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female
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anonymous
writes: Ok I have a problem. I have been with my bf for a long time now, and I have never ever been able to make him cum by giving him head. He tells me its awesome and that he love it when I go down on him, and his whole body shakes when Im doing it. He does really enjoy it, because he asks me to do it to him, but why doesnt he cum??? Help. Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, emastafunk  +, writes (2 September 2008):
im a guy and i have this problem, but it is partailly my faultas a guy i tend to beat off quite a bit and i have found out that if i dont do that for a few days prior to getting some i actully cumalso the major problem i get is if i am not relaxed (for instance if in the backseat of a car) i cant cum at all no matter what im doing...it sucks to be tallso u wanna get ur boyfriend off 1. make sure he is ready for u2.and get him to relax hey swallowing is always cool too
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): I can completely relate in this matter.My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and have just recently within the last six months gotten truly sexual with one another. We're abstaining from the actual act but we've given oral and whatnot a couple of times. Every time, though, I can't get him off. I don't think that I'm doing anything wrong - he guides me and shows me and approves of the corrections I make but no matter what, it still isn't enough. He feels awful for it and I know it isn't his fault but it gets to the point where I don't even want to try anymore. As someone else said earlier, why bother starting what I can't finish? I've recommended holding back on masturbating, trying not to think about it, I've tried setting the mood to be relaxing and comfortable ..He has gotten me off several times, but I can't get him off. I was brought up on the idea that men don't last, and that women never cum. Yet here I am with the opposite problem.It hurts to know I can't fulfill his needs and satisfy him. It doesn't matter that he tells me that it isn't me, I still feel as if it's my fault .. and it's taking a toll on our relationship ..I know this wasn't much of a help, but I can certainly relate ..Hopefully those women [and men] out there who relate as well finds a solution ..Hopefully we do too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): I make my husband cum all the time I learned what he likes and dislikes. He really likes it when i put my thumb and finger around the bottom and apply pursue and then with my mouth I suck on the top part it don't take long and his moaning and before you know he is coming.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008): Wetter is better. Get up as much saliva as you can and be steady. Pay attention to his reaction to see what speed and how hard or soft he might like it. Use you hands ALOT! Play with his balls with one hand while you use the other had to go up and down is member while you suck. And when he says he's close be more intense. Last but certainly not least. SWALLOW. Always works when I do it. :) Happy Stroking!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): Use your hand to stroke it whilst you're giving him a blow job and he will eventually cum.
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reader, b.g.f.lady  +, writes (24 April 2008):
ok well i give my bf head sometimes and he never comes...but he asked me to and i dont know how...is it possible to practice somehow cuz i wanna know wat im doing before hand ya know??? any advice would be very helpful and greatlly appreciated.
Thanks =)
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male
reader, john101  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 what you should do is turn him on with some porn movies or some naked dancing to get him in the mood. if not your boyfriend isnt ready to cum yet when you give him head does transparent stuff come out, if it does then he is not ready to cum yet
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reader, john101 +, writes (14 April 2008):
what you should do is turn him on with some porn movies or some naked dancing to get him in the mood. if not your boyfriend isnt ready to cum yet when you give him head does transparent stuff come out, if it does then he is not ready to cum yet
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): I cum all the time from oral sex. The key is not ejaculating for several days before. Swirl the tounge around the head of the cock and use your hands to stroke all the way up and down. Steady motion is key. The peppermill move also helps while stroking it - twist your hands as you go up and down. Look up at your man with your eyes too. I also cum faster when I get on my knees and she lays on her stomach to blow me. I love it when she swallows also.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): I've got the same thing with my guy - he says i'm the best he's ever had & that but i can't make him cum when I give him head! He wanks off...a lot :) so thats probably why.
Also, when youre thinking about cumming, you cant do it. Like if he was there going "god, I've got to cum. She wants me to cum. Why cant I do it?" obsessing in his head, hes not guna do it.
He's probably thinking too much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): The best what i've found is for my gf to use both her hand and mouth moving together. Constant non stop pace is key and this is where you need to ask him what pace works. You shouldn't stop once you've started, kinda like walking a tight rope, once you started you can't go back and if you stop you'll fall off.Another thing here is that self masturbation doesn't help, make sure he stops for a while before you do anything. Not like a year or anything but long enough to get him on the verge so that when he walks past you you can sense the heat beaming out his pants.Also trying new things or working old things whilst your doing it can work too, like mutual masturbation or you playing with yourself whilst on the job (this one works well for me:-) or anything that pushes his buttons.The whole thing about control can be true for some and not for others. I personally love it when my gf takes command from time to time but also love being in control, depends on the situation really but the important thing is it can vary.Another major thing is to get him going mentally, tell him things like you can't wait to get his thing in your mouth or that you've been thinking about doing this to him the whole day or something along those lines, be a dirty girl, nothing hotter on the planet!Hope these things help
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): I have the same problem with my chap, we have been together 2 years and i have never once been able to either wank or suck him off. I have read SO many articles on this subject i should be an expert by now but no matter what i try i cant make him cum, he always has to finish himself off. We have talked about what he likes but it makes no difference. Lots of things i have read talk about some men just needing to be in control, and that the woman shouldnt feel that it is her fault - this doesnt make me feel any better at all tho. It is getting to the point where i dont even want to try anymore, no point starting what i cant finish. He even feels guilty that i cant make him cum, says it doesnt matter but of course it matters to me. It has become such a massive issue with me, i am worried he will look for it elsewhere, i think it might even split us up, which would be such a shame as every other area of our relationship is great.
P.s never had this prob with any of my exes, used to think i was great in the sack, all my confidence has gone now
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): hey im gay nd me nd me bf both take a while to cum"! he usually wants sexc time with me when i am tierd.....nd i say no but he goes on ne ways. so i go with the flow but i dnt cum. my advise is to make sure he is active and really HORNEY this way you will be sure to get what u want from him ;0
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008): The reason why they don't go honestly is because you don't know how to do it right.
This is an example of what it's like.... It's like hand cranking a brick for 10 minutes on a ancient machine, then all of a sudden you lost momentum or let go, but then catch it again just before it hits the ground, now all of a sudden your set back 5 minutes so now the job will take 5 more minutes.... If you keep letting go the job could take forever.
You have to know what feels good and keep doing the same thing over and over, if you stop it and do something else you think is a turn on then it "resets".
Another reason is because some men are not average and go too fast or take too long.
As a rule of thumb, they should go as fast for oral as they do in intercourse.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): The guy I'm with has a similar problem. Or rather, I do. I musta gone at it with my mouth for an hour without getting anywhere. Then, I let him fuck me for an hour. Every single time we've been together, he finishes himself off with his hands for me. I love it, cause I like swallowing.
He says he loves it. That he loves that I'm so into it. But I really wish I could make him cum. At all. In any way. But he's not a small guy, either. So the second time I gave him head, my jaw hurt SO bad. Damn, I really wish I could do something for him.
I know I haven't helped at all, just letting all of you know you aren't alone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): It's the same with me, too. My boyfriend says he really enjoys it, and his body language shows it as well. It's possible that your boyfriend masturbates too much (I know mine does...x]) but tthe key thing is that it can take a while for a guy to get an orgasm. Just make out with him a lot before you give head...it'll make him more sexually excited and a better chance of getting an orgasm.
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reader, scarlet_tears +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Hmmm, I have heard that having something minty just before can make it more tingly.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): I read that some men just cant get off unless they are in control. Your boyfriend may love it, like my boyfriend, but beingin control is the only way he will cum.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007): maybe he has a dysfunction so cant come but i reckon he enjoys it try ball baiting/teasing his cock beforehand might be even better
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): everyone finds it hard to make me cum all my ex gf's couldnt do it b giving me head or tossing me off but i was quite suprised when my new gf done it 2 me it was her first time and she made me cum quite quickly but when shes giving me head i feel like im going to cum but i dont so i told her not to be so gentle and she done it again and i cum so my advise dont be gentle and enjoy it
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): try playing with this balls and then suck him off really hard and fast. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): Yup he's been spanking the monkey way to much and he's lost some sensation in he's king kong, try handjob with ky jell
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): listen my boyfriend loves it to. taunt him only go half way instead of a fyll
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2007): my boyfreind comes too quickly! if he enjoys it your obviously not doing anything worng, i wouldn't let it get you down so much i know it is probably hard but he probably is embarassed about it too, as my boyfreind finds it very hard to make me come but we talked to eah other baout it and now it doesn't bother eihter of us so much! hope this helps!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007): funny, I just asked a male friend this question - I have very rarely been able to bring a partner to orgasm.
I have asked boyfriends before to be specific but most guys seem reluctant to do so. I suppose this is because they don't want to be critical. I always get the "it feels wonderful baby" response, and I'm sure it does, but I aim to make it more wonderful
My friend gave me a very clinical lesson - and his main refrain was that the biggest mistake women make is being too gentle.
some other specifics - there are two pressure points right above the scrotum and below the ball sac and one right above the ball sac that are very sensitive. Massaging these areas can help. With the first one he said you can feel that as the very base of the penis internally.
He suggested gripping the base of the penis with one hand, and with pressure, using the other hand to massage up and down while focusing on the top 2-3 inches with your mouth, and sucking rhythmically, as previously suggested, like a lollipop, paying specific tongue attention to a spot on the bottom, right below hte head.
He also suggested pulling the penis down a bit from its natural tendency to point upward when hard.
Obviously every man is different, but you can usually get an idea of what's working and what's not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2007): im gonna say try this it always works lick his thing like a lolly pop and suck as hard as you can massage aroung the head with you toung some guys are just difficult i couldnt make my husband cum till a friend told me to try this
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2006): I've got the same problem thats happened with several people. Don't beat yourself up about it, its not your fault. If he's anything like me you'll have to agree for him to stop pleasuring himself for a time and he'll cum around eventually ;)
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reader, mystify +, writes (13 March 2006):
 i wouldnt worry , id just do it till it starts to wear thin then move onto something else, whether it be your turn or nibbling his neck ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo how do I go about perfecting this technique? I need some help here, Im running out of ideas and its making me a little worried. Thanks to everyone for their responses to this!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): Not to start an argument, but I'll bet the problem is that he's masturbated so often...for so many years that he's now finding it difficult to respond to oral stimulation. So, unless you perfect your technique, and I do mean perfect, your boyfriend will likely not achieve orgasm through oral sex with you. Just to make things clear, I don't think his failure to climax during oral sex is your fault (like about 98% his fault).
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reader, wishes +, writes (8 March 2006):
 I had the same problem with my ex. We were together 4 years and never once did I make him cum with my mouth, or my hand. Funny thing was though is that he could jerk off to make himself cum. No matter what I did, I just couldnt. He would tell me that nobody had ever made him feel as good as what I did, and nobody had ever been able to make him cum unless they were having sex. I felt bad not ever making him so sometimes we would jerk him off together while he was sitting on my chest and he would cum in my mouth that way. Just for something different, you know? I know its not you, but it probably makes you feel bad anyway. Dont worry about it, just accept that its something he cant do. Best wishesx
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reader, DreamMaster  +, writes (7 March 2006):
 If you are just being gentle he will enjoy it for longer, but if you want to make him cum, you probably need to wank him too for a minute (picking up the pace gradually), keep your mouth near the end of his penis and lick that at the same time for extra sensation.
Another way is more aggressive pumping action with your mouth, make sure you have created a nice seal around the end, and move your mouth up and down sliding your lips along his penis.
Do either of those for a minute and you should be 'rewarded', its up to you whether you stand clear or not.
On the other hand you could of course ask him what he specifically wants done, and what he likes most, but either of those 2 would be a nice surprise - lucky guy
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reader, missbunbury +, writes (7 March 2006):
 Have you talked to him about this? It might just be that he's making a really big effort not to come, either because he thinks you won't like it or because he'd rather go on to other things first, if you know what I mean! It definitely sounds like he's enjoying what you're doing, so I wouldn't worry too much unless he's complaining, but it the meantime you could try learning a few new tricks. In my experience, persistence is important; men take quite a while to build up to orgasm. Have you tried using your hand at the same time? A mouth and a hand together feels better, as it means you're stimulating more nerve endings. If you want specific advice on technique, the best thing to do is to ask your boyfriend, as men have different likes and dislikes.
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