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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 16 and my boyfriend is 15. Last week I lost my virginity to him. He has told me that he's slept with over 15 girls but I don't know whether to believe him. First we tried it with me sitting on top of him with me facing away. It hurt me so I turned round and had sex with us facing each other, it didn't hurt me then. But the next day, my boyfriend said we couldn't do anything as his foreskin was really sore and it had been bleeding. Why is his foreskin sore if he's slept with loads of girls? Is he lying to me? Or did I do something wrong? I'm really confused. We have been together for 8 months.
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female
reader, missbunbury  +, writes (13 March 2006):
 I can't help noticing that you haven't told us anything at all about WHY it is that you're with this boy? You're clearly having trouble trusting him, and whilst a lot of teenage boys lie about their experience, that doesn't mean teenage girls should have to put up with it. Why would you be with someone who you think is lying to you? More importantly, why would you sleep with him, when you can't even be sure he respects you?
With regards to your specific question, it's very unlikely that you did anything wrong - you'd have to be pretty rough during sex to cause a foreskin to tear, and he'd feel it straight away. It could be that he has some sort of infection making his penis sore (especially if he's telling the truth about all those girls) or it could even be that he was lying because he just didn't feel like having sex - but how can you make an informed judgement about this issue when you already admit that you don't believe what he says in other situations?
The whole point of a relationship is that you trust each other, and you two haven't managed to develop that trust. I would suggest you work on the friendship for a while, and give the physical side of things a rest until you feel confident that you're not going to have your head messed with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2006): It's hard to be sure without knowing your boyfriend. BUT, a general rule I've often heard is that however many people a guy says he's been with, the actual number is far fewer; however many partners a girl says she's had, the actual number is probably higher.
It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong; I'm sure if you had he'd have let you know.
It could just be that the new position didn't really work for him. Or it could be that his foreskin hadn't been able to fully retract before you guys had sex, and in the process, either b/c it was his first time, or b/c of the different position, it got pulled back further than it was stretchy enough to go.
Give it some time, and then ask him about it.
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A
male
reader, J.W. +, writes (13 March 2006):
If I were you, I would ask him why it hurts. Do you trust him? If not, you probably shouldn't be going out with him.
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