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I never developed breasts and I don't feel like I could ever really satisfy a man's needs.

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 July 2005) 31 Answers - (Newest, 3 July 2012)
A female United Kingdom, *issbunbury writes:

I'm a twenty four year old female with sex issues. I find it hard to enjoy sex because of my physical shortcomings - I have never developed breasts. I don't mean that I have small breasts, I have literally NO breasts at all, just nipples.

My stomach sticks out further than my breasts (and I'm not fat, I'm 5'4" and under nine stone in weight.) My chest looks like a ten year old boy's, and it really really gets me down. Whilst my boyfriend is wonderful and reassuring, I feel we can never hope to stay together, as I couldn't expect him to go the rest of his life without ever being able to touch real breasts again.

Do any guys out there think they could honestly commit themselves to someone who wasn't really all woman? If so, would you have to cheat on her just to get your biological urges satisfied?

View related questions: breasts, nipples

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A male reader, LuvTotallyFlatChest United States +, writes (3 July 2012):

LuvTotallyFlatChest agony auntI wish I could meet a woman, 18 to 80, who has absolutely "NO" breasts at all, just nipples. That's always been a fantasy I've had and hasn't come ture yet.

I not only could, but "Would", honestly commit myself to a woman who has absolutely no breasts, just Nipples. I would "NEVER" cheat on her. Having her as my girl, would completely satisfy any and all of my biological urges. She would be my Princess. I would put her on a "Pedestal" and worship her forever.

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A female reader, Vanessa_Twinkle United Kingdom +, writes (18 August 2011):

Hey,

I know this question was posted some years ago but i´m in the same situation i´m almost 17 and havent developed at all just like you described, i was wondering if anything changed in your situation.. i´m so worried i´ll never feel like i real woman

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009):

Honey,

Don't ever feel like that, i am infatuated by small or no breasts.

I absolutely hate big boobs.

So lift that head up high, keep your chest in and be proud.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009):

I am going to say this to hopefully reassure you there are men out there (Like me) who prefer small breasts more than large breasts. You say you only have nipples? Well i don't want to sound like a pervert but thats's pretty hot.

To cut things down if he really loves you he means what he says. And i find that to be the case here. He may also be like me and find small breasts better than large breasts. Weather or not you have large breasts doesn't matter you should not let these feelings keep you down I can garuntee that you to will not break up over your breast size. (That's not what matters)

So please as a [personal favor to me let your mind be at ease] and if your still worried just wait. Other people will agree with me i'm sure of it. =D

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A male reader, aendski Norway +, writes (20 October 2009):

Hi!

I arrived here because I searched "the smallest breasts".

It is a fact for me that small breasts turn me on, and I have to deal with that.

No body can tell me what I have to like.

Small breasts are what I like. The smaller the better.

I am talking to you as a man. A man that many other, that think they are man, try to push down, hit, kill, and do everything that can keep me away from believing that beauty of life is beeing as we are born.

Never forget: God have a plan.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009):

the problem is not your breast size, but your total lack of confidence. if your boyfriend leaves you its not the fact that you're flat chested, its because you have low self esteem issues and there is nothing more unattractive! you are saying hes wonderful and reassuring, as if its a problem that should be dealt with and you are sounding as if you are grateful for him to be with you. i am flat chested also but i am not going to let it get me down because that is how i was made and meant to be. let him think its an honour to be with you. if you dont see it as a big deal, neither will anyone else :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009):

You have no need to worry. Most guys dont judge girls by their breasts. Guys like girls to be human first. If you just think guys like big breast then your wrong. I dont like them, they can get in the way. Big breasts sag, small ones dont so you have an advantage. Theirs no reason why you cant satisfy a man.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009):

You have no need to worry. Most guys dont judge girls by their breasts. Guys like girls to be human first. If you just think guys like big breast then your wrong. I dont like them, they can get in the way. Big breasts sag, small ones dont so you have an advantage. Theirs no reason why you cant satisfy a man.

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A female reader, zeina United States +, writes (16 April 2009):

Hi there! just wanted to let you know that despite what you may think. There are a lot of women out there with zero breast tissue.

I am 28 years old with three children and have no breasts. My breasts look like they are just starting to bud. You can try some natural breash enhancers if you don't want to get any breast implants.

Give it a shot, they might work for you since they work for a lot of people. I just started using Pueraria Mirifica. I hope it does something for me.

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A female reader, vinnysma United States +, writes (27 March 2009):

I just wanted to say I hear you hun I really do. I have never fully developed either my 14 year old sis has bigger boobs than me Im 24 and barely an A but i still wear em. I was about a B after I had my son two years ago, lol it didnt last long i have faint stretch marks and my boobs probly are smaller now than at 21 but neway.

Girl wake up, nobody cares about your boobs as much as you do. I have read every post on here and they are all pretty good. I just want you to know I have been there I am still small boobed, and I have an awesome sex life I really do. I have known guys that loved small boobs to those that love big ones O well just like some guys are big some are small, the only difference is we are women and we can be judged before they are revealed ya know. I just want to put a little spin on this cuz i feel ya really. I have had guys that have big hoohodillys and they sucked in bed, where believe it or not an average and a bit smaller guy rocks my world. All I can say is sometimes good things come in small packages. I hope you can just let loose and love yourself, as someone said self confidence is key fake it, it works eventually you wont worry so much I use to wear padded bras, never took my shirt off while around anyone especially a guy. But now I walk around without a bra on always they dont fit neway, so whats the point. The one thing that I can say is if your man is with you there is a damn good reason for it, try to see yourself as he does, I am sure you have something going for you I haven't been in a relationship for more than three years, and it wasn't consecutive either lol. The worst thing you can do in life is walk with your head down.

True story I am flat and use to have the pitty me attitude, have the I am all that attitude like you dont care what people think and trust me I get hit on all the time. If you act, feel, or even believe that you have a special quality nobody else does you will in time feel good about yourself, maybe you got small boobs, but maybe you have a rockin ass and tummy I cannot stress enough be positive, and dont loose your man because you feel insecure

I have lost some really good ones before for that exact reason ya know the yeah right you know you wish I had big boobs, dont do that to yourself.

I know i feel like a repeat but I really feel ya I do.

nobody is perfect but someone thinks you are perfect for them and that is all that matters, dont try to make them think there is someone better.

I hope this helps you or anyone.

One last thing I thought about being a stripper, actually i was asked if i would that i could make money, and was still worried that I had no boobs and wouldnt get any men to notice me, that is not true i have met alot of flat strippers some of them make more money than the big boob girls. True I just dont know if i could personally get naked and shake my ass for dirty old old men lol.

I just thought you would like to know some men really do prefer small boobs even so they pay for smaller ones over the bigger ones and were only talkin big like a B or C

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A female reader, vinnysma United States +, writes (27 March 2009):

I just wanted to say I hear you hun I really do. I have never fully developed either my 14 year old sis has bigger boobs than me Im 24 and barely an A but i still wear em. I was about a B after I had my son two years ago, lol it didnt last long i have faint stretch marks and my boobs probly are smaller now than at 21 but neway.

Girl wake up, nobody cares about your boobs as much as you do. I have read every post on here and they are all pretty good. I just want you to know I have been there I am still small boobed, and I have an awesome sex life I really do. I have known guys that loved small boobs to those that love big ones O well just like some guys are big some are small, the only difference is we are women and we can be judged before they are revealed ya know. I just want to put a little spin on this cuz i feel ya really. I have had guys that have big hoohodillys and they sucked in bed, where believe it or not an average and a bit smaller guy rocks my world. All I can say is sometimes good things come in small packages. I hope you can just let loose and love yourself, as someone said self confidence is key fake it, it works eventually you wont worry so much I use to wear padded bras, never took my shirt off while around anyone especially a guy. But now I walk around without a bra on always they dont fit neway, so whats the point. The one thing that I can say is if your man is with you there is a damn good reason for it, try to see yourself as he does, I am sure you have something going for you I haven't been in a relationship for more than three years, and it wasn't consecutive either lol. The worst thing you can do in life is walk with your head down.

True story I am flat and use to have the pitty me attitude, have the I am all that attitude like you dont care what people think and trust me I get hit on all the time. If you act, feel, or even believe that you have a special quality nobody else does you will in time feel good about yourself, maybe you got small boobs, but maybe you have a rockin ass and tummy I cannot stress enough be positive, and dont loose your man because you feel insecure

I have lost some really good ones before for that exact reason ya know the yeah right you know you wish I had big boobs, dont do that to yourself.

I know i feel like a repeat but I really feel ya I do.

nobody is perfect but someone thinks you are perfect for them and that is all that matters, dont try to make them think there is someone better.

I hope this helps you or anyone.

One last thing I thought about being a stripper, actually i was asked if i would that i could make money, and was still worried that I had no boobs and wouldnt get any men to notice me, that is not true i have met alot of flat strippers some of them make more money than the big boob girls. True I just dont know if i could personally get naked and shake my ass for dirty old old men lol.

I just thought you would like to know some men really do prefer small boobs even so they pay for smaller ones over the bigger ones and were only talkin big like a B or C

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A male reader, rcsrno United States +, writes (18 January 2009):

My first wife was 18 and a 34AA, just nipples. I had her wear no bras and tight tops. She had nice legs so had her wear short skirts too... at first being my first love I felt I was missing out with her being flat as if she was 11, but after a year I started to love that she was so tiny on top.... but she had an affair after movng into our new house and couldn't face me. My 2nd wife was a almost 34B and when I met her she didn't wear bras. Of course she wore tight tops and told me guys wanted to feel her breasts through her top... she also had an ffair and that was that.

Then I met a younger woman around 21 and with 34B with large round nipples. The type of breasts where I could lift them up from under them.... her breasts were everything to her but even women at work told her she was small breasted... but I think most guys love tiny breasted women because it makes them feel either that their woman is young or loving the tom by look... so don't think for a moment that tiny breasts are bad but remember there's lots of men like me who love smaller the better.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007):

well id say that if he really loves you and he really wanna stay with you it wont matter. i were with a girl once who like you didnt have any breasts but it was a great time

just sit down and have a serius talk with your bf about it if you dont feel comfortable.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007):

I have no problem with a girl with small to no breasts. I feel that largew breasts are disgusting, but small breasts are more of a turn on to me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007):

I am 23 years old and I never developed breasts. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and it took me about a year to let him see them and allow him to touch me. Before I met him, I thought I wasnt good enough for men and I thought no one would ever love me because I had no breasts.

Even though I have a boyfriend who doesnt mind if they are there or not, I am still not happy and feel horrible about them and quite simply I dont feel feminine and never have. I dont feel sexy and therefore it effects our sex life - even after 5 years. Its a horrible emotion to feel. I have been to the doctors on numerous occassions, who took blood tests to check for hormonal imbalance and other problems but everything is normal. Its just been called 'one of those things' by the doctors. I got refused breast surgery on the NHS because I am 'overweight'. - I am a size 14-16 and weigh 12 stone. I am not that over weight. Its frustrating because theres nothing I can do to make them grow! But hang in there! and Im sure something will happen and things will be ok for you. Its good to know i am not the only one who feels this way, although I would never wish it upon anyone. Good Luck with everything.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007):

"God gave men a brain and a penis but only enough blood supply to run one or the other." Robin Williams

Lots of men like women with very small breasts. You need to concentrate on those areas of your life that make you feel really good, competent, happy, in control. The more you can overcome the self esteem issues which developed during your puberty years (when you didn't) the better you'll feel and the more you'll just be one of the group who has a flat chest and a great personality. Personality can get you into a relationship quicker than a page 3 girls boobs, but her boobs will get her laid by any Tom's Hairy Dick anywhere in the EU. I'm assuming that a relationship is more appealing, because it has more places to go than a quick bonk. If all else fails, phone NOW magazine in

Toronto Canada, and insert this ad. "Robert T, I read your advice, when would you like me to arrive?" Include your e-mail address with your hidden information for NOW to pass along and I will meet you at the airport and treat you properly.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007):

I've heard many people tell me that nobody can love you if you don't love yourself..and if men can see that you like yourself, they will want to get to know you more...as they will want to get to know the side of you that holds the mystery to your confidence!

Nothing is more attractive than that!

Good luck with enjoying life!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007):

I think that a woman is true to her inner self

I personnaly love tiny breast and nipples

I find them much more exciting than big breast

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2007):

I am nearly 16 and have exactly the same problem. I've been to many doctors and they are completely baffled by my condition because in every other way I am perfectly healthy. For now I just wear a bra so that the cups create a little shape and I can fit into normal clothes, and I am only ever self concious about my appearance when I have to wear a swimsuit. But I am very worried about later on in life when I start to have physical relationships with men, because not only would I be too shy to show my flat chest, I also worry I will never be able to satisfy men. It isn't exactly a secret that men like actual breasts, not matter what size. My chest is like a childs'. It's good to know there's someone out there like me.

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A female reader, missbunbury United Kingdom +, writes (16 March 2006):

missbunbury is verified as being by the original poster of the question

missbunbury agony auntThank you all (belated thanks!) for your help on this one. I know really that you're all right when you say I just need to work on my confidence, and I'm doing my best to work on this, with the help of my boyfriend who couldn't be lovelier. I'm trying to work up the courage to see a doctor, just in case some of your suggestions might be right (about hormonal problems) but if I'm honest it's a scary prospect, because if the doctor says nothing can be done, that will pretty much be it for me. I know I should just bite the bullet and go, but I am worried I'll embarrass myself by falling apart if he gives me bad news. That's obviously ridiculous, because "there's nothing wrong with you" should be good news, so I think it might be better to just work on being happy with what I have.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2005):

I would advise going to the TRANSFEMME website and buying breast enlargement pills. Thye say it really works.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2005):

Whilst I cannot answer for you, my girlfriend is totalling flatchested and likes nothing more than having her nipples licked and sucked by myself. In fact, I find big busted girls something of a turn-off - they look O.K. strapped up but are quite repulsive once the girl's bra is removed. Love making, rather than sex, is between two people and if both are mutally attracted the size of the bust/penis does not come into the equation. Enjoy the rest of your life!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2005):

You don't need to see a doctor (though I'm not saying don't if it would put your mind at rest). I'm sure all women know how hard it is to be happy with their own bodies, and that's VERY hard, and I've had similar thoughts about my boyfriend at times. But you obviously are an attractive person for you to have a caring boyfriend at all. Try to avoid making excuses for him or other men, you'll only end up bitter if for any (other) reason the relationship does end. Some women do have tiny breasts, it's no medical problem, and tiny breasts can be as sexy if not much more so than massive or even reasonably big ones. All this has been said above, but I was just going to add out of interest that scientific testing of what men look for (consciously or subconsciously) has shown that breast size has nothing to do with it - what they actually notice is waist-hip ratio.

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A female reader, Helen05 +, writes (6 July 2005):

Loving your body and being comfortable in your own skin is one of the hardest things to do. Beleive your boyfriend when he says that he finds you attractive. Not all men are interested in breasts, and not all men are interested in appearance.

In fact, most men are attracted to confidence, so do whatever you have to do to get it, be that seeing a doctor or telling yourself that you are an attractive woman.

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A reader, becky05 +, writes (6 July 2005):

Id see your doctor to put your mind at ease. Your boyfriend knew what you were like when he met you, he obviously doesnt bother!

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A reader, schlottjl United States +, writes (6 July 2005):

schlottjl agony auntWhile I am a woman, I would like to chime in only because I want to cry right now...

Granted I have the opposite problem than yours, (34ee Smaller than it sounds as it is 7inches larger than 34 at my largest area. (Notice my expanation- (yelling:) I'm not fat and can't prove it even if in front of you!))

But I can tell you that no one who is a white female feels good about her body unless they have some majorly strong self confidence that borders on narcicism. (By your body image I am assuming you are white but the self hate is spreading and I might be wrong. No insult intended in that case;))

I look everywhere an I only see models w/no boobs. I'm afraid that grandma bras are a turn off. I have been assaulted hundreds of times back in my school years; enough that I'm damaged and fearful- I almost stopped noticing. You have to go numb when you are a peice of meat. You can never be certain that a man loves or even recognizes you, since those who do notice you are the minority of men and they tend never to look at your face. VERY uncomfortable.

What I really hate is that now, as I age, my larget section is also at my waist, but so are the nipples. You have the option of a boob job, which Really ticks me off, because yours would be perky. Mine are referred to as rocks in socks. -Pretty- I look like a whitch doctor snuck up and shrank my head.

I know you could not care less that my nipples are like pancakes and nearer my belly button than shoulder. But I was once horrified by my body until it was made worse when I finally did get through to a flat chested gal.

I begged a friend to swim suit shop with me. I was horrified that she vocally and loudly rejoyced for many hours until she just deeply smiled constantly and hugged me with thanks for months. She felt set free from her own prision now that she saw how bad it was like an inside. She would not shut up about how happy she was that she had no breast tissue- like you.

But since you want a mans perspective, I do know that men in the presence of crowds of people, have mocked my body (something you are safe from) as they attempted to show they were in love with their smaller girlfriends. I never doubted it since larger girls are sluts deserve public scorn in immature circles. Or in convenience stores...

Having women attack you cause you smiled and held a door for them. Apparently their boyfriend were inside and they had to take me out befor the animals humped my leg. Oh but the guys quickly joined in. All I wanted was a pack of smokes and a cold drink. I had not even registered they existed. They screamed "you think you are all that!" Whatever that means and one threw tobacco spit at me. Nice.

Which leads me to my point. Women, not men have MUCH larger issues with breast size. 2 to 1, men prefer no breast to large breasts. And 9 of ten men have a much larger thing for the following: butts, legs, abs, hips, hair, feet, smile, eyes, charisma. In fact, you will not attract a boob man (your lucky I think they are pervs half the time anyway.) But you will attract one to your asset. Wouldn't you prefer that asset was not superficial?

But one thing turns all men off eventually; attitude. We have been led to believe men are not human beings but raging peckers. We are told this by protective men who prefer we never figure out they lied, and women who could not know for sure, and like to bitch, because they are bitter and men like charisma not hateful chutspa.

What does a man need? Keep far, far away from any man that states or thinks it is boobs that will fulfill them. Make them get a boob job. (Keep in mind to reduce sizes looks like you have had an autopsy. my mom looked like the magic trick actally fail and sawed her in two and then crosswise as well.)

Men need what women need. Companionship, love, respect, honesty, admiration, trust, and commitment to name a few. They like conversation so long as it is not hate aimed at their taste in women.

If he needs lumps of fat, direct him to your back side, not your butt, just keep walking- leave him in the dust.

Ask men. Act like you are taking a psych survey. (You would be amazed what total strangers tell you.) Do it with a friend. If you choose a large chested friend, men will say the truth since they are damned if they do or don't.

If you were to realize, your a whole package and let your strengths shine, the one for you will love it all. (One is a fallacy probably 20,000-80,000 guys would be your match because love is an action and choice when it is real. It is not a compulsion. That is lust. or so will be just as good. But if you hated yourself, you invite others to hate you as well.)

Remind your self that boobs are small part milk gland (think cows) and a large part fat. Big boobed women are that way because we have the fat gene. To make it worse, running to keep it off is plain dangerous! Every woman in my family has spinal disk erosion, there is no way to look skinny (even when I was 104 and was my adult smallest at a 32d!) A body will equalize. I have 5 lumps after you add the hip, hip, belly, lumps- all of which NEVER comes off. I have horrific stretch marks from growing 4 sizes one summer when I was 9.

So you, a small chested gal, and I a fat chested gal can be equally hateful of ourselvs. I was able to find peace with my naked self when I found a long term relationship who never said a word throug all my sized up the scale and down, and then slightly up again.

Also, I read a overly spiritual book, by some new age quack who did have a thing or twp to teach me. She went to Romania or Yougoslavia, (however they are spelled.) and saw that all the women were short waisted, round faced, hook nosed and front tooth gaped like she was. She felt too normal. I finally thought about all my relatives who were big boobed and decided they were all okay eventually with themselves. And I remember my love and respect for these frountier women who went west in the USA on covered wagons. One of the first groups to California, where I still live. They can take a famine, hard work, and a bull breatin smoke. They birthed babies and buried most of them, They served family, friends and God. They were real women and they are me. I am made perfect for a small sect of the guys, the ones that matter. Who am I to disrespect the women who made me possible?

The time the body is really the priority is in the very beginning- not the end. Any guy with you at all has passed the test so lighten up. No one woman can have it all. But we all have something!

The body is just a vehicle to get you from here to there. Treat it kindly. So long as you can adore your man, make him feel like the king of your world, and have a warm, wet place for him somewhere, (sorry to get crude,) you can keep him happy. But that is your choice.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2005):

You are all woman! You can have children can't you? you have a sexual appitite just like everyone else!? The fact that there is someone out there who obviously loves you for who you are says it all.

Nobody's perfect. I have a humungus belly, but then people say I have fantastic legs, so I got my pins out!

Surely you have one feature that your proud of? so flaunt it, that way people arent going to see the girl who has no breasts but will see someone with fantastic eyes or a gorgeous bum.

You need to lift yourself above this and realise that there may never be a time when you will have breasts, so are you really going to let yourself be miserable all that time? stand up straight and proud, people are going to be attracted to the happy, laughing girl, not someone who sits in the corner not talking to anyone.

Everyone has their bad points, and the thing is we may not even see them. What do you notice in someone, their big thighs? or the fact they are laughing and talking to you. Get yourself out there girl!

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A reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (6 July 2005):

It's obvious you have personal issues with your breasts.

MANY men are attracted to women who are flat chested.

Your boyfriend reassures you, but still you feel insecure.

I would advise consulting a plastic surgeon for implants.

My sister got the procedure done because she was also flat chested & now she is a glorious 38C & absolutely loves it !

There are alot of female celebrities who are flat chested and they are confident, happy, strong women.

1) Debra Messing from Will & Grace

2) Kim Catrall from Sex in the City

3) Michelle Pfeiffer

All 3 are beautiful, sexy women who love who they are.

The issue is how you feel about yourself, sweetie.

There's an old quote: "If the barn needs fixing...fix it."

Do whatever makes you feel good about yourself....just don't go overboard & get 40 operations like some celebs.

Strive for balance & contentment.

If you want breast implants...go for it !

All the best,

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A reader, pops +, writes (6 July 2005):

YOu may have a hormonal condition. Check with an Endocrinologist. Then talk to a psychiatrist. The problem is your mental self image. Breast augmentation( implants) may be the answer, but I doubt any plastic surgeon would want to operate on a woman with deep emotional problems. Look on the brighter side. Flat Chested women can wear anything, and look terrific, well into their 50's and later. Do you think Faye Dunaway is well endowed? Have you seen the movie, the Thomas Crown Affair, with Steve McQueen? She wears a halter dress that is backless, and cut to her waste. No woman with large breasts could get away wearing that very easily. Count your blessings. pops

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2005):

The person you need to see is your doctor. Having small breasts at twenty four is perfectly normal and, to plenty, attractive.

However, if the situation is as you describe, then there could be an underlying hormonal cause.

Your doctor can give you the necessary tests and hormonal treatment is usually fairly straightforward.

Do not be embarrassed, remember, the doctor will have seen plenty of far more embarrassing ailments.If you are worried you can always ask for a female GP.

If you are so unhappy that you are moved to write here about your problem, then it is time to give yourself the very best chance of sorting it out.

Make your appointment today.

Best of luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2005):

I think that any guy that you would want to be with wouldn't care about your physical features at all, and if he did care he would think they were beautiful. Maybe the problem is you getting over your looks, if it really discourages you get implants but i wouldn't risk your health just to look better... but it's your body:) by the way.. breasts aren't all that.. they do get in the way sometimes ;)

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