I'm married but have slept with my cousin!
Q. hi im a married women about three weeks ago we all were having a few drinks at my house a few of my friends and my cousins where there when everyone went to bed my cousin asked me to stay up to help him with the computer after awhile he was getting ...
A. 6 March 2006: Realistically, something is only going to happen in Germany if YOU want it to happen. You don't mention whether you're happy with your husband, but whether you are or not, you should really think about your recent actions - you haven't behaved very ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated on me three times but now I've met someone who is really great...
Q. i am currently in a relationship. i met the guy when i was 14 i am now 18. he has cheated on me three times twice with my best friend and once with someone i didn't know. it hurt me alot. i cheated on him once but i was very drunk and i was only a ...
A. 1 March 2006: Many people ask questions on this site along the lines of "I've got a boyfriend, but I've met someone I prefer - what should I do?" What surprises me is that these people always seem to think in terms of 'I either stay with the person I'm with, or ... (read in full...)
When I showed him photos of my friend's baby, he went quiet. Will he leave if I tell him I want a baby before I'm 21?
Q. My friend has just sent me pictures of her new baby boy. I showed my boyfriend them and he immediatly went quiet and looked suspiciously at me. I love him to bits, we haven't been together long but I really want to be a mum before I am 21. I have a ...
A. 1 March 2006: I think you need to discuss this issue with your boyfriend. I normally wouldn't say it was necessary to have the whole 'do you want kids?' chat early on, but it sounds as if you have very fixed ideas about what you want, which could easily cause a ... (read in full...)
Is 'toe-sex' just going to be too weird to suggest?
Q. Please if there is anyone else who has this fetish, or if you are a guy, does this appeal to you? I don't have a foot fetish, but I had one boyfriend who did this to me once, and I want my new bf to do it but I'm scared he'll think I'm weird. M...
A. 22 February 2006: One other point - it would probably be a bad idea for you to tell him you enjoyed this with another guy. If I were you, I'd say you read about it in a book and are interested to try it.... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and worried about my wedding night...
Q. Hello. I am getting married in August 2006. My question is: how to avoid first wedding night discomfort (bleeding, pain, etc...)??? At age 20, I am still a virgin (I believe in sex after the wedding) and I am so afraid of my first sex experience... ...
A. 22 February 2006: Just to let you know, my first time was entirely without any blood, and there was no 'pain' as such, just a mild feeling of stretching. I think I must have already broken my hymen through using tampons or something. This may well be the case for you ... (read in full...)
It feels like we're each waiting for the other to say "It's over"
Q. Hello, I met my bf on the internet. We chatted for a year and then texted for ages and then we met about 4 times a week. Each time I'd go over to Ireland or he'd go over to England, where I was living. I moved over in May 2005 and still in Ireland ...
A. 22 February 2006: Here's an idea - you say that you are arguing "every five weeks" - could this have anything to do with your menstrual cycle? I'm not trying to say you're a hysterical woman or anything, but I know from my own experience that I get very snappy and ... (read in full...)
The average age people start to ahve relationships?
Q. hi just wondering what the average age is for people to start going out with others. I am 16 and have never gone out with anyone and wondering if i dont any time soon will kind of miss the gun. Will soon be going to sixth form or an apprentership so ...
A. 22 February 2006: I was just the same at your age - I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was sixteen, and for me, a big reason for that was school. I don't know how you get on with people at school, but I was always one of the 'nerds' - the sort of girl no-one at ... (read in full...)
My bf slept with his sisters friend while we were apart. I can't get it out of my head and it is driving me crazy!!
Q. My boyfriend and i split up for almost 6 months, he says he missed me like mad and i missed him but we both admitted to having other partners while we were apart. He slept with a friend of his sisters who we often used to go out clubbing with and...
A. 22 February 2006: I think the answer below is a little negative, considering you've already told us that you want to stay with this man. The most important thing for you to remember here is that the two of you were NOT together when he did what he did, so there's ... (read in full...)
I have a flying phobia..am I selfish to ask my partner not to travel without me?
Q. My partner and I have been together for 5.5 years, we bought a house together last year and are very happy. I really don't like flying due to a phobia, this is something I hope to overcome in the future but for now means I am unable to travel ...
A. 25 November 2005: There are two issues here, which I think are feeding each other. Your phobia of flying is the first, and your fear of being alone is the second. Both of these problems are, I'm afraid, up to you to deal with as you're the one with the issues here. ... (read in full...)
My lying, cheating ex husband is making our life hell
Q. I feel like a total let down to myself. I have four children but my husband led a double life for six years telling lie after lie and even arranging a marriage with some else who he has a child with. I took him back and it was lovely to have a...
A. 24 November 2005: You poor thing, it sounds as if you've had a really hard time of it lately, and I can see why you're so worked up - you've got a lot to deal with and I bet you're starting to feel like it's all getting on top of you. I think a helpful approach would ... (read in full...)
How do I get Mum and Dad to come around to my dating an older guy?
Q. Ok, so here's my problem. My friend wants to set me up with this guy, who is "just like me". We have talked on the phone for a few weeks now. I really am beginning to like him! Heres the thing: I am 18, he is 25. Now, I don't think it is a big deal, ...
A. 23 November 2005: At eighteen, you don't need your parents' permission to see this man. I understand though that you'd rather keep things sweet with them, so I think you need to be very firm about this, but without letting the situation descend into stress of any ... (read in full...)
I can be reasonable and calm with anyone except my mum!
Q. Hi! Hoping for some advice on how to stress down! Me and my mum are like chalk and cheese and rarely see eye to eye about anything! Since I've left university I've had to move back home for a year whilst I complete a course that I do at college....
A. 14 November 2005: As far as I see it, you've got two choices here. You can either learn to deal with your anger, or move out of your mum's house. We often find that parents are the only people who can drive us into our very worst moods, and this is probably to do ... (read in full...)
Can I trust what my husband tells me about his aunt?
Q. Long story, 2 quick questions. Can I trust him? And Is he cheating on me? My husband and I have been together for almost 5 years now. When I met my husband, he was living in his own house and his aunt lived with him. She has been all but disowned...
A. 14 November 2005: When you met your husband, he was involved in a strange relationship with his aunt which has all the hallmarks of an abusive relationship, where the dominant person (the aunt) twists things so as to lay blame on the innocent child. The problem ... (read in full...)
How do I tell if he's interested? And if he is, what do I say?
Q. Ok, I'm sooo confused about the signals I'm getting from this guy that I have a crush on. So I could use any advice at this point. In one of my college classes I noticed a really cute guy about a month ago. We would glance at each other during ...
A. 11 November 2005: It sounds like he might well be interested, but you're never going to know unless you get chatting! I know what you mean about how hard that is though. I'm very shy myself, but when I was at college I came up with a great plan for disguising my ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my boyfriend's brother but I don't know how the brother feels!
Q. I'm in love with my boyfriend's brother. His brother has told me time and time again that he feels the same way. I am not happy with my boyfriend and really don't know what to do. I need to find out whether his brother is stringing me along or if ...
A. 11 November 2005: You're not being very fair on either of these men. You say "I am not happy with my boyfriend" - if this is the case, then why haven't you already finished things with him? It sounds as if you're reluctant to be single, and you only want to break up ... (read in full...)
What are we doing wrong? Oral sex doesn't feel like anything at all...
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 3 months. He goes down on me and I don't feel anything, and when he tries to finger me it hurts. What is going on?...
A. 11 November 2005: Is this the first time you've both tried these things? I'll be honest, it sounds like he's not doing it right, but I'm hesitant to give you step-by-step advice as you haven't said how old you are, or indeed how you feel about doing these things.
... (read in full...)
I just can't believe that my wonderful girlfriend was a stripper all those years ago. Sometimes it bothers me...
Q. I love my girlfriend totally. We've been dating for 2 years and talk marriage often. She's 35 and I'm 37, so we're not kids. We are both divorced. She used to be a stripper when she was 19-22. She supported her slacker ex and paid her way through ...
A. 11 November 2005: I think your feelings are normal, in that a lot of men would have similar feelings in this situation. However, it would be a horrible shame for this to get in the way of your relationship, so you need to find a way of thinking about this issue that ... (read in full...)
My old ex-boyfriend is back and I'd rather be with him than with my husband...
Q. Hi I need some advice. I have been married for 3 years, and an ex-boyfriend came into the picture that I still care about. I want to be with him but I can't get a divorce for that. What do I do?...
A. 11 November 2005: What do you mean by "I can't get a divorce for that"? I suspect that what you're saying is that you don't feel it would be a good idea to get a divorce. You haven't said anything at all about how things are with your husband - are they good? I'll be ... (read in full...)
Lately my girlfriend is talking to a guy and telling him lies about our life together!
Q. manic depressive Hi, Im a 25 year old guy and have been with my 20 year old girlfriend for 2 years. 6 months after we moved in together I found out she was talking to a lot of guys online. I started to get a little jealous so I ask her about th...
A. 8 November 2005: From the timespans mentioned in your question, I can tell that you two moved in together pretty quickly, am I right? Also, your girlfriend is quite a bit younger than you, and when she moved in, she'd never had a job before.
It sounds to me as if... (read in full...)
As soon as the girl starts seeming attracted to me, I start to think she's not my type!
Q. dear cupid. I have a problem, and I am sure its all in my mind. I meet a girl, I quickly asses if she's attractive or not. If I decide yes and get the chance I will date her. My problem starts after a couple of dates or when she starts hotting ...
A. 8 November 2005: I think you're rushing into these relationships and putting more pressure on yourself than is necessary. These sudden changes in feeling are a symptom of the fact that right now you're not ready to "settle down again" even though you think that's ... (read in full...)
Oral sex seems really unappealing...
Q. Am the only girl anymore who doesn't like to go down on a guy? I find it highly undesireable and very embarassing. My boyfriend of 6 months says it okay for him that I don't go down on him, but I know he would really like it if I did. How can I go ...
A. 8 November 2005: Does he do it for you? That's usually how Mr Bunbury persuades me! Seriously though, don't try and force yourself into this as you'll end up thinking too much about the whole thing and putting yourself off even more.
Lots of women hate the idea... (read in full...)
We're together long-distance, but my boyfriend still tries to control me...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. He recently went abroad about 6 months ago to work and we agreed to keep the relationship going. The problem is that he wants me to tell him everything every time I go out. Whether guys ...
A. 4 November 2005: Seriously, why would you stay with someone who is possessive and controlling? How is it his business whether you wear a short skirt? I suspect you must be quite insecure to be putting up with this sort of domineering behaviour - maybe you think he ... (read in full...)
The father of my child says I'm on my own, but what's best for the baby?
Q. My ex boyfriend and I dated on and off for about a year. I found out a few months ago that I am pregnant. Initially he said he was confused but he did know that he didn't see a future for us together and I would be on my own. We saw each other a ...
A. 4 November 2005: I can honestly tell you, from personal experience when I was a child, that children need consistent love and support more than anything else. What's really important here is that you think of the bigger picture. Your ex has made it clear that he is ... (read in full...)
I have to work off my room and board with my girlfriend!
Q. Ok, I'm a 26 year old male. I absolutely despise my girlfriend though....and I live with her in a house she is paying-off. I constantly have to adhere by her strict rules. I mean just because it's her house and she lets me live there that I hav...
A. 3 November 2005: How is the relationship generally? Are you loving towards one another? Does she appreciate the things you do? I've got to say, if you're not working and not paying towards the house, it doesn't seem that unreasonable for your girlfriend to expect ... (read in full...)
I found out my daughter's bisexual when I looked at her email!
Q. I am concerned about my daughter. She is 18 at Xmas and has been very friendly with a girl a year younger. They are good friends and I have let my daughter stay overnight at her place on many many occasions. Her friend has also stayed here as ...
A. 1 November 2005: You really need to speak to your daughter about this, as others have said. I think it might be a good idea to discuss this with your wife first, as you're obviously struggling to know how to handle the situation - you say she'd be devastated but I ... (read in full...)
I'm away from my abusive ex-bf, but the bad feelings won't leave!
Q. I'm 20 and I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years about 6 weeks ago. I havent had a good night sleep for the past couple of weeks because I keep thinking about the times when he was really horrible to me. He used to humiliate me and did a few ...
A. 28 October 2005: All the advice below is good, but I'd like to add one more point. I think it's a bad idea to rush into a new relationship before you're fully over the last one. I'm not saying don't see this man, but it would be a good idea to take things really ... (read in full...)
If my bf was just talking to another girl, like he says, why didn't he mention it at the time?
Q. Tthis guy tells me that he loves me so much and I do (really, I do) believe him. But he left his cell phone in my car the other night and when I was looking at his text messages, I came across a text he wrote to this girl saying "hey I had a great ...
A. 28 October 2005: Being friendly with other girls is fine, but if I'm honest, I think that message sounds a little bit more than friendly. Ask him whether the two of you could get together with this girl and "her boyfriend" (say it innocently!) and see how he reacts. ... (read in full...)
In love with my cousin... and my uncle and aunt hate me!
Q. I'm in love with my cousin and I don't know what to do. My cousin already knows and my family and I are gonna move in the same neighborhood next year and his parents hate me, which is my uncle and aunt. Is it forbidden to love your cousin as a ...
A. 28 October 2005: From the way you write, and the fact that you still live with your family, I get the impression that you're a young person still in your teens. At that time in life, it's very easy to confuse newly developed feelings of lust for love. Are you sure ... (read in full...)
I want to hurry up and marry my fiancee...
Q. My fiancee wants to marry me but he wants to wait later rather than sooner. How do I speed the process?...
A. 27 October 2005: Well, the obvious answer is to talk with your fiance and explain to him why you'd like to bring the wedding forward. It really depends though on what his reasons are for waiting - if he is worried about paying for the wedding itself, then maybe you ... (read in full...)
I was drunk, I kissed another guy and I'm so ashamed. I really love my boyfriend!
Q. I really need your help. I have been dating this boy for the past two months. He is the best person I have ever met. I love him so much and feel totally ashamed at what happened over the weekend in what was a drunken moment at at a party. I got dru...
A. 25 October 2005: First of all, let me be very clear about one thing - you're kidding yourself when you say "I was nervous and prayed nothing would happen but it did." If you really hadn't wanted anything to happen, you wouldn't have gone back to this guy's house. ... (read in full...)
My soul mate is married to someone else!
Q. Help! I've been searching for a while and I've finally found my 'soul mate'. She's perfect! Only problem is...she's married. I know I can't tell her, (I shouldn't have told anyone really but there you go), but it's affecting my life pretty badly. I...
A. 25 October 2005: I'm sorry to have to say this, but if she's married, she's not exactly "perfect", is she? The perfect woman is one who is free to offer you the whole of herself for a loving relationship, and that's not this girl. It sounds harsh, but you're going ... (read in full...)
My relationship feels hopeless, like I'm falling out of love...
Q. I am 19 years old and many people have told me that is young for a serious relationship.(been with my boyfriend for 3 years) I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I am falling out of love with him and this isn't what I want. He treats me ...
A. 20 October 2005: Medication can change the way you feel about yourself, which is what is at the root of most depression problems. It may be that if you were feeling a bit more positive about life in general, then you'd see your relationship in a more positive light ... (read in full...)
I discovered I'm pregnant... and the fact that my boyfriend fancies my best friend!
Q. I have been friends with my boyfriend for about ten years; however he has said that he has always been sexually attracted to me. About a year and a half ago we got it together officially and it was so wonderful, we moved in together after six ...
A. 20 October 2005: You really have two issues here. The first one, and by far the most important one, is the baby you're carrying. It's quite soon in the relationship to be committing to a child together but the fact that you've known each other so long goes in your ... (read in full...)
Even after I promised not to kiss someone else, I did it again!
Q. I am 17 years and have been in a relationship for 2 and a half years with Sean. We have never had sex during this time but have been intimate. However, as I started high school, I became attracted to another and began flirting. This led to me ...
A. 10 October 2005: Seventeen is very young to have been involved in a relationship for so long. I'm not surprised you have started to feel attracted to other men - part of growing up is playing around with the opposite sex and learning what works for you in a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes the idea of staying committed, but the idea is making me panicky...
Q. Hi--recently my bf and I had a talk recently about our committment to each other. I feel a little bad not being able to date other people because I became enagged at a young age and it didn't work out. My ex-fiancee just wanted to keep me and he ...
A. 10 October 2005: My advice to you would be that you need to rethink the way you approach relationships. I can see why you feel the need to play the field more before settling down, but in that case, why do you have a "boyfriend"? Generally, once a couple refer to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to tell me everything... and I mean everything!
Q. When my boyfriend and I were first going out, he told me A LOT of personal stuff about himself like how he had an HIV test (results were NEGATIVE) and he had a stuttering problem sometimes and he had two things on his testicles that he was going to ...
A. 10 October 2005: I actually think your boyfriend sounds pretty normal. It's very common for men to talk about personal things like this with a girlfriend, because often they are reluctant to discuss them with other males, and see you as a kind of sounding board. The ... (read in full...)
Other boys are attracted to my girlfriend, because she's so pretty and friendly. What can I do?
Q. I and my girlfriend have known each other for a year. She is very friendly and pretty so she has many friends. I love her very much and she also love me so much too. Everything should well but I have some problems about her. Due t...
A. 13 July 2005: What you need to realise here is that your girlfriend has chosen to be with you, regardless of how many male friends she has. If you try and stop her from being friends with other guys, you'll drive her away because she'll think you don't trust her, ... (read in full...)
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