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After a month, how do I know if I really love him?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 March 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 March 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a month now. We're both trying to take it slow, we've had bad relationships in the past and we both are trying to make this work and not make the mistakes we've made in our past relationships. WE want a real relationship, a real, long, caring, loving, everything that comes along with a relationship. He's trying so hard not to say "I Love You" because he doesn't want to say it and not mean it. And hes been thinking about it alot. But still doesn't want to say and not mean, he just doesn't know. That's my problem. That's the reason I'm writing, How do you know you Love someone? I have really strong feelings for him. Considering my past and everything that was happening while we were on the verge of dating. He came such a great time. Everything I told him came from my heart. I truly feel that way. But how do I know my heart isn't just telling me a lie? How do I know if this is real? I hate being told "You're only a teenager ,You have your whole life to find true love!" WEll, I may be young but I know how i feel.I just dont know if I love him. I know my feelings are true and I care about him. But love? I dont know. How will we know? When will we know? It may be a new relationship. But does that really matter? I mean haven't you ever watched The Titanic? It's a true story ya know!

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (8 March 2006):

willywombat agony auntI am with Smeedle on this one. Some people are lucky and they meet the person they can stay with forever at a young age, others like me....well a serial mongomist would be a good term. A lot of it is about timing too. Like when you meet the guy, what stage you are at in your life, if you are ready to settle down.

Age shouldnt be a problem.... strong feelings can be indicative of love, lust, obsession, or infatuation. How do you tell the difference...I am sorry but I think that is down to the individual....xx

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (8 March 2006):

smeedle agony auntI have been in and out of love all my life, you are not too young to fall in love and if this is not true love it is pretty close.

Loving someone is not an exact science, we all love family, friends, pets, etc but loving someone who you are going out with is a different type of love and when you feel it, you know.

Your cannot imagine life without them.

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A female reader, missbunbury United Kingdom +, writes (8 March 2006):

missbunbury agony auntI think you're getting a bit too hung-up on this one. After a month, no-one can honestly say whether they're in love, in my opinion - and that's not because of your age, it's just because you barely know each other! I realise you don't want to get hurt, but the very best way to avoid getting hurt is to keep things fun and casual - I mean casual in the sense of not putting too much pressure on this brand new relationship. For the first few months, it should all be about enjoying getting to know one another, and it sounds to me as if you two are both so wary of getting hurt that you're not letting things take their natural course. Now, it is impossible for me to promise you that things will work out with this guy, because it's simply too early to predict whether you'll go on to develop the kind of bond that comes with time, but what I can promise is that if you keep things fun, you'll have a much better chance of building this bond. You can't have a relationship without taking a risk, but as long as you are a happy, confident person, you will survive whatever the future throws at you - try not to let this relationship be the one deciding factor in whether or not you're happy, and that way it really doesn't matter whether your feelings turn out to be love or not. And one, final, point - yes, Titanic is based on a true story, but I'm afraid the two main characters are fictional. Unless your man is Leo DiCaprio (in which case stay away from boats...) you should just be feeling thankful that you aren't on a sinking ship, and you don't need to squeeze your whole relationship into one short trip! Relax a little, enjoy being with your new man, and concentrate on building the kind of loving friendship that means however things turn out, neither of you will want to cause the other pain.

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A female reader, StarNews +, writes (8 March 2006):

StarNews agony auntWhen you love someone, their feelings and needs come before your own. You miss them when you are apart. You give unselfishly, and you would be willing to let them go, if it meant they would be happier without you.

I feel that true love takes time, and there is no limit as to how long it takes. You will gradually grow to love him, with time spent together.

You will know if he truly loves you, just by looking in his eyes. He will show you in ways that tell you, more than words could ever express.

Let things happen with time. It sounds like you are off to a great start in this relationship.

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