A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've just split up with my boyfriend and I don't know what to do with myself. Since I was 16 I've always had a boyfriend, it's only been a few days and I feel lonely and bored and I miss him. I know I sound pathetic needing to have somebody in my life all the time but I can't help it.My boyfriend was pretty horrible, he took drugs, he drank too much, he always wanted an argument. Whenever I tried getting rid of him he would harass me and stalk me. Pretty much a nightmare relationship. I definitely won't be going back this time because he is currently on bail for assaulting me. Usually I have this thing in the back of my mind that he'll say sorry and he'll try and change but it's clear he would end up doing something awful to me.I'm the kind of person who just spends all my time with the boyfriend I have, I should make more effort with friends and family but I never do. I've just sat down and thought how bad that is.How do you stop yourself from missing somebody you really shouldn't. I miss talking to him and I don't know why. How do you take your mind off things like this, any advice on how to change my way of thinking or being would be greatly appreciated!
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female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (24 January 2015):
 You learn to take your mind off of him by building the independent life you should have had that balanced out your life with partners and would have made you less dependent on their company - starting with family and friends :)
A
female
reader, kath35  +, writes (24 January 2015):
You can do it it will take baby steps but things will get better soon and you will be thinking about him less and less than it will be suddenly hours and then days then weeks and then months eventually years will pass where you actually can't even imagine what the heck was such a big deal your heart will be healed and whole again message me anytime on here also I will continue to pray for you and your family ?? for peace joy love and the greatest of these is love God's blessings to you and your family ?? ?? the
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2015): Get a hobby, make new friends and try to find out what you want from life for yourself before you let a guy become your whole world. It gets easier once you see the problem so you are already on the right path. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (24 January 2015):
You are simply used to him. You do not miss him. Get that in your head. You are missing having someone at your disposal all the time.
You need to start learning to enjoy your own company. You already know now that you haven't been around for friends and family. So make an effort to spend more time with them. Find yourself some hobby you might enjoy doing alone. Read, it takes away a lot of time. Or play games online for all it matters. But stop looking for someone to keep you company.
If you are in a situation where you are going to constantly think of him, just seek help from a friend. Someone who would understand that you aren't used to be alone and at the same time spending time with someone who isn't your bf. Meet up with some girls and go out shopping. Go alone if you please and treat yourself with ice cream or something.
Now that you know what your problem is, work towards making yourself feel better.
Mind you, finding another boy isn't your solution. I know how you feel. But that's just not an option any more. And DO NOT get in touch with that guy. No matter what the reason. Even if he changes or expresses that he has. It's not worth your desire for company to be caught up with such an abusive person
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