A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been cheating on my boyfriend for four months with my male friend, who is also attached. I have been thinking of ending my relationship with my friend, even though my feelings for him are extremely strong, because ultimately I don't want things to end with my boyfriend. However, I want my friend to know that even though I think it would be better for us and our partners if we ended our sexual relationship, that I love him anyway. I suppose my questions are, first, do you think it's possible to love two people at the same time, and second, is there any point in telling my friend that I love him, since our relationship has no future? I feel like even if my love isn't reciprocated, I still want him to know before I end it.
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female
reader, asa0815  +, writes (22 December 2010):
If you were truly in love with your boyfriend you couldn't have fallen in love with your friend. I agree with the post before mine. It's lust. You are both in a relationship with someone else, the relationship with your friend has no responsibilities to it so yeah it seems like you love him. I feel sorry for your boyfriend who has no idea.
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (6 December 2007):
How does it feel to look into your boyfriend's eyes each time and remember the sex you had with your "bestfriend"? Do you really feel comfortable being with your boyfriend after having sex with your "friend"?I want to believe that if your "friend" was not attached you would have dumped your boyfriend long time ago but since he's also attached things are not that easy.
On the issue of loving two people,i want to believe that you've been with your boyfriend for a while and so you have learnt to love him.As for your "friend",you don't love him but are attracted to him and what you feel for him is LUST,the desire for sex.Because everytime you think about or see him you think sex.That's not love and i can promise you that it'll soon fade and you'll want something else soon.If you think you can't live without these feelings of lust,better end things with your boyfriend and tell your "friend" that you love him.Since you two think alike,things can work out but be ready to bear the consequences and he may end up leaving you after you commit.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, missmel34  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 I think because the male "friend" has made it clear that he's not going to leave his gf. Well if I were you I'd probably make a clean slate of it all. Richards right, your probably more suited to the "friend" than your bf.
The fact is, that if your relationship was so great with the boyfriend, why did you cheat. I think you need to start examining your motivations in this and what you really want. Surely your not a "cake and eat it" type person .
Time for some soul searching I'm afraid.
Mel
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A
male
reader, Azarath +, writes (6 December 2007):
 I think that you should break up with your BF, he deserves someone better in his life. I dont think that you really love either of them. you love the way they make you feel. and each makes you feel that in a different way. the best answer I can give you is. break it off with both of them. and find someone new. if you truly love someone you dont have sex with anyone else. and if you truly loved your friend. you wouldnt be able to let him go back to his GF. so in short, you dont love either of them, but you have become attached to both. let them go. you have done your bf wrong, if you loved him you wouldnt be able to forgive yourself. your friend is also cheating on his GF, and im sure he has sex with you and goes straight and tells her he loves her. so you can never truly trust him. trust is a very important part of a relationship, you cant have it with either of them now. do yourself a favor and cut your losses.
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (6 December 2007):
 Hi - if understand this correctly your two questions are:
1)Is it possible to love 2 people at same time?
2)Is there any point in telling him you love him?
Well why don't you stay with male friend and finish with your boyfriend. Why do you think this relationship has no future and at what point did you realise this? Seems like you and male friend are more suited to me.
Good luck
Richard
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