A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I`ve been seeing this girl for awhile,we are really good freinds,she relies on me alot,I feel like her emotional boyfriend. We go out maybe 3-4 times a week but I`ve always liked her more than just a friend and she has always known this, I made it clear from the start.I know she has had some bad relationships in the past,and is scared of relationships.When we went on holiday together I asked her if she wanted our relationship to go any further she said no!! we are now a month on from our holiday and I asked her again,(when I asked her she broke down in tears saying I dont want to hurt you,my head says one thing my heart another,I know that your good for me but I`m not sure I love you!) now she says that shes seeing someone? one of her flatmates? (I know him he works 9-5 6 days a week with some traveling) I`m not so sure about this as she is either with me or working late! (she works in a bar till midnight- 1am) I said that she wouldn`t need me as much anymore and I suggested that we dont spend so much time together,because she`ll want to spend time with her new guy? but she got upset and said that we can carry on as we are, he likes his space and he knows we are freinds? but would you like your girlfriend to hang around with another guy all the time and bring her home late 3-4 times a week? I feel that she wants to treat me like a boyfriend without anything else? or does she have wounds from the past that won`t heal? what about the flatmate guy? Shall i just walkaway from it all? Any help will be gratefully received?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks, I have found out that she is seeing the other guy, I think its for the best I stay away form her, i`ve told its time for me to take a step back,& its not fair on her new guy that we hang around together all the time,& I will still remain a friend,but only at a distance.
A
female
reader, missmel34  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 Theres a saying..."shes just not into you"
Unfortunately, doesn't matter who your are, sometimes you will feel the pain of unrequited love. The best and most effective way to cure this is to go and meet other people. Make yourself available to a new love.
Give it time, no matter how much your mind reasons things out, sometimes the heart is stubborn.
If remaining friends means you can't get over her, you may need to break the friendship. Sometimes a clean break is the only way.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, deb10  +, writes (6 December 2007):
You need to walk away. She does not love you and most likely never will. Get on with your own life and find someone who will love you back. You sound like a great guy who has much to offer some lucky woman. Don't waste another day, minute with someone who does not feel about you the way you deserve to be loved and treated. You say you two are friends. She sees you as a friend. You see her in a much different way. You are waiting and hoping she will love you. You are wasting your years and time.
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