't know whats going on in my head. Ive had 3 boyfriends in 4 months. and i dont know if i love my boyfriends or if i love the idea of having a boyfriend. not to mention people at school have been calling me a tramp because i jump from guy to g...
A. 12 December 2007: Your 13 to 15 age group. When I was that age I had no idea what love really was. It was more like crushes and infatuation.
Look, probably not a good idea to jump from one guy to the next at school, it will end up causing a bit of grief. But havi... (read in full...)
She rejected one of my invitations so I went out with another girl. Now I have the chance to see the initial girl again, but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Q. K, so I f***ed up and need some advice on this one. 3 weeks ago I met a girl, and we hooked up that night, had great chemistry right away. I liked her pretty much right away, and we've been talking since. Well, the weekend after that I asked h...
A. 12 December 2007: Lol Angel.
I agree.....make your mind up. But don't hurt the other girl.
... (read in full...)
What should I get him for Christmas?
Q. Hi people, as you know its coming up to christmas and i dont have a clue what to get my boyfriend! its so easy for guys but what am i supposed to get him. i was thinking about a dvd but he dosnt have any cause he gets them of the internet and burn...
A. 12 December 2007: cmon jamer, girls are sooo easy. Jewellery and anything pretty. And god knows we drag you around enough throughout the year to show you what we like....lol.
Every man I've ever been with has always been..."yeah whatever" at xmas.... (read in full...)
She says she's going to leave her husband for me, but I'm not sure, neither me or her husband deserve this, should I say enough is enough?
Q. i am having an affair with a married girl , i have tried to end it cause i love her but she cannot be with me . but she came right bk the next day saying she had made a mistake to let me go , and i am the only one she wants so i took her bk , and ...
A. 12 December 2007: Shes playing you. If she was serious about you, wanting to be with you not her husband she would have done it already.
How can you have any self respect knowing that she is in bed with this man each nite. How do you know they are not making l... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has no ambition and no drive to succeed.
Q. Hi, I need some help with a boyfriend and life crisis. I love my boyfriend more than anything. He's my first love and I'm his. We do everything together and spend every spare second together. we've been together now for nearly 18 months but the prob...
A. 12 December 2007: You're young, you have ambition, you have dreams and goals. Yes you love him, but stop trying to grow up before your time. Every relationship has its own time and rhythm. If you push things...then they probably will go pear shape.
He isn't at... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I like as my friends advised me? I'm 13, he's 27. Worried about ruining our relationship.
Q. Well for the last 3 months I've been talking to this guy. He's turning 27 soon and I"m only 13. We talk all the time and about last month I started to have feeelings for him. My friends say it's not wrong, but the age differance conserns me. They ...
A. 11 December 2007: Does he know you're only 13????
Are you chatting on the internet?
Ok....Look, I know you're feeling that this guy is amazing, he says all the right things and understands you. But.... You have to be very very careful here.
I think you do ... (read in full...)
I have fallen for another man!
Q. I'm 22 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. After spending the last year working away, and hardly ever seeing him we moved in together in July. I thought things were ok until I started having feelings for a work collegue. It was just a c...
A. 11 December 2007: You're young, if you are having feelings for another person, then you're probably not ready to make a lasting commitment to someone. Theres nothing wrong with that.
I think you should probably be honest with yourself and your bf, don't stay wit... (read in full...)
Worried I could be pregnant!
Q. hi all, just wanted to ask a quick question. I started to take the pill last monday but my period hadnt finished yet, then i had sex with my bf on the tues and we used condoms, however its now a week later and im feeling bloated and im worried maybe ...
A. 11 December 2007: If in doubt, go and buy a preggy test kit.
You probably aren't, but it will put your mind at rest.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a man to enjoy receiving anal-play during sex?
Q. Is it normal for a man to enjoy having his anus played with during sex? When my husband and I are having sex, he likes for me to put my finger in (just the tip) or around is anus. This gives him ultimate pleasure. I haven't questioned him about ...
A. 11 December 2007: YES!!
Anal play gives a man the ultimate orgasm. Women have a G spot, men have a P spot, or the prostate gland. Placing your finger or a sex toy against this gland during sex creates the most shattering of orgasms.
Sometimes it can be difficult... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of manboobs?
Q. dear readers how can i get rid of my man boobs, as i have tried everything from weight lifting, toning and press-ups but nothing seems to happen. Is their any other way to get rid of them as i can not afford to go to surgery as i am not rich...
A. 11 December 2007: Weight lifting will work, but you have to reduce your fat percentage. Man boobs are basically fat deposits. You have to reduce your body fat, weight lifting, cardio and high protein/low carb diet. Weight lifters/body sculpters have these bodies ... (read in full...)
What should I get him for Christmas?
Q. Hi people, as you know its coming up to christmas and i dont have a clue what to get my boyfriend! its so easy for guys but what am i supposed to get him. i was thinking about a dvd but he dosnt have any cause he gets them of the internet and burn...
A. 11 December 2007: Hmmm......welcome to the land of buying xmas gifts for ya man. Never an easy thing.
Clothes are always a good one for guys. A watch is another one, choci's, aftershave, sport or car memorabilia. If hes burning stuff off the net, steer clear of... (read in full...)
What is 'Lube'?
Q. this may sound really stupid but what is this lube or lubricant that everyone is talking about using? is there any other methods of using a substitute or anything? i'm completely new to this whole thing. thanks, plz help!...
A. 11 December 2007: Can I just add, that if you use vaseline or mineral oil as a lubricant with condoms you can weaken the rubber in the condom effecting its integrity. NEVER USE A PETROLEUM BASED PRODUCT WITH A CONDOM.
Also, using mineral oil or vaseline may caus... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to occasionally use porn?
Q. I met my wife 10 years and married for 2. I love deeply and think she is one of the most attractive women that I have ever seen. Occasionally I watch porn.By occasionally I mean I may not watch it for a few months then I may watch it say 3 or 4 tim...
A. 11 December 2007:
Your question, is it wrong to occasionally use porn? No of course not. Is it wrong to use porn behind your partners back , knowing it will upset them?...probably.
I think what you are doing here is tallying up the whos right or wrong in you... (read in full...)
Can a penis be too big to fit in?
Q. is there a possibility that the penis doesnt fit in a girl's vagina because its too big??...
A. 11 December 2007: Take it from a woman thats birthed 3 children, a vagina is an amazing piece of equipment.
Have you ever watched porn where they fist?......say no more.
A vagina is designed to stretch, with lube and time and patience anything is possible.
... (read in full...)
What's happened to my life and where do I go from here???
Q. What's happened to my life and where do I go from here! I am lost. I have been with my man for nearly 9 years, sometimes we have had fairly major problems and dramas, but always seemed to settle again and feel content. Last year I had to sell up m...
A. 11 December 2007: "Does this guy want out and is he wanting me to do it, as he can then say it was not him! What is he trying to tell me."
Do you want out? What are you trying to tell yourself?
You're at a turning point in your life. Illness is a way of making ... (read in full...)
Where to go for sex tips now that porn's out of the picture?
Q. Hey, I used to be addicted to porn so I have eliminated it from my lifestyle and now that I'm starting to become sexually active I feel more inexperienced. When I watched porn I felt (among other things) like I knew what was going on and now when...
A. 11 December 2007: The thing is, looking at porn for "tips" in how to make love to your gf won't work really. Porn is about make believe and fantasy, it doesn't help you to really love your partner.
I agree with the other aunt, books. Have you thought about th... (read in full...)
Pregnant with body issues!
Q. Hi everyone i am 18 weeks pregnant with twins. these will be my first. I already have quite a big bump, although I haven't changed from the back. I just feel so unattractive, and so worried that I'll never be the same again after they're born (an...
A. 7 December 2007: Vitamin E cream, and lots of it. You can buy specific stretch mark cream as well. After your shower rub it into your tummy, breasts and backside.
I'd like to say that you will get back your figure...and you probably will. But I was ravaged ... (read in full...)
Single mother asking for help with rent.
Q. i am seprated single mother, i have 3 children, my husband left home a while ago, but recently he stopped mortgage payment, can i rent the houe from him and get the councel to pay the rent?...
A. 7 December 2007: Get a fresh start and find a place of your own.
:-)
... (read in full...)
How do I get rid of nose hair?
Q. Hi. Slightly embarrasing question. I wonder if there is anyway of getting rid of nose hair. I don't want to get rid of them totally, you understand, because they are there for a reason, but they are visible. I get a few of them poking out from time ...
A. 7 December 2007: Pluck them dear boy...pluck them. Get some tweezers and pluck the long nasty ones that are hanging out. Simple...hurts like hell but its the only real way.
Good Luck
ps, when you pluck make it quick, nothing more painful than slowly pulling h... (read in full...)
Worried about the former husband of the woman I'm been seeing. Please help.
Q. I became involved with a married woman 3 years ago (yes, I know it's terrible) but she was in a dead end relationship and simply afraid to be on her own after so many years with the same man. After seeing each other as friends, and then lovers for a ...
A. 7 December 2007: Unfortunately you have became involved with someone who didn't go through the naural stages of a relationships end. You both have probably jumped the gun.
Every marriage coming to an end needs time for re-adjustment. You said it, she was "simply ... (read in full...)
How do I lose these 'man-boobs?'
Q. dear cupid i am a 16 year old boy and i have the following concern which i need major help in: i have man boobs and i tried losing them but have been unsuccessful, through this proccess i seem to have also seen that one of them is upper than t...
A. 7 December 2007: Yes, you can fix it. You need to join a gym and weight train. Weight training will reduce your body fat percentage and tighten your whole body including your pecks.
Theres plenty of sites online devoted to weight training. Its the only way to r... (read in full...)
Whats the nicest way to tell a girl I am not interested, when online dating?
Q. Hi, I am trying online dating, and starting to have some success. But what if a girls sends me her picture and i know that i dont feel any attraction towards her. What is the best way to deal with this? Is there a nice way of saying it that i dont t...
A. 7 December 2007: Hmmm......theres no nice way of telling a girl you don't find her attractive. You can still chat with her, but let it gradualy fade away. Don't answer her emails diligently, and certainly don't organise to meet her. Like all things they will fizzle ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend persuaded me to shave "down there" and now maybe it wasn't such a great idea...
Q. Okay my girlfriend wants me to shave, we arent in a stage of sex but she just said she'd rather it be if we get that far. I did what she wanted duh, but well i have red bumps now and its not right, I know I didnt shave right so plz help me figure ...
A. 7 December 2007: I happen to wax down there....perhaps you should try that.
Lol...but seriously. If you don't like it, don't do it. Its that simple. She asked, you tried, you didn't like it...so whats the problem. Just don't do it again.
If she refuses to have ... (read in full...)
Is my wifes' self esteem really the issue?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 4 years. We have been together for the better part of a decade. My wife has been sexually and emotionally unattentive to say the least, for a few years now. I understand that sex declines with the length of a ...
A. 6 December 2007: Can I just start by saying you a every womens dream man, understanding, thoughtful, concerned.
But the thing is, some people are simply not sexual. For whatever reason, they find the thought of sex uncomfortable.
Have you had a baby in this t... (read in full...)
How do I get more affection?
Q. My boyfriend only ever cuddles or kisses me when he wants to initiate sex. Whenever i try to talk to him about it he turns it into a joke. I'd love him to show me he loves me more because I know that he does, I'd just like some more affection....
A. 6 December 2007: OH MY GOD!
Disregard anonymous response, how horrible.
Look, all women feel this at some time. We all know what it feels like to have your man wanting the wham bam thankyou mame.
Besides that, some people just aren't cuddly people. I'... (read in full...)
How long do guys normally last
Q. Once you get past all foreplay etc, once intercourse has started- how long is the avg time before a guy ejaculates??...
A. 6 December 2007: I agree with Kenny here, how long is a piece of string?
If you know you will be having sex with your partner that night, have a shower and masturbate to ejaculation. This will make you last longer.
Another thing you can try which works, is ... (read in full...)
My girls wants a threesome!
Q. My girlfriend wants us to have a threesome with another woman and I'm not sure if I want to. I think it would be fun, but I'm quite a jealous person when it comes to her, and I think I might even get jealous of her with another woman. She really ...
A. 6 December 2007: You have to be honest with her.
The thing is, it might be one of her fantasies, but does she value her desires over you and your relationship. You have to be completely open about your concerns and feelings.
You need to really examine what the... (read in full...)
Does he lie about other things?
Q. Yesterday my bf was on his psp, and i asked him if he was looking at porn. (I know he does, he says he doesn't) anyways.. he told me no. So today i was going to use his psp for the internet because the net on my computer wasn't working right. And ...
A. 6 December 2007: Ahhhhh I've had this conversation before.
That was the issue I had with my ex. I had the whole sit down talk, told him if he wanted to explore porn he shouldn't hide it, but share it with me. I told him that being a couple was exploring our sexu... (read in full...)
I really love this girl and can't get her out of my mind...but she is dating other people and I HATE it. What should I do??
Q. So, I met this girl while I was at my friends house. She lives with my friends family during the summer, then goes home which is a 3 hour drive away. When I first met her, she was dating my friends friend. But after the summer ended, she told me ...
A. 6 December 2007: Well,
We can tell you the simple answer, but sometimes thats not the one we want to hear.
From the sounds of it shes what we term here in Australia as a "slut". Shes been playing you, shes probably being playing alot of guys at the same time. S... (read in full...)
My husband walked out on me and my children, he is uncontactable, I still love him but should I still wait for him?
Q. my husband has walked out on me after 5 years of marriage. He hasnt told me where he has gone and hasnt been in touch at all.Before he went he blamed me for everything, that wasnt right in our relationship.I didnt know there was anything wrong,he ...
A. 6 December 2007: Can I just say that running out and finding another man is not the answer. The last thing your kids need is to experience one father figure going out the back door as another comes through the front.
Spend time to heal your family.
Mel
... (read in full...)
She says she's seeing a colleague, and we can carry on as friends. That means bringing her home late 3-4 times a week. Adequate in given circumstances?
Q. I`ve been seeing this girl for awhile,we are really good freinds,she relies on me alot,I feel like her emotional boyfriend. We go out maybe 3-4 times a week but I`ve always liked her more than just a friend and she has always known this, I made it ...
A. 6 December 2007: Theres a saying..."shes just not into you"
Unfortunately, doesn't matter who your are, sometimes you will feel the pain of unrequited love. The best and most effective way to cure this is to go and meet other people. Make yourself availabl... (read in full...)
My husband walked out on me and my children, he is uncontactable, I still love him but should I still wait for him?
Q. my husband has walked out on me after 5 years of marriage. He hasnt told me where he has gone and hasnt been in touch at all.Before he went he blamed me for everything, that wasnt right in our relationship.I didnt know there was anything wrong,he ...
A. 6 December 2007: You didn't say how long he has been gone for. If hes been gone for a few days, hes probably just having a mini melt down.
However if hes been gone for more than a few weeks, you're going to have to pull yourself together. And I know, this is the h... (read in full...)
| *issmel34's friends
These are mutual friends, so *issmel34 has
added them and they have added *issmel34!
|
